Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 17 - Mothering Forums

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#481 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 11:03 AM
 
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Isa, I hope you feel better soon.

Outdoorsy, you have 4 or 5 months? She probably doesn't feel the time crunch as severely as you. All my babies have stayed in my room until they were kids, so I've never fought about a baby room. My personal stance is just smile and nod. More normal might be to ask her to pick a deadline, walk backward through the projects so they each have a deadline and ask if there's anything you can do to help? More assertive would be to show up at home with materials to build the closet and start building if she doesn't take the hint. More sassy might be to empty one drawer, lay the baby in it and send her a picture of the baby enjoying her new room.

Pokey, what do you do that you have to dress a certain way? If you have to dress up and skirts are comfy for you, that might help.

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#482 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 11:08 AM
 
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wishin'--Good luck with starting speech! How often does the preschool meet? I think it will be really good for him to go and be around the other kids--it may be good for his speech! Obviously, you know best if you feel as though pulling him out would be the best thing to do but I would give it a good try--just keep in mind that he might need some adjustment time.

Pokey--I wore black yoga pants to work a few times with a nicer looking shirt and it looked fine--SO much more comfortable at the awkward beginning stage...

isa--Thanks! I think I will PM her and see how it went...

outdoorsy--Oooh...that is tough. I really don't have any advice about it...but I wish you luck!

21 weeks today!

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#483 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 11:23 AM
 
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Pokey--here's another vote for "nice" black yoga pants for work winky.gif

 

Outdoorsy--I liked Seraf's suggestion of setting deadlines and helping with provisioning of materials for each project.  Other than that, it would make me CRAZY to not feel like space was being made for me or the kidlet...that's tough, and you are clearly a wildly patient woman!  

 

Seraf--he used some sign at first (more, nursies, eat, drink), but mostly we became proficient at speaking his martian speak...and he's such a laid back human being in general that it's rare that he is unable to get his needs met through some combo of his pidgin and gestures.  So, I know that when he says "ay ay, egazoris, blue, ne, yellow e" that he is saying that he is a blue, green and yellow stegosaurus and that he would like me to feed him some pretend leaves or that "offeee awk, ot chalik" is a request for hot chocolate at the coffee shop.   I'm hoping to someday chat with the donor sib families (TSBC so there is an in-house registry) to find out if any of the donor sibs have articulation disorders.  We are not registered yet on the contact list but will after the next kiddo is born.  

 

Lise--21 weeks!  Huzzah!  And, in answer to your question, DS starts toddler room, 2x a week for 3 hours each time (and then in a month he "graduates" to the preschool room), next week.  I do think it will help him put more energy into producing language that is more universally understood.  I also think that having him in the toddler room first (he's the oldest) will allow them to get used to how he speaks before he's in a room where the assumption will be that he is able to speak clearly (all the teacher's rotate, so they'll all meet him in the toddler context).  Then, when he turns 3 he'll have an additional day a week of preschool through the public school that is only for kids with speech delay.  


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#484 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 11:36 AM
 
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seraf and lisedea-I work in investments in an office that serves very affluent clients.  Our dress code is business.  We are only allowed to wear jeans on special occasions.  It's pretty conservative.  I tend to go more toward business casual myself, but I don't see clients very often.  I have always thought it would be comfortable to wear a dress and leggings while pregnant.  I will have to try some on.  I have never worn a dress or skirt to work, and I don't wear them often normally, but this might be a good time to start.  I think part of the issue I'm having is that I feel uncomfortable being the center of attention, and I think that if I show up to work in a whole new wardrobe and with a belly poking out, people will notice.  I have only told my boss so far, and I will have to start telling other people in my office next week, and I'm nervous about it.  It's more of a mental health issue than a fashion issue.  I think once I start telling people, it will be a lot easier. 




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#485 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 11:44 AM
 
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Pokey--Motherhood Maternity has some "slacks" as my mother would have called them that may work for you.  You could also try the Pea in a Pod line at motherhood maternity (looks like they have a pair of cuffed tweed trouser sort of pants that may work).  I had to wear "nice" pants when pregnant and found a pair of black pants that were dressy enough for my purposes at Motherhood (just try to ignore the fact that their pregnant pants models all are wearing heels...).   And...full belly panel is way comfier than below the belly IMO and I think the full belly panel pants tend to hang more professionally (maternity shirts will cover the top of the pants--so a maternity button down, an unbuttoned suit jacket over and a pair of slacks...)


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#486 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 12:00 PM
 
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Thanks for the advice, wishin' and seraf and lisedea.  I just ordered a nice pair of black yoga pants online.  One reviewer said they were nice enough to wear to work.  We'll see.  I think they should cut me some slack while preggers.  I have lots of nice tops and a few sweaters.  I would like to get a couple more cardigans because my office gets cold sometimes.  I went to Macy's the other day and they have a section of clothes from Motherhood Maternity .  I used the gift cards I got for xmas. I got a nice pair of khaki pants.  They are too long so I'm going to wash them and then I might even hem them myself so I can wear them soon.  This weekend I will go to Kohl's and maybe Target and see what they have.




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#487 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 12:52 PM
 
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Carmen!  Whoo hoo!  That's AWESOME news!

 

Carseats: Radian fans here.  Love them.

 

Strollers:  We have a MacLaren umbrella stroller that my mom uses, but DP and I carry H in a Kinderpack backcarry or have him walk.  At 15 months, he can walk at the same pace as our 4yo, and can go about ten city blocks before tiring (!!!).  One of the reasons that we don't like strollers is that by having them walk early and often, they are genuinely tired come bedtime and they sleep so well.  Both kids were early walkers.  DD uses her bike if we're going a distance, and I can scoop H up into the carrier if he tires.  

 

Steph ... Mama, you have my utmost sympathy.  I had very low supply with my first child, with the resulting pumping regime, herbs, meds, and at-the-breast supplementing with the LactAid.  It is such a surprise and so devastating to not be able to nourish your baby, when all the experts kept going on about how everyone can nurse their baby, and how everyone has enough milk, and how breastmilk is all you need.  Thanks to the milk bank here, we were able to keep our daughter on breastmilk for about six months, and the same with our second child.  I have more milk this time around, and would highly recommend nursing through any subsequent pregnancies as I am sure that's what boosted my supply ... not starting from scratch, so to speak.  My older one nursed throughout my second pregnancy.  If you ever want to commiserate, or chat, I'm here! 


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#488 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 01:34 PM
 
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Starling, wow! That's a lot of walking without tiring! Shay can make it to the park, about a quarter mile, before he becomes too distracted for me and stops to look at every single rock and blade of grass. He adores the stroller, to push Soren around. At home he only stops walking to nurse.

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#489 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 01:42 PM
 
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Lillie can't make it from the car to the house without bending forward and saying, "Caaarrry meaaaa!" in her most dramatic, exhausted voice!  Also, she can't pick up more than 3 toys without saying she is "Too tiiiirreddd!"  One time, it took 15 minutes for her to make it the 15 ft. from the car to the house.  I am not even exaggerating.


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#490 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 02:07 PM
 
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Steph, your baby is adorable! I'm so sorry you have to deal with the low milk supply issue. It sounds like you are doing a great job figuring it out, and I'm sure it's been very challenging. Hugs to you!

Seraf, that is so sweet that Shay love to push soren around in the stroller!!! They seem to have so much fun together! We still haven't pulled out the co sleeper but are planning to soon. Thanks for the encouragement! I'll keep ya posted.

Carmen, so happy for your amazing news!

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and thoughts on sleep and naps. We are working on getting Wylie on more of a nap routine. Not a schedule, just a little more of a rhythm he can count on. We are working on laying him down to nap at least once a day, in his rock n play, about 2 hrs or so after morning wake up. It is pretty near impossible to rock this guy to sleep in his bed. He beds to be swaddled and walked/danced to sleep, then gently transferred. as he is now 15 lbs, it is getting to be a lot of work! And I am no body builder. So now I'm feeling a little sad and insecure that dp is more successful at laying him down these days than i have been. Seems like with me, he just wants to nurse to sleep, and gets annoyed when i try to move him! So if we areboth around, i nurse him to sleep, then dp picks him up and rocks him back to sleep and lays himdown.. Tips on easing out of a "sway you in my arms til you fall asleep" habit? Who ever knew sleep could be so complex????

Queer parent on the adventure of a lifetime raising my sweet little guy, born at home in September 2012, with the love of my life by my side!
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#491 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 02:13 PM
 
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Also, about the strollers, we haven't used ours much because Wylie is not a fan! He is a very snuggly guy who prefers to be held close. We have been practicing more to help him get used to it. We have the snap n go stroller and we use the chicco keyfit 30 car seat with it. Don't have much to compare it with but it seems fine. It was cheap! But I find it to be a pain in the ass!!! I think we're gonna get a cheap, simple stroller that we can store in our apartment, and keep the snap n go in the car for those times when it might be useful (like when he falls asleep in the car, which is rare, because he hates the car seat too! Thankfully we don't drive that much!). The car seat is really heavy, in my opinion. Good luck finding the perfect one!

Queer parent on the adventure of a lifetime raising my sweet little guy, born at home in September 2012, with the love of my life by my side!
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#492 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 02:32 PM
 
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Wishin- Why do you have mixed feelings about preschool? I know my sister had a very hard time sending her son to preschool because she just wanted to stay home with him. I am also a big fan of sign language and intend to use it when baby comes along.

MidwifeSteph- How much Domperdine do you take and for how long? I have been taking it for 5 days (20mg 4 times a day) and I am not seeing much of a change yet but my doctor told me it could take up to 3 weeks to see the full results. I know for me I really have to increase my water intake to help it all out.

Seraf- I love greens. AND I have already located a second hand baby store near where we are going for the birth. I am hoping to find some excellent, fancy, but slightly used items there.

Desert- Who knew you were a photographer? Such a clever demo, I loved it. I think I’m too lazy to do pictures correctly. My saving grace is I’m a digital person so I can correct them after the photo. wink1.gif

Outdoorsy- DP and I have been having conflict about the baby’s name and about “partying” before the baby comes. I think it is a difficult time and stressful for everyone. I know for me going through my stuff can be emotional; this might be the case for your DP. Is there anyone who can help with these projects? Can you hire someone to help? Do you have any close friends who can help you with a little moving party?

PokeyAC- We are also doing gender neutral green for our baby room too. I also vote for wearing yoga pants to work with a nice shirt long shirt that covers your butt?

2 weeks away from EDD. The social worker is getting our entire paperwork ready and making sure everything is in order. Still need to move all my books out of the baby’s room. Enlisting friends to help me do it this weekend.

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#493 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 03:19 PM
 
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Max, that is so exciting! So close! And so great that you've been getting milk already.

Pokey, maybe you've already tried this, but I rocked the "rubber band to make my pants fit longer" technique for quite some time. I found it quite useful, with a long shirt to cover the waistband. I also support the nice yoga pants! Go preggo fashion! :-)

Queer parent on the adventure of a lifetime raising my sweet little guy, born at home in September 2012, with the love of my life by my side!
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#494 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 04:41 PM
 
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Max ... I was on 160mg (4 x 10mgs, 4 times a day).  Are you doing any of the Mother's Milk tea?  Oatmeal?  I also took three capsules of Fenugreek several times a day and Blessed Thistle tincture too.  


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#495 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 05:28 PM
 
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Starling- Yes I am taking a mother's milk blend tincture and tea (blessed thistle, fenugreek, and nettle herb) and a goat's rue tincture. I haven't started Oatmeal but I should, I heard that can help. Who prescribed you 40mg 4 times a day? My nurse/midwife told me only 20mg 4 times a day. He said I could take it for a maximum of 3 months. I think I will email my LC and see what her past patients have been on.

These are the only things I have in my baby room right now. Pictures of monsters we bought at the pumpkin festival from a local artist. I have a few necessary items we will bring with us to the hospital. I've started to pack my bag in case it comes early.

TTC#1 since Sept, 2009; in heartbeat.gif w DP, + two young dogs. Started adoption process May 2011. adoptionheart-1.gif  Baby boy born on June 18, 2013 and placed with us.babyboy.gif

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#496 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 06:38 PM
 
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My wrap arrived today! Yay! DD was more than eager to try it out. She said she liked and that it was "even comfy!"
Here is a pic of me and my 28 lb. 4 year old

DSp was up for trying it out, but said he wouldn't actually go anywhere like that...

Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married rainbow1284.gif May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD babygirl.gif (L-4). dog2.gif Billa,  dog2.gif Hurley, dog2.gif Spitfire (Leroy) and cat.gif Nollie too!
* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * * 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * belly.gif * 36 * !38! * 40 - stork-boy.gifstork-boy.gif EDD 9.5.13

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#497 of 912 Old 01-04-2013, 09:11 PM
 
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Outdoorsy, Sara said she would just rearrange while the partner is out of the house and oblivious. That's probably why she's with a not and smile partner.

Esenbee, she's a cutie. 28 pounds? Shay is 27.

Max, adorable pictures.

Planet, our boys nurse to sleep (usually in bed if we are home, it's the only time I get to sit down some days and I'm taking it) and if they stir when I lay them down, I kind of moan and lay on top of them. Like just and arm or leg thrown across and "mmmmmmm."

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#498 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 07:35 AM
 
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Thought for the day for all the pregnant ladies, lets talk about shoes!

We don't wear shoes in the house, so we always put our shoes on right by the door. I heavily favor slip ons. What about anyone else?

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#499 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 08:30 AM
 
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Seraf, what if a non nursing person is taking care of them, what do they do? I'm trying to support my mom, who will be babysitting Wylie one day a week staying in February. There's no way she can hold and bounce him for 20+ mins to help him fall asleep. I have the magical power of nursing, but none of his other caregivers do.

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#500 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 09:44 AM
 
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max, wow, it's getting close now! How exciting :)

 

seraf, my feet were so swollen by the end of my pregnancy with DD that I wore Keen's (very wide) every day unlaced. Not very professional looking at work but it was comfy. I pretty much wear my blundstones all winter.

 

planet, I'm assuming she's physically not able to bounce him? What about sitting down and rocking him? I bet she'll find her own way that will work.


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#501 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 10:16 AM
 
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I can only wear vans slip ons I bought a bigger size and they are easy enough to put on with my swollen feet!

Carmen so great to see your bean growing! August is a great month to be born !

Steph ...your LO is so cute! Love the expressions she makes... I hope your supply goes up! I've read it can take 12 weeks for supply to come in...I've done a lot if reading regarding bf lately because ill be attempting to pump and possibly nurse the boys...

Desert... As always ever is the cutest ever ! Love the photo course you gave! Lighting is my biggest issue

Pokey... Good to see u and Dp last night... Cameras Nikon slr are easy to use and not overly exp ... The 3100 or 5100!are easy and user friendly ... I highly suggest the slr with kids!

Max you getting excited? Nervous? Do you have names settled yet?
Love the pics in the baby room!

Sorry if I forget anyone else!

Afm... 27 weeks tomorrow ... The boys are kicking alot more and I love feeling them... Not at 4 am but most other times! They r funny babies I can feel them but every time DP tries they instantly stop... She has yet to feel them... It doesn't help that I truly hate my tummy being touched I tolerate it for a few minutes... But it's very stretched and super sensitive ....
I also have been having a lot of nausea after about 5 pm they dislike food from that point on.... But I'm trying diff things to see if it helps.
Our new local friends who were having triplets ( a lesbian couple) gave birth on jan 2 to two girls and a boy ... The girls were 4 lbs 10 4 lbs 6 and boy was 3lb 11... All doing well and she was able to try and bf the girls yesterday ... They were 33 weeks and look great and are doing well ! We are going to try and see them and see the nicu where our boys will be !

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#502 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 10:16 AM
 
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Sorry double post love the iPhone! Lol

Loving life with our triplet boys born Feb 24th 2013 at 34 weeks biggrinbounce.gif

 

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#503 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 11:36 AM
 
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We use the Nikon 3100 DSLR, but the 3200 has the ability to connect with a smart phone and post photos to facebook, email, text messages. DW wishes we had that, lol.

Mom and Mama to our Ever so clever daughter (9.1.12)! We have a blog, too!
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#504 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 12:46 PM
 
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Planet... I nurse my babies to sleep, and I was so worried about napping and sleeping when I went back to work when my oldest was a year old. My mom was going to look after her for one day a week, and DP would be home with her for the other day, and occasionally my sister.
They all quickly and fairly easily found their own ways of soothing her to sleep. Turns out that when the boobs aren't there, sleep happens anyway! It's shocking, truly.
Now with our second, same thing. Grandma, auntie and DP have had no trouble putting him down.
They all do a variation of lying down with him and patting his back and singing to him. Takes them less than 5-10 minutes.
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Seraf, what if a non nursing person is taking care of them, what do they do? I'm trying to support my mom, who will be babysitting Wylie one day a week staying in February. There's no way she can hold and bounce him for 20+ mins to help him fall asleep. I have the magical power of nursing, but none of his other caregivers do.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#505 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 02:18 PM
 
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Birthmother just texted me and she is 2cm dilated. She is having false contractions now so the baby may come early! If you all don't hear from all of a sudden you will know why! We are nervous and excited. Thankfully some friends came over and helped clear out the baby room today.innocent.gif:twothumbs

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#506 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 04:15 PM
 
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Desert--I forgot to thank you for your amazing tutorial!!!  Awesome!

Max-baited breath and best wishes to your kiddo to be, his/her birth family and you and DP!!!


  Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!  joy.gifjoy.gifpartners.gif
 

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#507 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 04:49 PM
 
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Max, I hope everything goes smoothly, if the birthmom is indeed in labor. Yay for you guys!

Mom and Mama to our Ever so clever daughter (9.1.12)! We have a blog, too!
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#508 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 05:17 PM
 
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Max, I think I was 2 cm for weeks before I gave birth, I hope that baby doesn't keep y'all in suspense for so long!

Planet, Starling said it best, sleep happens. Rocking, patting, singing. My boys will also fall asleep in the sling, with a bottle, in the stroller or car. For a long time "Baby Beluga" was THE sleepy time song. I don't know that our non-existent babysitters would all know that song, either.

Wishin, speaking of babies trying to dive out of the sling, Shay pulled that today. And I made him wait while someone took a picture.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
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#509 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 05:56 PM
 
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Pokey - Sorry, not much camera advice here. We are still using an older model Canon PowerShot A40 that was our first-ever digital camera. But we are considering getting a new camera for baby photos. I personally endorse the idea of not dealing with the cost or complexity of an SLR unless you're a real photography buff. My sister has something like an Elf or one of the tiny things and likes it a lot, partly because it's so easy to take with you.

 

 

AFM - thanks to everyone who replied to my plea for advice. I realize after reading the responses that I'm more concerned (perhaps selfishly) about wifey not clearing out her bureaus than I am about having a nursery done before the baby is born. I talked to her about it Friday. She initially said she thought we'd have two bureaus in the baby's room with one for me and one for the baby. But when I told her I thought it was outrageous for me to be in the house over a decade and not have any drawer space in our room, she agreed she should make space for me (while also insisting she wasn't getting rid of anything, just moving it somewhere else in the house). It's a start.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#510 of 912 Old 01-05-2013, 06:16 PM
 
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Did someone ask for camera advice? I used to collect cameras but more the film ones. I have a Nikon D80 SLR which is awesome - it was about 800.00 I think (with lens)? Maybe a bit less? I can't remember. The newer models have video too - mine was the last not to have it. I also just bought a Nikon Coolpix P310 pocket type camera a couple of months ago. It has fully manual controls if you want and other than having a less than ideal zoom I'm really happy with it. It was under 400.00 I think. I also bought a Flip video camera before DD was born and it's super fun and was super cheap!

 

I messaged the doula we had for DD's birth and she said she'd love to work with us again - hooray! She was actually the back up doula but she was there for the entire time and was amazing.


Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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