Sphinxy we don't know how long it is going to last. They are waiting on filing their taxes and getting a refund to pay for deposit of an apartment. They have helped with dishes and even laundry today. But toilet paper seems like it just disappears and I don't want to see what the water bill will be in two months. Our grocery bill has almost doubled as well :/ DSp is always getting after DD for being too loud when one of them is napping, which seems like all the time. Personally, I feel like if it isn't a normal sleeping hour, or if it's our normal time to get ready in the morning, then DD shouldn't have to censor herself in her own house. It's just frustrating and DSp doesn't share in my frustration and just thinks I'm being b***hy and it's my "hormones". UGH
Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD (L-4). Billa, Hurley, Spitfire (Leroy) and Nollie too!
* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * * 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * * 36 * !38! * 40 - EDD 9.5.13
cananny - Thanks! Your belly is awesome! Hoping for you that these next four weeks pass by as comfortably as possible!
bigfoot - Love your ultrasound story - wow! I can't wait to see those kinds of pictures. A question for you - DW has been reading along with me from my months on QC, and she's considering joining herself now that we are pregnant, but has asked me if that would be "weird" for us to both post. I keep telling her it's fine and others do it, too. Any thoughts on what prompted you to jump in with your own username?
esenbee - Oh, that is frustrating! It is first and foremost your house (and DD's, and DSp's!) Kind of makes you want to help them do their taxes quickly, huh?!
Afm, must find a way to focus on actually working during the work day tomorrow, and not looking up lists of things to eat/not eat, playing with a baby gift registry,staring at my stomach, etc. like I did today...
My wife (31) and I (33) were married in 2006. We are proud queer mamas to W, born Oct 2013, conceived at home IVI via frozen WTBK donor sperm. Planning on TTC #2 starting in Sept 2015 through the same method. I am/will be the gestational mom.
Steph, DD also slept on me or sometimes DP for naps for a very long time. Or I would nap with her and she's nap beside me. It was just easier for everyone to do it that way. I got caught up on reading, DD got lots of sleep and my DP got a break too! We have also bed shared since birth...DD started sleeping in her own bed in our room by her own decision - after she was 2 but I can't remember exactly when. However, she then wanted a bed in her own room so we set that up for her and she's been back in our bed every night since ;) We all sleep great though (unless someone is sick) so it works for us. So I guess for us, no putting her down didn't get harder as time went by...it got easier! Thanks for sharing the photos - what a cutie :)
omom, I can't believe Sage is cruising...wow, time has flown by!
mrs: yay for gummy bears! I think my baby this time around is a tad lazy as he or she pretty much slept through our scan today ;)
esenbee: I had some brutal nausea off and on earlier but it's isolated to evenings now for the most part. I did sea bands and cocculine and whined a lot ;) I only vomited a few times though so I was able to cope for the most part. House guests would be brutal to have during the first trimester...I hope you are able to get enough rest.
Sphinxy, when you find a way to focus on work can you let me know your secret?!
Afm: Thanks everyone! It's feeling a little bit more real now! We told some family today and are hoping to host our closest friends this Saturday to announce to them too :) We also told DD...who was very quiet about it at first but then started asking questions - we had bought her a stacking puzzle that shows the development of a baby in the mother's tummy over time - it's really cool and she liked it. I think she took it well though as I can currently hear her laughing hysterically with DP....who is supposed to be quietly reading books before bed ;) We also chose a real estate agent and her over tonight for a walk through. She's going to come back on Friday so we can talk price, etc. We have a ton of de-cluttering to do but we're hoping to just box a bunch of stuff up and move it over to the house so we're lucky that way. So many changes coming!!
Cananny, you look amazing! Getting so close!!! What kind of support will you guys have when the babies come? I imagine that having an awesome support crew will be SO important with triplets...it was a lifesaver for us (and we only have the one little guy!)!
Carmen, congratulations! This is awesome news! I'm glad you are feeling more confident. I have a good feeling as well! :)
Steph, your little Lucie is so cute! Look at that smile!!! How old is she now? As others mentioned, we have had quite the journey when it comes to sleep with our little Wylie! He is four months old now; he'll be five months old in a week (which I cannot believe!). I'll try to summarize for you, but this is probably going to end up really long!
Wylie's first couple weeks, he was soooo sleepy. He slept all the time, anywhere, on us, on the bed, it didn't matter. But starting around week 3, he refused to be put down to sleep! And that includes on the bed next to us. He had to sleep literally on top of us at night! That didn't change until he was 12 weeks old!!! It was so sweet, having him sleep on top of us. Since he was 3 weeks early, he was super tiny. But once he hit week 7, I started to freak out. I could no longer sleep with him on me anymore; he was too heavy. So my partner had him on top of him every night, which was problematic for various reasons. We all went to bed together by 9pm for a good chunk of time. As sweet as it was, it was hard! We tried side-lying nursing as a possible solution, but we weren't very good at it, and instead of calmly drifting off into sleep while nursing, Wylie would writhe around and need to be burped and end up as wide awake as ever.
Everyone told us to swaddle him, that that would help us be able to lay him down, but he hated being swaddled. I could tell that it would help a lot, because he would wake himself up with his startle reflex, but when we swaddled him he would just freak out, 0 to 100 style! He took all his naps on top of us or in the carrier, and anytime we would practice laying him down, he would just instantly wake up. When he was 12 weeks old, an awesome nurse encouraged me to try the "double swaddle" (arms swaddled, legs free- you can see a video of it on You Tube). She said that babies change and that we should just keep trying things over and over. My partner was against the idea, because of our many failed attempts at swaddling, so one day when he was at work, I tried to swaddle and, BAM! He was perfectly calm & content. So that night, we did the double swaddle and side lying nursing and, amazingly, he slept next to us in the bed all night long!!! We haven't gone back since, and it has truly revolutionized our lives.
For naps, we got the Rock n Play, which was described to us as some kind of miracle bed. At first, Wylie wouldn't sleep in it, which was occasionally discouraging, but we just kept practicing, giving him an opportunity to try sleeping on a surface that was not our bodies. Sometimes he would sleep for 20 minutes. We would always hold him for a nap once he woke up, and I think it was helpful to give him a chance to practice. But again, once he hit 12 weeks, BAM! He was suddenly ready for things that I never would have believe possible only days before. We swaddled him, rocked him to sleep in our arms, laid him in the Rock n Play, and he slept for over an hour! Since then he has had many naps in the Rock n Play, and I think it is the most amazing thing ever. Our nap procedure is pretty elaborate, but it works. We rock him in our arms, with white noise playing, humming, until his wiggly body relaxes and his eyes start to droop, then we lay him in the rocker, then we pat, hum and rock until he is asleep. We sit near him to help pat and rock him through his little sleep transitions, otherwise he'll wake up in 20-30 mins (he sometimes does anyways, but oh well).
As far as having an evening, we have made great strides, but are still working on it. Wylie is a smart little snuggler; he wouldn't let me nurse him to sleep then sneak away. So now we put him to bed in his Rock n Play, then hang out in the dark, watching movies really quietly ("What did he say?" "I don't know." "Oh, well."), while rocking him. Sometimes he ends up sleep nursing in my lap, and more and more often he'll stay asleep in his rocking bed. If he's still asleep when we're ready to go to bed, we carry the rocker with him in it to the bedroom like he is a little prince. But he usually wakes up as soon as I'm falling asleep, requesting to be brought into bed with us. So our evenings are pretty quiet, and Wylie still has control over the entire apartment, but it is a HUGE improvement for us, and we are delighted. :)
I've been told to watch out for the Rock n Play because eventually he will be too big for it and need to transition to nap in the bed, but I am not worried about that. One thing I've learned is that Wylie is *constantly* changing and there is no way to predict what will or will not work until the moment that he decides he's ready. So one day he will be too big for the rocker, and all of a sudden he will want to nap in the bed (or co-sleeper, if we ever get around to trying that thing out!). I have found it most helpful to hear lots of different experiences from other parents, do what works for us, and stay in the present moment, because things are always changing.
Enjoy the sweetness!
p.s. I came home from work today and Wylie, who had been mostly resisting the bottle all day, immediately started to suck on my neck so hard he gave me a hickey! We went into the bathroom to check out the damage, and it was so obvious that I started to laugh and tell Wylie all about how my 7th graders would get all freaked out. And he just started to laugh so hard! It was the first time I've seen him truly laugh for an extended period of time. We stood in the mirror cracking up for a good long while, and it was one of the greatest baby moments yet: full on, authentic baby giggles. Just wanted to share! Much love to you all.
Sphinxy - If you don't have a problem with it, your DW should jump in! I just got to the point where I wanted to pipe up and say something a handful of times. After a full year of TTC and going to the RE we learned a lot and QC is so great to compare notes and find out what prescriptions other people are taking and stuff. It felt a little less weird to jump in once we were pregnant than after months of her posting on QC on her own. Also I knew at least one other couple posted over here having lurked on the board on and off.
He is a cutie. He has been pulling up for a long time but last night he started letting go. He fell and fell and fell. It was hilarious. He has no desire to crawl, he seems to think he should just start walking. One issue we are having is that he has had a serious preference for me since Sara came home from her trip. We aren't sure if its because he was upset that she left, if her supply dropped or just if she isn't movin around as much as he would like. Hopefully my being back at work today makes him settle back in.
Sphinxy, I didn't use any herbs during my first trimester. Honestly, the "natural" product I found most useful during pregnancy was Mother's Special Blend oil, which I had to slather myself with to quiet the INCREDIBLE FULL BODY ITCHING I had!!
esenbee2, I can appreciate your frustration about having to be quiet in your own home outside of "normal sleeping hours". My mom, who lives on the first floor of our house, keeps a schedule like a club kid even though she's 74 years old. ;) She literally goes to bed at 4am and gets up at 11am!
Of course, we haven't convinced Annamaria (who wakes around 6am) to stay completely quiet during those hours, so there can be a bit of conflict there...
That being said, esenbee, I'm concerned that your partner doesn't seem to be taking your frustrations seriously. :( Are there any helpful communication techniques you two have tried? I am a big fan of "feeling when you because", myself.
Seraf, I realized you're in a similar field to my mom's health aide, though I suspect you have more advanced degrees. You would want a bonus if one of your clients' grandchildren were visiting during the time you were working, right? And you were the only able-bodied adult in the home at that time?
What do you think would be an appropriate amount for this? An extra 33% above her normal pay? More? Less? (The aide has already agreed, so it won't be an unwelcome surprise or anything.)
Carmen: Great news! Hooray! I'm so glad. It's exciting that you're really starting to tell people now.
Seraf: It's impressive that Soren has started letting go. All your kids seem to be advanced standers.
Planet: Aww, baby laugher! That sounds like a lovely moment.
Sphinxy: Hooray for being over at QP&P! The internet certainly has an endless supply of things to read about pregnancy, babies, baby products, etc. Good luck staying focused on your work.
BIgfoot: It sounds like your teenager is doing very well with baby acceptance. What are some of the names he is suggesting?
Cananny: You look fantastic! What an amazing baby-growing job you are doing.
Nauseous people: I found this thread interesting in terms of ideas of supplements to prevent or reduce morning sickness. But I didn't find it until after I was done being pregnant, so I have no idea if they work.
Has anyone heard anything from AmandaHope or LibraryLady recently? I've been wondering how they are doing.
Hi to everyone else!
AFM: Our 15-month-old is never a great sleeper, but he is having an especially tough time this week. It's hard--we're not willing to let him cry much, and since he reverse-cycles I want him to get as much breast milk as he needs, but I am tired. My current hope is that at some point in the next year I will sleep 6 hours in a row.
GGNJ, I'm only one step higher than an aide, but yes, that's what I do. Your question is an interesting one. I have no answer. I cannot accept any bonuses from the family of my patient and I could not handle adding a toddler to the care of my patient. I hope your mom is in a much better place, health wise, than my patient. My patient does have grandchildren who cause a number of difficulties but they are in the care of a different adult. I would imagine that that a fair price for childcare would be reasonable? I'm not sure.
Yes, it sounds like my mom has more mobility, etc. than your patient. She can even be left alone at times - she's sharp as a tack mentally, and is in a wheelchair but can stand, pivot, and transfer with only a little help. And she loves to play with A, but she's not able to prepare A's food, change diapers, etc. by herself.
So really the assignment is "childcare with a little eldercare on the side". In the past, we've given the aide $20/hour for this (she gets $15 an hour if she's caring for either just Mom, or just A.)
But this will be the first time we've been out past A's bedtime, so perhaps it should be more? A does NOT like bedtime...
I very much appreciate you taking the time to answer me! :)
Thanks for the nice comments.. It sure is getting active in my uterus.. Had and U/S today and the tech said they will def keep you busy .. He sees them weekly and always notices how busy they all are... everything still looking great.. fluids, HR, Breathing, ect.. one more week in.. each week is closer to them needing less time in the NICU :)
Planet.. we have my mom flying out after they come home from the NICU.. she will stay a month or so.. depending how long I can tolerate her.. It sucks because DP has NO time off.. she will take a week when boys come home :( We also have a list of doulas who are generously donating time to help with the boys.. one being KSDOULA from here :) And Pokey ( if shes feeling up to it being pregnant) . We are very lucky to have good help lined up .. plus we have good friends who all love babies :) In the summer DP grandma is off and will come for a few weeks to a month to help out.. then I fly solo :)
Sorry I cant respond to everyone 's news and posts.. My energy is zapped and my attention is short lived.. LOL but I do read along and think of everyone!
Cananny—four weeks is so soon! Have you guys already assigned a name to each one, or are you waiting to meet them to see who is whom? I always wonder how people keep track of which one is which before they are on the outside. So exciting! I wish I could join your help brigade, but you are too far from my neck of the woods.
Bigfoot and Mrs—Aww…little arms waving! Glad that things are going well on the teenager front—if he chooses good names will you use them?
Carmen—glad it’s going so well! What puzzle did you get? It sounds really interesting. Hope things work out well with the real estate agent, too! Does that mean you’re definitely taking the family home?
Planet—the only thing worse than getting a big ol’ baby hickey would be having to walk it into a classroom full of 7th graders. Glad Wylie sees the humor of the situation!
Sphinxy—not weird at all! Send her on over! We’ve definitely had other couples both on here at once—it’s nice to get to know everyone!
Seraf—I bet he’ll be walking in no time—he’s got such good role models for it, crawling must seem like it’s for chumps! I hope he and Sara reconnect today—I would be very sad if that happened to me (even though I know it will, eventually. I am very clearly NOT the fun parent in our household. Oh, she’ll laugh for me, but only if DP isn’t there to be 10 times more hilarious).
Escher—I hold that hope for you and me both. I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch! Both Amandas appear to be doing well—we saw Ahope and family over MLK weekend, which was tons of fun—her kids are both awesome and really sweet together, which is nice to see.
Hi to everyone else!
And so are the boys!
Seraf - my kiddo skipped crawling. Well, never got competent at crawling and then started taking 2-3 unassisted steps at 8 months and toddled all over the house at 10 months. I feel like no matter what far end of the spectrum kids are, people try to make you feel bad about it. I remember a neighbor trying to convince me that crawling was important for brain development and he needed some kind of physical therapy since he skipped it.
Escher & Isa - I guess I should have mentioned that the baby names the teenager comes up with are joke ones. First he tried to convince us that Dwight (after the character on The Office) would be perfect. And then for a girl he found a baby name in one of our library books: Fontenot. Even joking, it is still great that he is talking about baby stuff. I suppose if he found one that we thought was cool we might use it? I would be surprised!
We had the big u/s today and it's a boy! We are going to be swimming in testosterone around here. As soon as she put the wand on my belly, the first thing we saw was his butt and the business. We couldn't get a good picture of his face because he was down on my cervix and had his hands in his face the whole time. It was pretty funny. They tried to get him to move by tilting the table so my feet were higher, but that didn't work and just made me really stuffy as I'm getting over a cold. We both really wanted a girl, but I don't feel disappointed at all. I'm not easily exciteable, but I feel excited and happy. This just makes everything seem more real. We have a lot to do to prepare because he's going to be here pretty soon. Neither one of us has much boy experience. DW is an only child and I have 3 sisters. My sisters each have a boy so I'm sure they can help. It's funny that I have 3 sisters and my Dad always wanted a boy and now he will have 4 grandsons. I think he really enjoys it. We texted our friends and family the news. One friend is a writer on Nashville and she is on set today. She wrote back that Connie Britton says "Congratulations." Baby's first brush with celebrity!
I think DW is feeling a little overwhelmed today. She didn't go to work after our appointment. She's trying to put together some IKEA furniture we got. Could just be nesting kicking up a notch.
QOTD-How would y'all feel about making the thread monthly or even bi-monthly?
escher: Our DD was a champ sleeper at night (6-7 hour stretches) from about 3 weeks - 7 months...then an hourly/1/2 hourly waker until 18 months. It's hard. But I bet it will change in the next few months. Hang in there!
Cananny: I agree it sounds like you have an awesome support network set up!
isa: The puzzle we got DD is here http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Layer-Puzzle-27-Pieces/dp/B001CL6U1O. She's already done it about 10 times and we just gave it to her last night...she loves it. And yes, we're definitely moving into DP's home - at least for a year or so. We just have to sell our place! The market has slowed down here after being so hot for so long but we're hoping it goes fast. We've done a ton of really nice upgrades/renovations and we're in a great neighbourhood with a fabulous view of the city and mountains. I'd love to be all settled in at least a couple of months before baby arrives.
Congrats on the boy, pokey! And good to hear he's healthy :)
Afm: Did I mention I'm in the 2nd trimester now! 13 weeks today!
Pokey!!!--welcome to the parents of boys club!! It's a great club to be in!
Carmen--welcome to the second trimester!!!
Sphinxy--welcome to Q&P!!!!!
Sleep, we were in the anything goes until 4 months club--and it all sorted itself out eventually. (Okay, honestly sleep was a nightmare for us for the first year or so with blessed and welcomed occasional interludes of longer stretches--but at 14 months DS started sleeping all night and it's been pretty awesome since. I think he would have slept through much earlier if we hadn't moved and been between homes and visiting relatives for well over a month around his first birthday).
afm--we are all SICK. DS fell asleep for the night at 4:45pm and we all feel like death warmed over. DW keeps having to call in sick--she was never sick before pregnancy--and the sick days will affect her maternity leave. Sigh.
Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!
Isa.. we will name them as they come out.. the 1st one will be Gage.. the 2nd one will be August and the 3rd one will be Finn.. Its kinda hard to name them in utero because they move around so much :)
Pokey I said it before.. but CONGRATS on the Boy... We def have a lot of boys around here.. and our trio will have lots of friends :) Baby B was like your guy,, for the longest time we only saw his but and his privates.. he was and still is the show off :)
Carmen.. YAY for 2nd trimester.. i was so excited to get there... each week really!!!! will you find out the sex? Good luck selling your house and moving :)
Isa.. I wish you were closer.. Heck I think we should ALL live in the Bay area... Can you imagine the fun the kids and us would have.. I am grateful for good help lined up!
Searaf.. Soren is just tooo cute!
Seraf--we were convinced that DS was going to skip crawling and go straight to walking. In the end, he crawled for maybe 2 months before walking (he was around 11 months old tho' when that happened). Soren is adorable!
Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!
Seraf, Soren is so cute!!! How have things been going? Has he reconnected with Sara yet? I hope so--that sounds hard!
Cananny, I'm glad you have good support and an awesome doula. I can't believe your DP can only take one week off work! How are you feeling about that?
Wishin, I hope you all feel better very soon!
Carmen, congrats on 13 weeks! It's a milestone for sure! :-)
Mrs. & Bigfoot, your teenager sounds hilarious! I love the name Galaxy! Glad he has a sense of humor about the whole thing!
Pokey, a monthly or bimonthly thread sounds fine to me. How are you feeling these days?
Hi to everyone else!
AFU, the latest update is that DP has still been training my mom to care for Wylie when DP goes back to work (Feb. 17th, so it's coming up now). It hasn't been going well. She is great with him as long as he is happy. She is not able to soothe him when his upset or put him to sleep because she physically cannot hold him & bounce/sway while standing. We are freaking out a little bit right now. Yesterday was a big reality check as DP stood back a lot more and watched as she tried to put him down for a nap, and it was hard. He's also been refusing a bottle these last couple weeks, which is super hard and frustrating. One day I even left work to go home and nurse him at lunchtime, which is not something I can normally do. We are thinking about having my mom do childcare for the first part of the day and finding a friend or other babysitter who can come around 1:00 and trade off with her. Of course we don't want to hurt her feelings, but this is our baby we're talking about! We had a good, frank discussion when I came home from work yesterday . . . but a solution is still up in the air.
Any advice on getting a baby to take a bottle, when you know they can (and have happily done so many times in the past)??? Is this a phase of rebellion or what?
Planet--no advice on a bottle, but our DS was pretty much only happy while awake (he had colic) if we were bouncing/rocking/swaying while holding him. After a few hours of that we HAD to sit...our solution was sitting on one of those big exercise balls (they have ones that are made not to roll) so we could sit and bounce as gently or vigorously as needed. Would that help your mom?
Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!
Hi planet! I'm feeling good these days. The second trimester is pretty nice. We've been rearranging our apartment and moving a lot of stuff, and I get tired but it's nothing like before. I've had a few aches here and there but now I feel good. How are you doing? How is it going being back at work?
Hi All! So much news!
pokey . . congrats on the boy, I think at least in the short term you will find that doing for a boy or girl are pretty much the same! I was worried about having a boy the first time but am over the moon with him (I know you just mean it's different and not that you didn't want a boy) but so far, it's all just love !
cananny. . so close!!! and yes, so glad you have folks around for help!
wishin. . hope you feel better soon
carmen. YAY for 2nd trimester!
planet. have you tried different bottles? also when they know there is no choice, they often change their minds. . I have friends who had good success from changing bottles. . or others who went straight to cups, even with little babies!
bigfoot. . love the names. . did I miss a post? does he know their are two yet or just giving boy and girl names in general. .
AFU. . had out anat scan this week and everything looked good. We are taking a last minute trip out to west texas this weekend to try to introduce DS to our KD's mom who is very sadly dying. They have not had a chance to meet yet. We thought she would be fine this weekend but has taken a drastic turn for the worse yesterday and is in ICU where they don't let kids. Hoping she gets a last minute rally and can meet him but if not we will still go to support our KD who is one of my dearest friends. If you can send some good vibes our way that would be good, though of course if it is in her best interest to leave now, we wish that for her. . so hard. .
Me (39) and DH (FTM 40) and DS 17 months old. TTC# 2 via KD
Hi Cordelia! I'm cool with having a boy. Little boys are so cuddly and sweet. I know it will be a challenge, but raising a girl would be challenging too. DW is a little nervous. It's kind of ironic because she's really into sports and has more male friends than I do, and she has a really easy time getting to know and talking with men. She'll be great but it's ok to be nervous. I'm so glad to hear everything looked great on the u/s! Are you letting the sex be a surprise? I'm sorry about KD's mom. I hope DS is able to meet her.
AFM--I started a new thread for Feb/March. I thought we would try the bi-monthly thing and see how it goes. If we want to go back to quarterly, at least we will be back on a quarterly schedule in April. http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1373580/queer-pregnant-and-parenting-february-and-march-2013
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