Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 912 Old 11-19-2012, 07:34 PM
 
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Max, I'm totally guessing, but it looks like a head/face on the left and ribs on the right. It's a pretty awesome picture if I'm looking at it right.

Lise, if you're comfortable talking about it, how are you going to get the babies home? Will you live in a hotel until they're all released from the hospital and OKed for travel? How many plane tickets will you need? Will you have a third adult travel with you?

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#122 of 912 Old 11-19-2012, 09:53 PM
 
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Planet, I'm now remembering the phase where Alex would wake to nurse at about 4 am, and would only fall back asleep on my chest. I also hated the way I had to hold my arms up, but I stayed in bed (I'd read too many warning against couch sleeping with a babe, thiugh we certainly had our share of well-propped up naps there). I stuffed pillows under each arm to keep my arms at chest level. I probably looked like I was a vampire sleeping in a well-padded coffin, but it was actually quite comfy. You do need enough space for pillows on either side if you though. If you get a bigger bed, and plan to co-sleep for awhile, I'd say skip right to a king! We haven't yet, but our queen is getting way too cozy for the three of us.

And ditto side lying nursing being rough until they get bigger. Those teeny heads just don't line up right at that size!

News in our land--one of Alex's (and Wylie's!) donor siblings has grandparents in Portland, and they drove up from CA for thanksgiving. It was a surprise for us; they texted just a couple days ago. We had dinner tonight, and the boys had a blast chasing each other around. M, their son, is almost two (in a month) and Alex is 15 months. They hadn't seen each other since July, before Alex could walk. It was so much fun to watch them tumble and race and get the hysterical giggles--they get along so well, alternating goofball play with big hugs. And, we found out they're expecting #2! Due in the spring. Planet--they visit PDX every Fourth of July--maybe you guys can meet up with us next summer?

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#123 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 03:18 AM
 
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Cascadia, what kind of swing did Alex like for his naps?  We put the swing that someone handed down to us in the basement.  Wylie just didn't seem to go for it, and when we got the Rock n Play we just didn't have space for everything in our apartment.  The Rock n Play is nice cuz it's like a deep cradle and keeps him pretty upright, and it rocks (although you have to keep rocking it, which is kinda too bad).  He sometimes will sleep in it and usually realizes we are trying to trick him and wakes up quickly.

 

Max, congratulations on the awesome connection with the birth family!  That is so spectacular. I'm happy for you guys! :)  We do use white noise from time to time.  Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't.

 

Desert, thank you for your kind words.  The sleep situation is truly frustrating, although not as frustrating as the insomnia...I thought I had finally beat it (again).  I had five nights of being able to sleep in a row, and now I am wide awake at 3am while baby & partner sleep peacefully in the other room.  I feel that I am going through a serious reality check/hormonal shift that is leaving me in quite a state.  I am doing my best to seek support from friends, do self care when I can, and remain present despite the difficulties.  It is hard.  Also, Ever is SO beautiful, and I love her feisty personality.  It sounds like she and Wylie would get along - if only we were closer and could introduce them!  Wylie is pretty chill most of the time, but is fierce when he needs to be.  And he has been making more and more noises, cooing and gurgling and smiling like crazy.  Way to melt my heart!!!

 

Seraf, I love the photo!  Your household is too fun.  :)  I just decided to cut out/cut down on dairy a few days ago, too.  Wylie was having lots of dramatic, fussy nursing sessions and seemed to be in pain after eating.  Do you know about how long one needs to be off dairy to know if it's made a difference?

 

PrettyIsa, thank you.  Wylie hates all swaddles - tight, loose, zippered, rolled, velcroed...I'm pretty sure we've tried it all, multiple times.  That's an interesting idea about talking to his ped about tummy sleeping.  I do think he would sleep better that way, but of course the thought of it makes me nervous - but you're right, most of us were put to sleep on our tummies as babies!  And thank you for sharing your experiences with co-sleeping.  Despite my dreams of us all tucked sweetly into bed together, I am starting to think my #1 preference (for now) would be Wylie sleeping right next to us in his Rock n Play (or some other tiny bed to his liking).  Nice and close to us, but with enough space so we don't wake each other up with every movement.

 

Do any of you know of a good baby swing that swings side to side rather than front to back?  We would like to try that.

 

Much love to all of you!


Queer parent on the adventure of a lifetime raising my sweet little guy, born at home in September 2012, with the love of my life by my side!
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#124 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 04:01 AM
 
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cascadia.  what a cool visit with the donor siblings. . 

 

max. . glad the visit went so well and how fun to have the sono pic. . 

 

planet. . I cut out dairy with DS when he was somewhere between 2-3 months olds and got a new baby. it took about three days for me but I hear it can take well over a week but I cut out EVERYTHING. . even read all labels for casein and whey etc. . but DS cried pretty much every moment he was awake. . and then suddenly it all stopped. . well, okay he still cried normally but not all the time he was not sleeping or eating. .from what I understand if a baby has a dairy issue cutting down usually does not help, you really need to eliminate it all.  But then again, if W's case is not as extreme, maybe cutting down helps and other folks can weigh in.  Either way good luck!!!  also my DS would sleep in a swing but only if I was vacuuming!  Only time my house was really clean!  

 

AFU.. back to Dr. in 9 more days. . feeling so anxious just want to know all is good in there!!!  


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#125 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 05:18 AM
 
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Cascadia, very cool about hanging with his dosie.

Planet, I'm not sure how long I was off dairy before Ari felt better. My ex was lactose intolerant so all our meals were dairy free, I only had dairy with snacks/at work. I'm now sure that I'm allergic to it. I can handle the butter oil in semi-sweet chocolate chips (I haven't been brave enough to try real butter) but anything else makes the boys have bloody poop. I also haven't been brave enough to let Shay have dairy since he ate a cookie with whey and wound up with mucosy diarrhea (can't see blood now that he eats solids). I guess I'm saying that our kids have other signs. Sara is about 4 days into a trial off dairy because Soren has had more blood and my diet has been clean. The hope is that even if we don't notice a difference when she takes a week off of it, we will see a more pronounced reaction when she reintroduces (at thanksgiving) so we will know.

Cordelia, how far along are you now? When did you feel movement with your first?

Over here, poor Soren has a fever.

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#126 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 05:21 AM
 
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Cascadia, that is really exciting about the donor sibling get together!  I will mention it to my partner; I think it sounds like so much fun!  It's hard to imagine a trip to Portland, but hopefully by then it won't seem so overwhelming.  We would love to meet you guys.  Also, I have totally slept with Wylie in the exact way you described!  It just won't work right now because of the bout of insomnia I am going through.  It's too much pressure for me to not be able to move, and I don't generally sleep comfortably on my back anyways.  DP is more comfy on the couch than the bed, sad for me but it's the only way we can get any sleep around here (except for me of course - 5 am and still awake, even after taking 2 rounds of my natural sleep aid stuff.  Tomorrow I am going to try the another kind that my acupuncturist recommended.  Please cross your fingers for me!!! I'm convinced that insomnia is the deepest depths of hell).

 

Cordelia, thank you, that is super helpful!  Fussy feedings have already seemed to get better in the last few days.  Hard to say if it's the lack of dairy or just a developmental thing.  We'll see!  I'll be crossing my fingers for good news from the doctor for you.


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#127 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 06:13 AM
 
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planet, have you tried skullcap tincture for your insomnia? I took it while pregnant with my DD because I had terrible insomnia - I was only getting about 2 hours of sleep a night (and this was before she was born!!). My midwife recommended it and it was amazing. I have since suggested it for other friends and the ones that tried it have said they get good results too. A natural herb/vitamin store should be able to make some up for you.


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#128 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 07:35 AM
 
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Seraf—Ha! I’m glad that Soren can finally defend himself! Edie hasn’t started hitting us yet (though she does have a terrible/terrific death grip, especially on our hair) but she hasn’t had anyone coming at her with paws flying, either. I hope the dairy cut-down is ok for Sara—she did that earlier for a little bit, too, right? That would be so, so hard for me.

Max—Our little girl is 7 months old as of Sunday. She’s a great kid! Easygoing and happy almost all the time, and now that she can sit up her games are getting to be much more fun. I think you left the conceptions board right before I started IVF… Also—the baby u/s is so cute! Head turned towards us, little forehead, eyes, nose, chin, and adorable little ribs! Oh, and a teeny fist! I used to make the ultrasound techs go over everything a million times so I could see it all—in my next life I’ll be a u/s tech and get to look at little babies all day long! I remember how taken I was with the pictures of Edies’ brain. It was a weird thing to find cute, but I was just so amazed that there she was, brain and everything! I’m so glad your meeting went well!

Desert—congrats on the costume contest! She was the cutest wink1.gif Also, when I’m hanging out with other babies the same age as ours it doesn’t bother me when they get feisty—I’m usually just relieved when it’s not mine doing the screaming. She’s so gorgeous! Is her hair growing in the same dark brown, or is it lightening up? It’d be awesome if it stayed so dark!

Cascadia—fun about the donor-sibling meetup! DP is unsure how she feels about donor sibs, so we’re keeping the one family that’s reached out to us a little at a distance until she sorts out her feelings more, but I’m relieved to hear other peoples’ stories of good interactions!

Planet—this swing: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4360510. you can turn it sideways, and it plugs into the wall. We ended up not getting one because our kid wasn’t a huge swing fan, but my cousin had it and it’s the best one out there, by far.

Here’s one of Edie’s 7 month pics! Our computer has been acting up, so I haven’t got more to post, but I’m going to work on it over the weekend, hopefully!


She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#129 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 08:18 AM
 
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I second that swing planet... Our last foster baby screamed for 9-10 hrs a day and this was what calmed her!!! We now have two for our triplets ... Don't have space for three of anything so we will rotate:)

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#130 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 08:48 AM
 
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seraf. . I am still pretty early about 10.5 weeks.  I didn't feel movements with my first until about 24 weeks I think, so not so early.  And hope soren feels better soon.  

 

planet. . glad feedings are already better.  For me too, i could never swear it was the dairy or just developmental stage but it was such a blessed blessed relief I was so scared to go back.  I was off it for about 6 months  

 

isa.  great pic of edie!! 

 

canannny. . def a good idea to rotate swings!  I don't even think we could fit two! 

 

carmen. . I am keeping note of skullcap tincture for later!! 


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#131 of 912 Old 11-20-2012, 10:19 PM
 
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Thanks for the warm welcomes. I'm so sad to share the news that I've had a miscarriage. I look forward to learning more about the experiences of folks on this list as my partner and I go through our grieving process and move forward.


me (34) and dp (39). After 18 months of IVI with a KD and 2 losses excitedly awaiting the arrival of a baby in October 2014! 

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#132 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 03:17 AM
 
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Lea, I'm sorry about your loss.

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#133 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 06:40 AM
 
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Oh, Lea. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Be gentle with yourselves. candle.gif

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#134 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 08:59 AM
 
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Lea so sorry to hear of your loss...

I wanted to thank everyone for the encouragement and advice as I make this transition to a SAHM .. Luckily I do have a great network of friends who are like family ...

I officially stop my older kids I nanny for part time ( been with them 3.5 yrs as full time then this yr part time ) in two weeks
I have to give notice Monday to the new family... Didn't want to ruin their thanksgiving since the entire family is in town...
It's hard to think about not working!

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#135 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 09:06 AM
 
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Lea, so sorry for your loss, def give yourselves the space and time to feel everything you need to feel and I do hope we will see you back here soon.  I don't even know if you want words of encouragement yet, I am sure you are still processing so forgive if this is wrong but both my good friend and SIL got pregnant right after their losses and carried healthy babies to term!  I def don't mean this takes away from the pain of this though.  Hugs. 


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#136 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 09:37 AM
 
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lea - I'm so sorry for your loss.  Lots of us have been there and we are here if you want to talk. Take good care of yourselves.  hug2.gif




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#137 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 01:57 PM
 
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Lea -- i'm so sorry.  i hope you and your DP can heal from this loss and come back to join us soon.


Ex-pat gal (40y.o.) in France and her Froggy wife (42y.o.).  Expecting a little (brussel) "sprout"  in Dec 2012 after a year of at-home inseminations and three medicated IUIs in Belgium.  

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#138 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 02:34 PM
 
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hi everyone.  for those of you who aren't on FB, i just got back home a few hours ago after spending the last two nights at our maternity hospital.  i woke up Monday and when i went to the bathroom and wiped, there was blood and a clot-like thing.  having not seen blood for nearly nine months, i got worried and had DP call the ER.  they said as long as i wasn't having contractions, it wasn't a big deal, so i told DP to go ahead and go to work.  i then talked to several friends online who said that i absolutely *should* go to the hospital, and soon after DP called to say she was coming back home because she thought we should go in.  once we got there and they hooked me up to all the monitors, we found out that i was indeed having contractions that were a minute and a half apart.  i guess that explains all the terrible back pain i'd been having for the last 5 days or so.  for some reason, i thought the tight feeling in my belly was the baby pressing outward really hard.  (yeah, i feel like a total idiot now.)  i had all kinds of monitoring done and my BP was high again, but as soon as they had me lie on my left side, it went down to normal.  my cervix seemed like it was rapidly dilating and effacing, and the midwives said the little boy was going to be born that night or the next day at the latest.   we were surprised, to say the least, but also excited.  DP was freaking out because we hadn't packed a bag yet, so she came home and threw way too much stuff together and came back.   in the meantime, i started having really strong painful contractions.   they put us in the one pre-delivery room that has a huge tub, so (of course) the contractions stopped and then my cervix yawned and decided she'd done enough for the day.  they then moved me up to one of the wards and told me they were keeping me for observation (and lots of monitoring.)  they kept me a second night to rule out a placental abruption.  it was not a very fun experience, but the midwives and nurses were absolutely lovely, and i felt like we were in very good hands.  

 

anyway, now i know what contractions feel like lol.gif.  i'm still getting them if i sit, walk or stand for too long, but i'm still hoping that i can hold off on meeting our little sprout until at least next Wednesday  (when i'll be at exactly 37 weeks).   the midwife said he might even wait until his due.  he's already proving to have a mind of his own, so i won't even try to guess at this point.  

 

i'm sooo happy to be home, though.


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#139 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 06:08 PM
 
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Lea- I am sorry for your loss. It's a tragedy.candle.gif

TTC#1 since Sept, 2009; in heartbeat.gif w DP, + two young dogs. Started adoption process May 2011. adoptionheart-1.gif  Baby boy born on June 18, 2013 and placed with us.babyboy.gif

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#140 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 06:10 PM
 
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NosReves- I am glad to hear your little scare turned out ok. Let's keep the little sprout in there just a bit longer! dust.gif

TTC#1 since Sept, 2009; in heartbeat.gif w DP, + two young dogs. Started adoption process May 2011. adoptionheart-1.gif  Baby boy born on June 18, 2013 and placed with us.babyboy.gif

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#141 of 912 Old 11-21-2012, 06:14 PM
 
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Lea - I am so very sorry. candle.gif

 

Nos - What an adventure - I hope you are able to rest and sleep with all that activity. It is so achy those last days (and weeks?). Thinking of you - take care. We can't wait to meet your little one - when he is good and ready ! :)


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#142 of 912 Old 11-22-2012, 08:35 AM
 
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Lea, I am so sorry for your loss.  Sending warmth and strength your way. xoxo

 

Nosreves, you have really been through it!!!  What an experience.  I am so glad you got to go home.  I am thinking of you.  Keep us posted!  So exciting that your tiny sweet one will be here soon!  Hang in there. xoxo


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#143 of 912 Old 11-22-2012, 08:55 AM
 
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Seraf, I hope Soren is feeling better!  Thank you for sharing your experiences with the dairy.  You are always so helpful, I appreciate it!!!  I guess dairy intolerance is pretty common for babies then?  Sounds like going off dairy is something many of us have or are experimenting with!

 

Carmen, thank you for the suggestion of skullcap.  I will definitely keep it in mind if I need to try more things (but I hope I won't need to!!!). 

 

Isa, thank you for the recommendation of the swing.  I will see if I can find one on craigslist. 

 

Cananny, good luck on Monday giving your notice.  I know it is a hard thing for you!  I'm sure they will be so excited for you and will understand.  Will be thinking of you!

 

Right now I am really happy because I have had two excellent nights of sleep in a row!  I've started taking this stuff called Kavinace that my ND and acupuncturist both recommended.  It is expensive but so far it has been amazing!  I don't want to get TOO excited, since it has only been two days, but I am definitely feeling more hopeful (and rested).  Right now we have just been doing what's easiest for Wylie so we can focus on me breaking through the insomnia.  Once I have had a week of no insomnia, we are going to start trying to get Wylie to sleep next to us in bed again. We need to strategize and decide what we are to try (Rock n Play next to bed?  Propped up on his side with pillows?  On his back next to my partner?  , but we want to pick one method and stick with it for at least a week.  We are going to be SO tired for that week.  I'll keep y'all posted.  Thanks for the support!!!!  In other news, Wylie is currently fast asleep in the Rock n Play and has been for 23 whole minutes!  :-) Love to all of you, and happy Thanksgiving for those of you who observe. xoxo


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#144 of 912 Old 11-23-2012, 02:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by prettyisa View Post

Seraf—Ha! I’m glad that Soren can finally defend himself! Edie hasn’t started hitting us yet (though she does have a terrible/terrific death grip, especially on our hair) but she hasn’t had anyone coming at her with paws flying, either. I hope the dairy cut-down is ok for Sara—she did that earlier for a little bit, too, right? That would be so, so hard for me.

Soren smacks a lot. He mostly does it to splash in the bath. Shay was really into the same arm motion when Soren was born, so I figured it was the age. Interesting that Edie doesn't.

Sara went off dairy once, before I went off wheat. Since he is still having issues, she decided to try that one again. He has been sick, so we can't tell much. She reintroduced dairy and he had more blood, so she is going off it again for at least another week to see if it is coincidence.
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seraf. . I am still pretty early about 10.5 weeks.  I didn't feel movements with my first until about 24 weeks I think, so not so early.  And hope soren feels better soon.  

Thanks. He is totally thrown off and not feeling great. It's interesting how we all feel movement at different times.
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Originally Posted by Cananny View Post

I have to give notice Monday to the new family... Didn't want to ruin their thanksgiving since the entire family is in town...
It's hard to think about not working!

Wow, good luck.
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i'm sooo happy to be home, though.

Yay for home! How are you feeling? Still contracting?

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Originally Posted by planet View Post

Seraf, I hope Soren is feeling better!  Thank you for sharing your experiences with the dairy.  You are always so helpful, I appreciate it!!!  I guess dairy intolerance is pretty common for babies then?  Sounds like going off dairy is something many of us have or are experimenting with!

I think dairy doesn't agree with a lot of people, but because we stay on it all the time we don't notice. I have heard that most people don't produce lactase after age 5, it kind of makes sense to me that we didn't evolve to eat dairy like we do (the same can be said about a lot of what we eat, really). I think little problems beat starvation, so our ancestors ate it, but we have the luxury of plentiful food to be able to notice little things that don't sit quite right. I hope he sleeps better soon!

Thanksgiving leftover picture.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
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#145 of 912 Old 11-26-2012, 07:29 AM
 
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Hello ladies,

No time for personals..but here are some pics of Layla's 1st birthday

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Me (29)  in heartbeat.gif with DW (40) 
DD (12) and DS our special needs baby (4) placed 03-01-10
Our furbaby dog2.gif Bella (Yorkie) 
 

Layla Janae 11/22/11 

 

ds2(8mos)placed 08-o3-2012
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#146 of 912 Old 11-26-2012, 07:35 AM
 
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Here are some pics of Layla's bday parties.

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We will back for personals soon! sleepytime.gif


Me (29)  in heartbeat.gif with DW (40) 
DD (12) and DS our special needs baby (4) placed 03-01-10
Our furbaby dog2.gif Bella (Yorkie) 
 

Layla Janae 11/22/11 

 

ds2(8mos)placed 08-o3-2012
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#147 of 912 Old 11-26-2012, 09:44 AM
 
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Mami--she's so beautiful in that dress! I hope the parties were fun!

Planet--glad you're getting some rest! And I think a weeklong trial is a good idea, though I don't envy you the lack of sleep it'll take to get through it.

Cananny--how did it go? I hope they're understanding. But honestly, they have kids--they must be able to realize what triplets would be like and have some empathy, I hope!

Nos--so scary! How are you feeling now? I hope your little sprout is safe and sound and staying put for a while!

Seraf--she does that slapping motion, but usually only on water, or with something in her hand to bang. She doesn't tend to hit us--more grabbing. Grabbing our noses, lips, whatever she can get. I also try to discourage the smacking or hard grabbing, since it hurts, and she either understands what I'm saying or is easily distracted. I have no idea which, but since she stops, I don't care too much.

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#148 of 912 Old 11-26-2012, 11:28 AM
 
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Mami.. Layla is beautiful.. Happy 1st birthday.. Hard to believe she is a year old....

 Planet.. I hope the sleeping is getting better for you .. and good luck with Wylie sleeping as well~  We love the rock and play!

 

 

So I told ,the bosses... it went well.. I was a bit emotional.. but they were very sweet and understanding.. and were not mad... PHEW.. I am soooo glad that is over with

 

 

Had our 20 week Anantomy scan and def still having 3 boys...

 

The scan showed Baby B has only one vessel in his umbilical cord instead of two. the radiologist said it raises his chances slightly for heart problems.. but the perinatologist will go over the test and talk to us.. My apt is not until Friday.. Yeah try not to stress... right!!! So i just hope and pray he is ok.. His heart has all working chambers and she saw no issues.. and said its common esp with multiples..

I spent most of the past holiday weekend laying in bed.. it is getting very hard to do much these days! I get really tired and winded easily.. the boys are starting to move around a bit more now... We are 21 weeks.. time is moving along here~


Loving life with our triplet boys born Feb 24th 2013 at 34 weeks biggrinbounce.gif

 

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#149 of 912 Old 11-26-2012, 01:23 PM
 
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Mami, before seeing your pictures I didn't realize how close Layla and Elmo's song are. Layla la Layla Layla la Layla, Elmo's world. Kidding, mostly. She's super cute. That dress is great.

Isa, Soren doesn't smack at us, but if Shay's right in his face smacking, it comforts me to know that Soren can smack back.

Ca, I'm glad giving notice went well. I've known a few kids who were born short an umbilical artery and are just fine. Good luck not worrying.

Soren was sick and cranky on our trip. Now he is all better.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
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#150 of 912 Old 11-28-2012, 07:56 AM
 
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Here's a question for everyone.  Has anyone noticed a drastic change in ability to remember things or their ability to stay on top of things since the birth of their LO?  I have found that I forget EVERYTHING now and DSp is just so frustrated with me and always has to get on me about getting things done.  I just feel so disheveled inside ALL the time!


Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married rainbow1284.gif May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD babygirl.gif (L-4). dog2.gif Billa,  dog2.gif Hurley, dog2.gif Spitfire (Leroy) and cat.gif Nollie too!
* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * * 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * belly.gif * 36 * !38! * 40 - stork-boy.gifstork-boy.gif EDD 9.5.13

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