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Queer Conceptions: February 2013

13K views 318 replies 33 participants last post by  escher 
#1 ·
Welcome to February!!
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It's time to make some late Fall babies!

PLEASE PUT YOUR UPDATES IN BOLD!


GRADUATES, please click here to visit a thread for sharing the method that got your BFP.

Waiting to O
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*fillefantome
*samy23
*SunandEr

*DarcySD

*SanDiego78

*Lovingisliving

*fmorris28chartnew.gif

*TillyBarry

*sotohana

*lea2012

*lizbian

*escher

Waiting to Know... Braving the 2WW
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*KWPX2

*Twomommyfamilychartnew.gif

*Friederike

*JustAnotherJenny

Taking a Break/Figuring Things Out/Waiting to be Ready
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*scorpioma chartnew.gif

*merstone

*kgulbransen
*hoping2bmoms
*nemplsgirl
*invitnconceptn
*MonkCP
*lovestreet13
*HeatherandKim
*mandalin79
*Photo Girl
*2justicemamas
*twinkleeyes
*justrose13 & JenMostOften
*MrsPP
*wannabmomkt
*rs11
*Amt1015
*darthtunaqueen
*TineyDreams
*Gellybeangrl

2013 Graduates!
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January * esenbee2
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* LindseyW
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* Sphinxy
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February *granite
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2012 Graduates!
December * joyseattle * mrsandmrs & bigfoot

October * cordelia15 * pokeyAC * easttowest * erinTNgirl * outdoorsy
September * Wishin'&hopin' * lisedea * Tandy401
August * thenewzero * KnittingTigers * TaraL
July * Cananny
May * mtnlisa
April * nosreves
March * SkyandTru * JuneBug
February * MidwifeStephPDX * SouthernBelle24
January * Planet * Dandylez

2011 Graduates!
December * DesertSunsets
November * Aljm41910
October * Vienna79 * KSDoulaMama * Pleasantlyfurious * SwtRainbowBrite * Go_Vegan
September * Smilingsara * Ad Astra * Mumquest
August * Prettyisa
July * Onemommyonemama * Southern Fried Karma
June * CrystalPerez * Qmama42
May * KellySF
April * want2bmumx2 * Indigoscot & DP
March * Graceie * Seraf * 2ezforyou * Mommy55
February * Escher 10/24/11 * SharriKitColorado * DAWNMP1
January * Starling&diesel 10/2/11

2010 Graduates!
November * Mizyellow 7/25/11 * AmyPDX 7/30/11 * AmandaHope 8/3/11 * Cejae 7/4/11
September * Solejean 5/19/11 * Painefaria 6/5/11
August * Bttrflygypsy 4/10/11 * 2happymamas 4/15/11 * LibraryLady 4/15/11
July * Beastie 3/21/11 * Gumshoegirl007 4/2/11 * Wehrli 4/1/11
June * Coco & DP 2/14/11
May * Burg 2/4/11 * Korey 2/1/11
April * Calimeow * Mtnlisa * Kimlyn32
February * Mistral * Quasar & smartycat * Monarchgrrl * Erthe_mama & DP
January * Lyndzies * FtMpapa

2009 Graduates!
December* Osker * Megan sacha * Mkpgoddess
October * JJNoho * Mommies 2 Be * Megincl & Ktcl
September * Elismum1908 * KSDoulaMama * Pleasantlyfurious
August * Chicagoml * Wishin'&hopin'
July * Hbog
May * Indigoscot's dp
April * Kelmendi * KJM * Whoabethy * Carmen
March * Scalpel * Katwomyn4
February * Deny_zoo29
January * Jodybird511
 
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#127 ·
granite yeah the light's completely different. Luckily it's a nice day here today & I'm feeling a bit better. Took a couple of aspirin & it's sorted me right out so will stop now I think! Probably going to move back to Oz after we've finished baby making however long that takes!
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fmorris overtime sucks - I know what you mean about babies. I know of 3 born last week then was doing a job Sat night & there were 3 women all due within 3 weeks of each other! Haven't told any of them we're trying so hoping it won't be too long. My friends are all great about us TTC as they think we'll make great mums. I've just told 1 of my friends about the weekend & she (and hubby) sent us a good luck message which was very sweet!

KWPX2 & Darthtunaqueen thanks for the info ladies! Just had 2 aspirin in the end, that's all I needed so happy days. Interestingly I know of a girl who died from an accidental overdose of paracetamol - not nice as there was nothing they could do about it once they realised.
 
#129 ·
Darth you're absolutely correct that the max recommended dose is 4G. I got that 10G reference from a toxicologist/MD when I used to work with the liver transplant program. At 10g or 200mg/kg body weight (this came from a reference book) you will without a doubt be damaging your liver. I didn't want you to think I just pulled the number out of nowhere. Certainly I don't recommend taking more than the recommended dose, just offering what information I know. Thank you for helping me make it more clear.
 
#130 ·
Hi Everyone,

Friederike: I'm sorry about your bfn.
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Fmorris: My wife has been using the monitor in the morning plus one or two other opks a day. I do think next cycle we'll try to make sure that she is doing at least two opks in addition to the monitor. Our RE says to test just once a day, but that seems like it might not be the best choice. On the other hand, if we had tested just once a day last cycle, we wouldn't have gotten the one positive opk that showed up mid-day, so we wouldn't have insemmed too early. It's hard to know what is best, but at the moment more testing seems better than less testing.

Lizbian: Congratulations on your insems! I'm so sorry that you got sick. I'm glad that you're feeling somewhat better!

Twomommyfamily: I'm sorry about AF's arrival. That's a tough question about waiting for the genetic testing. If you love your donor, it seems worth waiting to me, but if you don't really care then it seems like you might as well choose someone else.

Granite: Is today insem day? Good luck!

Lea: It's smart that you've been continuing your opks after the initial surge. Fingers crossed that this is the cycle for you and that you don't have to figure out travel plans with your KD!

Hi to everyone else! Anyone have exciting Valentine's plans? Anyone stuck in the snow in New England?

AFM: I think we're about 9dpo now (and 19 dpiui
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), so probably just a few more days until we get to start the next cycle!
 
#132 ·
Friederike: sorry about your BFN. If I try again this month, we will again be lined up- feb 24th or so. Lets both try for perfect timing this time!

Lizbian: congrats on your insems! But what terrible timing to get sick! I hope you're feeling better!

Twomummies: right now I don't think that anyone active on the board has tried IVF yet. But I could be wrong. I think there are some IVF success stories who have moved over to queer pregnant and parenting though. I truly hope this March IVF is successful for you!

KWPX: thanks for the support for my first BFN. Onward and upward, right? I'm glad the side effects of letrozole have subsided. Can you possibly tell me what is the benefit of using letrozole over clomid? Why did your doctor choose one over the other? Just curious because I may have medicated cycles in my near future and letrozole was never discussed, only clomid.

Lea: my AF started weird after progesterone. One day of light spotting while still using progesterone then when I stopped progesterone I still only had what seemed like heavy off and on spotting until yesterday. Odd. Without progesterone I have never had spotting.

Afm, DP and I are seriously considering a whole different approach this cycle. Different donor (we figure we should pick a backup anyhow, thanks for the suggestion Lea) and an at home IVI. Just take a break from Kaiser all together until we do the genetic testing (which isn't scheduled till March 5th, an eternity from now) to see if I'm a carrier for the same genetic condition as our first choice donor. That's what we are thinking at the moment... Better dust off my bbt thermometer and try to remember my password for fertility friend...
 
#133 ·
lea2012 - Glad you had a better experience with the shipping this time! When I took progesterone last cycle my period didn't come until I stopped taking the progesterone. I stopped taking the progesterone, spotted for two days and then got my period. I hope you get sunny days soon.

pokey - Thanks! I am actually noticing an increase in cervical mucus and also getting it a lot earlier in my cycle than I normally do.

SanDiego - Glad everything is good to go!

granite - sorry you were having trouble sleeping with clomid. I was fine until the last night I was taking it where I had trouble getting back to sleep after DW accidentally woke me up! 18mm! What a great sized follie - so excited for you! How did everything go today?

sotohana - glad you dropped in to say hello!

fmorris - So glad to hear your mother in coming around! Is there anything you can pinpoint that caused the change? I have been struggling with my parents since 2009. Maybe I just need to give it more time..

friederike - so sorry about the bfn.
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Glad your next insem will be coming up shortly!!

lizbian - Glad your insems went well! If DW starts trying later this year we will be doing home insems and I can just imagine all of the funny stuff that will be going on. That's terrible about feeling so ill. I hope you are feeling better soon!

twomommy - wow that is a lot going on! I hate that kaiser is closed on Sunday and it always freaks me out that will be the day I should be inseminating. I hope something shifts a little this month so that it doesn't end up on that day. Any news from the genetics person at kaiser? I am so impatient that I would probably inseminate with an alternate donor so I don't miss the month. But that is just me. I know DW would just tell me to wait. Edit - just read that you might be trying an alternate route. That is really exciting and I can't wait to hear what you decide to do.

KWPX2 - Glad your symptoms have lessened. Lots of luck to you this Wednesday!!

escher - I am jealous of all the snow you got!! I used to live on the east coast and I miss it terribly. I just love the cold, snowy weather! FWIW when I am using OPKs to monitor I test 3 times a day during the peak days. I am always afraid I am going to miss it!

AFM - US at 9am tomorrow to check follicles. I have a feeling I either already ovulated or that my follies will be too tiny to trigger. My temps have been really high so just going by them it appears that I ovulated. I guess I will find out tomorrow!

Good luck to anyone I missed in the TWW!
 
#134 ·
Just popping by to say I think of you all often and I'm rooting for you! I would love some more company from you soon over in QP&P.
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Best of luck to everyone waiting, inseminating, and mentally preparing!
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Twomommy - At first I was really invested in the idea of IUIs at the midwife's office and was kind of forced into the at-home route for our second cycle trying because of hurricane Sandy (couldn't get to the office!). But I was happy to discover that it was actually really empowering and comfortable, and from my perspective it actually made the timing easier because we didn't have to coordinate with anyone else's schedule. So good luck, you can do it, I think it's a great option to try! Also, I might suggest trying to picking a donor with both raw and washed vials available, so that you can use raw at home (helps the sperm live longer in an IVI setting) and then have the washed IUI-ready samples available for your back-up donor position if you do decide to go back to the clinic in a future cycle.
 
#135 ·
Hey there Sphinxy! Thanks for the message! I hope pregnancy is treating you well! Yes, if we go the IVI route we will most definitely be purchasing the unwashed "ICI" vial. The RE said we can also buy the unwashed for IUI because they will wash it in their office. I'm kind of looking forward to the general intimacy and timing flexibility of an at home insem. But I think pinpointing the timing is going to be difficult! Were you checking cervical position or just opk/cm?

To anyone doing at home IVI: do you use preseed or anything else to help to make it sort of ph hospitable for sperm? I don't get tons of ewcm... Also anyone using instead soft cups?
 
#136 ·
Amanda that is a lot to spend before getting some government assistance but you're lucky to get anything. The island I live on don't offer IVF or IUI and also don't give any assistance when we have to travel off island to do it so every little bit helps.

Friederike sorry to hear about BFN but glad it won't be long to wait for next time and FX for you there xx

Escher exciting - good luck with it

twomommys what a great idea. You can also do multiple inseminations more easily at home and it can be any time of the day or night. I think that sounds like a really good plan and glad you're trying to think of alternative ways to do this.
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Darcy good luck with the U/S

Sphinxy hey there- hope it's all going well for you!!!!! Nice to see you on here.
 
#137 ·
Hey Sphinxy, nice that you're dropping in. We're all doing our best to follow you soon
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It gives me hope that it only took you 4 tries. For some strange reason, I have often had a feeling that 4 times would be our lucky one too.

Twomommy - I get the exact same weird spotting you are describing!

Usually my AF starts pretty quickly but with the extra dose of progesterone the body has to work extra hard to get things going. Which makes sense, since usually the corpus luteum declines slowly if no implantation took place but with the meds you stay at an even level. For me the meds also mean extra painful periods which unfortunately make me need tons of ibuprofen. I was up for 3 hours last night because it was so bad. I guess the longer the LP the thicker the endometrium and there is also the psychological pain of getting AF together with the physical one.

About your IVI question - I am not using any products to make it more hospitable. I do use arousal though, since I read that it changes the structure of CM to make it easier for sperm to swim into the cervix. The whole process of inseminating oneself is the most unsexy thing I can think of - but mind over matter...

The soft cups, I wouldn't use those for frozen, they are big. I would be afraid of more sperm clinging to its surface that getting to where it is needed.For fresh insems where the overall amount is bigger, I would think they would be great to prevent leakage though.

Lizbian - did you use one straw for each of your multiple insems last time? How did that work? I thought about spreading them out a bit instead of using several at the same time, but I wonder if it might be more complicated with so little liquid as the syringe would only be half-full. What are you using to empty the straw into? I am using a small Ikea snaps glas
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Darcy - good luck today. I really hoper neither of the two options come true, but that you have a nice big folly that is ready to pop.

Escher - when are you testing? So close!
 
#138 ·
granite I think the different light in Oz could be down to our lack of ozone
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twomommy I also agree with Friederike on the soft cup things with frozen swimmers - there is little enough as it is! We went to use the speculum but it was too big to easily get the syringe far enough up as we needed so ditched the idea. After a couple of wrong turns DW finally found the right route to take - you'd think she'd know by now!!!!

Friederike I feel for you with painful periods. I spent my weekend trying not too cough too much so the little swimmers weren't flown backwards on a tidal wave of coughing spasm. For the first try we decided to space out so we had the longest period with some sperm alive. Obviously the question is whether .5 mls (which is in reality only about .4) is enough to actually get fertile but hopefully we overlapped enough so there was a bit more hanging around. We used a little plastic cup tipped very carefully on its side. DW did a fab job sucking it all up in the syringe which obviously only had to be half full but then there was no air as we just pulled the trigger as far back as needed. There was a little spillage after insem but hopefully less than if we used more. Who knows if it worked, I have very strong doubts but I think we'll probably try the same method next time!

AFM quite happy as I was supposed to give a 2 hour presentation tonight which wasn't going to be easy as I can't talk without coughing. Luckily my boss took one look at me and sent me home so I can sit & write my lesbian short story. Yay!!!!

good luck to everyone insemming this week - granite how did it go? thinking of you!!! x
 
#139 ·
Sigh. I think you might as well move me to taking a break since our RE wants us to take the next cycle off to do some monitoring. Our RE is absolutely convinced that any ovulation after CD15 is too late for TTC, and that the only solution is medication. Does anyone have any evidence to support or refute her ideas? Thanks.
 
#140 ·
Escher, I don't know of any scientific studies or evidence offhand to prove that later ovulation is okay, but I do know that my wife routinely ovulates on cd 17/18, and our daughter was conceived on a cd 18 ovulation. And I think she's perfect!
I think if your DW's LP is long enough, that a later ovulation would be acceptable, within reason.
I'm sorry your RE is so adamant about this! Good luck.
 
#141 ·
Twomommy regarding letrozole vs Clomid...According to the RE it is "easier" on women of advanced maternal age. I took this to mean easier on the estrogen system. Letrozole inhibits an enzyme called aromatase which interferes with the production of estrogen temporarily whereas Clomid blocks estrogen receptors. The effects of Clomid last longer in terms of estrogen inhibition. Also I have PCOS. Letrozole has been shown to be more effective in some cases for women with PCOS. I hope this helps.
 
#142 ·
escher - I've never heard or read anything about problems with TTC on a late ovulation. I got pregnant with an ovulation on CD20.

twomommy - we didn't use any extra substances to help our swimmers, just an orgasm right before and right after. I completely agree with friederike - it's not sexy but if you can relax enough I think it's worth trying. (Depending on your body and preferences you might want to just opt for a quickie with a vibrator, externally only) No cups, the sperm will stick to it and you don't have enough in those vials to waste any. The sperm bank will likely send instructions for thawing and using the syringe, but of course we're here for you, too. I can try to see if I still have my bank's instructions if you'd like to take a look in advance.
 
#143 ·
twomommy -for the last two insems we did, the first time around, I used the Instead cups, but I felt like I might be keeping swimmers out, so for when we decided to start back up, I ditched the Instead cup plan. We used a speculum for the cycle we got our BFP (and the time before that). If you use a speculum, be sure to not let it snap shut when removing it. Either gently release the lock, or pull it out the release it one notch, pull out some more, release a little more, pull out some more, etc. It will really hurt if it snaps shut! DSp wasn't all that graceful when removing it from me. OUCH!

escher - I ovulated CD 16/17 overnight/early morning with my BFP. W/ DD I also ovulated CD16. The more important thing is have a long enough luteal phase. There isn't any kind of concern over a long follicular phase.
 
#144 ·
escher really sorry to hear that but I guess it's better than wasting money if there's no chance conceiving if that's what she thinks. I haven't heard anything about ovulating after CD15 as Desertsunsets says, I guess it depends on the length of the LP x

friederike I agree very unsexy, esp when you're both sick and man those swimmers are STINKY! I've never let any get that close to be before and now I realise there's a very good reason for that.
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sphinxy OMG orgasm before AND after? you're a machine, I couldn't handle that with 3 insems so close together, I think something might have fallen off!!!!!

esenbee ouch that would have hurt.
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#145 ·
twomommy - A quick note about ewcm. Not sure if this is scientifically-founded, but I was worried about having less ewcm than usual this cycle and did a little reading about it and found a site that emphasized the importance of staying hydrated and also suggested consuming flax oil. After reading that I realized that in a high-stress work week I had been much worse than usual that week about drinking water and had also fallen out of my regular habit of starting days with ground flax seed added to my breakfast (I add it to lots of things: smoothies, yogurt, cereal). So, I drank a bunch of water and ate some yogurt with ground flax, and within 10 hours or so my cm was much improved. Maybe the CM would have been better by then anyway, but I think the logic is sound - I've even heard people recommend high doses of flax the last two weeks before a baby is due to aid with delivery. For me it fell into the category of it won't harm me in any way, so why not try it?
 
#147 ·
I am both laughing and enjoying the past couple of posts! This is such a sex/conception strategy positive bunch. Do you suppose in the "non-queer" conception area they give as much excellent and helpful information?

Sphinxy you and your partner as such champs being able to relax enough with the home insem to have an orgasm pre and post!

Esenbee - I wish all who wielded a speculum had your consideration for the exit strategy.

Escher Do you feel like your RE's personal beliefs (right or wrong) are trumping knowledge? It does seem like sometimes Docs can get some myth in their heads or turn some folk tale told to them by a mentor back in their learning days into personal mantra but perhaps he/she isn't explaining their concern well. For instance, could it be a short LP they are concerned about but instead remarked about late O? How long is the LP? Good luck finding evidence to support or refute. I get the sense you're not 100% confident in the RE. Am I misreading that?

Liz, Friederike I cannot tell you how relieved we are by doing the insems at the MD's office. We would stress about when, how much, technique etc. Now to hear more about the ickiness of swimmers just cements our decision!

AFM I was scheduled for a pre-trigger US tomorrow but I woke (CD 11) to more watery CM today and noted that I usually O on CD 13. I was afraid if we waited for the US tomorrow evening we would miss an opportunity to trigger prior to O. So I called and got in today for my US. Evidently the large number of follies I was growing a couple days ago has dwindled to 3 (she suggested some may have over-ripened and dissolved or some may have been small cysts). I am scheduled to trigger at 4 am tomorrow with a Valentines Day insem. (I told the RE we would bring chocolate) She also suggested since I had a large number of eggs developing at different times and now closer to O have so few that if we don't get pregnant this round we might use estradiol in the luteal phase to help synchronize egg development for the next cycle. Anyone have experience here or know anyone who has done this? Oddly my RE also has a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree (no jokes here) and the first studies that pop up when I google "luteal estradiol follicle synchronization" have to do with artificial insemination and embryo transfer in cattle!! Should I be offended yet? My dad is a retired veterinarian....he gets a kick out of this.
 
#148 ·
lea I've also heard that about the CM and it makes sense, think that having a cold etc affects all sorts of M but have to admit to never having monitored it before.

Darcy awesome news, good luck!

KWPX2 Who knows but I can honestly say I'm not nearly as keen to hear about 'non queer' methods of conception!!!!! So many jokes so little time and funny your dad would get a 'kick' out it. Good luck for the V day insem. That's when I was predicting but a bit earlier as it turns out, looking forward to being on the TWW with you & Darcy
 
#149 ·
Two mommy- we used an instead cup for our at home iCI. My Mom says that she accidentally got pregnant with my older bro because she didn't know how anything worked and when she realized ahe forgot her bc, she put her diaphragm in after sex. She's been telling women ever since to try that route b/c it helped her get pregnant.
Also, there was a great article on genetic testing in this month's issue of Oprah Magazine. I think you might find it interesting.
 
#150 ·
Lizbian, boy does overtime suck. lol You never realise just how many people are pregnant until you start reaalllyyy wanting one of your own! Glad your friends are in great spirits with you two TTC. Hope it happnes quickly.

Escher, Its pretty crazy how that surge is. I wish I would have done more testing and tracking last cycle because now that I've gotten "seasoned" at this I understand that mye timing was all off and was way too soon bc I've learned I O normally around CD17 (at the earliest)-CD20 (at the latest) and we insem'd both cycles around CD14 and CD15..mye little egg was still hanging out in the ovary until the swimmers had come and gone. #whati'velearnedTTC. Hopefully you'll get better timing with the next cycle with extra tests. I wonder y your RE said that ovulation after CD15 is too late? What about those with longer cycles who will never O before CD15? Hmm?

Twomommy, glad you two have a new game plan that you're good with! its always exciting when you switch things up. welcome back to temping and charting :)

Darcy, Thank you much! I think the major changing point that set everything in motion was when DP actually called mum for meeh. She used mye phone and told her she know she might not like her, but she loves meeh and hates to see meeh upset about the relationship (well lack thereof at that time) with her. I was at the point where i couldnt talk about her without crying! So she said she'd just like if she would talk to meeh because I really miss her..and surprisingly it worked. I went over that day and really told her how I feel, about how I've always wished I could have her there for support. Told her anytime any girl ever hurt mye feelings I was never able to come to her, and I think that made an impact too. I just wanted her to respect meeh as well as mye relationship and be there for meeh as her daughter. Don't give up hope though, I honestly thought at one point that we would NEVER get to where we are. They even speak almost on a friendly level when they are around. FX for you. So glad that the clomid worked for you! It did well for meeh, but again, I learned mye timing was wayy off! GL!

AFM, well not a lot to report, been trying to pinpoint mye O date. Had a near positive yesterday so I figured if I woke up during the night I'd test. Used the wondfo and looked pretty positive, so later this morning I thought I'd try with the digital. Saw the smiley, so the sharp pains in mye left ovary was definately O pains. Looks like CD20...same as last month oddly enough :) I can't wait to get back in the saddle bc I have high hopes for our next cycle.
 
#151 ·
Hi everyone - I am in a bit of a panic and could use your help. I also posted this in queer preg/parenting.

Because I was curious, I used an OPK this afternoon and it was a strong positive. Would you try to move up the insem to tomorrow instead of Thursday? My RE is going to think I am crazy but does it make sense to trigger if I am already about to ovulate? I already left a message with RE but I am not sure I will hear back so late in the day. Thanks so much for any advice or btdt.
 
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