Queer, Pregnant, & Parenting - April, May & June 2013! - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-12-2013, 11:12 AM
 
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esenbee - i think with the bathroom discussion, it would be most useful to explain that people use the bathroom that feels best (safest, most comfortable, etc) to them. later on down the road, your trans spouse may feel like using the men's room, or your DD might see people she reads as the "wrong" gender in the ladies' room. knowing that they are using the bathroom that feels best to them would help her make sense of that. 

 

escher, how's that pregnancy going? i forget if you have an US scheduled, and how soon?
 

sphinxy, that sounds like one crazy summer. 2013 is shaping up to be really intense, eh? your DW's research opportunities sound so exciting! 

 

 

 

two coworkers have told me this morning "wow, you have really popped!" and asked to feel my belly. this whole process is hilarious. 


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Old 04-12-2013, 12:19 PM
 
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Bigfoot, what kind of cookbook?

Isa, awesome walking.

Escher, our couch is pretty low.

S&B, I don't know how to explain that one. My oldest usually uses the women's room still. Now that he has short hair, he should probably switch. Yay for lots of movement.

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Old 04-12-2013, 04:53 PM
 
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Hi everyone....greetings from Japan!

I have been sick with a noro virus thingy for a few days but am feeling a bit better today so am getting back on a bullet train to Tokyo. Had some IV fluids and a quick u/s to make sure baby is ok and slept for 2 days. Not fun but baby is healthy so I'm feeling ok. Baby is kicking up a storm and SUPER active...which is great fun. I have to admit that I wish I was home....I'm having fun but between being sick and being just about 6 months pregnant this wasn't great timing for a trip alone so far from home. Trying to make the best of it!

SanDiego, I'm sorry your u/s was troubling. 6w4d can be early but I would be cautious as well. I truly hope that everything is fine, please keep us updated.

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Old 04-12-2013, 08:28 PM
 
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knitting. . that sucks about the tax refund. . I hope you still find a cheap one on CL and I can't believe you are cooking those babies so long!  It's wonderful though I imagine you are quite ready to have them out

 

seraf. . that is cool about that heads.  I knew of course that the bones moved but didn't know that it could be to such a different extent for different babies.  That gives me so much hope.  Last time just sucked so much I would love to have DD slip on out!  

 

SD.  like everyone else said, I would keep hope alive, numbers going up is still good and that is so early for an U/S. . 

 

esenbee. . yay for movement. . and yes, I am all about the squat!  as far as bathrooms. . my DH is trans but very outwardly perceived as male so bathrooms are not an issue plus DS is too young to wonder about anything yet but I agree that just saying that DSP goes where they feel safe.  I guess part of the answer prob also depends on your partners self identification. I think kids get a lot more than we give them credit for so trying to say something that is as close to your truth as possible, that you feel comfortable having her talk to other people about, like her friends, their parents etc.  

 

escher.  hope the ride on toy works. . I have a climber too and have turned around for 10 seconds and turned back to see him on the counter, having created his own "staircase"  heart attack city! 

 

bigfoot. . that is amazing about the book deal though I see why it could be overwhelming at the same time! 

 

isa. . have fun at the spa!  and I hope to see birthday pictures

 

carmen. . sorry you are having such a hard trip but glad you are feeling a little better. . 


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Old 04-13-2013, 05:02 AM
 
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these climbing babies stories are giving me fits. tonight at dinner our DS was like "you know, those babies are going to wreck everything. they are going to break so much shit in the house." i was like, oh, thanks you asshole. 

 LMFAO! This literally made me spit my drink out! Love it. Maybe b/c our oldest is going on 18, and your son sounds SO much like him! I just love how blunt your DS was about it! Sad thing is, he is probably right, ha ha And congrats on the twin boys btw! I was totaly off and I apologfize for that, but I am so excited for you ladies! ((Hugs))


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Old 04-15-2013, 09:56 AM
 
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thanks for the comments/feedback ladies....we have our next u/s this Wed, and we'll see what the story is...dw is already convinced this is not viable....either way, we'll keep on trying, though we're hoping for a good outcome this week! & I hope to remain on this board, thanks all, will keep you posted 


me: 35 years old & my wife: 38 years old, started TTC in July 2012

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Old 04-15-2013, 12:04 PM
 
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Hi Everyone,

SanDiego: This has to be a hard waiting time for you right now. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm glad that you only have a couple of days now until your next ultrasound. fingersx.gif

Carmen: I'm sorry that you were sick so far from home. I'm glad that you are feeling better now. When do you fly home?

Esenbee: I like M&M's suggestion to explain that people use the bathroom that feels best to them. It's exciting that you're feeling so much movement!

AFM: Any favorite nausea suggestions/remedies/cures/foods/etc. you want to suggest? We're still searching for something that works for my wife.....

whistling.gifMe, love.gif my wife, blowkiss.gifour son (2.5), and luxlove.gif our daughter (5 months)
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:26 PM
 
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Thanks to everyone for kind words about my book deal freak out. 

 

Sphinxy - that research stuff sounds awesome. I feel like it is so different to be on the verge of parenthood as an adult. I guess I had a lot going on at 19 too, but it is tough to be pulled in so many directions.

 

S&B - it is so exciting to feel movement from the outside! Your DP must be stoked. Our lilttle ones' kicks keep getting stronger!

 

Seraf - I did a blog series awhile back on lunches in mason jars, and some of my recipes and photographs were posted in articles on CNN online, Huffpo, and a the Kitchn. So it would be a cookbook on jar meals on the go, which should be fun.

 

Carmen - so sorry you got sick! I am glad the baby is doing well. How scary!

 

Escher - I think 1/2 dose of Unisom at bedtime was the biggest help for nausea for DW. We also tried just about everything you can think of, most of which did very little. Peppermint or lemon essential oils to smell were sometimes a very temporary help.

 

AFU - creeping up on 20 weeks, OMG. Did neither of us post about our big ultrasound here? I know we posted on the FB group that we are having TWO BOYS! We are officially outnumbered. We also got lots of good news about placentas (they are on opposite sides of the uterus and neither placenta is near the cervix) and size (they are both big and the exact same - 83rd percentile). Hurray! Even the teenager has now felt them kicking from the outside. We have also made an appointment to have a consultation with the OB who is backed by a team of midwives, so we would know for sure that we would get the same doctor when the birth happens. We will see how that goes. The only bad thing to report: DW "failed" the 1 hour gestational diabetes screen (score was 160). She is really upset about taking the 3 hour test. Blargh. And I am in official contract negotiations on the book deal, expecting a final contract with my co-author added soon. Scary but exciting.


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Old 04-15-2013, 05:11 PM
 
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Escher, I wore seabands and liked sour candy.

Bigfoot, are there many bloggers doing the mason jar meals thing? I remember reading blogs about them a while back and I'm wondering if I saw yours.

Cordelia, I don't think many babies slip out. I know after the problems I had with #1, I was careful to always use good posture, never slouching, to assure #2 had a better chance of being well positioned. I relaxed that philosophy with #3 and had a much harder labor. The couple of midwives I shared his birth story with have said he was likely a face presentation.

Whose iron is too low for a home birth? Floradix is the most popular supplement I hear about. Out of left field, it took me 4 babies to realize that my long term mild anemia was caused by a dairy allergy. I found out about it because the boys had blood in their poop, blood that's not visible now that they eat solids. Discontinuing dairy allowed all our iron levels to return to normal. Food for thought if this is an ongoing issue.

I'm working again and Sara is going to orientation Wednesday. Good times all around.

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Old 04-15-2013, 05:43 PM
 
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seraf- I think it has gotten pretty trendy recently, so probably a lot of people have blogged about it. I will message you a link. 


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Old 04-15-2013, 09:00 PM
 
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seraf. .you do know I was joking about slipping out right?  After a three day induction and three hours of pushing which ended up in a c-section, I would consider almost anything under 90 minutes of pushing "slipping out"   I feel like I did everything in my power the first pregnancy to ensure a good birth, daily exercise and yoga, massage, chiropractic, birth classes, breathing etc so am now at the point that I prepare the best I can and accept fate as part of it! 


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Old 04-15-2013, 11:42 PM
 
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Yah! Today it happened. My hemoglobin is high enough for a home birth. I am so happy since I had my daughter at home, and I was quite worried about birthing in a hospital. Now that I can relax a bit, I am hoping that relaxation will need to labour starting =) 

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Old 04-16-2013, 05:41 AM
 
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Cordelia, yeah, I knew you didn't mean, like, fall out. I have no idea why babies sometimes don't come out on their own but I do know every labor is different. How's this for a story? Sara's mom had a c-section with her first (I can't remember why) but with her second she went in for her scheduled c-section and the doc checked her and she was something crazy like 7 cm. She still wanted the C but the doc wanted to wait an hour. An hour later she was complete. I don't know how long pushing took, but I know the birth was vaginal. Whatever problem was there with the first was not with the second.

Splashing, yay for a healthy iron!! Yay for a home birth!

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Old 04-16-2013, 06:19 AM
 
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Carmen--how are you feeling? Better, I hope!

Escher--lots of mild protein. If she eats eggs and greek yogurt, those helped me, but my nausea was pretty mild to begin with. I hope you find something that helps!

Bigfoot--your blog is awesome! I'm going to go through and look at all of the recipes--we've been getting into a total lunch rut lately, and could use some new ideas. One question, though--where do you find jars with lids like that? All of my mason jars have canning lids, which don't seem like they'd work as well for transportation...

Splashing--Hurray! Glad to hear the good news about your homebirth! smile.gif

AFM--birthday party was a little stressful to set up, but a huge success. We had lots of help and it was really fun to have a big party and see everyone. I didn't take too many pictures, so I'm waiting for my mom and stepmom to send the millions they took--hopefully some are decent. But here you get the idea.



She's here!
And so are the boys!
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:02 AM
 
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Isa, dying of cute!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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Old 04-16-2013, 08:58 AM
 
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Isa - OMG, adorable birthday girl! How fun. Are you asking about the white plastic jar lids? Ball calls them "storage caps" and the ones I have bought are BPA free, although the Amazon listing doesn't seem to say that. I don't know if you have Fred Meyer in your area. Most stores that have a good selection of canning supplies have them, and they are great for freezing stuff in jars. http://www.amazon.com/Ball-Wide-Mouth-Plastic-Storage-8-Count/dp/B000SSN3L2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366123840&sr=8-1&keywords=ball+wide+mouth+bpa+free+lids


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Old 04-16-2013, 10:24 AM
 
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AFM: Any favorite nausea suggestions/remedies/cures/foods/etc. you want to suggest? We're still searching for something that works for my wife.....

 

I also used seabands, cocculine (homeopathic for motion sickness) and sometimes even just sipping water regularly helped. Mostly just time spent riding it out.

 

 

Afm: I arrived back home yesterday morning and managed to stay awake until 7pm! Then I crashed hard and slept for 13 hours (minus the many bathroom wake ups). It's really nice to be home :) Now I have to prepare for a surprise birthday party for my DP on Saturday....I'm a glutton for punishment lol I'm feeling mostly better but still have some unwanted episodes of bathroom trips and nausea. My next midwife appointment is next Wednesday. Can't believe I'm 24 weeks tomorrow! I'm starting to get achy hips in the morning and achy legs during the night. I've also had a couple of bouts of heartburn...it started early when I was pregnant with DD but so far I've been lucky with this pregnancy!


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Old 04-16-2013, 10:30 AM
 
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Hi Everyone,

Bigfoot: What's your blog? It sounds like it has great ideas!

Isa: That looks like a fun party. I'm impressed with the fancy high chair!

Splashing: Hooray for being able to birth at home!

Seraf: Look at those sweet giggly boys.

Carmen: I'm glad you're back home. Good luck with the party!

Thanks, everyone, for the nausea suggestions!

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Old 04-16-2013, 11:36 AM
 
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seraf.  now that is the type of story that gives me hope.  I think doctors and other people really try to panic people who had c-sections about their next births so it's always good and grounding to remember how different labors can be for the same birth parent 

 

isa. . such wonderful pictures, glad it turned out so well

 

Carmen. . glad you are home safe and sound.  

 

knitting tigers. . how are you feeling?  you are going to set a record for cooking those twins.  

 

AFU.  no real news, DH and I are going away for the weekend to try to spend a little time together before #2 arrives.  Two nights will be the longest I have ever been away from DS but I am excited to sleep and reconnect as a couple.  Though you will notice I put sleep first! 


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Old 04-17-2013, 11:55 AM
 
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Cordelia: Ah, sleep.... I hope you have a great trip!

People with two or more more kids: How does it work? How it is possible to love a second child as much as your first? How do you possibly have enough time for everyone?

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Old 04-17-2013, 01:24 PM
 
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Isa, adorable.

Carmen, welcome home.

Cordelia, have a good trip.

Escher, they're all easy to love. Time is a whole other ball game. Sara and A feel occasionally slighted. My boys don't. More later.

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Old 04-18-2013, 11:22 AM
 
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SanDiego: How did it go yesterday? fingersx.gif

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Old 04-18-2013, 05:53 PM
 
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Escher--I didn't read all of the nausea suggestions, but I want to throw out there that you may want to be wary of ginger. Particularly dried ginger. I don't know if anyone recommended it, but I know it is commonly recommended. I know many people use ginger (fresh is safer than dried, if you do) but it has been known to cause miscarriages for some.


I've been with DW , DD1(16), & DD2(12) since '09. Naturally birthed DD3 6/21/13. . Family of five females! LOVE makes a family.
M/C 2/10 ~Ahti Pan, forever in my heart.
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Old 04-18-2013, 08:34 PM
 
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escher - unfortunately we still do not have a clear answer..dw's hcg levels are still rising...they went up to 26,560 (from 11,760) but according to what we saw on the u/s...the chance of it being viable is not looking good. we go back on Monday for another u/s and determine next steps...I have a feeling I'll be back on the Conceptions board pretty soon, but holding onto a shred of hope all is ok... either way we'll get through this and keep on...


me: 35 years old & my wife: 38 years old, started TTC in July 2012

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Old 04-18-2013, 09:25 PM
 
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SanDiego, I'm sorry the ultrasound wasn't clear good news. I'm hopeful for you.

Escher, the more later I promised: the first kid gets a very focused attention, when there are more kids, there's a lot of attention, it just comes from more people. I took about 100 pictures today and wrote most everything down. I posted about our day here. You can check it out if you like, but the moral of the moral of the story is: my floors are sticky. Only two kids, you will have half the sticky or less.

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Old 04-18-2013, 10:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL, seraf!!! "Return to find S2 added all clean silverware to his bath water"! Thanks, I needed that.

 

Oh, SanDiego, I am sorry you don't have any clearer information... What an awful thing to have hanging over you both. FX for good news on Monday, I'm still rooting for you too.

 

Does anyone have updates they'd like me to add to the front page?

 

SplashingPuddle, I notice we don't have you on there at all: Do you want to be added?

 

Outdoorsy and Cordelia, your EDDs aren't listed: Do you want them included?

 

I had an awful experience a couple days ago: A very good friend of my housemate was visiting, and we started chatting about gardening as she and I always do, and as I've been too tired to get much done in that area yet this season, I ended up telling her that DP and I are having a baby... And she started crying. Like, sobbing, sudden, wretched. Turns out she and her husband have been trying unsuccessfully for a while now, and also that she hasn't ever told anyone... This was the first time she'd ever talked about it. My heart felt so crushed for her, and she was so painfully embarrassed by her sudden reaction. I did my best to assure her that it's fine, and totally normal. I also told her that the local fertility clinic is great, that the doctor's kind and is into as low intervention as possible, and that I myself had been surprised to learn I needed drugs (or incredible luck!!!) to get pregnant, because I never knew I had PCOS. Anyway. Thought maybe some of you could relate... I know how lucky I am to have gotten knocked up so quickly, and yet still I forget sometimes, and really was totally sent reeling by this experience.


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Old 04-19-2013, 05:04 AM
 
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Granite, that is hard all around.

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Old 04-19-2013, 09:14 AM
 
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Granite - Mine is late June, but I don't really want to list the exact day.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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Old 04-19-2013, 11:32 AM
 
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granite: Yes, please add me, my due date is April 29th and I also have a three year old. 

 

I too went through fertility treatment (IVF), and I have been fairly open about it. As a result, I am amazed how many people tell me their story or their sister's/friend's story. Challenges getting pregnant are so common yet so rarely spoken about.  I actually feel really fortunate as a lesbian in many ways because it feels almost easier to talk about fertility treatment somehow.  It seems harder for many straight couples with challenges, perhaps because they feel like they should be able to just get pregnant.  I guess I have always known that I wouldn't be getting pregnant that way, so I have opened myself up to the variety of ways that my partner and I can have children.  When that meant fertility treatment, I think I took it a bit more in stride because I never assumed that sex would just lead to pregnancy in my situation.

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Old 04-19-2013, 01:59 PM
 
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Granite, that sounds very hard. But, it sounds like it may have been a great release for your friend and she likely appreciated being able to finally talk about it! If you didn't already, you could ask her if she'd rather you avoid talking about pregnancy with her in the future - or she may welcome conversation now that she's opened up. I know some people that can't even see a pregnant woman when they have been struggling to get pregnant themselves. I, on the other hand, figured it was good luck winky.gif

 

 

Afm: I slept from 9pm - 12pm last night....15 hours! Not uninterrupted of course but wow, what an incredible luxury! Between being sick, jet lag and being pregnant I guess I needed it. Both my DP and I have the day off and DD is in daycare on Fridays. DP dropped off DD this morning and is putting the final touches on our townhouse for staging (FINALLY) and I'm going to clean the new house for our "2 dinner guests" tomorrow...which actually means the surprise party for DP! She is going to be so surprised and happy, I can't wait to see her face orngbiggrin.gif


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