Personal info and a 3 year old - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 04-14-2013, 12:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello ladies! I don't post here very often but I always seem to get good advice when I do. This is my issue, my daughter is 3 1/2 years old and she is very verbal and she talks A LOT. Which generally isn't a bad thing but I recently switched to a night job so that I can stay home with her during the day. It's awesome but she does miss her 'school' friends so I try to take her to parks and the zoo and such to play with other kids as much as I can. Now, we live in a pretty conservative state and the SAHMs especially tend to be of the religious variety and not super liberal - or any kind of liberal for that matter - at all. Which wouldn't be a big deal but my daughter is very proud of our family and invariably about the 3rd sentence out of her mouth to her new 'friends' is "I have two mommies!". I love that she is so proud of our family but this generally always leads to awkward conversation and quick shuffling off of the child by the parent. And then my daughter gets confused and sad. So I don't know how to approach this without making her feel that our family is strange or subpar in some way. Any ideas on how I could make this situation better? Le sigh. This is the main reason we are looking to escape the desert!


J&M parenting our little breast-feeding, co-sleeping, moby-riding sleepytime.gif since July '09! Added a baby.gif brother in March '12!

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#2 of 7 Old 04-14-2013, 04:48 PM
 
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I don't have kids yet but do you have any friends with children that you could have your daughter spend time with? I just think I would encourage friendships with people who would be happy to be a part of your life. Maybe meetup.com or a glbt center that might have a family group?

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#3 of 7 Old 04-14-2013, 05:22 PM
 
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I would look into a few playmates for her that you know. Even though its sad for her better for them to shrug off then play all day or a few times and then not be able to play anymore (which is ridiculous what state do you live in?) I understand how you don't want to quell that spark shes got especially being so cute and proud.

 

Maybe when you see her start going down that track have her talk about something else she likes.

 

"How about show your friend your new toy."

 

Or whatever. Just try to veer her away before she gets to that point.
 

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#4 of 7 Old 04-14-2013, 08:24 PM
 
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I'm sorry. This sucks. I also think that being intentional about finding (or starting!) gay-friendly play groups might be important. And having age-appropriate conversations about prejudice- "Some people think that kids can only have a mommy and a daddy, but we know that lots of kids have two mommies, two daddies, etc...." It may be helpful to mix this in with other conversations about difference, both so that she doesn't feel singled out, and because other parents/families will appreciate it too. ("Some people walk on their feet, and other people use wheelchairs., etc.)

Good luck navigating it all.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#5 of 7 Old 04-19-2013, 09:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks ladies. I feel like I do need to make more of an effort to find families like ours to hang out with. It is harder than I would think since there don't seem to be many SAHM lesbian moms around me. But there has to be some around here I just need to do some networking.

J&M parenting our little breast-feeding, co-sleeping, moby-riding sleepytime.gif since July '09! Added a baby.gif brother in March '12!

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#6 of 7 Old 04-19-2013, 12:35 PM
 
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Its hard to be a Sahm and find good mesh well mommy friends for I think every mom smile.gif
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#7 of 7 Old 04-20-2013, 06:00 AM
 
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While there aren't tons of families like ours, there are many allies in playgroups all around in the SAHP set.

When we lived out in the country, we found the most acceptance/like minded people at the library storytime closest to the university. All our baby friends and the one queer family we knew came from there despite the town being 20 miles from us.

Now we live in a city and the part of town where the professors live is the most queer (and AP) friendly. Story time is great because many parents who aren't home all day can make it. The parents there don't flinch about different family setups.

Good luck finding cool families.

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