Queer parents - Page 19 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#541 of 589 Old 12-20-2013, 05:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
seraf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: in transition in ohio
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Starling, I have treated with gentian violet successfully a few times. I had to call around to find it. Otherwise just try to keep them dry. I think OTC antifungals would probably do it, too. I would never bother with a whole anti-candida diet for a one time problem. Lol.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
seraf is offline  
#542 of 589 Old 12-20-2013, 01:05 PM
 
starling&diesel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: West Coast, Canada
Posts: 3,821
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Tried both those, with no improvement.
It's been weeks!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
starling&diesel is online now  
#543 of 589 Old 12-20-2013, 06:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
seraf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: in transition in ohio
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are you sure it's thrush? I've had similar pain with my milk drying up (pregnancy/weaning) but only flaking with thrush.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
seraf is offline  
#544 of 589 Old 12-20-2013, 06:56 PM
 
starling&diesel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: West Coast, Canada
Posts: 3,821
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Yep. Doc did a swab of H's cheek.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
starling&diesel is online now  
#545 of 589 Old 12-21-2013, 03:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
seraf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: in transition in ohio
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is he on nystat? Weeks of thrush sounds awful.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
seraf is offline  
#546 of 589 Old 12-21-2013, 06:16 AM
 
Sphinxy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 614
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OMG I just had to pop in to say, W just slept through the night! When I woke up to the sound of him fussing and saw that the clock read 5:40am, I could have thrown a parade I was so excited. He fell asleep at 10:15. Holy crap, I feel like a new woman.

Happy solstice!

My wife (30) and I (32) have been legally married since 2006. We are proud queer mamas to baby W, born 10/10/2013.
Sphinxy is offline  
#547 of 589 Old 12-21-2013, 07:31 PM
 
pokeyac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
Awesome! It's amazing what a little sleep will do. Wish mine would go to sleep.



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is online now  
#548 of 589 Old 01-03-2014, 01:16 PM
 
pokeyac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
Hi Everybody! How's it going? Happy 2014!

QOTD--How do you all deal with the holidays? This year was pretty crazy. We traveled cross country to see our families and celebrate C's first xmas with them. It was flying and a lot of driving. It was wonderful to spend time with our families and C. They love him very much. He was really cute with his cousins. We experienced a lot of generosity that was sweet but a little overwhelming. People we have never met bought gifts for the babe. We received 4 electronic puppies! 4! It's not something we would get for him and not something we mentioned to people when they asked what he could use, but he loves them. We returned 2 of them, one of each brand. It's made us think more about what kind of toys we would like him to have.



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is online now  
#549 of 589 Old 01-03-2014, 02:09 PM
 
prettyisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,482
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
We just ride it out. Requests for certain toys and other suggestions are almost always ignored by our families, who have their own ideas about what to get. This year I was surprised that we actually got the wagon we asked for and that people really did buy E a bunch of the puzzles we suggested (which she ADORES). Usually we get a pile of clothes that aren't really our style and whatever plastic toy looks good at Target. Got those, too. Requests for less stuff or college funds are completely ignored. I'm hoping that once she's bigger she'll be able to ask for what she actually wants, and hopefully people will get it for her.

She's here!
And so are the boys!
prettyisa is offline  
#550 of 589 Old 01-03-2014, 05:56 PM
 
starling&diesel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: West Coast, Canada
Posts: 3,821
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
QOTD:
We started out saying NO GIFTS PLEASE, way back at the baby shower. I'd rather say that than lay out the parameters of what's okay in our house. When people insisted, we said we were saving up for a bike carrier and would love help with that.
Later, when people insisted (and many did), it usually came along with the question, "What would you like for the baby/kids?"
We'd tell them that we like books, art supplies, experiences, and contributions to their educational fund. If they keep pushing, we say our place is really small and we just don't have room for a lot of toys.
Then if they STILL give us something usefless/branded/ugly/toxic, we move it along without even opening it up.
Now, five years into this gig, most of our friends and family are totally on board.
It took a LOT of repeating ourselves and demonstrating by example ('No gift' requests for birthdays too) that we mean business when it comes to simple living.

Ultimately though, it's okay to accept the gift and say thank you and then move it on to a better home. We do that a lot. The "thank you" is genuine, because we know that people give with good intentions, but just miss the mark. We always find a good home for the toys/cothes that aren't wanted/appreciated in our home.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
starling&diesel is online now  
#551 of 589 Old 01-04-2014, 07:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
seraf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: in transition in ohio
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't worry too much. It never ends. My kids each had 2 requests on their lists. They got way way way way more than that. I'm just going to make them go through and pick what they want to keep and donate.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
seraf is offline  
#552 of 589 Old 01-07-2014, 11:46 AM
 
carmen358's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The beautiful west coast of Canada!
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I posted a long, likely very profound wink1.gif , update recently. But I got a browser error and it didn't post and I lost it. Bugga.

Late but QOTD re: friends with no kids. My group of best friends were amazing with S and things didn't change that much. However, as she got older and I got pregnant again it has been pretty much the same story as starling describes. I feel a great sense of loss around it but I'm building a new community and feeling more hopeful we can make new connections.

Gifts! Ahhhh! I get frustrated but mostly do a combo of passing things along before S spots it or just not stressing about it. I'm not always successful on the not stressing part wink1.gif It drives me crazy when people ask then buy whatever they want anyway lol We normally say books and art supplies, lego this year. I would like to start no gifts next year for birthday parties with friends. A few kids have had "twoonie parties" which is a cute idea too. Then donate to charity and/or buy one thing of child's choice.

I've been struggling a lot with what appears to be pretty severe post partum depression. It's been very, very hard but I've contacted a local ppd organization and I'm seeking help. I'm looking forward to feeling better. I've never been depressed before.

L is growing so quickly and slept like crap since just before 4 months until the past few days when he appears to be back to his pre sleep regression rock star sleeping pattern. He's so lovely and sweet and really just hates to be put down most days. S turned 4 on the 30th which seems so grown up! She's going through a hard time lately for various reasons. Some due to my depression I would imagine. Overall we're doing pretty good though smile.gif

Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
carmen358 is offline  
#553 of 589 Old 02-12-2014, 01:54 PM
 
pokeyac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
How's everyone doing?

Carmen-How is your PPD treatment going? I hope you are feeling a little better and more supported.

AFU-C is 7 1/2 months now and he just started crawling the other day. He is all about the cat's food so we need to figure out where to put it so it's out of reach. He has 1 tooth with another one peeking out. There are 3 more that are working their way out. Life has been busy but good.

QOTD--For those of you in the US, how are you doing your taxes this year? With the recent Supreme Court rulings, we are able to file our taxes as married this year. I'm not sure if we should file jointly or separately. My wife makes a good bit more money than I do. We have a new deduction with the baby, but we also have to pay income tax on the paid family leave we received from the State. greensad.gif It bums me out that we received a great benefit to bond with our baby and now we have to pay for it. I think we are going to consult with an accountant.



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is online now  
#554 of 589 Old 02-13-2014, 05:11 PM
 
escher's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Everyone!

Taxes: I use TurboTax, and it will recommend which way to file and show what the difference will be. I don't know yet what will make sense for us!

Pokey: Congratulations on the crawling!

whistling.gifMe, love.gif my wife, blowkiss.gifour son (2.5), and luxlove.gif our daughter (5 months)
escher is offline  
#555 of 589 Old 02-14-2014, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
seraf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: in transition in ohio
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not married, so I have no idea about that at all.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
seraf is offline  
#556 of 589 Old 02-14-2014, 08:27 PM
 
mrsandmrs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 934
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm married, so I don't have to know how to do my own taxes. smile.gif
pokeyac likes this.

heartbeat.gif rainbow1284.gif wife (31) + wife (37) rainbow1284.gif heartbeat.gif & our three sons  bikenew.gifbabyf.gifbabyf.gif
mrsandmrs is offline  
#557 of 589 Old 02-15-2014, 03:28 PM
 
prettyisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,482
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
We pay an accountant, because ours is confusing with rental property and stuff. It isn't too expensive, and you can write it off the next year.

She's here!
And so are the boys!
prettyisa is offline  
#558 of 589 Old 02-19-2014, 12:19 PM
 
esenbee2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 381
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We are filing as jointly because of the various credits amd deductions that we can't claim by filing married/separately

Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married rainbow1284.gif May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD babygirl.gif (L-4). dog2.gif Billa,  dog2.gif Hurley, dog2.gif Spitfire (Leroy) and cat.gif Nollie too!
* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * * 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * belly.gif * 36 * !38! * 40 - stork-boy.gifstork-boy.gif EDD 9.5.13

esenbee2 is offline  
#559 of 589 Old 02-19-2014, 12:42 PM
 
pokeyac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
Sorry, seraf--I forgot to say, "For those of you who are legally married..."

Thanks for your responses, everyone! It's been kind of quiet around here lately. What's new with you?



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is online now  
#560 of 589 Old 02-19-2014, 02:19 PM
 
prettyisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,482
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
Boys! That's what's new here. Which means I've been sifting through piles and piles of baby clothes to get all of the pink frilly stuff out. I'm pleasantly surprised by how much of our baby stuff is neutral or even clearly intended for boys, so there's probably not all that much that we'll need to buy. It's sad to say goodbye to some of my favorite outfits, though. We also seem to be butting up against 2 in terms of tantrums. E cried all the way home from daycare because I told her we didn't have kids at home to play with yesterday. She's also started pretending to be a puppy, which is very cute. And she demands that we help her do everything, which is getting less and less pleasant as I get bigger and it becomes more work to drag myself up and follow her to choose a new book every time.

Other than that, my house is a pit, but it's sunny out and even kind of warm, so things are looking up! smile.gif

She's here!
And so are the boys!
prettyisa is offline  
#561 of 589 Old 02-20-2014, 09:31 AM
 
escher's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congratulations on the boys, Isa! joy.gif

whistling.gifMe, love.gif my wife, blowkiss.gifour son (2.5), and luxlove.gif our daughter (5 months)
escher is offline  
#562 of 589 Old 02-20-2014, 11:43 AM
 
pokeyac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
Congratulations on twin baby boys, isa! We were due for another set. I hope you are feeling well and that the tantrums ease up. I imagine it must be difficult to deal with a toddler while pregnant with twins.



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is online now  
#563 of 589 Old 02-20-2014, 01:37 PM
 
mrsandmrs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 934
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

we can never have enough twin boys around here! congrats!


heartbeat.gif rainbow1284.gif wife (31) + wife (37) rainbow1284.gif heartbeat.gif & our three sons  bikenew.gifbabyf.gifbabyf.gif
mrsandmrs is offline  
#564 of 589 Old 02-20-2014, 08:29 PM
 
CocoBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 276
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Isa!! Congratulations!! :) So exciting. And hi, everyone! I haven't been on here in a while, but I was missing you.


With DW partners.gif, DD1peace.gif(15), & DD2guitar.gif(11) since '09. Naturally birthed DD3 ecbaby2.gif6/21/13. We familybed1.gif, I bftoddler.gif and I'm a total treehugger.gif.  Family of five females! grouphug.gifrainbow1284.gifLOVE makes a family.             M/C candle.gif 2/10 ~Ahti Pan, forever in my heart.
CocoBird is online now  
#565 of 589 Old 02-24-2014, 01:41 AM
 
gamitzer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: South Jersey!
Posts: 486
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi all, baby Ben was born on 2/17 and we could not be happier or more in love! DS1 (age 6) is doing really well, but is definitely needing some extra praise and attention. I made sure to spend a lot of alone time with him over the weekend, and purposely snuggled and read books before bed with him, making sure he stills feels special and deserving of my time. If anyone has advice on maintaining this close bond, please share!
In also happy news, my wife's parents seem transformed by having a grandchild! They have always been surface level supportive of our relationship, but seemed mostly closeted like not telling people about us/our family, our marriage last year, etc. But their first grandchild (non bio for them) seems to have softened their hearts and they are spreading the word like crazy! I wasn't expecting it, but hoped they would come around. Mostly I am just very happy for my wife because she feels so validated right now and proud her parents are treating our son just as she was hoping they would. Yay!

Mama (non-bio) to REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifmy little man (6), and mama (bio) to babyboy.gif my tiny man (2/14)
gamitzer is offline  
#566 of 589 Old 02-24-2014, 06:02 AM
 
prettyisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,482
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
Gamitzer--congrats on baby Ben! And on your in-laws' sudden excitement about your family. I think that happens a lot (though sadly not always). We found that a lot of the dumb things my DP's mom said before the baby arrived (in her case not homophobic, more things like, 'just call me the florida grandma, because she won't know who I am anyway') disappeared the instant there was actually a little girl on the scene. Now they're very bonded to each other and she doesn't say anything other than that we should move down there so they can see each other more. She has also started to come out about DP and I to a lot of people, including random clients at work where there is no reason to do it other than that it's normal to talk about your family. I hope your DP's parents continue to be so excited and in love and that you all benefit from it! Definitely interested to hear any ideas about how to make kid #1 feel still loved when the siblings arrive, since that's been on my mind a lot lately.

AFM--two funny things from this weekend: E an I got on several elevators and each time E proudly announced that we were going to ride the 'alligator', which sounds much more adventurous! And then last night my dad and stepmom were visiting us, and E took them both by the hand into her room, closed the door, and proceeded to have a party for almost an hour. Whenever they'd try to open the door to see if we were worried about her she would climb over my dad, say, 'excuse me grandpa Rick,' and slam the door so they could keep playing. It was the first time she's ever wanted to have her friends over without all those pesky mamas getting in the way. smile.gif

She's here!
And so are the boys!
prettyisa is offline  
#567 of 589 Old 02-24-2014, 11:56 AM
 
pokeyac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
Hi CocoBird! Glad to see you back around!

isa-That's so cute! It's amazing how they grow up and learn new things.

gamitzer-I'm glad your in-laws are coming around. My MIL got off to a rough start because our son is not biologically related to my wife. She thought we should adopt instead so that our child wouldn't be related to either of us. greensad.gif I knew she would come around, and she did. Now, she can't get enough of that baby and is sad we live far away. When I was on maternity leave, I sent her a picture of him every day.



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is online now  
#568 of 589 Old 03-01-2014, 05:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
seraf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: in transition in ohio
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, I've been a bad board checker!

Isa! Boys rock! Congratulations!

Gametzer, congratulations! My kids sure got more I dependent with each new baby, but we kept special routines like bedtime. Once the little guy gets to be 4ish months old, the older guy will never know so much love. Babies and toddlers worship their bigs.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
seraf is offline  
#569 of 589 Old 03-21-2014, 11:15 AM
 
breadandcoffee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: oregon
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

hi queer parenting folks,

my lovely little babe is just about a month old, and for the past few days she has been screaming and screaming during her diaper changes/clothing changes.  did this happen to anyone else?  what did you do?  my dp and i have been talking her through what we're doing and/or singing, and try to stay super calm...but nothing has been working consistently.  what really worries me us that she seems to be teaching herself to scream whenever she's a bit uncomfortable.  so, if she screams because she doesn't like to lay on her back/be naked/be cold, she should also scream if she's a little hungry, a little tired, etc.  she's such a calm and happy baby generally.  it's hard to see her getting so upset so many times a day.

 

thanks in advance for any suggestions.


 

 

 

breadandcoffee is online now  
#570 of 589 Old 03-21-2014, 11:54 AM
 
pokeyac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
I would guess she is cold. They can find being naked very unsettling when they are so little. That's why they tell you to change their diaper to wake them up. Are you changing her in the same place? Is there a warmer spot you could use? You could try putting a heating pad or hot water bottle or something on the changing pad before you put her on it, or keep part of her covered while you are working another part of her body. It may not be very comforting but the screaming could just be a totally normal way for her to communicate with you. She may not learn to use it in other situations. Babies this age go through so many little phases where they do something for a little bit and then they stop and move onto something else. "This too shall pass" is my mantra. This may just be a phase that won't last long.



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is online now  
Reply

Tags
Lgbtq

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off