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#571 of 589 Old 03-21-2014, 12:15 PM
 
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I don't think one month old babies can learn bad habits like that, so I wouldn't worry about that. I know it is stressful and upsetting for the parents, but this phase shall pass. I have twins, and one of them screamed almost around the clock when he was that age. Crying is the only way they have to communicate, and they dont always know what they are communicating. Cold, hot, uncomfortable, hungry, tired, lonely, bored, overstimulated - everything comes out as a scream! if you are able, i really got a lot of mileage out of the moby wrap during this phase. We still use the wipes warmer, simply because we found that it was awfully convenient with the cloth wipes. Good luck. 

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#572 of 589 Old 03-23-2014, 08:45 PM
 
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thanks for the responses pokeyAC and mrsandmrs...

 

pokey--our house is totally chilly sometimes, and it also fluctuates in temperature because we have baseboard heaters and don't have a thermostat.  i like the idea of using a hot water bottle, but there is no way i'd want to add that extra step to every diaper change--especially because we don't have a water source upstairs.  we started putting the wool blanket i knit for the baby on her during her diaper changes (and also tilted the surface where we've been changing her since she seems to dislike being horizontal) and it has made a huge difference.  the only times she has screamed since we made the change were during times when she was super hungry but needed to be changed before eating.  otherwise, the set-up is a bit awkward, and makes it like changing diapers under a tent...but totally, totally worth it.

 

mrsandmrs--i partly agree about little babies not being able to learn bad habits (and certainly believe that babies' wants and needs are fully aligned at this point), but i also wonder about reverting to particular modes of reaction as they happen over and over.  one of my midwives talked to my dp and me about the way babies often go back to their birth experience, and particularly talked about birth trauma since we had an emergency c-section.  sometimes it feels like she goes really quickly into the specific scream/cry i first heard her make in the operating room, and i wonder if she would make that same cry as often, or as quickly, if she had been born at home and hadn't had such a dramatic introduction to the world.  it feels like one of the hardest things to determine which baby behaviors are purely developmental and will pass, and which are important to actively address and tweak for everyone's sanity.  and, i just borrowed a moby wrap from a friend to test out with the baby.  why was it so helpful for you?  because it's a good place to calm an unhappy baby?  so far i haven't gotten comfortable enough with positioning her in either my sling or the moby to have both hands free.


 

 

 

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#573 of 589 Old 03-24-2014, 07:37 AM
 
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B&C--glad you found a solution. Supposedly one day it will actually be spring and you won't have to change diapers under the tent anymore! Also, I think that there's something to the idea that if it is working to get your parents' attention, why change how you're yelling? Newborn crying is SO much harder on parents than older baby crying--it's set to get you to react immediately. My guess is that as she gets out of her 'fourth trimester' in a couple months the kind of yelling that really gets to you will be replaced by more normal crying that you can override your hormones when you hear it and react to less frantically. Both my DP and I were on edge with our DD for the first few months every time she cried because it was just so intense. We had a snuggi wrap, which I found a lot better for me than a Moby--it's made of sweatshirt material, so it's a little firmer and made me feel like she was more secure, but otherwise it's the same. I never did figure out a sling for her, especially when she was so tiny. It's helpful to have them close to you but still be able to do other things, and especially for walks so you don't need to take a big stroller. If she's yelling a lot for reasons you can't identify (not hungry, wet, etc) it can be great to wear her and let her be close to one of you for long periods of time. I also think that it's possible to go a long way down the road of what-ifs regarding a 'perfect' birth. If it's helpful for you to work through those issues, do it, but don't feel like you need to make it up to her or beat yourselves up because things didn't go the way you planned. Many births are less than perfect, in many ways, and the kids turn out just fine anyway.

Anyone have any advice for a big bed transition? We're going to give DD a toddler bed for her birthday--not, sadly, because she gets out of her crib. She doesn't. But we don't want it to feel like we're stealing her bed to give to a brother, so the birthday seems like an opportunity to sneak it past her. I'm making her a new quilt, and we've been reading a book about baby animals that outgrow their nests and need a bigger sleeping space. Any other suggestions?

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#574 of 589 Old 03-24-2014, 09:26 AM
 
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b&c i'm glad the diaper changes are going more smoothly. i found the moby wrap to be helpful because it seemed to combine the calming affects of being held/near the heart and the security of the swaddle. i would pop in the screaming baby and he would settle within a few seconds or minutes, and then i could go about my day or tend to the other baby's needs, the dishes, the chickens, the coffee, whatever. if you feel like you can't go "hands free" with the moby, it's likely that you need to tie it tighter. i struggled with that in the beginning. a stretchy wrap by nature stretches as you use it, so it needs to be quite tight whenever you put the baby in. there are some good youtube videos the helped me a lot. maybe it's the twins thing, or maybe just my style, but baby wearing has been invaluable for me. i would not have survived the "fourth trimester" without it. and now i can't stop! i spent this weekend wearing between 15 and 30 lbs of baby the entire time. 


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#575 of 589 Old 04-12-2014, 06:21 PM
 
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Hi Everyone! Miss you all. Our baby boy is now 9.5 months old and what a wild ride it's been. He is so animated and has such a little personality already. It's so cute and mind blowing at the same time.
I wish I could be here more but I am working a ton. We have a Manny that stays at home with our son during the week. I am definitely scheming about working less, won't take much I just have to say no to jobs that come my way!
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#576 of 589 Old 04-17-2014, 05:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Isa, did you already transition her? My guys started in a big bed, but they're starting to do a little more laying down alone these days.

Birth memories, I don't know. My one who cried the most had the fastest and easiest (from my perspective) labor. The one who cried the most is also the only girl. She had some dietary stuff, but mostly I figure she was just the most expressive. It's been my experience that girls are expressive from birth. My boys are differently expressive. Than her and Han each other. She just get special marks for being the most. Of course, she grew out of big crying by a few months. Maybe you've moved out of it already, too.

Max, 9-12 month is one of the cutest ages! Jeeze! Good luck with getting home more.

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#577 of 589 Old 04-17-2014, 09:17 AM
 
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Hi Max! I can't believe your little guy is already more than 9 months old! That went by fast!

Seraf--nope, but the day is nigh! Last night she did her first jump from the crib. Not hurt, but lots of crying. We should be getting it this weekend at her family birthday party. We're big wimps about falling, so she hasn't really done it much yet. We don't really let her climb on much, so it's been rare to have her dive off of things. I set up her sleeping bunny alarm clock this morning, so we'll see how that goes, and am planning to toddler-proof her room tonight (it's mostly done, but there are some random things in there that I wouldn't want her destroying in the middle of the night).

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#578 of 589 Old 04-21-2014, 04:19 PM
 
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Hi Max! C is almost 10 months too and I agree with seraf, this is a really fun age! 6 months was a bit hard because he was crying a lot but since then it's been really cool. I hope you are able to succeed with your scheme. I'm sure you would enjoy it.

Hi prettyisa! I believe you said on the other thread that the boys are in good positions for vaginal birth. I hope they stay in those good positions so you can do that. Jumping from the crib sounds a little scary. I have memories of jumping out of my crib as a baby. Not sure if they are real or dreams but it's a long way when you are so small.



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#579 of 589 Old 04-22-2014, 09:48 AM
 
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Hi I'm owl.  My partner and I have 3 children on earth and one baby girl angel (whooping cough at 18 months). All from previous hetero relationships.  I carried all but our angel baby.  My fiancee doesn't want to carry any more. We do plan on one or two more but are waiting for Dear fiancees baby brother to turn 18 so he can be the sperm donor.  (3 more years)  Our children two girls 9 and 8 and a boy 6.   Our angel would have been 7.

We live in Florida but are saving our money to move to Portland, OR.

We're having a commitment ceremony 9-26-15 and will fly to Washington state to make it all legal after. (I've got family there, DF has many friends.)

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#580 of 589 Old 04-22-2014, 11:16 AM
 
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Pokey--thanks! I am hoping so, too! I'm ok with a c-section, but I'd like to avoid surgery if possible. And yes, it was terrifying for us, so I don't know what it was like for her. Though I have caught her standing up and considering it again. SO GLAD the toddler bed and mattress are all here now, so my afternoon project is getting her big-girl room ready to go. WIsh us luck, though--it's going to be a long couple nights. All our fault for letting her come to bed to sleep for the last hour every morning before we get up, but now she thinks our bed is an ok place to want to be.

Owl--welcome! Nice to have new folks around here! Where in FL are you? My wife is from Naples, and we talk about moving there sometime in the future, various things depending.

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#581 of 589 Old 04-22-2014, 11:25 AM
 
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Welcome Owl! Congratulations on your upcoming ceremony! My best friend lives in Portland, and there are quite a few folks on here from the Pacific Northwest. I love Portland. It's a great city.



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#582 of 589 Old 04-23-2014, 07:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Isa, how did the new bed go? Yay for a safe sleep space, even if it's less convenient. My boys just crossed the 6am line and sleep until almost 8 (so 11ish hours straight). It's delightful.

Owlyce, I'm adding you to the front page.

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#583 of 589 Old 04-23-2014, 08:56 AM
 
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It was great! She was SO excited to see it when she got home from school--immediately got her books out and lay down to read. Then at bedtime she wanted to see me after DP tucked her in and she was just so proud of her bed--lying there and grinning and too hyped up to sleep. She did pretty well, though, and her main stalling technique was to ask to use the potty--which she did, successfully, so that'll work whenever she wants to try it to buy more time. Then she slept all night and didn't get up this morning until her usual time, and then she stayed in her room and called for us. My guess is that it won't last as well once she realizes that she can get out of there on her own, but it was a nice first night!


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#584 of 589 Old 04-23-2014, 05:19 PM
 
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@prettyisa thanks for the welcome. We are in Gainesville.
@pokeyAC and @seraf thanks. Looking forward to being part of the group
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#585 of 589 Old 04-23-2014, 08:53 PM
 
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Hi.
I'm brand new to this site. Although not a mother yet, God willing in the next year, my wife and I have been having more specific conversations lately. One of which has been on homeschooling. After much search (via google) I'm beyond happy to have stumbled upon this page! I look forward to learning more as well as having support for when the time does come.
: ) Reina


[@pokeyAC: My wife & I filed jointly as well this year. Our amazing tax guy informed us that we can get retro for all of the years we've been (legally) married. So you might want to look into that. As it is from previous years I don't think there's a deadline to file. I do know you can't file online. But it's definitely worth it. Good luck!]
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#586 of 589 Old 04-26-2014, 07:41 PM
 
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Welcome ReinaQ! I'm so glad you found us. I hope your journey to parenthood is smooth. Feel free to join us on the Queer Conceptions thread when you are ready to ttc.
We went to an accountant this year and he is going to look at our returns from the last few years to see if we can file amended returns. We may not be because I got big returns because if my deductions for the medical bills from getting pregnant. Sperm and all the other stuff is tax deductible!



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#587 of 589 Old 04-28-2014, 05:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Isa, yay for a good night! Have they continued? Soren still calls from the bed when he wakes. Shay gets up on his own.

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#588 of 589 Old 05-22-2014, 06:59 AM
 
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Hi everyone! How are things going? Any exciting summery-type stuff going on? We've been gardening like maniacs--DD really likes to dig in the dirt, so I'm not sure we'll get any tomatoes this year, but she's so happy I can't stop her. I'm trying to figure out where we could put a sandbox in our dinky little yard.

Seraf--sleep is rough again. She still doesn't get out of bed, but she'll lie there calling for us for almost an hour after bedtime. Not usually crying so much as a constant refrain of 'mama! mama! I have an owie! An OWIE! MAMA! I need MEDICINE! twinkle twinkle little...MAMA!' and so on. We're trying to break the habit of going in there to talk to her since it doesn't make her any more calm and just seems to draw it out longer, but it's hard to ignore!

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#589 of 589 Old 05-30-2014, 02:15 PM
 
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Thumbs up

Hello everyone! I love the new smilies!

All is well here. C is going to be 1 in 27 days. I cannot believe it! He is very close to walking too. My FIL is coming to visit for his birthday and that will be lovely. We're going to have a party in a park with our friends and C's baby friends. He had his first ear infection and he is getting his molars. Those things combined with learning to walk make him rather crabby sometimes, but he is also getting more cuddly so that makes up for it, mostly.

isa-C also loves to play in the sand and he loves being outdoors. We have some veggies growing and I'm sure he will want to check them out. We are going to get him a little pool for the patio. I'm sorry sleep is rough. I hope she figures it out soon. She's knows you are there for her no matter what. I hope you are feeling well too.



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