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#1 ·
Have a baby, toddler or kid? Want to talk about all things related to parenting within your queer family? Welcome.

Expectant parents
Prettyisa

New parents with babies

Gamitzer
Rs11
Escher
Splashing puddle
New n young
Sphinxy
CaNanny
Planet
KnittingTigers
PokeyAC
erinTNgirl
maxK
Esenbee2
Mrs&Mrs
Carmen358
Wishin'&Hopin'
Cocobird

Parents of little kids aged 1-4

Escher
Seraf
OneMommyOneMama
CI Mama
Wishin'&hopin'
Carmen358
Heart-n-bones
Staling&Diesel
PrettyIsa

Parents of big kids aged 5-12

Owlyce
Gamitzer
Smilezalot
Cocobird
Seraf
TaviPDX
Esenbee2
KnittingTigers
Mandarie

Parents of teens aged 13-19

Smilezalot
Cocobird
Mrs&mrs
Queermomma
 
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#177 ·
Diapers: When our little guy was a newborn, we used a diaper service and went through 100 to 120 prefolds a week. Like Seraf we were ECing (which in the early days basically meant for us just being very responsive to wet diapers and changing them quickly), so maybe we went through more diapers than an average person would. When our little guy was a few months old and we started washing our own flats, we did laundry every day, and we had a full load every day between diapers and other clothes. We had four dozen diapers and that was enough for two days but not three.

AOTD: I don't think I've ever been asked by a kid why I shave, and I don't know what I would say. I've been thinking a lot about shaving lately. For years I've shaved my armpits but not my legs, but I'm really questioning if that is the right choice for me. I was raised with the idea that women shouldn't shave because it was a stupid unnecessary tradition, and while I sort of agree with that I just don't feel that personally comfortable with unshaved legs. I find myself choosing sometimes to wear pants instead of shorts on hot days because I don't want to deal with people noticing my unshaved legs. And that seems pretty crazy. So I'm thinking about starting to shave my legs. But even though Snopes says it isn't true, I worry that if I start shaving the hair will grow back thicker and darker and then I'll regret having shaved it. Anyway, clearly this QOTD was right in line with something I've been thinking about lately.

Here is a new QOTD: How much do you arrange your schedule around your child(ren)'s naps? Do you think it is important for your kid(s) to have regular naps? Is it important to you that they happen at a regular time or place?
 
#179 ·
Carmen, I told DD the same thing. I really wear one so the babies don't pinch me through my shirt.

Escher, I agree with Snopes. I have fairly light leg hair and I only shave once or twice a monthish through the summer and not at all in the winter. When I was a teen and shaved daily, It still never came in thicker or darker, but stubble is stubbly, so it has a different feel than either hairy or shaved legs. Back in the day when I didn't shave at all, I was occasionally asked, by women with hairy legs, if I shaved. They couldn't tell I had long leg hair, so I missed out on the feminist points anyway (I feel self-concous around friends who do and friends who don't when I'm hairy but only half as many when I shave. LOL). I've also had young children ask, but mostly they were the children of aformentioned friends with hairy legs. DD also asks because she has moms on both sides. Mayim Bialik (actress and author of Beyond the Sling) doesn't shave, either.

AOTD: Our boys wake and sleep at different times, If I felt attached to naps happening in one place, I would never leave the house. Some days their afternoon naps overlap but they regularly nap in transit. They want to nurse or sleep around 10:30, 1 and 5. The 10:30 and 5 naps are short, so we frequently plan travel at those times, hoping they will sleep in the car, but a little milk will usually pick them back up if they don't. By they, I mean S2 usually naps and S usually nurses, but sometimes takes a catnap. Lately they've both decided they want a 7PM nap and wake right at the big kids' bedtime, so I've been intentionally keeping them up at until 8ish.
 
#180 ·
Esenbee--we did laundry every day or other day with prefolds, and virtually never went through more than three covers (usually only one that we would change every day, but even then it was just because it seemed like a good idea, not because it was soiled or anything). I never do laundry usually, and I was pleased to discover that when the baby was young it didn't bother me at all to go down and put a load in while she was napping or even just if she was quietly amusing herself. Now that she's older and we're in sposies again we are back to never doing laundry, though we're thinking of switching back again, at least part time. I personally wouldn't want to let them sit for a week (the diaper services are using much hotter water than home washing machines have, from what I read), but you might find that you don't mind getting into a more regular routine--having two new babies is going to change so many of your usual routines anyway, what's one more? Besides, you'll either be doing laundry or taking out trash.

Escher--Go for it! Once it starts growing in it looks just like it always does when it's long.

Seraf--some men do (obviously). But I don't know very many at all who will wear a skirt because it crosses gender norms that run pretty deep. Even guys who are totally unconcerned with mainstream ideals of masculinity don't seem to wear them in my experience (unless it's a kilt, but even those are rare). I'm with Carmen on the bra thing, and the fact that I don't like my breasts flopping all over the place when I'm moving--I would prefer to have them strapped down so I can move (or run!) without thinking about them.

AOTD--we try to be somewhat respectful of nap and bedtimes, but sometimes things come up. And we do try pretty often to have naptime fall on a drive someplace, so we can use the time to get where we're going and have a rested baby once we're there. She's on a schedule with daycare, and turns into a screaming pumpkin at her bedtime, so we more or less stick to that timing.
 
#182 ·
It's Baba's Day at our house! Baba has requested waffles for dinner, so be it! Whoo hoo!

Plus it's Carfree Day in our neighbourhood, so when DP get's home we're going to go enjoy the festivities. Circus performers, musicians, vendors, street food, plus all our friends and neighbours enjoying strolling down the middle of what is usually a very busy city street! Fun!

The kids and I are going to go march down the road with the Carnival Band before lunch. And then come home for nap. (see below)

AOTD: We come home for nap/quiet time, unless we're traveling. I like the respite in the middle of the day, and it helps me not plan too much to do. Unless we're on a day trip, or travelling, in which case I'm a firm believer that babies and kids will sleep when they need to.

I come home more for me, so I can nurse him down, make myself a nice iced coffee and read a book while E has quiet time.

It makes for a nice rhythm to the day ... and we live in a very walkable neighbourhood, and we don't plan much further abroad (unless we're full-out traveling) so we're usually not far from home.
 
#183 ·
AOTD: We used to try and get home for DD's naps. During the newborn phase we didn't - she would sleep anywhere so we didn't stress about it. When she got a bit older and was still napping twice a day we would try really hard to be home for them. DD was never a good napper until she was older but I would regularly nap with her so it was more for me to be home so I could stretch out and she would nap longer with me beside her. She sleeps very easily (still does) in the car though so if we were out in the car then she napped there sometimes if we didn't make it home in time. I would imagine we'll do something similar with this next baby but I'll have to wait and see what type of rhythm he or she follows.
 
#184 ·
QOTD We were super strict w/ our 3 y/o's naps--we were home for them if at all possible. For awhile tho' it was really hard because he napped 2 hours in the am and 3 in the pm--so 5 hours a day and we lived too far away from anywhere to go anywhere during the awake time. DS2 is already (at 5 weeks) consolidating his daytime sleep (long morning nap, long afternoon nap, evening nap and then sleep for the night--clearly a different beast than his brother!) and clearly prefers sleeping in his rock and play (reflux makes lying flat uncomfortable for him). I'm a little concerned about being trapped at home all winter with a 3 y/o and a kiddo who needs to nap at home...

Of course, life doesn't stop for kid number 2...and I think the biggest difference will be that when we totally mess up his naps (and he is cranky/miserable) we will understand that we're doing something exceptional and/or that he'll survive it (and we'll be okay!). Perspective we didn't have with the first born (of course he has been a challenging night sleeper).

Otherwise, we've been traveling and it's been rough. The baby has been a trooper and sleeping like a champ. Allergies/asthma/cold have conspired to give us a cough ridden, exhausted and wheezy 3 y/o (he's up coughing in the night a lot--and we had a night where we had to give him his asthma meds and they made him manic...up until 3:30am and then the baby woke up for an hour and then big boy woke up at 6am...). Soooo, this morning we've parked ourselves in the hotel and let him watch oodles of television...this afternoon we'll visit great grandma and their other mom will head over to the nursing home to see great grandpa (he had a bad stroke last month and has pneumonia, so between big boy's cold and having a newborn we won't be taking the kids in).
 
#185 ·
AOTD -we were very careful to be home during naps. She took long naps and it was the only way for her to feel/act good in the evening. If we were out and about, she did not nap very well and it was challenging evening. We eventually started going out during the day on the weekends when she was with us all day instead of with my mother throughout the week. But she was older, like 3 1/2 and down to a medium length afternoon nap. This led to her being impossible to take naps with us when we were home, but she still took afternoon naps with my mother throughout the week. If my mother did keep her out and about through her nap time, we could tell the difference, even if she got a nap in the car on the way home or in between stops. Then it turned into night time being impossible when she DID nap, so we cut out the afternoon nap completely at 4 yrs and a few months.

On another sleeping note... DD has been so difficult to go to sleep at night between asking for things, telling us things she forgot, being scared to be alone, or just "not sleepy." So a few nights ago I decided to try a different approach. We did bedtime normal, with teeth brushing, potty, a story, her sound machine, her twilight turtle, a spill proof thermos of water and kisses goodnight, but I added the lamp being turned on and told her that she was big enough to go to sleep when she wanted to, but the only rules were, she couldn't come out of her room unless to potty and she had to go herself without calling for me, she couldn't call me in the room, she would need to pull the covers up on herself when she decided to lay down and she had be in bed when I left the room and I would come in later when she was asleep to turn out her lamp. This was a miraculous change! It totally worked! I haven't even heard her up and about and playing, seems like she has went to sleep right away all 4 nights. I am waiting for this to backfire on me though, like the exciting-ness/new-ness will wear off and we will be back to where we were. Do you think I am giving her too much freedom at almost 5 years old???
 
#186 ·
S+B, if she's waking rested, it seems fine to me. One of my kids is allowed to read before sleep but the other isn't, it totally depends on the kid.

CaNanny, traveling with babies who nap a lot is not too bad. We get up super early and they sleep for 4-5 hours in the car. We stop for breakfast and potty/diapers, move around a bit and back in the car for talking and nap. Repeat for lunch. After the afternoon nap we need a longer break. We can do 8 hours in the car pretty easily that way. If your boys are still taking an evening nap, so much the better for you.

S went to bed at 7:30 last night. Up at 6 this morning to pee and be a happy guy. It's not even 7 and he's asleep again. He usually sleeps from 9:30 to 8:30, so now I'm up and tired.
 
#187 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by esenbee2 View Post

AOTD -we were very careful to be home during naps. She took long naps and it was the only way for her to feel/act good in the evening. If we were out and about, she did not nap very well and it was challenging evening. We eventually started going out during the day on the weekends when she was with us all day instead of with my mother throughout the week. But she was older, like 3 1/2 and down to a medium length afternoon nap. This led to her being impossible to take naps with us when we were home, but she still took afternoon naps with my mother throughout the week. If my mother did keep her out and about through her nap time, we could tell the difference, even if she got a nap in the car on the way home or in between stops. Then it turned into night time being impossible when she DID nap, so we cut out the afternoon nap completely at 4 yrs and a few months.

On another sleeping note... DD has been so difficult to go to sleep at night between asking for things, telling us things she forgot, being scared to be alone, or just "not sleepy." So a few nights ago I decided to try a different approach. We did bedtime normal, with teeth brushing, potty, a story, her sound machine, her twilight turtle, a spill proof thermos of water and kisses goodnight, but I added the lamp being turned on and told her that she was big enough to go to sleep when she wanted to, but the only rules were, she couldn't come out of her room unless to potty and she had to go herself without calling for me, she couldn't call me in the room, she would need to pull the covers up on herself when she decided to lay down and she had be in bed when I left the room and I would come in later when she was asleep to turn out her lamp. This was a miraculous change! It totally worked! I haven't even heard her up and about and playing, seems like she has went to sleep right away all 4 nights. I am waiting for this to backfire on me though, like the exciting-ness/new-ness will wear off and we will be back to where we were. Do you think I am giving her too much freedom at almost 5 years old???
I don't think that's too much freedom at all. It sounds like she's getting more independent and is ready to show it!
 
#189 ·
seraf, saw your shirts on FB...I love them! I think we'll steal your idea this year!! We are planning on attending but it will depend if baby is born by then. If yes, I'll likely skip it but if I'm still pregnant I'll be there! Our pride weekend is on our BC Day long weekend - weekend before the first Monday in August.
 
#190 ·
Carmen, the shirts were super easy. Shay "high five(d)" the shirts and we used Soren's foot as a stamp. The hands were Sara's idea and she was right, they're way cute. Now the only question is if they should match or not. They're going with me Friday and her Saturday.
 
#192 ·
Seraf: It's neat that Pride had a kids area. It looks like fun. We got the Construction Zone book that you recommended from the library, and our little guy thinks it is great!

AOTD: We attended the pride parade, and it was fun but hot.

Esenbee: That sounds like a fantastic bedtime solution! How is it working now?

Wishin: Is your big guy coughing less now? How does it feel to have two kids?

Hi to everyone else!
 
#193 ·
That looks like a good time!

Edie's getting more ornery than she used to be, which is cute and also really frustrating. She's started throwing her food on the floor during meals (while grinning at us, of course) and standing up in the bathtub (which has an uneven bottom and hard metal sides, so we can't just let her do it or she'll fall down). It's kind of exhausting. If anyone has suggestions about curbing this kind of insouciance, I'm all ears!

AOTD--we kicked things off with a lovely, low-key picnic in the park for queer families yesterday afternoon. It was so pleasant to just sit and eat and watch the kids play and meet new people but not be overwhelmed by noise and crowds. We're planning to go to a pride kid event next Saturday afternoon, the Melissa Etheridge concert that every lesbian in a 100-mile radius is apparently attending on Saturday night, and as much of the Chicago parade as we can on Sunday, depending on how Edie feels about crowds and noise this year. Last year she slept through it, but we're in a different phase now, so I'm not expecting to get through all of it this year. And possibly whatever kind of (hopefully celebratory!) rally thing that will happen after SCOTUS rules on the two marriage cases. It's going to be a busy week.
 
#194 ·
Isa, she just started that stuff? You've had quite the reprieve. Soren has been standing in the tub since he learned to stand. You might tell her that she has to be safe in the tub or be all done with the bath. Or you might just tell her to sit down before resorting to cutting bath time short. With food, I still only give Soren small amounts at a time to keep most of it off the floor.

Escher, there's also one about somebody's steam shovel. It's much wordier, but it's fairly popular as well.

None of our family made it to the parade. It just got too hot. The family area opened the day before, so I took the boys that day and DP tried for the parade.
 
#195 ·
escher, it's still going okay. We had a few nights of needing paper to draw pictures or wanting to show us her art work, but generally it has went smoothly
 
#196 ·
I have to work and will miss the pride parade here, but we will go to the festival with the kids.

We just got home from the road trip. All in all it was a success, that is, once we started the steroids, antibiotics and nebulizer for our croupy, asthmatic and bronchitis ridden first born.
 
#197 ·
Hello:)

Happy pride month !!!!we weren't going to go but figured in light of the Supreme Court rulings we feel we should celebrate
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so we the dyed diaper covers for the babies.. They also have I love mommies shirts and rainbow leggings
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we r even gonna decorate the strollers ... We r skipping the parade on Sunday and just doing the **** march
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In other news the boys are 4 months old ! Getting more fun and August is sleeping in his crib 7-8 hrs a night !!! The other two are still in rock n plays and sleep 5 most nights..., a and G are drooly teethers and we go through a ton of bibs around here :

My back is killing me... The boys are getting toooo heavy
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I wish we had extra cash to go to the chiro ... But hoping my body adjusts to lugging these 12 pounders around ....

Seraf Ty for the reply on our road trip ... Going there ill have help heading back ill be solo so the 12 hr drive might b more like 16-18:)

Naps... Most days I try to be home for their naps ( the two big ones) but like yesterday we were at a big ol queer play date ( I got to meet cj from this board) and August slept on the grass on his tummy under an umbrella for 1.5 hrs and the other two in their infant seats ... But I had to take them home for their 2 nd nap
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I am trying to be sure they are flexible enough to sleep anywhere
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#198 ·
CaNanny, Our trip with 4 kids and 2 adults took 12 and 13 hours for 9 hours of drive time. And LOL about lugging 12 pounders around. Ours are 21 and 30 but one walks. I met twins who were 30 pounds and not walking yet. Their mom is strong! Your boys will start to feel lighter when they learn to sit. They carry their own weight somewhat which is really nice.

Wishin, how is everyone settling in at home?

SNB, how is bedtime going there?

QOTD: Canada Day just passed and US Independence Day is today. How did/will you celebrate?

AOTD: We will celebrate by not sleeping due to fireworks getting the boys wound up all evening. Last night they were up until 10:30 and 11 because the fireworks were so exciting. And the sirens. "Boom! Boom! Wooooooo!" We didn't go out, we could just hear them from the house.
 
#199 ·
Oh, hey. We won't sleep either, because it feels like a war zone around here with all the fireworks going off. Thinking about seeing if anyone wants to come over and picnic this afternoon, but no real plans. This weekend my extended family is in town and we're having a celebratory picnic/croquet tournament. Other than that, I'll me making sure we all get dressed in patriotic colors, because I am a dork.

It's been a long week around here. Edie got roseola, which I had never heard of. Basically, she had a pretty high fever for 5 days with no other symptoms, on top of teething. Then she got a rash and we could confirm the diagnosis, but it was stressful not knowing what was going on. Luckily it sounds like it's something you only get once, so hopefully we're done with it now. We also learned the sad news that one of DP's uncles has an aggressive form of cancer. Since I have a cousin who was also recently diagnosed, and my aunt passed away in April from the disease, too, it's starting to feel like everyone is battling cancer now. I hate it. Both cousin and uncle are optimistic and have plans for treatment, but it's just exhausting and so sad to think about them having to go through all of that.
 
#200 ·
Bedtime is going great! Still working beautifully. A lot of times she goes right to sleep. It's quite relaxing to not have all the requests and whining.

AOTD -it was raining and didn't let up til about 7
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put a damper on everything. But I did get a lot of tidying up done. We will go to lake about an hour away and stay the weekend. (We dont camp out anymore because the family now has two trailers on property there. It has gotten very lame recently.) For 4th of July, the lake has fireworks every year over the dam, so all the kiddos really enjoy that.
 
#201 ·
Ummm, we are still not home (well, we were for a few days), in Colorado visiting my side of the family. It's the first time my wife has met them (we've been together 11 years...) and the first time our kids have seen/met their cousins.

All in all, it's going really well...DS1 is exhausted from all the fun but without the complicating factor of illness this trip has been mostly very enjoyable (the first night was horrific sleep wise, but that was just the whole new bed/new place thing).

So in DS2's first two months of life he's: been to 4 states, on a thirty hour road trip and on a plane, been to the zoo, the beach, and the mountains...

This kind of travel/escapades with a little are not our standard and are well beyond our comfort zone...

but so far, we are all alive, all fed and mostly sleeping ;)
 
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