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#1 ·
Have a baby, toddler or kid? Want to talk about all things related to parenting within your queer family? Welcome.

Expectant parents
Prettyisa

New parents with babies

Gamitzer
Rs11
Escher
Splashing puddle
New n young
Sphinxy
CaNanny
Planet
KnittingTigers
PokeyAC
erinTNgirl
maxK
Esenbee2
Mrs&Mrs
Carmen358
Wishin'&Hopin'
Cocobird

Parents of little kids aged 1-4

Escher
Seraf
OneMommyOneMama
CI Mama
Wishin'&hopin'
Carmen358
Heart-n-bones
Staling&Diesel
PrettyIsa

Parents of big kids aged 5-12

Owlyce
Gamitzer
Smilezalot
Cocobird
Seraf
TaviPDX
Esenbee2
KnittingTigers
Mandarie

Parents of teens aged 13-19

Smilezalot
Cocobird
Mrs&mrs
Queermomma
 
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#253 ·
Max, seven hours?!? Jealous!

QOTD: My DP (who is trans) would sooner swim with hungry crocodiles than bear a child. We talked once about me carrying his eggs, but it seemed like a lot of money and hassle. I would like to have adopted number two, but we're currently in a state with shifty laws. I thought maybe we could adopt number three someday, after we get new jobs in less repressive locales, but then we had our queer oops and had two and three together. Now we are DONE for ourselves, though I would consider carrying a baby for my best friend and his partner.

AFU, the twins turned three months this weekend! Where is the time going?!? I'm back at work, which is sort of nice (grown up conversation) and sort of exhausting (sleep? what sleep?), and of course, I miss the babies all day. My DP is currently out of town spending time with his dad, who has cancer, so I've been solo parenting three kids. And working. Luckily my mom is here helping. Next weekend I'm flying cross country with all thee kids, by myself, to join DP. And no, there is not a direct flight. Wish me luck!

Breastfeeding has been pretty up and down. I'm BFAR (breast feeding after a reduction), so my supply is super low. The twins almost exclusively had bottles for the first five or six weeks, and I was pumping all the time. Then, at the moment that I said eff it, I'm done, they miraculously latched on and started nursing. So, now I only pump when I'm at work, and I nurse them when I'm home. They need bottles afterwards still, so I don't think they get that much milk from me, but I do feel my breasts get less full after they nurse, so they're getting SOMETHING. I'm still dealing with some soreness on one side- trying to be vigilant about good latches. Being at work is exhausting because they go to bed soon after I get home, so the middle of the night is the only time I have to nurse them. Nursing both (I'm not coordinated enough to tandem yet) and then feeding both bottles takes about an hour. Several times in the night. Yawn...

Here are some pics:
 
#254 ·
Knitting, you got them to latch? That's awesome! Would a lactaid or SNS make night feedings faster somehow? I mean, if you are giving them both anyway? You don't even have to heat it. It warms to body temp through the thin little tubes. Tandem in the double football is probably easiest. My boys won't do it that way anymore, but they fight less that way. Currently my guys lay alongside me while I lay on my back or S sits on my lap and S2 sits on his lap, but not at night.
 
#255 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by seraf View Post

Knitting, you got them to latch? That's awesome! Would a lactaid or SNS make night feedings faster somehow? I mean, if you are giving them both anyway? You don't even have to heat it. It warms to body temp through the thin little tubes. Tandem in the double football is probably easiest. My boys won't do it that way anymore, but they fight less that way. Currently my guys lay alongside me while I lay on my back or S sits on my lap and S2 sits on his lap, but not at night.
I know lots of folks like the SNS and/or Lact-Aid. I tried both and I just hate them. And, it took my kids FOREVER to nurse through one. I decided I wanted breastfeeding to be a natural thing (pop kid on boob, not fussing with tubes, tape, etc.), even if that meant doing bottles afterwards.
 
#256 ·
Cool enough, tigers, I was just thinking about speed. While we used tape a decade ago, I've been reading about people just sliding it in the corner of baby's mouth more recently. I know larger tubing and raising the milk higher are supposed to increase the speed, but since I have no direct experience I don't really know. I think bottles are easier than tubes, I was just thinking about doing it all tandem in one step to speed it up. I do know people with singletons who are up feeding for an hour, so you're not going all that slow.
 
#259 ·
Seraf- He is five weeks old and about 9 lbs now. His head is in the 90% percentile and this rest of his body about 35%. My tattoo says "yes, definitely", a message from the magic 8 ball for DP and I when we were deciding if we should live in the same state and start a relationship.
stillheart.gif
 
#261 ·
Max, how can you not just stare at that gorgeous face ALL DAY LONG?

Where are you and can I come over there and coo at him while you do Important Things?

I need to sing to that baby.

I am so thrilled that he's YOURS!!!
 
#262 ·
starling&diesel, I live in SF and you are more than welcome to visit anytime you are in the area. I do stare at him most of the time. He is lovely. I have to admit I was a little afraid about having a baby boy and wondering how I would relate to him. It's actually so simple, he's wonderful and I love him immensely. I had no idea I could have such a connection before.
 
#264 ·
Max: What a cutie!

Seraf: Look at that kid go!

Knitting: They are so sweet! I hope you get some sleep soon.

Wishin: That's an interesting decision you're facing. Do either of you have a specific desire to go through the pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding experience again? Or do either of you specifically want to avoid going through the support role again? It seems like it would depend a fair bit on exactly how bad your DW's pregnancy was (i.e. can you all survive another one) and how much you don't want to breastfeed again. I'll be interested to hear what you decide.

Pokey: I love the bath picture!

Hi to everyone else!

AFM: Our little guy's sleep is totally crap right now and we're all tired. Blah. But other than that things are going well around here!
 
#265 ·
Thanks everyone for playing along with my question about gestating!

Max--Aiden is gorgeous! How wonderful.

Escher-hope the sleep clears up soon!

Knitting--I second Escher on the hopes for sleep!

AFM--the baby wakes up 1-2 times a night (seriously, didn't know such wonders existed!) and is rounding up to 13 pounds or so. He is healthy and happy and our only concern is the possibility of ptosis of one of his eyes (one of his eyes doesn't open all the way--best case scenario is that it is only a cosmetic issue. Worst case scenario is surgery down the road. Middle ground, we get to have a baby pirate whose good eye is patched for a year or two). Big boy is being very much 3--and I am not loving 3. It seems to be an age of extremes--volatile, extreme tantrums one minute, laughter and joking the next. He has taken to screaming "ow, ow, ow, ow" during tantrums (when no one is near him, while he thrashes in "the big comfy chair" where he has his calm down time)...thankfully, our neighbors have all seen some of the bigger melt downs at this point and know we aren't beating him. And, Escher...regarding your question. It would make more sense for me to carry our next kiddo (my profession is less lucrative, I'm the SAHM, DW has PCOS, I got pregnant "easily") but I'm SO sensitive to hormonal shifts that the idea of going through all the hormonal variations of pregnancy and nursing is an awful thought. But, I kind of would like a birth "do-over"...and since I'm more aware of what the mental health facets of my hormonal sensitivity are, I may be able to take some more proactive steps. And, to add to the pro-me side, DW had some third stage issues during birth and we don't know how likely those issues are to reoccur. But, either way would ultimately be fine--I could see us alternating who tries and see who gets pregnant first. Who knows!
 
#266 ·
PokeyAC- This is the carrier I was using in the photo. It's an Infantino Sash; but I have a Moby that he will stay in for about 1 hour at the most. DP uses the ErgoBaby carrier and he seems to be fine with that too.
 
#270 ·
Seraf- the video of the boys funny! We have the same thing going on here with J and L. They're so much fun to watch.. But omg they do fight! Do your boys fight ? Our little L is a bully at times but very much a girly girly. J on the other hand is a boy loves cars but is always getting hurt bumps bruises... Sigh.. 4th of July we spend it in the er he climb out his crib and busted he's forehead open 5 stitches! :-(Scary none of my othe 3 get hurt as much :)
How are all ur kiddos and Sara doing?
Thanks for the invite I felt kinda lost :)
 
#273 ·
esenbee2- Thank you for the bottle recommendations! I got the Lansinoh Momma and the Tommee Tippee bottles, but they are both way faster in flow than I would have liked. I completely cut out bottles for a while, so we can get the bf thing down, which seems to be helping.

maxK- Thank you for the SNS offer! Your little one is adorable!! We are starting to get a better latch now (2 weeks later).

pokey- Bath time pic is so sweet! Love the bucket! We have the flower that goes in the sink, which is pretty sweet, too. Side-lying is working better now but only on the left side??

QOTW: My DP and I both wanted to carry originally, but I was more gung-ho than she was. We actually both attempted to inseminate last year, but I was the successful one. Now that I have had DS, she sees how difficult it was for me, and she is thinking twice about carrying next...

seraf- Your boys are really sweet!!

AFU: BFing is going a little better. Everyday is different. I started using the nipple shells again to protect them in between feedings. I've also seen the LC again, and it really helped. My town does not show up on the LLL website, so I am going to call the LC back tomorrow to find out the location and times for meetings. The biggest problem now is how sore they get after feedings. I was worried about vasospasm or thrush, but the symptoms do not match up. I'm hoping everyday will continue to get better...time time time!!! On a good note, DS is growing so fast, which means he is getting enough to eat.



 
#274 ·
such cute pics erin!

answer to a QOTD a little bit back about sillyness... this morning DD randomly started talking about Halloween. She said she was going to be "a cracker." When I asked her about it, she said "A cheese cracker cuz I love them so much! And it's going to be made out of cheese crackers so when I get home, I can eat it! Cheese crackers are my favorite!" I just found that to be so cute, lol!

Lately, I've been really surprised by DD and how well she been handling disappointment these past 3 days. Saturday and Sunday, she did so well in the stores when she asked for something she saw and I said no. She just said, "Okay, Mommy, I'll put it back." And this morning she wanted the breakfast rice that my mother-in-law and I fix all the time. When I told her that I didn't have the rice ready and we could have it tomorrow morning, she just said okay. Normally I would have gotten told that I needed to make it NOW and a huge fit and crying and tears and a broken little heart.... I sure hope this new outlook she has on life will last!
 
#275 ·
Wow, hard to believe I'm writing here with an eight day old DS update! He's doing great, is super chill (so far), surpassed his birth weight at 6 days and is super sweet :) We had to do a couple of post partum visits back to the hospital to have his bilirubin tested but it started going down the last test so we avoided the light therapy....which we had to do with DD and it sucked. He is starting to have some alert time during the day which is super fun. DD would not tolerate being laid down for longer than a few minutes for the first 3 weeks or so of her life but this little guy will sleep between us in bed for a couple of hours or an hour here and there. It's making the transition a bit easier for sure. DD is adjusting fairly well but is going to bed way too late and a bit cranky in the late afternoons as a result. DP's brother and sister in law are in from out of town this weekend though and they brought her her first 2 wheel pedal bike so she's in heaven with the new bike and the extra people to chat with.

I'm doing fairly well, my tear is healing well and I just started taking my placenta capsules today. One thing I'm struggling with a bit is DS's latch on the right breast. I'm guessing I have a strong let down and he slightly pulls back and then clamps down again and holy crap it hurts :( So far I've been just unlatching him every time he does it and relatching him again but my nipple on that side is getting crazy sore. He doesn't do it (as much) on the left side. My doula is coming for a post partum visit on Tuesday so I'll ask for her advice as well but I thought I'd check here to see if anyone had any suggestions.
 
#276 ·
Hello

Back from our very long and enjoyable trip to AZ.. it was 11 days without DP and I am tired... LOL... the boys were awful on drive down . we left at their bed time.. and spent about 5 hours crying off and on.. it was hard... now on way home ( day time) was MUCH better.. they slept and rarely cried... go figure.. I had fun intoducing them to family and friends.. and we got to meet Desert Sunsets and her DP and their gorgeous daughter Everleigh

The babies are 5.5 months.. time is going by way to fast.. they are so happy and love to play and roll and chew everything in sight.. and drool.. the puddles of drool LOL :)

Carmen congrats again hes adorable!

Max.. OMG AIDEN Is sooooooo cute! I will be calling you guys next week so we can have a baby play date! I cant wait!

Erin.. cute pics.. is you want a really slow nipple go with dr browns preemie.. it has a very slow flow!!!

Knitting.. sleep.. oh i wish All of the boys were sleeping.. so far Aug sleeps 7 hours.. Gage sleeps 6 but ONLY if in bed with us.. and Finn is never consistent.. some nights he can do 6 hours.. some its every 3-4.. we are starting to sleep train but with no CIO...

Hi to everyone else!!!

here is a few new pix









 
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