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-   -   Queer, Pregnant, & Parenting- July, August, & September 2013! (

sotohana 06-30-2013 10:04 PM

Welcome Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting folks!

This is the summer thread, for the months of July, August, & September in 2013.

If you want to be added, just post in bold with your due date. Also, if you have recently had your babe(s), please chime in with the name and birth date in bold. If your information is not correct or has changed, please also post in bold so that I can get it corrected!!

Pregnant - Due Dates

October 2013

Sphinxy, EDD 10/10/2013

November 2013


granite, EDD 11/5/2013

escher, EDD 11/24/2013

sotohana, EDD 11/25/2013

baby.fatty, EDD 11/30/2013


December 2013

Amt1015, EDD 12/5/2013

February 2014


BreadandCoffee, EDD 2/22/14

March 2014

JenMostOften & justrose13 (formerly wehrli), EDD 3/13/14

April 2014

Lizbian, EDD 4/23/14


MrsandMrs & Bigfoot, twin boys (O & M), born 8/13/13

Esenbee, twin boys, born 8/11/13

Carmen358, London, born 7/26/13

Outdoorsy, baby boy, born 7/3/13

erinTNgirl, Saxon Nash, born 6/28/13

Tourneymama, Anakin, born 6/27/13

PokeyAC, Charlie Vaughn, born 6/26/13

CocoBird, Amadora Charlotte, born 6/21/13

MaxK, Aiden, born 6/18/13

easttowest, Nathaniel, born 6/18/13

Cordelia15, baby girl, born 6/11/13

wishin'&hopin', baby boy, born 5/12/13

SplashingPuddle, baby girl, born 5/2/13

KnittingTigers, Theron River & Jane Sofia, born 4/27/13

lisedea, Sawyer, Elliott, & Miles, born 3/24/13

Cananny, August, Gage & Finn, born 2/24/13

KateAdele, baby girl, born 12/12

Nosreves, Elio Sol, 12/5/12 - 12/6/12

MidwifeStephPDX, Lucie Rain, born 10/25/12

Planet, Wylie Blue, born 9/9/12

DesertSunsets, Everleigh Jane, born 9/1/12

dandylez, Adair Seamus, born 6/28/12

KSDoulaMama, surro-babe, born 6/27/12

SwtRainbowBrite, Riley Sophia, born 6/25/12

PleasantlyFurious, Zoe Aurora, born 6/22/12

SmilingSara & Seraf, Soren Dare, born 5/2/12

PrettyIsa, Edith Josephine, born 4/18/12

Ad Astra, boy/girl twins, born 4/11/12

Onemommyonemama, Sage S., born 3/21/12

Qmama42, baby girl, born 1/18/12

Indigo, baby girl A, born 1/8/12

CrystalPerez, Cohen Anthony, born 12/12/11

glassesgirlnj, Annamaria Sigyn Estelle, born 11/28/11

Mami2mami, Layla Janae, born 11/22/11

DAWNMP1, Raya Sylvan, born 11/10/11

2ezforyou, Jagger Stone, born 11/2/11

Seraf & SmilingSara, Shay Brock, born 11/1/11

Escher, baby boy, born 10/24/11

Julietea, Rowan Kathryn, born 10/16/11

Starling&Diesel, Hawksley Solace, born 10/2/11

AmyPDX, Alexander Cole, born 8/7/11

AmandaHope, Lilah Nyx, born 7/24/11

Pigirl, baby boy, born 7/22/11

Mizyellow, Harrison, born 7/20/11

Painefaria, Keegan, born 5/23/11

Cejae, Emmerson & Parker, born 5/22/11

Imogenlily, Soloman Dov, born 5/3/11

2HappyMamas, baby, born 4/16/11

Bttrflygypsy, Elliot Graham, born 4/15/11

LibraryLady, Alice Meredith, born 4/8/11

Wehrli & jenmostoften, Silas Scott, born 4/4/11

Gumshoegirl007, Addison Alexis Réal, born 3/24/11

Beastie, Esther, born 3/13/11

Burg, Reed Kylie, born 2/05/11

Korey, baby girl T, born 1/30/11

Coco99, Chloe & Charlie, born 1/30/11

Abeecharmer, twin girls, born 1/10/11

Recovering from Losses, Held in Our Hearts 








Amt1015 06-30-2013 10:10 PM

I know I don't post much. But I keep up. May I be added to the list too plz. Due dec 5. Thanks smile.gif

sotohana 06-30-2013 10:21 PM

Absolutely! Congrats, Amt1015!!! You must be about 17 or 18 weeks along now, eh? 

Amt1015 06-30-2013 10:26 PM

Yes! 17w 5d to be exact. I lost my job 3 days before finding out so it's more of a pain to post but like I said I keep up. I'm going to try to be better at posting now that I don't want to sleep 20 hrs a day.

granite 07-01-2013 11:52 AM

Thanks for the new thread, soto!


I'm glad to hear from you, amt... You're so far along now, hurray! I hear you on the sleep front... Though I gotta say, from my view here at 22 weeks, I actually miss the total exhaustion a little! Crazy, no? But now my back hurts and keeps me awake at night, even when I'm tired... Whereas before, nothing could keep me awake. Ah, the grass is always greener!

sotohana 07-01-2013 01:50 PM

I also hear you on the sleepiness, Amt. While that has gone away for the most part, I'm still physically exhausted so much of the time. I get out of breath so easily and just want to do nothing but lay down. It may or may not pass for me, but I'm trying to give myself a break cause it's only 21 more weeks or so. 


Congrats Cordelia, East2West, Cocobird, Pokey & Tourneymama! So many adorable babies have been born these last few weeks! It seems our next big batch of babies is coming up in November. Keep those photos coming of your growing babes in the meantime! I can't get enough :)


AFU- Our trip to NM was really nice! Though it was insanely hot there, we were able to stay in A/C environments most of the time. At one point I heard that the wedding reception we were going to on our last weekend there was going to be outside and I had an actual panic attack about having to be out in the heat. Turns out that it wasn't as hot as they predicted it was going to be so I was totally fine. Also DW is so sweet- she told her sister that our nephew was just going to have to understand if some people couldn't stay the whole time because of the heat and it being outdoors. I felt so bad at the thought of having to leave our nephew's wedding early, so it was a huge relief that the weather cooperated. I guess it was actually a heat wave going on, though it just seemed to me like normal summer weather for Albuquerque. Besides the wedding we also were treated to a really sweet baby shower on our first weekend. DW's high school friend threw it for us at her house in Placitas, NM- just outside ABQ. Lots of family and friends showed up and it was just so nice to see all of them and celebrate our baby :)


Since we've been back we've had some house guests- a friend and her two little boys. They are super cute, but also really wild. Honestly it's brought on some really severe panic attacks for me. I've been worrying about how I'm going to handle being a parent and if I really want this baby and other crazy thoughts like that. Finally the other day I broke down and told DW and since then we've made a plan to get me some help with this anxiety. The anxiety has been happening since the beginning of my pregnancy and its felt like more than just regular pregnancy anxiety the whole time, but its gotten decidedly worse in the past few weeks. I was seeing a psychiatrist, but she was dismissive- saying that she didn't think I was that bad and that my meds were probably fine. I told her the first appt. that I do have a counselor I go to whom I really work well with, but that I needed some help with figuring out my meds because I didn't feel they were working anymore. Well, this last appt I told her that I had decided not to try going off my medication right now (I take Wellbutrin), but that I'd like a new prescription and she proceeded to tell me that she's not prescribing anymore and she is going into retirement. Wtf?! Why did I just waste like 5 appts with her if she wasn't able/willing to prescribe if that's what I decided was the best for me? Anyway, this weekend what I did was text my midwife who gave me the name of another CNM who does work with medication during pregnancy. I've called her practice and her secretary is on the case to get me an appt. soon. Phew. I don't know what she'll say about the Wellbutrin or if I may need some additional anxiety medication or what, but I'm just looking forward to talking to a midwife about this issue and maybe getting some real help. Don't get me wrong- my counselor has been very helpful too, but I just feel like my anxiety is not well enough controlled with just the counseling appts. I have the ability in non-panic moments to see things clearly, but in panic moments, which are happening so often it just feels like my brain gets stuck on repeat and I end up sobbing and not able to breathe and its just not good... Has anyone else dealt with this or know of anyone else that has? I just feel like I haven't heard a lot about anxiety disorders during pregnancy.


Changing subjects, we are 19 weeks along today and have our big ultrasound next Monday! Yay! We're still planning not to find out the sex, but I'm super excited to see the baby :) I'm finally showing and I can really feel how big my belling is getting. It gets in the way of things now. Ha! I love it. 

seraf 07-01-2013 03:31 PM

Welcome to all the new babies!


SotoHannah, I had terrible anxiety during my second pregnancy. I didn't get meds, but in retrospect know that I should have.  Also, your own kid doesn't have to be so wild. I just spent a few days with my nephew and the child was amazingly energetic.  My two toddlers aren't that wild and they ask permission before doing most new things. Shoot, I don't think all 4 of my kids together had as many disciplinary issues as he did.

wishin'&hopin' 07-01-2013 04:43 PM

Congratulations to:




and welcome to: Anakin, Charlie, Amadora, Nathaniel and "baby girl"!!!


I hope you are all settling into the new routine or routines or the new level of bliss or the insanity of it all OR everything that can be with a new baby!!!!  


We are enjoying our mellow fellow and managing our high maintenance big boy (and enjoying him when he's not "working the system" as it were).  Adding a second child has been easier in some ways and much harder in others--the easy is that we are WAY calmer about baby stuff and he seems to be a "sleeper" the hard is how challenging our older child has been since his brother's birth (DS1 is pretty mellow but also VERY sensitive, so the level of emotional intensity is a bit crazy at the moment)!  


Soto--I am all about "better living through chemistry" when warranted, going back on an anti-anxialitic was one of my better decisions of 2013...and as I frequently reminded my wife, when we birth children we aren't starting with crazy toddlers/preschoolers--and that our kids will be shaped and molded by us and our parenting.  And, when I wasn't parenting, I found other people's kids absolutely exhausting fairly quickly!!!

esenbee2 07-02-2013 07:41 AM

drive-by update....  28.4 weeks...  the times I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee has increased to 3....  so f*ing exhausting.....    at our last ultrasound at 27.5, one of the boy's head was measuring 29 weeks.  They each gained 1 lb. in the 1.5 weeks since our last ultrasound.  I was so worried that they weren't growing enough because I was stuck at the same weight from week 16 til week 26....  I gained 2 more lbs. from 26 to 27.5 though!  Both of the boys are vertex and I'm hoping they stay that way for my best chance at vaginal birth.  Not sure of my last update of my doctor situation, but the maternal-fetal medicine specialist said things were great and there would be no problem with doing split care with a midwife/OB team or an OB.  I opted for an OB because I didn't like the OBs that had midwives (there are only two practices in my area and I already got kicked to curb by one).  My first appointment with the OB I chose is at 30 weeks.  The doctor had to review my chart first to see if they would take me on as a patient.  When they called with an appointment, they did say that I was "too high risk" to get in the labor tub...  What kind of crap is that?  I am wondering if the OB will budge on that or maybe another OB in the practice.  mrsandmrs, I too have been struggling with feelings of resentment of sorts with having a twin pregnancy because of how it changes all of the ideas and dreams I had of what this birth was going to be like.  I am still in mourning of the birthplan I had before getting pregnant and haven't gotten very far in the mourning process because of nothing being settled quite yet.  But, I wouldn't change these boys for anything, so it's quite an inner conflict going on... :(  That's all for now...


amt -congrats!  and good to see you around again!


granite - I hear ya on wanting to rather be tired all of the time and not being able to stay awake than to be dead tired and can't fall asleep because of being uncomfortable!    It's been that way for me for quite some time!  One thing that helped me is a pregnancy wedge under my belly.  I also have had a Snoogle for quite some time and it has helped too, but I think a firm pillow between my legs would have worked the same.

gamitzer 07-02-2013 11:41 AM

Wow, good to know what I'm getting myself into, in terms of going from tired all the time to lack of sleep! For now (8 weeks) I'll take the sleep! I yawn all day and fall asleep on the couch after dinner. Good times. We told my son (5.5) this past weekend and he is very excited to be a big brother. I wasn't going to tell him this early but he noticed I wasn't feeling well and not as active as usual, so I didn't want him to worry it was something negative. We also told our parents and they are super excited. Me and dp are both 35 so I think our families are really happy we are adding to our family sooner than later. I hope you all are doing ok in this heat-I'm barely pregnant and it's driving me crazy!

mrsandmrs 07-02-2013 10:24 PM

welcome to all the new babies and congrats to the new parents! i can remember (barely, but still) when we had the huge crashing wave of graduates from QC. it is hard to believe all those little people have arrived now! and what a good looking crop of little people they have turned out to be! 


esenbee - i can only sit here & nod in empathy. i totally know what you're talking about. 


all you first and second trimester people. what i've found (reporting live from 30.5 weeks) is that you completely lose the ability to sleep in the 3rd tri. oh, it's not that i am not tired - quite the contrary. i am completely exhausted. i could fall asleep at my desk every day. i could take 100 naps a day. but for the life of me, despite warm baths and aromatherapy and good sleep habits and massages and every pregnancy pillow on the market and sleeping pills and benadryl, there is virtually nothing under the sun that can help me sleep for very long. some nights, i sleep in 20-30 minute blocks. some nights, i might sleep for an hour at a time. yesterday, DW installed the A/C in our bedroom. i slept for two glorious hours at once!!!!! (with several stretches of 30-45 minutes on either side). I wake up for every reason you can imagine - I have to pee. My hips hurt. My back hurts. I'm uncomfortable. I'm too hot. The blankets are touching me. The blankets are not touching me. I had a bad dream. I had a good dream. I had an anxiety attack. I have a headache. The babies are moving. The babies are not moving. I am coughing. ETC. ETC. ETC. 


So, sleep every glorious minute that you can sleep right now. And dream of me while you are doing it! 



I am having a rough third trimester. My feet swell every day by 3pm no matter how much water I drink and elevating I do. i am measuring the size of a 37 week singleton pregnancy!! Babies are good, measuring over three pounds now and seem to be growing consistently. I am so thankful they have stayed so close in size - when twins become different sizes, shit gets serious. We toured the hospital where we're going to birth. We have a to-do list a mile long ( In retrospect, I wish I had accomplished more in the second trimester instead of talking myself out of it because it was "too early.") We graduated from our birthing class. We posted a job listing to hopefully find someone to cover for me at work while I'm on maternity leave, which was kind of a "whoa, this is real" moment for me. I am not looking forward to training someone to do my insane job. We've had our two baby showers, and I feel like our babies are totally showered and loved and welcomed by all the wonderful people we know. I'm convinced I'm developing a case of PUPPP, which I didn't even know existed until i got this insane rash and started google-ing. I have had a terrible, violent cough for the last 10 weeks, which has really put a damper on everything related to my pregnancy. They think I have asthmatic bronchitis, but no one seems very certain about how to treat it. My poor DW not only has to listen to my barking cough all day and night, but she spends a lot of time worrying about how much oxygen the twins & I are getting. I can't say that I'm "totally over" being pregnant--I actually LOVE being pregnant, but there are so many things to complain about, I think I give off the impression that I don't really like being pregnant. But I like growing people, feeling them squirm and punch around, and getting to know their distinct habits and movements. It is straight-up magic. But I am tired of the physical strain, exhaustion, and weird stuff like PUPPP and bronchitis. 


My mom has started to annoy me about the pregnancy and babies. She demanded to know "for sure" that there were "no fruit names" on our list (we firmly will not share our name preferences with her). I was mad because 1. i love the name huckleberry 2. she is already being judgemental about our name choices! She also said she certainly hopes I'm planning on an epidural and proceeded to lecture me for a long time about how great and necessary they are. This! from the woman who was paralyzed for the first several days of my brother's life by a bad batch of epidural medication! I just said that I was not going to get caught up in heroics about a natural birth (especially with twins - jesus christ, i am stubborn but not a fool) but that once you start consenting to interventions like epidurals and other things, it can set you up for more inventions that can become a c-section, and it is a major priority for me to not have a c-section. I mean, I am clearly doing everything in my power to NOT have a c-section. I hired a doula. I am getting frequent chiropractic care. I hired an OB who has an 11% c-section rate for singletons. It just seems like a really unnecessary, combative question to ask me about my pain management decisions at this point - like SO MANY things in pregnancy and parenting, it's a metaphor for my relationship with my mom, I guess. 


I guess I should stop by and vent more often so that I can keep things more concise. I hope everyone's pregnancies are going beautifully and you are able to find the grace and patience to get through the stressful stuff. xoxo

sotohana 07-02-2013 10:35 PM

Thanks for the support Wishin & Seraf. I'm feeling a little better today and just really looking forward to talking to this CNM. On the plus side our houseguests left this morning and though I am actually going to miss them, I was very happy to take our place back this morning and deep clean it this afternoon.


Gamitzer- glad to hear you are getting lots of sleep and that DP and DS are happy to let you get as much as you need! 


Esenbee- I hear you on the inner conflict as I've been feeling a lot of that too. That's a really tough one to navigate because so many messages exist that say we should be all happy and feel totally blissed out, but the truth of the matter is that pregnancy is really f'n hard! And sometimes full of disappointments and to boot its especially hard to deal with disappointment in pregnancy b/c of all these crazy hormones. So yeah...I don't have much to offer in terms of reassurance, but I can offer some hugs even if they are only virtual. hug2.gif

prettyisa 07-03-2013 08:41 AM

Mrs--Sorry about the sleep, and the feet! I never understood why people complained about swollen feet until mine did and MAN, do they hurt! A couple things struck me about your post. First of all, if you have PUPPPS, you know it (so you probably do)--go to a dermatologist who can give you some itch cream that might actually work. I got it after Edie was born (uncommon, but sadly possible) and wanted to just scratch until my fingers fell off. The itch cream helps a TON and might let you get some more rest. Also, any awful PUPPPS marks that look like horrible stretch marks will go completely away, if that's reassuring. As for names--I like Huckleberry! And your mom will, too, once she realizes that it's too late and she has no say in the matter. She got her chance to name a kid once, now it's your turn. (a more 'normal' middle name might placate her, but honestly, why should you have to placate someone who is going to be so mushy-in-love as soon as they get here that she'll forget she even had an opinion? My friend named her daughter Tuesday, and all grandparents have said exactly nothing nasty about it being an unusual name because they love love love her!). And finally, about epidurals--it's also up to you, and I think a choice better made in the moment than decided beforehand. How will you know what you want until you are there, facing the situation? But I wanted to reassure you that they don't necessarily lead to c-sections! I would recommend writing a really comprehensive birth plan. I know people think they are just so much trash, but I really feel like ours was respected, possibly because we had things listed in order of interventions and our requests at each stage. It helped me a lot to think through what I would want if I were in a situation where I would need a c-section, and how everyone could make that still be as positive an experience for our our family as possible. It didn't get to that point, but I think the staff respected that I had thought about it, so when things started to get intense they knew that I was aware of my options and didn't push anything on me.

mrsandmrs 07-03-2013 10:40 AM

isa - I wish Huckleberry was still on our list (he lost out in an early round of negotiations) just to spite my mom. She might drive me to a fruit name, dammit! Our doula has had a lot of really great advice about what we should have in our birth plan. I feel confident in her support and advice, since she's attended a quadrillion births with this specific OB at this specific hospital, and plenty of twin births to boot. I feel good about everything we're doing - I am just so annoyed that my mom has to interject her opinion on the matter like we haven't thought it through or anything. Of course, if we need an internal version of Baby B, that is a totally different epidural conversation than the delivery of vertex Baby A, you know? I love the line about how she already got to name a kid - that will probably come out when she inevitably brings the subject up again. 

granite 07-03-2013 12:39 PM

My mom hasn't had specific concerns over "fruit" names, but she seriously hasn't let up on her campaign against us giving our kid a weird name either. I've already told her that the kid's name will be weird, and that's just the way it is. I haven't yet broken out isa's line re: her already having had her chance, but I can see it looming on the horizon!


My father, in contrast, sends me text messages with name suggestions, every day. Yesterday, it was Kerouac (followed by names of other beat poets and counter-culture types of the era). For a brief stint, there were a whole selection that when I looked them up, turned out to be international airports in Europe. He still maintains that "Roissy" and "Orly" (both in Paris) would be great for twins... I've already passed this idea on to mrsandmrs & bigfoot, but I don't think they're doing it: How about for your boys, esenbee?!


I'm enjoying hearing that some of you are into the birth plan idea! I want to write one, but have read too often of people not finding them useful... Glad to know that others value them.


Re: the epidural... I'm going to avoid it too, I think. However, like isa said, they don't hafta lead to caesarean: My friend had one after laboring for many hours, and being on the verge of blacking out from exhaustion & pain. She says it's what allowed her to be awake and present for the birth of her daughter. (The next birth, she did hypnobabies, and said it was excellent too, for the same reason!)


Re: the sleep thing... My back has turned into a rotten mess of knots and spasms, and I'm at the chiro everyday this week, after getting only a couple hours of sleep total each night for the past week or so. After hearing my symptoms, my MW sent me to see my physician today, as part of the issue is extreme breast pain on one side. The doc did an exam and confirms that it seems to be all muscular-skeletal (no swollen lumpy tissue in the breast itself, just underneath it in the chest), so that's a relief.  Funny thing is that they all think it's linked less to my pregnancy and more to the fact that I went from an active job to sitting in a classroom 4 weeks ago! Of course, the pregnancy makes it worse.


Mrsandmrs, I'm taking your advice and getting going on my pre-baby-to-do list.


Sotohana, pregnancy is really f'ing hard!!! We went this route because it seemed like the easiest/cheapest/least-invasive way to get a kid, yet I've asked DP 50 times in the past several months if it really was the best choice, because my body hurts and I'm an emotional wreck and I have nothing to wear and I'm tired and hungry... Okay, I'm mostly kidding, cuz obviously it was the best choice for us given our options & capabilities, but still I'm not really "glowing" here, you know?


(And then yesterday evening I watched the skin on my belly move all over as the baby had a dance party for a good 40 minutes, and I was all like, "OH! Right! This is a bloody amazing miracle happening here! I'm so lucky!!!" happytears.gif)


Esenbee, I'm going to get a pregnancy wedge this weekend!

And I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that my feet don't start swelling, cuz that hasn't happened to me yet... Y'all have my love and sympathy! grouphug.gif

esenbee2 07-03-2013 01:34 PM

granite -we've had both our names picked out since about 21 weeks (and one of them picked out for about 3 years now!)...


mrs^2 -I have used isa's line to my mother before.  I have the memory burned in my mind and about every month or so it runs across my mind whenever I am driving in the same spot where I said it to her on the phone.  When I remember the conversation my blood starts boiling.....  When I was deciding on what to name DD, the name I chose, my mother did not like.  She said that she hated it so much that she was going to refuse to call DD by it and she would come up with what name she thinks she should be called and call her that instead.  I really couldn't believe what I was hearing from her!  She actually thought that SHE got to name MY child and that is was perfectly justified!  I got REALLY pissed REALLY quick and proceeded to tell her off up one side and down the other and it included the line that she had her chance to name her two kids and this was going to be ME naming MY kid.  The thing is, the name wasn't even off the wall or bending any type of "socially acceptable" name rule..  The name was going to be Jillian or Janelle.  DD ended up being named Lillian though, and had nothing to do with my mother.

carmen358 07-04-2013 07:07 AM

mrs, "fruit names" please tell me she didn't actually use that phrase...I would have flipped out. Yikes. Sorry you have to deal with that. I hate that neither DP nor my parents are alive but I don't miss that type of stuff irked.gif



Hi to everyone else! We've been away camping for a few days so I haven't been paying attention here. Being outside and in the lake was the BEST thing at this point in my pregnancy. My feet and ankles are very swollen by mid day and our house is crazy hot. I'm going to move downstairs to sleep tonight I think as I'm not sleeping well in the heat. Other than the frequent bathroom trips in the middle of the night camping was awesome! I had a couple of sugar crashes in the middle of the night again though that put a scare into both DP and I. They are really scary to go through. I called the GD nurse when we got home and she said it's likely because I was a lot more active hiking, swimming, walking, etc. that my current meal plan and insulin levels didn't support it well. I'm back on daily calls to the clinic for now until it stabilizes. Feeling good overall though!

sotohana 07-04-2013 07:44 PM

Thinking of you, Outdoorsy! How are you feeling in these last few days? I bet you are getting so excited!


Mrs&Mrs- I have to admit that I laughed out loud when I read that your Mom said no to any "fruit names." It just sounds so random and funny. Of course being an outsider to the situation helps with the humor. I personally would have been so pissed if my Mom vetoed any names or said anything stupid like that. I too love Prettyisa's suggestion of pointing out that she already got to name a baby. I like to think my Mom would actually hear me on that one, but maybe not. I've been slightly worried about telling her that we are considering the name Mollie for a girl. Even though my sister's name is Molly and so is my Aunt's and DW's late grandmother, she wouldn't like the ie spelling. The reason we like it that way is because our family has two Molly's with a 'y,' but only one Mollie with an 'ie.' As for why she wouldn't like the 'ie' spelling, see below.


Esenbee- Your story about your Mom's refusal to call your child by the names you were considering reminds me of something my Mom did a few weeks back that made my sister want to punch her in the throat. So, for a while my sister has been calling her daughter Willie- a nickname short for her full name- Willow. So my Mom is in the car with my sis and she says "listen, Molly, I have to tell you something. You have to stop spelling Willie with an 'ie.' That is the boy's spelling. It has to be with a 'y.' " Molly, of course, said "no! that's the spelling for a penis." Mom was like "Whaaaat?" feigning ignorance. So, Molly continued "I am not going to spell her name with a 'y.' " My Mom then says "Well, I'm not going to call her Willie then. I'm going to start calling her Dot." ??????? Utterly confused my sister is like "what the fuck?" and my Mom goes "Dash and Dot." It makes sense. Molly's son's name is Dashel and we all call him Dash. Molly just ended up dropping the conversation with my Mom, but she was still really furious when I talked to her a few days later. Ultimately she decided to not pursue a rational conversation with my Mom since that is impossible. I haven't heard Mom call Willow 'Dot' yet, so I think she caught the drift. I swear, Mom's can be so flipping weird.


Granite- so sorry to hear about your back! Good thing you have a chiro to go to, but I know how spendy those co-pays can get. Do you have to deal with that in Canada? I keep popping my pelvis out of place and have been getting to know my chiro really well these past few weeks- lol. Ps. thank you for the words of understanding re: how difficult pregnancy can be. I felt the baby move for the first time on Monday! It felt like someone flicked my stomach from the inside. Then I felt it last night and it felt like it was wooshing around- sort of like a gas bubble would feel like. So cool! I can't wait till we can see it from the outside like you can!


erinTNgirl- I've put you on the list up top. Saxon is ADORABLE! I can't get over how pretty he is. Congratulations to you and your new little family! 

prettyisa 07-05-2013 07:07 AM

Sotohana--oh, man. I was totally with you until you explained the Dash and Dot thing. I think that's really, really cute. Too bad she messed it up and tried to make it be a control thing instead of just an innocent nickname! My DP has a cousin whose father announced before she was born that he was going to call her Peggy. His wife was allowed to name her whatever she wanted, but he was going to call her Peggy anyway. So her mom named her (something) Margaret, and everyone calls her Peggy. She has gotten used to it, but kind of hates it, too. It gets really confusing with formal documents like bank loans and things, especially since when she got married she dropped the Margaret, so now there's no connection at all. She's tried occasionally to get people to switch to her real name, but it never worked. I think he was within his bounds as her father, but it was still kind of a jerk move, especially since they didn't decide together to just name her Margaret or Peggy in the first place. I think you'd be fine with the -ie ending on Mollie, though, since there is no 'boy' version.

Sphinxy 07-05-2013 08:31 AM

Dropping in to say Hi to everyone and a big Congratulations to all the new parents and your beautiful babies! So happy for you.

It's been hard for me lately to stay engaged. I still read through your posts, but even in "real life" I'm having a hard time connecting with other parents or expectant parents. It's like I've gone into some tunnel vision about my own pregnancy. It's hard to explain and I feel kinda bad about it. I really got a lot out of the community experience on the QC thread and now I feel like I might be isolating myself a bit. I guess I'm also really immersed in my move and home renovation project. While there will certainly be lots to do once I get there, the waiting is really hard and DW and I are apart for a lot of it while she works on the house and I stay at our old place to continue with my job and enjoy air conditioning. Less than two weeks to go, and I just can't wait to get the hell out of here.

mrs, your sleep issues sound awful, I'm so sorry. Thanks for the warning. I had just recently (last two weeks or so) gotten my sleep back to a happy place, I will enjoy it while it lasts.

The fruit names cracked me up as well because it seems like an odd thing for someone to focus on (what about seasons? months? flowers? Why the laserbeam focus on fruit?) We told people from the beginning that we weren't sharing the name until birth because we didn't want to hear feedback. I think it is easier for some people to criticize a name before it is on a birth certificate than after. It seems to have worked well for us. We just recently decided that we had set the tone clearly enough, and almost slipped enough times around family, that we were ready to share. I'm ok with changing our minds on when to tell, and giving people the "worst case scenario" upfront kept them off our backs. So now our immediate families know the name and are all being really good about it. I think they realize that we told them this early because we trusted them to respect our decision.

darthtunaqueen 07-05-2013 08:31 PM

Oh good lordy about the fruit names.  We can't all be like Kanye West and Kim (who named their son North West, in case any of you have been living under a rock, which is where I would have liked to have been).  I have vetoed all fruit, weather, days of the week/month, directions, plants, animals, etc etc etc in terms of names (although, Cananny, August really does suit his name).  And I hear ya'll on crazy parents.  Our own parents aren't crazy (yet), but I'm sure my MIL will have an opinion on names.  My parents are pretty laid back about all these things.  One of the babies I work with all the time at work has a grandparent who is absolutely insane, and I swear the next time she gets going at the baby's mom, and I'm gonna kick her out of the nursery.  The grandparent stresses ME out (and I'm supposed to be the calm, rational one...).  


Thinking of all you preggos in the heat!  Our heat wave up here is not as exciting as say, Death Valley, but it's still been hot for Vancouver (I'm sending cool fuzzy thoughts to my fellow West Coasters!).  


ANDDDD Congrats to all the new babies!!  Omg, so exciting!  So many little ones!!!  I'm a bit sad, because I should've been apart of your group, but there have been many many signs lately that parenting would NOT have been the right decision for us at the moment.  I don't play with fate (I spend too much time in the NICU defying fate.....).  Peace out ya'll!!!

seraf 07-06-2013 03:53 AM

Am I the only one who read "fruit" as a synonym for gay?

bigfoot 07-06-2013 07:16 AM

Amt - good to hear from you! Wow, 17 weeks!


Granite - Woohoo, you're well over half way! Congrats on feeling and seeing so much movement. It's fun, isn't it? I hope your back issue gets worked out. Ouch.


Soto - Yay, good luck on the big ultrasound! I think it is so cool to not find out the sex and have that magic moment at the birth.


Gamitzer - enjoy that first trimester sleep!


esenbee - I hear you on mourning the birth plan you wanted. I just keep telling myself everything will be okay and worth it in the end. And there is something really special and exciting about this twin experience, despite all the scary pregnancy and birth stuff.


Sphinxy - that sounds hard to be separated during the move/renovation. Hopefully the two weeks will fly by and you will have this transition behind you before you know it.


Seraf - I think she meant fruit as in "you aren't going to name them something like Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter Apple, are you?" since just about everyone we know keeps asking us that. And because she would be in big trouble with us both if she meant the other kind of "fruit!" It is funny since DS has a very classic, top 200 name - Levi. However, we are going to go a little less common and I happen to think Apple is pretty cute even if I have vetoed Huckleberry. Names have been a hot topic this week since we are still very much not settled on two names and I'm a little nervous about coming home with no-name babies.


AFU - going strong at 31 weeks. When I think about the twin average being 4 weeks away I get a little terrified, although I fully expect us to make it to 38 weeks. I have accomplished a lot around the house, even if I feel like a have a ton of stuff left to do. A friend came over yesterday and we cooked up a storm for our new chest freezer. I plan on adding things to that every week now. We had two fun baby showers and really only have a short list of stuff left to get. I hope to make some progress on the nursery this weekend. We spent last night in urgent care where I dragged DW since we can't seem to get rid of what we currently think is asthmatic bronchitis. I feel really lucky that we haven't had any major complications, but I am constantly worried about the three of them when I listen to her cough and crappy breathing. I feel bummed that we keep having to give her different medications to try when in a perfect world we wouldn't be exposing the babies to any of this crap. The babies are very active and keep growing like weeds. The bump consistently measures 7 weeks ahead, and I can definitely tell it has had a major growth spurt since our last appointment. 

escher 07-06-2013 05:26 PM

Hi Everyone,

I'm having trouble keeping up with this thread, but I'm enjoying reading along!

Sotohana: Thanks for the new thread! It sounds like your trip was great. I'm glad that you're getting some help with the anxiety.

Amt: It's great to hear from you!

Mrs: I'm sorry that the third trimester is rough. I hope that things shift and you feel a little better soon.

Carmen: I'm glad you're feeling good overall. You're getting close!

Hi to everyone else!

20 weeks tomorrow. How can we be (almost, sort of, if you use the funny pregnancy counting) halfway through this pregnancy? It feels so fast. Lots of kicking these days, so that's fun. We have our anatomy scan on Monday.

carmen358 07-06-2013 07:09 PM

Originally Posted by seraf View Post

Am I the only one who read "fruit" as a synonym for gay?

No, that's how I read it. That's why I was so horrified.

sotohana 07-06-2013 11:39 PM

Oooh fun, Escher! We have our anatomy scan Monday too. Good luck with yours- I'll be thinking of y'all :)

maxK 07-09-2013 12:30 AM

Hi Everyone. I was gone for about six months when our first adoption did not work out and it was very hard. Several months ago, my partner and I started to put out the intention for another baby to come along. As soon as I bought a changing table I had been looking at for a long time we got a call from a birth mother and two weeks later our son was born.
His name is Aiden and he was born June 18, 2013. We took him home from the hospital on June 20th. I'm taking some time off work to be with him and it's making me re-evaluate everything; I really don't want to go back to work right now.
Also, back in January I was trying to lactate and breast feed. I am no longer trying to do that and have a lot of supplies if any one else is currently in that boat, let me know.

Sphinxy 07-09-2013 04:34 AM

Congratulations, Max!!

seraf 07-09-2013 04:37 AM

Max! I'm so happy to hear that your son was born! Congratulations!

pokeyac 07-09-2013 08:43 AM

Congratulations Max!  That is wonderful news!  I had a feeling things would work out after your terrible disappointment.  I love the name Aiden. Enjoy your time at home with him.

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