New MTV show "Generation Cryo" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 11-15-2013, 12:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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http://www.afterellen.com/generation-cryo-follows-a-lesbian-teen-with-two-moms/07/2013/

MTV has a new show about a teenager who was conceived using donor sperm going out to find her donor siblings and the donor. I attached this interesting article from After Ellen above. MTV does have some good documentary programming, and this show sounds intriguing. Many of us have children who may be in this position someday. What do y'all think?



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#2 of 15 Old 11-16-2013, 09:49 AM
 
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Thank you so much, pokey! I just scheduled my DVR to record this. If others watch it, maybe we could use this thread to discuss our thoughts after each episode airs? At this point I'm just curious, I know we'll have to have these conversations some day. DW was adopted so she has some thoughts in how that will go.

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#3 of 15 Old 11-18-2013, 10:43 AM
 
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We don't have cable or anything, but I will probably find a way to watch it online. I'm curious to see how it goes. 


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#4 of 15 Old 11-19-2013, 08:48 PM
 
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That does sound interesting! I will be looking for it online as well. Let me know if y'all find a free way to watch it online. smile.gif

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#5 of 15 Old 11-19-2013, 10:11 PM
 
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Wow, this sounds fascinating! I really hope it's available online! Thanks for sharing!

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#6 of 15 Old 11-20-2013, 08:33 AM
 
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I watched the preview of the first episode on the MTV app.
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#7 of 15 Old 12-09-2013, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I watched the first episode too. It was pretty interesting.  The main girl, Bree, went to meet 2 of her donor siblings.  Their parents used a donor because their father did not make any sperm.  Bree brought a DNA collection kit because she was hoping it would help her find the donor who is anonymous.  She needed the DNA of a male relative to help find a match so she asked her donor brother.  The boy was happy to help, but he had to ask for his parents' permission first.  This led to a very moving and interesting conversation between the kids and parents and the parents with each other.  The father still had strong feelings about not being able to father his own children.  His wife was able to experience being pregnant and becoming a mom biologically, but he was not able to do that as a father.  He referenced how the donor could just be some guy who jerked off in a cup and might have no interest in meeting his biological offspring.  Bree's donor sibs are not interested in finding the donor, but they want to help her out because they are friends.  When she got back home, she sat down with her moms to discuss her desire to look for the donor and meet the rest of her donor siblings.  They agreed to support her, and they told her the story of how she was conceived.  The cryo tank was shipped to their house when their parents were visiting and they had to sign for the package.  When her moms got home, their parents were sitting there waiting with the tank.  They explained what they were doing and excused themselves to have some romantic time.  It was cute.  The moms were laughing but Bree didn't really want to hear about her parents having sexy time.  The parents split up when she was young.  Her bio mom is no longer dating women.  They all live near each other and Bree lives with her NGP.




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#8 of 15 Old 12-10-2013, 02:28 PM
 
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The first episode was better than I expected from MTV. We haven't watched the second yet, but will sometime this week I'm sure. It's interesting to see how different each kid is about having a donor and their expectations. 


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#9 of 15 Old 12-10-2013, 03:09 PM
 
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I have watched all three. It is nice to see the different perspectives that each of the siblings has. I've also been intrigued by the different ways the parents handle their kids' curiosity about the doNor. The bio parents seem more comfortable than the NGPs. I guess I was a little surprised by this because I would have thought that they would have come to terms with their decision to use donor sperm when the kids were conceived, but some of them, especially the dad in Atlanta, seem really worried about being replaced in their kids lives by the donor if/when he is located.

This show brings up a question - for those who have used frozen sperm, do you/will you have contact with the donor sibling families, if your bank offers that option? We have not decided yet whether we want to. I'd rather leave that decision up to our son and yet, it may be quite sometime before a discussion like that is age appropriate for him. I wonder if we make the decision ourselves to have that contact early, whether it will help normalize it for him from the start.

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#10 of 15 Old 12-10-2013, 06:17 PM
 
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We've gone back and forth a lot about that, sphinxy. In the beginning it was a definite no, now it just doesn't feel like time yet. DP doesn't want to make a decision that can't be unmade, I don't want to wait do long that the relationship feels weird. I think in a few years when conversations a bout the donor get more serious well explain that she has donor sibs and see if she wants to contact them. Unfortunately the you ger kids won't get to decide- they'll have to hope their big sister makes a good choice. Same for eventually looking for the donor.

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#11 of 15 Old 12-11-2013, 10:07 AM
 
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We actually had a pretty lengthy discussion about this with a group of lesbian friends the other night, at our family homo evening (the gay version of Mormon family home evening). One couple has a 3 month old and the rest are kidless for now. The topic came up after someone asked them if they would want a close friend to use the same donor. They have 15 more vials for one more kid because they are the lucky ones who got pregnant on their first at home ICI (crazy!). The couple with the baby has already been in contact with parents of what they are calling "diblings"  I don't think we will search for other families that early, but I guess we could change our minds. I asked DW when and if she wanted to sign up with the DSR and she said she definitely wanted to as soon as this baby is born. Our bank doesn't have a forum to connect with other parents so the DSR is the only way to do for us. 

 

You bring up a good point I hadn't thought of Isa, with the first kiddo basically getting to choose for any future siblings. That certainly makes things interesting to think about. I like the idea of leaving it up to the kids, but I will also be curious and it's possible that we could develop a really meaningful and close relationship with any of them, which would be great to have early on. It's certainly an ongoing conversation for us. 


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#12 of 15 Old 12-12-2013, 07:13 PM
 
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Sphinxy: We're in touch with several donor siblings and it has been an absolutely wonderful experience so far. 100% positive. Our son is just two, and our daughter is newborn, so I can't say what they think about it yet, but so far the relationship they have with the donor siblings is similar to their relationship with their cousins. We love it. I'm happy to tell you more if you have questions....

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#13 of 15 Old 12-13-2013, 06:32 PM
 
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Good question! Our bank has a sibling registry and we plan on joining sometime soon. We hope to have another kid in a couple years & won't use the same donor, but will also likely list that kid in the registry. I look forward to meeting other donor siblings & their families, if there are any. My DP (NGP) is less enthusiastic, but thinks it's important for our DS.

What's interesting in our case is that we already know the donor is a loving single parent to his 10 year old DD... Long before our DS is wondering about his origins, she may be aware of her potential biological half siblings. Will she join the sibling registry herself? Who knows... Have any of you ever heard anything from the children raised by donors themselves?

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#14 of 15 Old 01-09-2014, 02:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our bank has a way to meet donor siblings. We have not signed up for it yet. I'm not sure when we will. I would like to meet the other families so that I can see what traits of the donor have come through and what traits they have in common. I think it will help me understand my child better if I know what came from me and what comes from the donor. My wife is a bit more hesitant about contacting the families. She seem uncomfortable but I'm not sure why. I don't think we plan on forming close relationships with the other families, but I would like to meet them and be able to contact them in the future if anything comes up. I signed up for The Donor Sibling Registry. There is one baby girl from our donor on there. I found out though that you need to become a member and pay a fee to see more information or post anything about yourself or contact other families. The first level is $75 which is reasonable, but since our bank also has a program for free, I don't think I will pay for this any time soon.

I watched the episode where they go to San Francisco to look for the donor. I live in the Bay Area so it was neat to see them going places I know. It is also a little creepy how easy it was for them to find information on him that helped them, possibly, find him. I wonder if he wants to be found. It also made me think about the fact that our donor probably still lives nearby and he might be easily found as well. He is willing to be known though. Our bank is located steps away from a college campus so I imagine lots of the donors are poor college kids looking to make some money. I don't have a problem with that. I would rather have the donor do it for money than for some weird idea he has about making a bunch of babies.



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#15 of 15 Old 01-09-2014, 03:10 PM
 
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Pokey--we assume ours was a college kid, too (and probably a freshman, judging by the , uh, breadth and brilliance of his possible career aspirations). That actually made us feel better, too, since it's more likely he'll be around when E turns 18 if she is interested in learning more about him and possibly meeting him. The thing I got from that documentary was how deeply awesome all of the kids were. Sweet and polite and happy to know each other and all very cute, I thought. I will admit to being glad that the local bank didn't work out, so our guy is probably somewhere up near you somewhere, and unlikely to randomly show up next door.

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