Legal Protections if you're legally married? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 02-19-2014, 12:54 PM - Thread Starter
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This one is really confusing me and my wife. If we are legally married in our state (soon to be recognized in Illinois, married in Iowa), and I am carrying our child and we will both be on the birth certificate, do we still need to do some kind of legal protection stuff for traveling to states like Michigan? Or are they bound to honor our marriage (and thus both of our parental rights) because of the DOMA ruling last June or not since they don't have marriage there? Marriage, of course, being the clause that allowed her on the birth certificate in the first place. Any ideas?

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#2 of 3 Old 02-19-2014, 01:47 PM
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Hi! You do still need to do a second parent or step-parent adoption just to be safe. That is what is recommended. The DOMA ruling only says that the Federal government will recognize your marriage. The states do not have to do anything. We live in California and have both our names on the birth certificate, but we will still do the adoption for when we travel places like our home, Ohio, which doesn't recognize anything. Adoption should be recognized anywhere. There was a case in Florida a few years ago where the couple did the second parent adoption and domestic partnership in one state and then moved and split up. The state denied the non-bio mom visitation. She fought and won and now Florida recognizes all adoptions.

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#3 of 3 Old 02-19-2014, 02:15 PM
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Yep, do the adoption. It's a pain, but not a huge one, and worth the peace of mind. Also, you get to be in the room for other families adopting their children, and it's kind of amazing to see so many different people coming together to become families in different ways. On our day last time there was another gay couple and two families adopting older children, and it was just lovely.

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