What should I do about this? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-15-2014, 07:33 AM - Thread Starter
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My daughter is going to start (public) preschool in the fall, and I was annoyed to see that on all the forms they sent for us to fill out, they ask for "Mother's Name" and "Father's Name" to be put on every form. We just crossed out "Father" and wrote "Mother" in. I was thinking about sending an e-mail to the principal about it, but then I felt like that was maybe overreacting. What do you guys think? What would the e-mail say? Even back in the day, in the boondocks where I went to school, they asked for "Parent or Guardian #1" and "Parent or Guardian #2".

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#2 of 6 Old 04-15-2014, 07:42 AM
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Guardian #1 or Parent depending on your partner's position. I don't think the school's principal needs to know you're gay. That side of it is private between the two of you, not for anyone else to know. :)

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#3 of 6 Old 04-15-2014, 09:21 AM
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I'd do it. Just be polite and say that you noticed their forms have spots for mother and father, but that's not how your family looks, and maybe they could consider adding some more neutral 'parent or guardian' language in the future. Plenty of kids don't have a mother-father parent situation, so I bet you're not the only one looking at those and trying to decide what to put where.

I've also heard of other parents meeting with teachers and principals before the school year starts if there aren't lots of queer families in the area to make sure that things will go smoothly and that people understand that diversity is coming, so to speak. It wouldn't work in every situation, but since their job is to make your daughter feel safe and protected while she's learning, it might be worth considering, especially since in an equality state if they haven't seen lots of queer families yet, they're likely to in the fairly near future!

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#4 of 6 Old 04-15-2014, 07:32 PM
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We encountered the same situation at our kids' Montessori school. We mentioned it to the principal in person -she agree that the forms didn't reflect the many family structures of the students. The forms we got for the following semester were completely inclusive.
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A (36) DP (52), brokenheart.gif over losing DD at 38 weeks in 2011. Our rainbow1284.gifrainbow1284.gifboy/gril twins arrived in April 2012!

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#5 of 6 Old 04-21-2014, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
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I ended up meeting with the preschool teacher because she meets with every family before school starts, and she was super nice and talked about different things she would do to make dd feel included. She has her class do a project at the start of the year where they all talk about their families and how there are lots of different kinds of families. I mentioned the form to her and she said she would pass that on.

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#6 of 6 Old 04-22-2014, 09:30 AM
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We met with the principal and the teachers before and they were cool about it. In fact they told us that there are several other same sex families in the school and my oldest daughter met one of her best friends because they connected at having lesbian parents.

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