Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting in April, May, June, July - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 84 Old 04-18-2014, 03:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting folks to a great spring and summer 2014.

If you want to be added, just post in bold with your due date. Also, if you have recently had your babe(s), please chime in with the name and birth date in bold. If your information is not correct or has changed, please also post in bold so that I can get it corrected!!


Pregnant - Due Dates

July
Sevie EDD 7/13/14

August
Friederike EDD 8/6/14

September
agrex EDD 9/9/14

October
lea2012 EDD 10/13/14
lblueridgemama EDD 10/22/14
 
November
pookafaye EDD 11/11/14
jam51212 EDD 11/19/14

January
hopeful22

Graduates

Prettyisa, Everett Marion & Theodore Lewis 6/30/14
Redrock, Matthijs Orion 6/19/14
Lizbian, Noah born 4/12/14
BreadandCoffee, girl born 2/22/14
Gamitzer, Benjamin born 2/17/14

Sotohana, Olivia born 11/16/2013
Baby.fatty, Freddie born 11/30/2013
Escher, girl, born 11/25/2013
AMT1015, Emmitt, born 11/18/2013
Granite, boy, born 11/14//2013
Sphinxy, boy, born 10/10/2013
MrsandMrs & Bigfoot, twin boys (O & M), born 8/13/13
Esenbee, twin boys, born 8/11/13
Carmen358, London, born 7/26/13
Outdoorsy, baby boy, born 7/3/13
erinTNgirl, Saxon Nash, born 6/28/13
Tourneymama, Anakin, born 6/27/13
PokeyAC, Charlie, born 6/26/13
CocoBird, Amadora Charlotte, born 6/21/13
MaxK, Aiden, born 6/18/13
easttowest, Nathaniel, born 6/18/13
Cordelia15, baby girl, born 6/11/13
wishin'&hopin', baby boy, born 5/12/13
SplashingPuddle, baby girl, born 5/2/13
KnittingTigers, Theron River & Jane Sofia, born 4/27/13
lisedea, Sawyer, Elliott, & Miles, born 3/24/13
Cananny, August, Gage & Finn, born 2/24/13

KateAdele, baby girl, born 12/12
Nosreves, Elio Sol, 12/5/12 - 12/6/12
MidwifeStephPDX, Lucie Rain, born 10/25/12
Planet, Wylie Blue, born 9/9/12
DesertSunsets, Everleigh Jane, born 9/1/12
dandylez, Adair Seamus, born 6/28/12
KSDoulaMama, surro-babe, born 6/27/12
SwtRainbowBrite, Riley Sophia, born 6/25/12
PleasantlyFurious, Zoe Aurora, born 6/22/12
SmilingSara & Seraf, Soren Dare, born 5/2/12
PrettyIsa, Edith Josephine, born 4/18/12
Ad Astra, boy/girl twins, born 4/11/12
Onemommyonemama, Sage S., born 3/21/12
Qmama42, baby girl, born 1/18/12
Indigo, baby girl A, born 1/8/12

CrystalPerez, Cohen Anthony, born 12/12/11
glassesgirlnj, Annamaria Sigyn Estelle, born 11/28/11
Mami2mami, Layla Janae, born 11/22/11
DAWNMP1, Raya Sylvan, born 11/10/11
2ezforyou, Jagger Stone, born 11/2/11
Seraf & SmilingSara, Shay Brock, born 11/1/11
Escher, baby boy, born 10/24/11
Julietea, Rowan Kathryn, born 10/16/11
Starling&Diesel, Hawksley Solace, born 10/2/11
AmyPDX, Alexander Cole, born 8/7/11
AmandaHope, Lilah Nyx, born 7/24/11
Pigirl, baby boy, born 7/22/11
Mizyellow, Harrison, born 7/20/11
Painefaria, Keegan, born 5/23/11
Cejae, Emmerson & Parker, born 5/22/11
Imogenlily, Soloman Dov, born 5/3/11
2HappyMamas, baby, born 4/16/11
Bttrflygypsy, Elliot Graham, born 4/15/11
LibraryLady, Alice Meredith, born 4/8/11
Wehrli & jenmostoften, Silas Scott, born 4/4/11
Gumshoegirl007, Addison Alexis Réal, born 3/24/11
Beastie, Esther, born 3/13/11
Burg, Reed Kylie, born 2/05/11
Korey, baby girl T, born 1/30/11
Coco99, Chloe & Charlie, born 1/30/11
Abeecharmer, twin girls, born 1/10/11


Recovering from Losses, Held in Our Hearts

MaxK
NZmumof2
TineyDreams
nosreves
Kgulbransen
Fivegrandbaby
Jam51212
Sandiegongp


Last edited by friederike; 07-04-2014 at 11:17 AM.
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#2 of 84 Old 04-18-2014, 06:54 AM
 
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Thanks for the new thread, Friederike!

And huge congrats to Liz--he's just gorgeous, and I love that you got a shot with his eyes open. Those are hard to come by so early on! I hope you're enjoying a wonderful babymoon!

More later--it's fun to have so much activity on here!

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#3 of 84 Old 04-18-2014, 12:12 PM
 
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Thanks for the shiny new thread  :D  I like it being active here too - sometimes I miss the TTC board since it's generally busier. Of course I'm still super glad to finally be able to join you guys here  :D


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#4 of 84 Old 04-18-2014, 12:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So guys, all the midwife talk in the old thread made me think, What are you looking for in a good midwife?

I chose ours without much in-depth screening, because a) I was kinda late to the game when I started looking at 12 weeks for an August delivery, when apparently everybody has babies and half the midwifes are on vacation and b) she is part of a midwife coop right next to where we live, and it is convenient that I can also do my yoga and our birthing class there with her colleagues. My midwife is young, mid-twenties and doesn't have kids of her own yet, but when we talked, I liked her. She seems to be into homeopathy, which I am totally not, but I guess we can find common ground with traditional herbal medicine. Right now I am still only seeing my great doctor but in a month or so, during the last trimester, I will start doing parallel care with the doc and the midwife.

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#5 of 84 Old 04-21-2014, 08:16 AM
 
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Thanks for the new thread, Friederike!

 

I like your question about what we're looking for in a midwife. We found our midwife in Fall 2012 before the first mc, so now it feels like we've had a long-term relationship with her. She birthed a good friend's babies and I was actually there (being caretaker of the older daughter) for my friend during many hours of her labor, so I sort of got to see the midwife in action and liked her way. She is also an ND and shares a practice with my doctor (ND/Acupuncturist), so it has been very convenient. But, we still interviewed her to make sure it felt like a good fit, and I talked to my friend at-length about why she chose her in the first place. We asked her about her transfer rates and episiotomy rates (very low on both) and options for birthing locations, etc. One of the things we like is that she is very knowledgeable about naturopathic practices, but also very open to and knowledgeable about western medicine (which is also why I like my doctor). Also, she has a family practice, so she could end up being our little one's pediatrician - or my doctor will be. I like that we'll have that long-term relationship with her. 

 

Ack - just looked at the time, have to go to work. Hope everyone has a great week!


me (34) and dp (39). After 18 months of IVI with a KD and 2 losses excitedly awaiting the arrival of a baby in October 2014! 

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#6 of 84 Old 04-21-2014, 01:22 PM
 
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For our last birth, we picked a midwife based on which practices the hospital worked with, and choosing the one that my friend DIDN'T use. She had a homebirth and was very militant that the way she birthed was the ONLY possible way to have a baby and hinted that anything else was wrong or bad or something. I think it was mostly hormones and her own need to psyche herself up for it, but that wasn't how we planned to go about things, and I didn't want it to feel like a competition, so we chose the other practice. We met with the two main midwives and got a good feeling from them both--they've had their practice for a little under 30 years, and are both great people. We ended up having a trainee do the birth, who was amazing, and a really crappy new partner that we didn't like at all, but who took over the shift towards the end of things, unfortunately. Our doula was a friend's ex-girlfriend who had a decade of experience and a really calming, in-control presence that made us both feel empowered--she was great to have at the birth and has become a good friend. This time we have to use OBs (well, we could try with a midwife, but we're at a different hospital and the ones we used last time moved their practice too far away to be practical, plus there's a good chance that if anything goes wrong we'd be switched to OB care anyway, and we decided we'd rather meet the doctors while we're all calm and not under duress) so we went with the practice affiliated with our hospital. Again, mostly just by feel--the ones we've met so far have all been women, around our age or slightly older, all different races so far (which has nothing to do with anything except that i like the diversity!) and all with similar outlooks on birth and interventions to what we have. I don't know that there's a deep spiritual connection with them, but they have been competent, friendly, and open to questions, and I think we'll be happy with their care.

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#7 of 84 Old 04-21-2014, 03:45 PM
 
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Just back from the doctor and had my third ultrasound. This one was so exciting! We saw the baby jumping, flailing and kicking - I have a wild monkey in my belly! We also got to hear the heartbeat for the first time whereas previous appointments have just shown the flicker of a heartbeat. I'm so excited :D I also did the NIPT test today so I'm hopeful that we'll know the gender in a week - but it could take 2. As for midwives - sadly, I'm with a high-risk OB already so I don't think I really have that option. I'll be doing a lot of research when my schedule clears up in a few more weeks and I plan on talking to my sister a great deal since she used to be a doula. Sadly, she might be out of the country when it's time for me to deliver - boo.

 

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#8 of 84 Old 04-22-2014, 02:07 PM
 
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Movement: I started feeling "movement" at around 14/15 weeks. It didn't feel like much, just something moving around in there haha

 

Picking a Midwife: We interviewed 4 different midwives. All did homebirths and 3 of the 4 also had birth centers. The other also delivers babies at the hospital. We knew we wanted a CNM, the laws here are strange, like in most states, about what you can and can't do with what license. CNM's have the most training and can carry medications and write prescriptions, we felt most comfortable with a CNM. One of them had been practicing for a loooong time and spent nearly the whole interview talking about how terrible the hospital birth system is, we weren't fans. Another we just didn't click with, she had a very standoffish personality. We instantly loved the one we picked. There was just something about her that made her "the one". She is incredibly brilliant and is big on research and best practices. She is trying to change the system here so that it is more like some countries in Europe, homebirth midwives integrated into the hospital system and such. I liked that she really knows her stuff and has really strict criteria for home births. She is also one of the happiest people I've ever met and always greets me with a huge hug, smile and tells me how beautiful I am. How could I not like her? ;)

 

I hope everyone is doing well. I'm so sick of being sick. I just want to go home and sleep. 


Me (31) DW (28) 2 puppies and a baby on the way

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#9 of 84 Old 04-25-2014, 03:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Argh, I am feeling a bit conflicted today. The cryo-preservation of our one remaining embryo (we only got 3 with our ICSI because of my poor response) is running out soon, so now we either have to pay the bill for another six months or give the okay to destroy it. The chances that the little one thaws and implants are very slim, maybe 10-15%, and we don't want a second child anyway. But it is kinda hard to actively make the decision to destroy it, when its brother is kicking around in my belly and is loved so much already.  guilty.gif


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#10 of 84 Old 04-25-2014, 04:52 AM
 
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Fried--that's tough. I was so bummed that we didn't have any to freeze, but ultimately relieved, because it means we didn't have to make that decision. If you're sure you don't want a second one, you could just let it go. If it were me, though, I think I'd pay for another year, just to give yourselves a chance to meet your little one and be certain that you are a one-and-done kind of family. We're paying for sperm storage until after these two show up just because I don't want to make any big, possibly permanent decisions when we're in such an in-between state. Hugs to you!

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#11 of 84 Old 04-25-2014, 11:54 AM
 
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That is a hard decision and such a hard time to have to consider it. I agree with Isa, pay for a year of storage and then revisit it. Good luck! 


Me (31) DW (28) 2 puppies and a baby on the way

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#12 of 84 Old 04-25-2014, 01:29 PM
 
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Fried - I know that the outlay of cash can seem like you're throwing money away, but if there's any uncertainty I agree with others it can be worth it to freeze the little one a bit longer. I remember that DW only wanted 1 and I wanted 2. When we brought our daughter home she look at me and said she didn't think our family was finished. When we brought home our next foster baby we both looked at each other and didn't feel finished then either. It's one of those things, you don't know until you know.


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#13 of 84 Old 04-25-2014, 03:31 PM
 
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It is a hard decision! I think I would probably pay for storage until after the birth, if I were in your position, for many of the reasons mentioned above. But what a difficult decision to have to make. Good luck figuring out what is best for you!


me (34) and dp (39). After 18 months of IVI with a KD and 2 losses excitedly awaiting the arrival of a baby in October 2014! 

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#14 of 84 Old 04-26-2014, 09:19 AM
 
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Hey everyone so I didn't find this new thread until today and I posted the below, with edits, last weekend, whoops! 

 

Friederike – I am so glad to hear the surgery went well, that had to be so scary! You are so crafty! I am loving your idea of recycling some old items. Thanks for the update on movements, I am so looking forward to that! Also thanks for volunteering to start the new thread, I guess we are a little behind huh.... Now I can say THANKS FOR THE SHINY NEW THREAD! Also I would have to say I agree with the above on paying the storage fee for piece of mind. Then you guys have some more time to know what is right for your family. We had to make a similar decision early on with our donor as his availability was quickly limited and that's what we decided buy it now in hopes that we won't need it but the piece of mind was worth it for us. 

 

Pook – I am glad to hear you are doing the NIPT, we too are doing a test called a Panorama which sounds like a very similar test as you. Hope the next 4 weeks of school goes well, I know the symptoms give me a love hate relationship! Ha

 

Lea – I am glad to hear things are going well! Lea my aunt works at a hospital here so we decided that's where we wanted to birth so based on her recommendations we found an OBGYN group that delivers there and just liked how we clicked with them all and they made us feel comfortable. They are also the doctors who recommended our RE to us and how to start the process. 

 

Redrock – Glad the meeting with the backup midwife went well, hopefully it all works out! I will be thinking about DW and hoping her second interview goes well!

 

Liz – CONGRATS! He is beautiful and I love the name! Hope things are continuing to go well!

 

Pretty – Great to hear the boys are measuring ahead of schedule and that things are looking positive for a vaginal delivery!

 

AFM – So far I am having a love hate relationship with these pregnancy symptoms! I try not to complain because this is 100% what I wanted and I know I don’t have it as bad as most but it hasn't been that much fun either  I can’t seem to get enough sleep, part of the reason why I have been MIA. I have had some relatively mild morning sickness although it’s more like all day sickness. I have only actually gotten sick once but most days I just feel icky, no food sounds good, my stomach just feels blah ha I have already gotten what appears to be pretty bloated and my pants are getting snug already which is alarming ha We are now almost 10 weeks and had our first appointment with the OB last week to check on everything and so far so good. We go back next week for some more tests and we’re also going to do a Panorama test which will test for genetic disorders and we too will be able to know the sex earlier like Pook. So we’re both excited and nervous and hoping everything goes well. Looking forward to being more active and following along with everyone on their journeys!


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#15 of 84 Old 04-28-2014, 03:35 PM
 
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My NIPT results are back - very low risk on all of the genetic concerns and ...*drumroll*... we're having a boy!  stork-boy.gif 

Now we just have to break the news to DD who has been wanting a sister something fierce! It's nice to know that we'll have both a son and a daughter even if our foster son ends up leaving us in a few months. DFS has been totally wild compared to DD though so a 2nd boy is just a tiny bit terrifying  ;)  Time to start thinking about boy's names...


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#16 of 84 Old 04-28-2014, 04:18 PM
 
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Congrats Pook! That's great news! Seems like there are lots of boys on this board smile.gif

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#17 of 84 Old 04-29-2014, 02:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Congrats on the boy Pook. I do hope however, you and your little one get to keep his wild older brother.

Jam, sorry to hear you're feeling miserable. It should be over soon, hang in there dear. The second trimester is much more fun, in my opinion.

AFM, we decided not to spend the money on storing our embryo. I don't think we would deal well with making the decision to try for a second child, get a negative with the low chances and then stop. We don't really have ressources for another IVF, but I am fairly certain that if we decided to try again, I would go all the way until sucess. So we closed this chapter for now.
We also had the anniversary of losing our first pregnancy this week, which was bittersweet. I now feel pretty secure that our little boy will join us safe and healthy in 3 months, but we're a bit influenced even after all this time. Like we watched Mulan when I was going through the cramps and the bleeding and we haven't been able to touch that DVD ever again, not even to watch part 2. Some weird superstition that it's jinxed. I also got DW a small bracelet with a little silver star because she wanted sth. to remember.

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#18 of 84 Old 04-30-2014, 05:10 AM
 
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Hey Everyone!  It has definitely been a while!

 

We are ****l tracking a 09 September 2014 due date and we're very excited.

And we are having.........................  A GIRL!!!! We found out a couple of weeks ago and couldn't help telling people.  We were originally thinking about keeping that to ourselves, but we caved.  And by we I mean me...... I was way too excited. We finally went into the stores this past weekend and started our registries.  Talk about overwhelming.  We just scanned whatever we thought was a good idea at the time and have been organizing and regrouping them online since.  Just trying to be practical and cost effective. I'm also working on dry-walling our basement in order to move a furniture set down there to clear up the planned nursery.  AND I'm building a retaining wall in front of the house to replace some landscaping we hated.  All of the DIYs coupled with lots of travel for work made for a pretty crazy past few months.  Speaking of nursery.  She's letting me do a Harry Potter (subtly) themed nursery!!  I am so excited.  She says she thinks she's going to find me hanging out in there by myself when it is done.  She might be right.  :)  But we're doing great.  Her fatigue has cleared up significantly.  She is ****l running and lifting (within doctor approved reasonable limits of course). The fact that she did so much before the pregnancy is really helping her keep on track now.  Anyway, we're super excited and ready to get through the summer so we can finally meet our baby girl.

 

Congrats on the birth of your baby Lizbian!!!!!!  And congrats on finding out it is a boy Pook.  I haven't caught up much other than that so I'll try and post more later.  Hope all is well with everyone!!!!

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#19 of 84 Old 04-30-2014, 06:51 AM
 
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Jam--sorry to hear about the morning sickness, etc. Luckily you're almost out of the first tri, so hopefully it'll clear up soon and you can get to the more fun parts of pregnancy!

Pook--yay! Congrats on a clean test and a little boy! And good luck with the names--for some reason DP and I have about a million girl names that we can agree on, and exactly four boy names (two first and two middle). And it was a struggle to come up with that many! I think she would go a lot weirder than me if allowed (she's big into Puritan names like Merit and Justice, and old Biblical ones like Ephraim). I realize that on a unique name scale that's not too terribly out there, but I like ones that are common enough that they're easily recognizable as names but not so popular that the kid has to go by his initials since there are 5 Davids in class.

Fried--it sounds like you made the right decision then. I think you're right that if you did it again you'd want to keep trying until it stuck, so just starting from scratch is best. Like I said, it was kind of a blessing that we had to do that for this pregnancy rather than worrying what to do with too many embryos that we knew we wouldn't use. Also, I wouldn't watch that movie again if that was my last experience, either.

Agrex--congrats and welcome! Harry Potter sounds like a great nursery theme! Especially with how popular owls are right now, you should be able to find some really cute stuff. I think we finally decided we're going to have a light outer-space theme for the boys. DD's theme was 'urban' so rats and pigeons and it's surprisingly cute, I think because it was a very light touch. I'm looking forward to making rocket mobiles.

AFM--bedtime is sort of sucking, but DP and I can't decide what to do about it. We think it's because DD is more used to DP putting her down (it was really their thing when she was tiny, and now DP does it about 2/3 of the time). But I hate that when it's my turn she yells for a really long time, usually until DP goes in and re-puts her to bed. On the one hand, I want to just take it over completely until she gets used to me doing it again, but on the other hand, I'm going to be nursing two babies at that time of night in a couple months, so maybe it makes sense to leave things alone? On the up side, I ****l get most of the morning cuddles--she wants to sleep curled up right around me, and is usually holding my ear or putting her hand over my nose to feel me breathing (hard to keep breathing like that, but I soldier on), so it's not that she absolutely prefers DP to me, but it's ****l rough to not be able to soothe her at night. greensad.gif

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#20 of 84 Old 04-30-2014, 07:03 PM
 
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Fried – I am happy to hear you guys were able to make the best decision for your family. It does make sense that if you decide to try for baby #2, you’re going to go all the way through so why not start from the beginning! I am feeling much better these days and gladly looking forward to the 2nd trimester! I don’t blame you for not watching the movie, I wouldn’t either. Some things are just triggers and we have to be honest with ourselves about those things and do what is best.


Agrex – Congrats! Glad to see another girl will be joining the group :) I know I would want to know the sex asap and there is no way I could keep that secret in so I won’t even try I am sure there is new excitement now that you can share with others now that they know. You seem to have a lot on your plate and huge DYI projects! I give you props for taking on such big challenges; I know I wouldn’t be capable.

 

Pretty – I am feeling much better now, and yes I look forward to feeling even better here real soon! I am only imagine the new struggles you are facing with already having a LO at home and soon adding 2 more but I am sure it will all be worth and you will figure out what will work best for your family!

 

AFM – We had another appointment with the OB today and everything looked good. The doctor was having a hard time finding the heartbeat on the doppler, she did warn us before that it may be too early, but it was still very nerve-racking. She said she could faintly hear it but we couldn’t. She was very nice and got us into an ultrasound room right away so that we could all feel confident before we left which was great. Unfortunately we had to go into the room with the old "back-up" machine so the picture wasn't very clear at all but we could see the heartbeat and a baby which is always nice. She said the baby is hanging out toward my back which is probably why she was having a hard time hearing it and I will probably have to wait a while longer to feel it too. We also did our blood test today for what seems to be a similar test to what Pook had done so we could know if we’re having a boy or girl in the next few weeks. We are now officially due November 19th and my sister is due November 12th so we could very well be having our babies at the same time which could lead to some interesting times. We are also planning on telling our extended family next weekend which we are very excited about. currently only our parents and siblings know. After today’s appointment I am starting to let myself feel like this may actually happen and feeling more comfortable in this pregnancy. Glad to hear everyone is doing well! 


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#21 of 84 Old 05-01-2014, 09:21 AM
 
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Jam--that's great about the ultrasound! I'm sorry it wasn't clearer, but at least seeing that things are going well in there is so reassuring! My wife's cousins had their babies on the same day! They found out they were pregnant on the same day, and there was some planned c-section/induction activity on both sides, so maybe not as nifty as if it had happened spontaneously, but still kind of cool to share a birthday. My closest cousin (in age and temperament) was born on my second birthday, and it's still fun to share it with each other.

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#22 of 84 Old 05-01-2014, 11:42 AM
 
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jam: I know what you mean. I have had such an easy pregnancy, but I really don't like it at all. I'm happy that I have a wife who is happy to carry a baby because I have no desire to be pregnant again. I am so excited for our baby, but I miss my body. Not the way it looks, just all the other stuff. I do enjoy feeling the baby move, but that's about it. :) Hang in there. Great news on the ultrasound, glad they were able to reassure you that everything is okay. 

 

pook: great news on the testing and congrats on the boy. There sure are a lot of boys coming up. I don't think we've had a girl in quite a while either born or in utero. Maybe breadandcoffee was the last? 

 

fried: It sounds like you all made the best decision for you, I'm sure it's a relief to have it made. It made me realize I need to call our bank and tell them we want to pay the year and not quarterly storage fee for our swimmers. 

 

agex: Hi and welcome (back) A girl how exciting! We have yet to tell anyone we know the sex of our baby...well besides you all :) DW has slipped up a few times, but quickly says..or she/girl. I used to feel kind of bad lying about it, but the reactions we get when we say we don't know remind me why we are telling people we don't know. We did our registry the same way...there is so much random stuff on there, most of it we don't need and wouldn't buy but we wanted to give people options and ideas of our style and wants. It sounds like you have your hands full, good luck with the projects. 

 

isa: Justice is an awesome name...but I'm a little biased ;) I wish I had some bedtime advice, it does sound like it might be easier to keep things as they are since your DW will be doing more bedtimes in the near future. I hope it's just a short phase though. The image of her holding your ear with her hand over your mouth is hilarious. I look forward to those days. 

 

AFM: Not much is new here, except this fun back/hip pain I am experiencing. It only happens when I lay down but it is awful. When I woke up the other day I felt like I had been run over or something. I've skipped yoga the last couple of weeks because of this cold but I am for sure going on Sunday. I  might try the chiro my midwife suggested too. It's enough to make me not want to sleep at all. Everything is going along fine. I started painting the mural in the baby's room this week and it's all cleared out now except what is staying in there. DW has been in New Orleans for work all week and I'm really excited for her to come home tomorrow night. 


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#23 of 84 Old 05-02-2014, 04:17 PM
 
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I've been trying to keep up with everyone here, but I'm kind of behind - I had so many grants due at work this week, it is a wonder I got them all submitted. I'll be back for personals sometime soon. In the meantime, I just wanted to say to Fried that I think it is nice that you and your wife were able to do something to mark the occasion of the loss and honor that experience. The anniversary of our 2nd MC is coming up next week so I really relate to what you were going through. 

 

Hope everyone is doing well - more later!


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#24 of 84 Old 05-03-2014, 12:17 AM
 
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thanks all!

 

Sorry it's been a bit quiet from me but I'm just out of hospital after spending almost a week there. Turns out I got DVT (a hereditary thing) and was not very well at all and rushed in to hospital last Saturday.

 

Developed a massive clot in my left thigh that was at risk of breaking off and lodging in my lung, which can be fatal. Because I'm breastfeeding the meds I could take were limited, and only paracetamol as painkillers. It's been a pretty long and very painful week but I'm back home with the boy (who was in hospital with me, and quite the celebrity). Poor DW was rushing around looking after the 3 dogs, ferrying my mum around who is visiting for the week (fortuitously) and worrying about me.

 

I'm not allowed to drive for a month, have to wear compression stockings for a minimum 6 months, have daily injections, blood thinners, blood tests.... it's not been much fun.

 

Redrock how did DW's interview go? She get the job?

 

Pook - that's exciting!!! I wasn't sure about having a boy but am so happy we did now. I love seeing movement on the screen, it's such an exciting moment. Boy's names were so much harder than girl's names!

 

Agrex - yay, so exciting!

 

 

Jam I hope everything is going well for you xx

 

Lea I thought I felt movement about 16 weeks but by 19 weeks there was no doubt what it was. He also had the hiccups quite a lot (and still does!)

 

Isa - thanks, it was a one-off!

 

Fried - we don't get a choice here but all the midwives were fantastic. Abs ended up chatting to the (gay male) midwife through my whole labour and they were best buddies by the end. Sorry you had to make that decision about the last little emby but so happy you've got a bun in the oven. Also nice to celebrate the little star in the sky that will always be part of you guys x


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#25 of 84 Old 05-04-2014, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh Liz, what bad luck to spend your first weeks as a family dealing with such an illness and poor A being seperated from you two. It all sounds very tough. I've had a similar pain exoerience too, they also only gave me paracetamol with the surgery, which is fine for headaches, but for bigger things you'ld rather take the better stuff, right? I am glad though, they found out about it before anything worse happened. It made me think back to last summer when you had to decide to cancel your trip back home because of the thrombosis risk with your overstimulation; seems like the concern was very valid now in hindsight. But good to hear that your little one is nursing well and already charming the nurses. Oh, and how I wish we had a nice gay male midwife here!
What is Noahs personality like?


Leah, congrats on getting all the work done and good luck that the grants go through successfully. I think the second trimester is great for productivity, so enjoy it all as long as it lasts. I always feel that it is important to show my colleagues, that I still have other interests and topics to talk about besides our baby and can be taken seriously as part of the team. We've had some people in the past who seem to loose most of their brain cells with the BFP, telling everybody everything about their uterus and fetus development, unprompted, which can be annoying, especially to the childless guys on the team.
Leah, I hope you and DP will have a peaceful day of remembering your second little one next week.


Agrex, congrats on the baby girl! we have so many boys coming up, we were due for a little girl. Your projects sound very impressive, luckily it will be easier to get things done in the summer than in the winter. I hope you can finish it all before she arrives. I am a HUGE Harry Potter nerd, so I love the nursery theme idea (or will you just stick her under the stairs in a cupboard? *lol*) I'ld love to hear about the progress, what colors you use and which decorations.
We have already decided on a very simple, non-themed green and white for our baby's room, but I'ld love to decorate sth. with a Ravenclaw common room theme one day. We'll just have to read the books to our child and make sure he becomes as big a fan as me and DW.

Jam, great to hear things are well with your babe and how exciting that you also get to know the sex so soon. I still have those weird thoughts that maybe the u/s were wrong and we end up with a girl at birth. A test gives a 100% answer. I am a bit confused why they changed your due date, though. With the IUI it should be totally clear when you ovulated, shouldn't it? Did they change it based on babe's growth?

Redrock, wow, you're closing in on the last ten weeks, not long and he'll be there. I hear you on the back pain, I also got back pains during my hospital stay from being bed-ridden for several days. Now I do some yoga that seems to help (the cat-cow switch). Trying a chiro seems like a good idea, if you can afford it, do it, there is no need to spend those last weeks in unneccessary misery. I also like taking very extended warm baths in the evening to help with the pain.

Prettyisa, sorry to hear things are rough with your eldest right now. I understand the frustration with not being able to put her down yourself. But I guess things will change anyways very soon, so yeah, I guess it is nothing to spend too much energy on. It also seems likely that as soon as the boys are here and you're stuck someplace else nursing, she is going to request you putting her to bed, just to make sure she still gets the attention.

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#26 of 84 Old 05-07-2014, 11:50 AM
 
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Pretty – I am sure in the long run things will be awesome with two little ones so close together and they will always have a little friend at family gatherings but in the beginning it has added a lot of stress and the fact that we live a few hours apart and my parents may have to choose where to be adds some tension as well

Redrock – I really thought I would love being pregnant, and like you said I haven’t had a bad experience at all but it’s not quite was I was hoping for ha I am hoping from here it will just get better but I guess I will have to wait and see. My wife wants nothing to do with being pregnant so if we decide we want to try for baby number 2 it will all be on me. Sorry that you’re in so much pain, that does not sound like fun either

Liz – I am so sorry you’re having to go through so much pain! I will continue to think of you and send healthy healing thoughts!

Fried – The due date change was quite the conversation. My original due date of 11/23 was given by the RE’s office and was based on the growth of the baby. We know that I ovulate very late in my cycle so it all made sense. When we switched to the OB’s office they insisted that we use my LMP for my due date which moved it up to 11/19. We decided to just give in and go with the date they keep writing on all my paperwork and be done but really it doesn’t make much sense to us either. Probably just means I wont deliver until after my due date. We still are waiting on our test results but really looking forward to knowing so soon and it being so accurate. I always thought I would know from the ultrasound and then have the exact opposite at birth haha

AFM – Nothing new to report, finally at 12 weeks today and feeling a lot better. I am glad to be out of the first trimester and letting myself get excited for a LO to arrive in 6 short months. I do have question for you ladies, how and when did you tell your work? My boss currently knows and HR but I am starting to get to the point where I’m looking chunky and my pants are getting tighter ha Plus I work in a warehouse setting (not an actually distribution worker) so sometimes I have to lift things, etc and want everyone to be aware. Not to mention I do a lot of our monthly trainings and meetings and I will obviously need to do more now in preparation for being out. My manager has encouraged me to let everyone know at our staff meeting but I am a little weirded out by the situation. Any tips?

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#27 of 84 Old 05-07-2014, 12:31 PM
 
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Liz: I'm so glad you are okay, that's can be such a scary problem. My sister's friend just passed away from a pulmonary embolism (the dr's didn't take her concern about a possible blood clot very seriously because she was so young). Very glad that you are okay and hopefully resting and enjoying the babe now. I hope you are feeling better soon. 

 

Fried: I actually found out my insurance will cover the chiro, double win! I have an appt set up for next Monday. My back has been better since DW got home, maybe it just missed her or I was sleeping weird without her there, who knows? Baths helps too, I take one nearly every night. Do you have any big things to get done before you get closer to your due date? 

 

Jam: Yeah, sometimes I feel like I shouldn't complain so much since it's been so easy. I keep telling DW, "Just wait until it's your turn" I really wonder how different pregnancy will be for her. She says she's lucky that I'm such a low maintenance pregnant person, she imagines that she will be much more difficult. If for some reason DW can't get pregnant, I'd probably be willing to carry a 2nd. 

 

I sort of accidentally told my boss really early, like a week and a half after we found out early. I wrote about it on my blog, basically we were talking about my stepmom and my boss asked if there was anything coming up in the family for her to look forward to and fight to make it to like a birth, I couldn't hide it and after an awkward exchange explained that I was pregnant. She was surprisingly really excited. I told everyone else slowly after our first ultrasound at 9ish weeks. We're pretty small though. A friend of mine brought doughnuts to a staff meeting and said" if I have to get bigger than you all can get bigger with me". They thought it was great. Could you do something like that? 

 

AFM: Well DW has an unofficial job offer, we are just waiting for an official offer and negotiations before we celebrate for real. We are both so so excited. My friend, the one mentioned above, also just got a job for the upcoming school year and we are planning on nanny sharing. I've obviously never done this before, but am really excited about it. She is having her aunt watch the baby a couple days a week and I'll be working from home a couple days a week so now we just need to find a part-time nanny that we all agree on. 

We had a midwife appt on Mon evening and baby is still head down, which is good. Both midwives were there, which was different, but good I suppose. They have very different styles and the backup is certainly not our current and preferred midwife. I'm really hoping we can connect with her over the next two months.  We are both looking forward to our next u/s on the 23rd so that we can have a better idea if a vaginal birth is possible or not. 


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#28 of 84 Old 05-07-2014, 08:38 PM
 
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Liz-I’m so glad to hear you’re okay – that sounds scary, but I’m glad you’re out of the hospital and back home!

 

Redrock – congrats to your wife on the job offer! That’s so exciting! Glad your insurance is covering the chiropractor – I’ve been going for the last few weeks and it has helped me so much! And your nanny-share situation sounds great – I would love to find something like that.

 

Pook – glad all your tests turned out well and that you got to find out you’re having a boy!

 

Agrex – congrats! Your nursery theme sounds cute! My partner and I are in some disagreement about whether or not we need an actual “theme” and I can only come up with ideas that are tongue-in-cheek, which I think is very annoying to my partner.

 

Jam – I told my boss a few weeks ago, but I just told my colleagues last week. I only work with a dozen people, so I just told them in small groups. It felt too weird for me to make an announcement in a staff meeting or something (I don’t really like being the center of attention). And I figured the people I missed would find out through gossip or that they would notice when I started showing more obviously. And I made a point of telling the people who I knew I would need extra help with carrying things, etc. one-on-one.  Glad you’re feeling better – congrats on getting to 12 weeks! I know I started feeling more relaxed after I pass the 12-week milestone (although I still worry, because I’m a worrier).

 

Fried – Thanks – yeah, I definitely don’t want to lose any professional credibility during the pregnancy, even though I do feel like my mind is not quite as sharp as it could be these days. And someone I work with just gave birth last month and she talked about her pregnancy constantly, and kind of made everything about that. I think I'm being hyper-aware so I don't act that way. Although making things all about me is not really in my nature anyway (and it is totally in hers)

 

AFM – I’ve still had a hard time keeping up with everyone because my life was seriously disrupted this weekend when our house was burglarized. It was such a horrible feeling to come home and see a smashed window and realize how much had been taken. I was in such a state of panic, I was having trouble breathing, and then I got even more upset worrying about whether my panic reaction would affect my pregnancy. We’re having a hard time really feeling safe, but little by little are putting things back in place. There is nothing new to report on the pregnancy, and the burglary really seems to shadow everything else right now. As I mentioned before, the anniversary of the last mc is coming up on Friday and so this week is pretty much terrible, but DP and I are trying to just do lots of nice things for ourselves. 


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#29 of 84 Old 05-08-2014, 06:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Jam - Ah, totally understandable that you didn't wanna bother anymore and absurdly studpid, this formulaic thinking. I just hope they won't force you into an unneccessary induction when you're past your LMP due date. Big congrats on reaching the second trimester. I remember feeling so relieved to be on the 'safer side'.

 

Telling at work - I told my team colleagues first and my boss second a couple days later. Everybody else in the department, it just trickeld down to somehow, they either heard through the office gossip chain (led by our office secretaries) or saw my bump at some point. Some people only found out very recently. I would never ever make a big announcement either in person nor though email. There was one point when I had to ask our head secretary to formally give a notice to the big boss (who doesn't deal with the small things like HR planning) when I was denied a pregnancvy related exception in my teaching arrangements at first (also had to do with not shlepping heavy stuff around unneccessarily).

 

Redrock - Yay for insurance coverage. I'ld be interested to hear how it works and what the chiro does. For this week I have been able to deal through more Yoga, but I am guessing I'll have to make such an appointment too, soon enough.

Your nanny share plan sounds great and great to hear about DW's job offer. Big congrats to her!

 

Lea - bigeyes.gif holy sh*t. That is such a scary scenario. I am sorry this has happened to you, especially at such a sensitive time. Good to hear you and DP are doing nice things and taking care of each other.


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#30 of 84 Old 05-08-2014, 08:20 AM
 
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Fly by update to say we got our results and we're also having a baby BOY! smile.gif Also we are very low risk for all the chromosomal things so that's a great feeling as well! Can't wait to tell the families this weekend!!!

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