hey all, I am a long time lurker on mdc but this is my first post. my g and I are planning to try to have a kid together, which i would carry, sometime in the next year or two. we live in NYS and I am wondering about the impact of gay marriage on our situation, since we really really don't want to get married, but I really obviously want her parental rights to be secure, as secure as they would be for an unmarried straight parental couple.
to be clear, we have been together 7 years at this point and have merged our lives, but we both just are not into the institution of marriage, for many reasons (no dis to anyone who is into it), and while we are glad that those who want to get married can do so, I worry about the expectations and pressure this will put on us as parents, and the possible legal ramifications for my g as the NGP. do you know if we could still list her on the birth certificate or if being unmarried would have any effect on a 2nd parent adoption or on us both being legally considered parents?
thanks so much for any insight you can offer! we are in New York, but I'm curious about how this might work in other states as well.