Bad experience with RE - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 05-18-2014, 07:15 AM - Thread Starter
Danasnoww's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had bad experience with an RE. Despite the fact that they said that they had had many lesbian clients in the past, I doubt they are very good at understanding part of our community's particular needs. I am 33yrs and completely healthy. After hiring them to do an IUI, they said they would monitor one cycle, I would have to get a hysterosalpingogram and me and my wife would need a shrink eval. So we got all that done within a couple of weeks and all tests were
perfectly normal. I asked about when we can do the IUI, the random nurse or assistant there said let's not get ahead of ourselves, we need more info in your file, so another month goes by, and this time I ask, when can we schedule the IUI, can I find out about when I should ship our sperm to your office. And they said , well we would
like to gather more information. After a third month, I yelled at the office and said, I have been here for so many vaginal ultrasounds, and blood, and done everything. you have explained nothing. I only hired you to put sperm in my body because I'm a lesbian and you haven't done that. And the nurse tried to hush me and brought me into another room. So then she said, well sperm is expensive and we
would just like to make sure that we have a lot of information before we do the IUI. I said, well I don't have fertility problems, so then I wouldn't have a dozen months of failed tries on record, because I would have to actually try which I haven't done. I also said it is my money, so I think that you should let that be my concern how
expensive the sperm is. And then she said to me, well what do you do for work? WTF?! So I finally told them I wouldn't be continuing with them, and the staff there reacted as if that were the most normal thing ever, they did not care, they did not try to convince me to stay, then they sent me a bill for $1,300 or whatever
amount over all the tons of money they bilked from my insurance.
pokeyac likes this.
Danasnoww is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 5 Old 05-19-2014, 02:57 PM
hopeful22's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Wow, Dana, that sounds like a really awful experience! I am so sorry you have gone through that. What a waste of your time and finances! I have never had a negative experience with being queer to any of the RE's I have seen, it is crazy to me that things like that still happen. The good news is that, the things you have done should be able to be transferred to a new RE, once you find a reputable one to go to. I don't know about laws or regulations over there, but here in WA state some PCP, OB's, midwives or even nurses will do IUI's if you are buying frozen sperm. In fact, if you have no fertility concerns, you and your partner could even do it at home. That is how I started and I have seen plenty of women on these boards have success that way. If you would like more information and support as you travel your TTC journey, feel free to join us in the Queer Conceptions thread for May.

sillysapling likes this.

After years of waiting, DP and I are so excited to announce the arrival of our baby girl, born 1/27/15.
Remebering our Angel Baby, Emery.
hopeful22 is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 05-21-2014, 08:18 PM - Thread Starter
Danasnoww's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks, that's true that I will be able to use that info with a new RE. Thanks for the positive spin. And also apologies, I didn't realize that you can't say business names. I thought people could do that.
Danasnoww is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 05-22-2014, 04:22 PM
pokeyac's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 4,189
Mentioned: 45 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 77 Post(s)
Hi Danasnoww! It's no problem at all. Here's a link to our policy on Healthcare Provider Reviews.
If you have any questions, please let me know.

Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 05-23-2014, 05:13 AM
rs11's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: U.S.
Posts: 272
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. There are plenty of other REs out there. Remember that they work for you instead of the other way around. When you go to visit another clinic, treat it as a job interview and you're the one hiring!

Mother to one dd .
rs11 is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 18,014

158 members and 17,856 guests
1babysmom , agilesheltie , ailsa JOHN , Ajbaby , alvarezd22 , americanjuly , AmyC , angb457 , angeebaby , annbe , Anne Jividen , AwesomeJessica , aylasebmom , bananabee , BarefootBrooke , bellyfruit , bepgirl31 , blissful_maia , blissor , bluefaery , callieollie , catladymeow , Cheeky-One , Cherry_Blossom , chickabiddy , Chipi , clar5108 , Claudia Chapman , cocoheart , Cricket VS , Daffodil , dahlia810 , Dawn's mom , Deborah , dhammamama , Dia , Emanresu , emma415 , Eris , escapehatch , Evelynflower , forestfoster , frugalmama , funfunkyfantastic , gossamer , greenemami , happyhats , harmonious , Heather Alisse , Hillarchy , hillymum , ian'smommaya , JAntoinette , jazzmom74 , JennyT , Jessica765 , JLUK , jojobean , joycef , justmama , katelove , Kelleybug , lalalovely , Letitia , Lifted , lightheartedmom , lilgreen , LiLStar , Linda on the move , littlebear3 , littleeggegg , loba , LuaBelle , mamabear0314 , MamaChick , mamamash , MarieWalter , MCatLvrMom2A&X , MeepyCat , MelissaRM , Milk8shake , Mirzam , mjatin2007 , moominmamma , MountainMamaGC , MulberryMom , Mylie , MylittleTiger , mysticmomma , Narn , NaturallyKait , neemoomommy , newmamalizzy , nikkialys , oaksie68 , Oceanspray , persephassa , philomom , rcb215 , RDGL , Renaissance31 , Rosehip , RosemaryV , rubelin , Ruthiegirl , sahmoffour , Sajaki , samaxtics , SandiMae , sarafl , sarahl918 , Serafina33 , shantimama , Shmootzi , shoeg8rl , sidrajedi , Smokering , sofreshsoclean , sortacrispy , SplashingPuddle , Springshowers , StepGirlfriend , SummerStorm22 , t2009 , Tiffa , TourmalineMama , Tracy11360 , TrishWSU , typebug , umair.ahmed , Vickerybs , violetflapjack , VocalMinority , Wild Rose , yogacourse , zebra15 , Zirconia
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.