Bad experience with RE - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 05-18-2014, 08:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had bad experience with an RE. Despite the fact that they said that they had had many lesbian clients in the past, I doubt they are very good at understanding part of our community's particular needs. I am 33yrs and completely healthy. After hiring them to do an IUI, they said they would monitor one cycle, I would have to get a hysterosalpingogram and me and my wife would need a shrink eval. So we got all that done within a couple of weeks and all tests were
perfectly normal. I asked about when we can do the IUI, the random nurse or assistant there said let's not get ahead of ourselves, we need more info in your file, so another month goes by, and this time I ask, when can we schedule the IUI, can I find out about when I should ship our sperm to your office. And they said , well we would
like to gather more information. After a third month, I yelled at the office and said, I have been here for so many vaginal ultrasounds, and blood, and done everything. you have explained nothing. I only hired you to put sperm in my body because I'm a lesbian and you haven't done that. And the nurse tried to hush me and brought me into another room. So then she said, well sperm is expensive and we
would just like to make sure that we have a lot of information before we do the IUI. I said, well I don't have fertility problems, so then I wouldn't have a dozen months of failed tries on record, because I would have to actually try which I haven't done. I also said it is my money, so I think that you should let that be my concern how
expensive the sperm is. And then she said to me, well what do you do for work? WTF?! So I finally told them I wouldn't be continuing with them, and the staff there reacted as if that were the most normal thing ever, they did not care, they did not try to convince me to stay, then they sent me a bill for $1,300 or whatever
amount over all the tons of money they bilked from my insurance.
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#2 of 5 Old 05-19-2014, 03:57 PM
 
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Wow, Dana, that sounds like a really awful experience! I am so sorry you have gone through that. What a waste of your time and finances! I have never had a negative experience with being queer to any of the RE's I have seen, it is crazy to me that things like that still happen. The good news is that, the things you have done should be able to be transferred to a new RE, once you find a reputable one to go to. I don't know about laws or regulations over there, but here in WA state some PCP, OB's, midwives or even nurses will do IUI's if you are buying frozen sperm. In fact, if you have no fertility concerns, you and your partner could even do it at home. That is how I started and I have seen plenty of women on these boards have success that way. If you would like more information and support as you travel your TTC journey, feel free to join us in the Queer Conceptions thread for May.


After years of waiting, DP and I are so excited for the arrival of our baby girl, expected January 15th 2015.
Remebering our Angel Baby, Emery.

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#3 of 5 Old 05-21-2014, 09:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, that's true that I will be able to use that info with a new RE. Thanks for the positive spin. And also apologies, I didn't realize that you can't say business names. I thought people could do that.
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#4 of 5 Old 05-22-2014, 05:22 PM
 
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Hi Danasnoww! It's no problem at all. Here's a link to our policy on Healthcare Provider Reviews. http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1064849/healthcare-provider-review-policy/0_30
If you have any questions, please let me know.
Thanks,
Pokey



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

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#5 of 5 Old 05-23-2014, 06:13 AM
 
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I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. There are plenty of other REs out there. Remember that they work for you instead of the other way around. When you go to visit another clinic, treat it as a job interview and you're the one hiring!


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