Queer Conceptions - August 2014 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 43 Old 08-08-2014, 12:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Queer Conceptions - August 2014

Welcome to the August 2014 Thread

Let's make some Spring Babies!

Please put your updates in BOLD.

GRADUATES: Please click here to share how you got your BFP!

Waiting to O
AugustLia23
dani2015
easttowest

Waiting to Know.... Braving the 2WW
fillefantome

Working on IUI

Working on IVF
mamaetmaman

Taking a Break/Figuring Things Out/Waiting to be ready
Rs11
lrex99
SanDiego78
BabyFaith
NiseNise
jpg123&sandiegongp
mkgarcia
heyfoureyes
jwaite05
MrsSelfridgeX2
JustAnotherJenny
PlaidFlannel
TTCinKS
osker
DarcySD
invitnconceptn
TaviPDX
Fmorris28
greenpants
bettertomarry
Kbfs
Lovestreet13
KWPX2
TineyDreams
Scorpioma
Darthtunaqueen
heart-n-bones
BByH1Pr

2014 Graduates!

August* angeebaby
July* onemommyonemama
May* Hopeful22
March* Pookafaye * Jam51212
February* Lea2012

2013 Graduates!

December* Twomommyfamily *Agrex
November * Prettyisa * Sevie * Friederike
October * redrockband
August * Lizbian * Beastie
May * Lovingisliving
March * Escher * Sotohana * Amt1015
February * Granite
January * Esenbee2 * LindseyW * Sphinxy

2012 Graduates!

December * Joyseattle * Mrsandmrs & Bigfoot
October * Cordelia15 * PokeyAC * Easttowest * ErinTNgirl * Outdoorsy
September * Wishin'&hopin' * Lisedea * Tandy401
August *Thenewzero * KnittingTigers * TaraL
July * Cananny
May * Mtnlisa
April * Nosreves
March * SkyandTru * JuneBug
February * MidwifeStephPDX * SouthernBelle24
January * Planet * Dandylez

2011 Graduates!

December * DesertSunsets
November * Aljm41910
October * Vienna79 * KSDoulaMama * Pleasantlyfurious * SwtRainbowBrite * Go_Vegan
September * Smilingsara * Ad Astra * Mumquest
August * Prettyisa
July * Onemommyonemama * Southern Fried Karma
June * CrystalPerez * Qmama42
May * KellySF
April * Want2bmumx2 * Indigoscot
March * Graceie * Seraf * 2ezforyou * Mommy55
February * Escher * SharriKitColorado * DAWNMP1
January * Starling&diesel

2010 Graduates!

November * Mizyellow * AmyPDX * AmandaHope * Cejae
September * Solejean * Painefaria
August * Bttrflygypsy * 2happymamas * LibraryLady
July * Beastie * Gumshoegirl007 * Wehrli
June * Coco
May * Burg * Korey
April * Calimeow * Mtnlisa * Kimlyn32
February * Mistral * Quasar & Smartycat * Monarchgrrl * Erthe_mama
January * Lyndzies * FtMpapa

2009 Graduates!

December* Osker * Megan sacha * Mkpgoddess
October * JJNoho * Mommies 2 Be * Megincl & Ktcl
September * Elismum1908 * KSDoulaMama * Pleasantlyfurious
August * Chicagoml * Wishin'&hopin'
July * Hbog
May * Indigoscot
April * Kelmendi * KJM * Whoabethy * Carmen
March * Scalpel * Katwomyn4
February * Deny_zoo29
January * Jodybird511

36, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2015, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .

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#2 of 43 Old 08-08-2014, 02:30 PM
 
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Could you please put me in the two week wait? Thanks!

Some of you may remember me from about two years ago when we first started trying. Well, now we have a 13 (almost 14) month old son (below) and are trying for number two. It's actually been a pretty awful last couple of months for a variety of reasons, but I'm trying to be positive and keeping looking forward rather than back. We did one insemination yesterday, and all signs point to my wife ovulating either yesterday or today, so hopefully we caught it. We'll see in two weeks. Good luck to everyone else here!
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#3 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 05:34 AM
 
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Hello, I hope everyone is doing well! I have been extremely busy this past month and had a really long cycle which was frustrating but I am finally, officially, waiting to ovulate! It is surreal since my wife and I have been talking about having kids for so long and we are going to inseminate by the end of this month!

Easttowest: good luck in your tww and your son is ADORABLE!!!
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#4 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 08:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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dani2015, congrats on finally getting started!

I planned and researched for about six years before finally getting to a place where I could actually TTC. I'm now so over temping and charting and juggling my KD's schedule and arranging shipping, and, mostly, I'm over getting my period every month and immediately moving on to planning the next cycle.

Wow, that was a downer. Huh. What I meant to say was, "Hope your stay is short and sweet, and you're off to the Queer & Pregnant thread quickly!"

Ugh, can you tell I'm anticipating said period to come along tomorrow? This was my first month on the Femara that was actually well-timed and seemed like it could be "my month," so I'm not dealing well with the reality that Femara wasn't the magic bullet for me. There's no reason to get discouraged by one month, but I'm not feeling the reason so much this morning. (I'm pretty sure existential despair is one of my PMS symptoms, which does not make protracted attempts at TTC awesome.)

36, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2015, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .
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#5 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 02:38 PM
 
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Hang in there, fille! Sometimes it's the cycle you're convinced didn't work that did. Fingers crossed for you! I hope you and angeebaby get good news this week.

We're 3 dpo... forgot how slowly these two weeks go by.
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#6 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 04:19 PM
 
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Easttowest- your baby is the cutest!

Dani- yay for getting started!

Fille- I hear ya about temping and not being able to actually TTC. I was on Femara too. It made my follicles develop so much faster!

Afm- we transferred two 5-day blasts 8 days ago. I tested positive on a pee test today! Fingers crossed it sticks though. Our betas are this wed and fri. Please send us good baby vibes!
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#7 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 05:38 PM
 
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Well, this has definitely been that cycle I had no faith in. I felt like I timed everything absolutely perfect and my midwife accommodated my ocd timing requests. Well I have been testing with the el cheapo wondfo tests and had been getting very clear...negatives.

Until today. Today I got a very clear "I'm not sure." I don't mean its positive, I really can't tell, which is planting the seed of hope, but we all know how that feels.

I will test tomorrow morning again. Trying to hold off on using the frer until the wondo looks darker, but maybe frer is more sensitive? Don't want to waste it on a negative.

I will keep you all posted!
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#8 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 06:36 PM
 
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Hi all! Glad to see there's so much action on here. I'm rooting along for all of you - and welcome to the new folks!

Anyway, I wanted to offer: if anyone is shipping fresh sperm by mail, I don't have any vials of the buffer left, but I have packing materials (one or two sets, I think) from our unsuccessful efforts (I think it didn't work for us due to our donor's slightly low motility and morphology - we just had much more success in-person, even though it required flying across the country several times) that I'd be happy to pass along, if anyone wants an extra styrofoam container and freezy thing. Send me a message if you do, and they're yours.

me (34) and dp (39). After 18 months of IVI with a KD and 2 losses excitedly awaiting the arrival of a baby in October 2014! 

****5****10****15****20****25****
30****35***40
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#9 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 06:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, wow. I guess it's okay to let my frustration and negativity out into the world every once in a while, because it sent such positive things back. I went to my KD's wedding last month, and he had a pregnant friend who knew we were trying and was really concerned that being around her would make me sad. Maybe I'll get there someday, but, for now, I'm heartened by each and every person in real life and here on the board who gets to bring a baby into the world. It's harder for some of us than others, but it can happen!

Mamaetmaman, so, so many crossed fingers and good baby vibes for you! Will be waiting impatiently for your beta results!

Angeebaby, I've heard the wondfos are actually pretty sensitive (same as FRER?). I hope you have a definitively positive result tomorrow morning!

One nice thing about the Femara is I feel like I have permission to test, even if it's just a confirmation that my period starting is really my period. (Because it can cause birth defects if taken when pregnant, I need to be 100% sure I'm not pregnant before I start the next month's pills on CD3.) I like that because I really like to POAS, but always feel badly about it--both that I'm being wasteful and that I'm holding out hope when it's not realistic. So, Femara gives me permission to be a crazy tester... just in case.

Actually, there are many nice things about Femara, when I'm not just depressed about the whole world. It seems to have both made my O date more predictable and lengthened my LP (from 11-13 days to 14-16 days). I know a 12 day LP is just on the short side of average, and probably fine, but I've always had the vague worry that a late implanting embryo wouldn't have a chance to nestle in, before it got "flooded out." Which I know is not really how menstruation works, but I find the 14+ day LP reassuring, nonetheless.) I haven't had any of the side effects that I've heard about. (And I'm still a bit worried about the prospect of multiples, but, hey, at this point, I'm game for whatever baby/babies the universe feels like sending along!) So, now all it has to do is work, and I'll proselytize for Femara for life!

36, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2015, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .
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#10 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 08:32 PM
 
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Hi fillefantome - I hope it is dark tomorrow tooo!! I used the FRER back when I first started, but that got expensive real fast! For IUI#6 I ordered a 100 pack of the wondfos, and can you believe I went through them all? I also got very depressed (I had been holding it together really well up to that point, even after my chemical on try #2 ), but the testing just gave me an anxiety I hadn't ever really had about anything before. After #7 failed, I took 2 months off, went to San Diego, had fun, just relaxed and watched tv mostly hah. I needed the mental break. Funny, this time around I lined it all up just the way I wanted, but I didn't seem hopeful at all despite that, and sure enough here it is. (I hope anyway).

I think I needed to get to that point... of sort of giving up hope even though I wasn't giving up. I have said I would be willing to keep trying until I just didn't want to try anymore. First I thought that would be 10 tries, didn't actually think I would need more than 3 or 4 (because I swore I would just be that special)!! But here I am on try #8 , and now I am thinking.. ok.. I will do 3 tries in a row, then mini trip somewhere until I run out of time or money hah.

I think its ok to be negative, I think it is good to accept and experience whatever emotion we have at the time. I have been more blah rather than negative this cycle. I even scheduled a copolscopy (sp?) (nothing serious btw) for next week since I was so sure I was out this cycle anyhow. You would think I would be super giddy and excited right now... I did smile when my neighbor said she thought it might be a very faint positive and that I wasn't imagining it.. but that was it. Besides, I already was on top of the moon once, and that didn't work out. I will get happy I think if I can manage a dark line. Then make it to a scan, then make it to the first trimester, etc, etc.

Oh, and I changed my view on pregnant women and babies. I think they send some sort of pheromones out to prime all the women around them for babies... so I now embrace being around them all, hope that they can somehow positively affect my hormones!! In fact, just before my IUI this month (like the hour before), I went to my friend to hold, feed and smell her 1 month old baby.. I told her my crazy idea and she thought it was great. Then it turned out my midwife's assistant was prego (they were afraid I would be sad if they told me earlier) so I got her pheromones while we did the deed too! Who knows if it works, but hey, it happens in nature, I sort of think our animal instinct can and does take over sometime.

I just want my little happy family. I like your signature, I have 2 dogs and a bird as my crazy family right now I know a baby on my own will not be a piece of cake, but I think I would really enjoy the experience and think I will be a pretty neato mom!

mamaetmaman - I think I am one day behind you (today I am 12 dpo, I am guessing yours would = 13 dpo). Once my line is visible to everyone without xray vision requirements, I will let my midwife know so she can schedule my labs. That would be really cool. We actually skipped HCG the last time.. but of course I am not doing the same procedure as you, so it wasn't as critical. I might even skip them this time again. 6 week scan on the other hand, that is a nice thought.

easttowest - do you mind telling me what you and your wife's ages are? If this little egg hatches, I will be 39 by the delivery date. I am up in the air about a second, and with only 2 vials it means I might have to resort to more drastic measures (doing unmedicated iui right now). I get a little overwhelmed with the thought of it all, but I at least like knowing I have the option in case I decide I am all in for another.

dani - once I made the decision and actually did the "deed" for my first cycle, I had no idea of course what the outcome would be, but it didn't matter. I think that biggest obstacle was deciding to start.. I was so excited and smiling, you couldn't get me off my cloud That was a happy day for me. Wishing you lots of luck

lea - you are almost there!! omg so happy for you. Early congratulations

wow... did I write a book or what!! Maybe I am a bit more excited than I realize Just did 3 more POAS... still super faint. hah.. i love wondfos.
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#11 of 43 Old 08-11-2014, 09:01 PM
 
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Angeebaby - If it's super faint, that's still positive! A line is a line. Thinking good thoughts for you that it's darker tomorrow!
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#12 of 43 Old 08-12-2014, 07:17 AM
 
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Ok, did 2 wondfo tests (of course, OCD with this again). Turns out I only have one FRER left, so I will wait until Thursday (period is due tomorrow, Wednesday). So yesterday, I could barely make out the faint line, and if I took a pic of it, it wouldn't show up at all. Today, I can take a pic, so maybe this is official???? It is still light, but viewable without squinting.

I have read enough posts to know chemicals can happen multiple times... so.. still holding my breath. Hope I can get to a 6 week scan!!!
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38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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#13 of 43 Old 08-12-2014, 09:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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angeebaby! Whatever happens in the future (and my fingers, toes, wrists, and ankles are crossed for a very sticky baby), you are pregnant today!!!!!!

36, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2015, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .
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#14 of 43 Old 08-12-2014, 01:30 PM
 
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fillefantom - thank you I needed to hear that. I went home and did a digital (knowing what it would say). The other 6 wondfos can't all be wrong. I will embrace today
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#15 of 43 Old 08-13-2014, 07:02 AM
 
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Congrats angeebaby! Wishing you a long and healthy pregnancy!
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#16 of 43 Old 08-13-2014, 10:46 AM
 
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Easttowest - thank you! Well I am stressed today. My period is due today and my wondfo was no darker today than yesterday. Hopefully its darker tomorrow due to hcg doubling. Worried.

I was so uncomfortable last night. I am a side sleeper, have been my entire life, but I couldn't get comfy last night at all. My hips were hurting big time. I have one of those memory foam mattresses, so I shouldn't feel anything. Ended up having to sleep on my back w a pillow under my knees.

I'm guessing I won't be able to use a digital test until Saturday at this rate. I have a pack of 3 w the weeks estimate. Feeling ok, just not excited yet.
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#17 of 43 Old 08-14-2014, 06:15 AM
 
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Angeebaby: I'm so happy for you and I hope you can feel comfortable to be happy soon too!

Mamaetmaman: I'm thinking of you today and hoping your beta went well :-)

There's nothing new with me. I'm just trying to eat healthy and squash my anxiety about my impending iui and new job starting September. I hope everyone else is doing well - I'm enjoying this cooler weather in upstate ny today, it's getting me excited for fall!
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#18 of 43 Old 08-14-2014, 06:28 AM
 
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It is now the morning after Af was to arrive, very stressed yesterday. I got some advice that wondfos sometimes never get dark, so I busted out the frer and digital. Frer got a line within seconds and the digital told me 1-2 weeks.

Still took another wondfo and still a barely there line, so they may show early but who knows if its a batch thing that keeps them light.

I just went through a mini emotional rollercoaster, but I am settling on happy. Hope this little bean sticks w me! I still can't believe it.

Fille and easttowest - thinking of both of you today and crossing my fingers!
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#19 of 43 Old 08-14-2014, 09:12 AM
 
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Congratulations angeebaby! Glad you settled on happy. I'm happy for you!

Any news fille? I hope it's good.

Just hanging out at 6 dpo. Going away for the weekend and then may test on Monday if we're feeling into it. Got the first positive at 9 dpo with our first, so it wouldn't be crazy to test at 10 dpo... but it would be setting ourselves up for disappointment.
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#20 of 43 Old 08-18-2014, 06:00 AM
 
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Fille- I liked how Femara shortened my FP and lengthened my LP too. Honestly, a 34-36 day cycle seems like forever. Any news?

Angee- congrats on the BFP! Honestly, the brightness of the second line isn't significant. Those Wondfo strips don't ever get very dark. They are what's called "qualitative HCG" tests- they just say "yay" or "nay". And for you it's all YAY!! Congrats girl!

Dani- good luck with the new job! When is your IUI?

East- I hope you had a great weekend! Are you testing today? Fingers crossed for you!

AFM- well, that BFP turned into a positive beta and a doubling time of 54 hours! So I guess I'm pregnant! I'm all on edge though, because my HCG levels were so low. 33 on Wednesday and then 61 on Friday. But I've read that as long as it's doubling within 48-72 hours, we're all good. The RE wants me to repeat the beta on Friday to make sure things are still all good. I'll feel a lot better about things if that goes well.
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#21 of 43 Old 08-18-2014, 08:35 AM
 
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mm - congratulations! Woohoooo! So excited for you!

Yea, I felt better after ibused the frer and digital. In fact, I did another digital yesterday (I am not going in for hcg labs) and the weeks estimator increased from 1-2 weeks reading in Thursday to 2-3 weeks yesterday, so I am in the 200-2000 range, yay! I know, big range hah. I will test again Saturday and hoping the reading will then be 3+ (over 2000 hcg).

Fille and east - how are you feeling? Thinking of you both.
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#22 of 43 Old 08-18-2014, 11:48 AM
 
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Congrats mm!! It's good that it's doubling, I don't think it's too much of a big deal what the actual numbers are. But I certainly understand being anxious until you're really sure it's sticking around. Good luck!

We had a great weekend away with baby and grandparents (my parents). Going to drop them at the airport tonight and probably pick up a test on the way home... so I'll keep you all posted.
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#23 of 43 Old 08-19-2014, 01:27 PM
 
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CD1. Back to waiting to O, please.
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#24 of 43 Old 08-19-2014, 02:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Bummer, easttowest!

Me too. After a 17 day LP--I didn't mean to jinx myself with that "lengthened LP is good" talk--my period started on Friday.

I talked with my best friend, who lives in Germany, this weekend, and have started making plans to visit her. (It's been five years since we've seen each other, so this is awesome.) When depends on baby stuff, though, which is frustrating. The issue is that I have a bunch of built up vacation time that won't roll over to next year--but I'm hoping if I'm pregnant in time this year to tell our HR dept, they'll let me roll it over to use for maternity leave (so I can take at least my 12 weeks fully paid). If I don't get pregnant next month at the latest, I'll need to use up at least two weeks worth of vacation time by the end of December, so I'm thinking I'll go visit her then. Alternately, if I do get pregnant this month or next month, and HR will let me roll over the time, I'm thinking of visiting her (with baby) next summer. I don't know if this is a crazy, crazy idea--but she moved to Germany with a month old baby, and doesn't think the transatlantic journey is that bad. So, yeah, so much depends on my uterus right now, and it's being terribly uncooperative with my future planning efforts.

Angeebaby, do you want me to move you to be graduated?

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#25 of 43 Old 08-19-2014, 05:04 PM
 
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Fille and east -- I am sorry AF came again, I know the disappointment. Just keep focused on the next step!

Fille - not sure I want to move to graduated yet. Can you just leave me here for now? I am not yet accepting that this will stick. Nothing has happened to make me feel otherwise, I guess I just don't want to get excited and then be disappointed again. Tomorrow will be week 5, my last chemical was 5w5d. I know one has nothing to do with the other, its just I learned there is nothing easy about this journey, so another hurdle would really not shock me.

I was trying to focus on the positives of it working out this way (not that I didn't want the previous positive cycle to continue) and my finances are in a better shape and I just got my old house on the market just this weekend. It would have been difficult to do both at the same time and be pregnant. I also got some final chances to date and relive that disappointment hah, which only reaffirms my decision to do this solo and not really seek out a partner for a very long time. I want to focus on stability for my little baby, whenever they should arrive. But it was a good experience nonetheless. I should also have my capstone completed in 6 months, which will wrap up my degree. I doubt I will have time or energy later, and I definitely wouldn't have these past 6 months.

I have been in the same boat about travel. Friends who mean well but don't get it, have been saying, but you're not pregnant, so you can travel. Yea, but the stress of bringing along my ovulation strips or counting my cycle and having to place sperm orders, anticipate BFP or BFN, no way, I can't do both! So I totally understand! The only thing was last month, I took an extended weekend trip (along with a 2 cycle break from trying) to just totally unwind, and it did help me feel very relaxed.

I already have a tentative ultrasound scheduled for 6w3d, so I will keep you ladies posted. I think I can finally have some excitement at that point.

38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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#26 of 43 Old 08-20-2014, 07:37 AM
 
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Ok ladies, I've decided to get out of my funk! Woke up this morning and took the dogs out, then cooked a very healthy breakfast and off to work! I'm going to make myself be positive, even if I have to twist my own arm to do it!

Fille - can you move me to graduated?

Good morning everyone, hope your day is great
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#27 of 43 Old 08-21-2014, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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angeebaby, you're now officially graduated!



I'm hoping that your road will be smooth until you have a beautiful baby in your arms next spring (and beyond)!

36, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2015, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .
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#28 of 43 Old 08-22-2014, 09:30 AM
 
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Thank you fille and everyone! I will keep you all posted
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#29 of 43 Old 08-25-2014, 12:34 PM
 
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Congratulations officially, angee! Hope everything's going well over there.

Over here, just hanging out at CD 7. Will start temping and testing soon, although we still have to decide how we're even trying next week, fresh or frozen, IVI or IUI. It's certainly been a frustrating process this time around, but I do want another kid, so we're going to have to go through it...

How about you, fille and everyone else waiting?
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#30 of 43 Old 08-25-2014, 08:31 PM
 
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Thanks easttowest! I am still hanging in there... still accepting that this is real.. but I am slowly letting the excitement creep in. Today I actually sounded excited telling my regular OBGYN that I was pregnant (I cancelled an appointment and she wanted to know why). This weekend when I do an ultrasound, given everything turns out ok, I will finally be 100% excited. Holding my breath just a little longer! I keep getting bad AF cramps though, so I still get worried every day. But I think it is finally sinking in a bit

38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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