Single lesbian mothers...are you out there? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 56 Old 04-20-2005, 06:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well dang! Where are all you IRL? I can't find any single lesbian mama's 'round here to date...come on...who's in CT..anyone...anyone? (are those crickets I hear?)
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#32 of 56 Old 04-20-2005, 06:54 PM
 
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LOL! i feel the same way, but it could just be because i don't get out much. i would think going to a community college would give me more prospects, but i don't think so, unless my gaydar is way off, which is a good possibility considering that i'm pretty new to the game

i did notice that most of us here are the majority of the single mama's too, do you think we should have a single/queer parenting fusion? it would save the trouble of checking 2 threads instead of one, these are the only 2 i visit at MDC

how about everyone who visits this site just moves to cleveland, oh. then we can all meet for coffee and i won't have to move :LOL . wow how else can MDC members make my life easier

but back to the topic, i have done some very honest soul searching lately and i am sure that i am 100% lesbian. i thought it could be because of the abuse i've suffered from relationships w/ men, but i've been super attracted to women my whole life(girls when i was a lil girl), but anyways, and i have forced myself into three longterm heterosexual relationships. i had been brainwashed into the nuclear family modle and the thought of why i hated sex and always commented on a hot girl walking by instead of a guy, never occured to me, until now.

so anyways to answer the thread question, yes, there is another single gay & proud(except to my family who i haven't come out to yet) mama to add to the list. happy to be here with ya'll :
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#33 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 12:56 AM
 
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thats why we need the pins!!!

today i was out and about and really aware of guys checking me out and i was like.. D"AMN?" why dont any girls check me out!! i live in the most queer populated part of this city ( for woman anyways)

question.. would any of you get involved with another single queer momma?

 

 

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#34 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 01:16 AM
 
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yes!
I am. well I have a "friend" she is in a hetro relationship. But her guy totally understands. We are mostly friends, but that is because both of us are scared, confused, ect... Plus, I would hate to lose the friend that I have so much in common with. oh yeah, she is a single mom too!

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#35 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 01:25 AM
 
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i don't see why not. i love kids, so that wouldn't be a problem. i guess i would like to know that she is looking for somthing that could get serious, and not just screwin' around.
i'd love for my lil fiona to have another mama too...after reading "The Red Tent" i feel like every kiddo needs at least two women in a mothering role for them. i wish i would have searched my whole childhood for a second mom, instead of trying to replace my father....does that make sence to ya'll, or is it just past my bedtime

oh yeah, corysmilk:
i was in the same situation, and i guess the offer is still on the table, but she is my only good friend and we've been bf's for years, so i chose not to go there, she is a lesbian(but claims to be bi) and engaged to a guy. she was so excited when i told her that i realized i am a lesbian, that she offered to be my first girl, but she totally agreed that it may not be good, considering i'm already a lil jealouse of her fiance ...
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#36 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 01:27 AM
 
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#37 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 07:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaFern

question.. would any of you get involved with another single queer momma?

Yes, I have and it really was nice. Her son is the same age as my kids, our kids all go to school together and my son and her son are tight. They always want to be together at school, so much so that the teacher has to seperate them sometimes. Now if she wasn't such a headtrip.... but that is a whole 'nother story.

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#38 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 07:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaFern
question.. would any of you get involved with another single queer momma?
I was for quite a while. It was wonderful. The other relationships I've been in have been OK, but being a parent, especially one who has this AP lifestyle, is so different than the average 35yo single lesbians life. It was great being with someone who lead the same kind of life (we met at LLL hee hee).
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#39 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 01:04 PM
 
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(we met at LLL hee hee).
:LOL
I think my LLL friends would just have a cow. I guess all they would have to do was a search on here.

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#40 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 02:23 PM
 
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i want my pin!

i am bi and i haven't found myself truly attracted to a man in quite some time. i live in the same house with my daughter's dad but we are poly, and on top of that, are in the process of redefining our relationship (we have been more like roommates for a long time- he has his own room), so i definitely consider myself to be a single mama in relationship terms, if not in raising a child alone terms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaFern

question.. would any of you get involved with another single queer momma?
i would. that's what i would prefer, since we would have each other to identify with about parenting issues. i have a hard enough time with my friends who don't have kids not understanding a lot of what i talk about- i definitely wouldn't want to have to deal with that with a girl i was dating!

this post makes me wonder how many of the other mamas i see around town are queer too and i'm just not picking them up on my gaydar... i know they're not picking me up on theirs!
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#41 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 08:39 PM
 
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god, good point lynsage! i would have to say that i would prefer a mama too, now that i think of it. since i've had fiona, i have sought out friends who have kids, so why would a partner be any different?

good question cmb123! got me thinkin'(that's no small feat, j/k :LOL i overthink EVERYTHING! )
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#42 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 08:46 PM
 
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i was asking mostly because i too feel like if i got in a relationship with someone i would have to feell ike they are on the same page as me, in terms of family importance and stuff..

i guess i get down thinking about having to find someone new and then have them not be into being a family. it happens with guys as well as woman.. i know a lot of queer woman who want nothing to do with kids... i just hope i dont fall in love with one of those.. !

 

 

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#43 of 56 Old 04-21-2005, 09:39 PM
 
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sorry mamafern i didn't do my hw b4 my last post...thank YOU for the question posed
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#44 of 56 Old 04-22-2005, 08:55 PM
 
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youre welcome.. mostly i was asking because im pregnant with my sons dad but im not "with" him.. im 3 months almost and i wonder if i met someone would they want to be a part of that and everything. i would LOVE to meet a pregnant queer momma and take care of her :LOL so there must be more of us out there!

 

 

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#45 of 56 Old 04-23-2005, 04:04 AM
 
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OMG that sounds sooooo cool! i would love to give a pregnant mama the love and attention she deserves that i didn't get! i am a super nuturer at heart(which has gotten me in a bit of trouble) and especially knowing the love and attention i craved i think it would feel sooooo good to give that to another deserving goddess! what a happy thought :
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#46 of 56 Old 04-23-2005, 10:13 AM
 
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this subject is close to my heart because i was dating a girl right before i got pg with my daughter, and when i told the her about it she dropped me like a hot potato (i don't think she was ready for a poly bi girlfriend OR a pregnant one...but that's a story for another thread!).

how awesome would it be to have a pregnant girlfriend?

i know there were many days during my pregnancy when i wished i had a gf to take care of me and be there with me in a way that i don't think most men can be with a pregnant woman. i'm sure there are some men that "get it" and know how to take care of a pregnant mama, but having a nice soft woman there to rub your back and brew up your raspberry leaf tea, and actually know what you're going through...that would be heaven.

if i met the right girl, maybe even someone i wanted to be monogamous with, and she was pregnant, i'd love taking care of her and emotionally supporting her. i think it would be so good for the relationship to have someone who really understood what you were going through, you know?

i feel the same way about my best friend who is about to start trying to get pregnant, too. i just want to go live with her in seattle and help her husband take care of her, and support them both with massages and giant vegetarian meals, and always be there with the tea and the warm rice bag. i wonder if there is such a thing as a whole-pregnancy doula. i think i'd be great at it!
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#47 of 56 Old 04-23-2005, 10:18 AM
 
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I would SO LOVE to be with a PG woman! It is really my dream, to find a nice girl, settle down and start dreaming up a family. Then following through and creating that family.

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#48 of 56 Old 04-23-2005, 11:54 AM
 
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i guess im wishing i had that.. someone to take care of me. i felt so stong with elwynn. his dad was around but he was a boy, still is and not supportive in the ways that i needed at all.. this time he isnt in the picture at all and the only people ive told are two of my good friends. i dont feel like i have any support right now and i think im feeling pretty lonely because of that.

anyways, i ran into a woman i knew from when i used to live in the city..we didnt really stay close the three years i lived away, but she was soo happy to see me and invited me to her birthday party tonight. i was totally crushing on her pisces girlfriend years ago and she knew it too.. i didnt hide it. they arent together anymore and the woman i had a crush on doesnt live in the city now.. but maybe ill meet someone at her party.. there is always that possibility. ihavent gone to many social gathering since i moved back to the city, so im looking forward to it.

 

 

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#49 of 56 Old 04-24-2005, 04:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MamaFern! How was the party?
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#50 of 56 Old 04-25-2005, 12:18 AM
 
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umm.. it was okay. i did post a thread on the single parenting board today because of some friends who felt the need to bash my being a single momma.. and pregnant . the "havnt you ever heard of a condom" comment kinda threw me for a loop. yeah. did you ever think that maybe i WANTED another baby???? is thatSOOOO CRAZY? *sigh* i guess i need to find some other friends childless lesbians sure dont get it ( at least the ones i know..).

 

 

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#51 of 56 Old 04-25-2005, 08:12 AM
 
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How sad mamafern. I'm sorry you got those comments, how rude.

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#52 of 56 Old 04-25-2005, 10:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That's a bummer. I actually replied to that other post..it didn't occur to me that that happened at the party.
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#53 of 56 Old 04-25-2005, 03:58 PM
 
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that's terrible, mama fern. i hope you can find some people that are more supportive to spend your time with.
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#54 of 56 Old 04-26-2005, 02:52 AM
 
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So, I wanted to meet other mamadykes in my community for playgroups, family friendly stitch'n'bitch, book clubs, whatever...you know the idea, right? So I posted on Craig's list in the w4w section and got a decent response. I wasn't really looking to date, but I did meet an interesting group of women that are in the same or similiar boat....

I totally relate to the being overlooked because I don't scream QUEER!!! And I'm kind of shy too, so it's almost impossible to actually let someone know I'm interested. I hate when the obvious lesbo couple look right over me...and how dorky is to say, hey you, yeah, I'm one too. Look at me. Sigh....the bane of being a shy femme w/ kids in tow I guess.

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#55 of 56 Old 04-26-2005, 07:59 AM
 
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I think that the people that I want to know I am lesbo know that I am when they meet me. Like if I'm shopping and see a hot chic I look her in the eyes and don't look away. I smile, I say hi. I don't get any dates that way, yet anyways :LOL but I think that they know just by the way they respond.

I am pretty confident and do what I want though. I don't worry about what others think, especially in a place like the grocery store where I'll probably never see those people again.

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#56 of 56 Old 04-26-2005, 12:22 PM
 
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thats reallyt great idea mtnhighmama! i was thinking of doing something like that here.. maybe put up notices in the community for a queer mammas and wannabe mammas potluck in the park or something.. i also want to plan a kids bike parade. i used to go to those where we would all decorate our bikes and ride around with streamers and those things you put on your spokes that makes sounds.. maybe i could do something like that as well as the potluck. pull them together, but i wouldnt want to disclude straight folks either.

 

 

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