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#61 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 03:37 AM
 
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Hi Sadie!

Outings not poutings... :LOL
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#62 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 03:43 AM
 
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when I was a young little spud fresh to san francisco i worked with these very wonderful dykes who basically told me that whether I knew it or not i was queer, queer, queer. i guess i set off their gaydar. :LOL

huh, you know when i saw this thread title in tao I was pleasantly surprised to see queer talk in the big spaces, y'know?

maybe we should have an "out yourself" thread. :LOL

hi, thismama!
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#63 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 03:53 AM
 
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I think it is this: The thread was started in QP. There are people here who make a point of simply avoiding QP as a part of their peace deal with the great MDC liberal agenda. But now here this is... smack dab in the middle of TAO. Now, to the ostriches I say, too bad. We're here, we're queer, make room for us. But to the queers who posted in a small space specifically designated as safe and to now find it out here... well, if you're not okay, I'm not okay. Let's fix this.
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#64 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 04:11 AM
 
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kama'aina mama, you get it. Thank you. The Queer PArenting board is a small group, and it's different when you feel like you're posting with the group of people you know, to get their feedback. When one of those threads is taken and shared with the general population, then the words you'd intended only for a like-minded group are no open-season for anybody and everybody. Going from gay-friendly, to often NOT gay-friendly with no warning is really disconcerting and uncomfortable.

I can totally see your point, too, thismama, about QP being an open forum where anyone can go and read, etc, but people who aren't supportive don't generally reply, you know? And it is true that it is a queer parenting board, which is where I think the confusion lies. Since it is the only queer board, I think many don't think to limit it to parenitng, but aren't comfortable with it being in the general population. Perhaps a forum name change might be in order. (Queer Folks, instead of QP?)
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#65 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 04:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AdinaL
The voe occured because I wasn't aware this was anything but a fluff thread. And since it seemed to be a chatty thread, it got moved to TAO. If this was a specific Queer Parenting issue - then I missed that.

This thread is how old? It was in queer parenting for quite some time. I don't believe I've ever just posted to the whole group of TAO people that *HEY I"M GAY*, So thanks for doing that for me Adina. Geez. I knew it was possible for anyone to find me in Queer parenting and I'm not ashamed of who I am. I just feel this was really uncalled for and after the night I've had (I was sexually assualted in the bar by a man) I'm feeling really damn bitchy.

I mean really. Gay. Gaydar. Queer. Parenting. Queer parenting. I don't understand the move. I was discussing a topic about queers and wanted to discuss with other queers... Not every thousandth person that comes into TAO. Look how many replies now since it was moved. I wonder how many are actually gay.

MDC sucks my ass.

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#66 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 04:35 AM
 
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s wemoon
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#67 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 05:18 AM
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Good lord.

Sorry - I went out with my family today. I was not sitting on the board watching everything that happened. I replied earlier and then left until just now. 1:17am my time.

I apologize for moving the thread. I too "get it". Kama knows me well enough to know that. I understand the need for a safe haven here at MDC for the GLBTQ members. You may not see it, because it is behind the scenes - but I am a VERY loud advocate for that forum, and for all of you. I am bi. There outed myself too. I also am a mod - I did some housecleaning last night in all of my forums. Many threads got moved. I moved probably 12 in Fertility alone, several in N&CE and one in QP. I read through this thread, and it seemed to me to be as thismama said - Queer TAO...not Queer Parenting. So I moved it. I know it was old, and I know I didn't move it before. All of which I apologize for. For criminy's sake...I wasn't trying to piss anyone off, or to hurt anyone, or to make anyone's life suck, or out anyone against their will. I WAS NOT AWARE THAT THIS WAS ANYTHING OTHER THAN A FLUFFY THREAD. Period.

I will move it BACK to QP now.

As for MDC sucking your ass - perhaps you should have engaged in a dialog with ME about why it should be moved back instead of trashing me and the board publicly.

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#68 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 05:28 AM
 
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Okay... there was a misunderstanding, emptions ran high... can we just move past that? Focus on what binds us rather than what seperates us... speak to each other one on one and settle our differences? There is not a single person in this thread whose heart isn't in the right place.... please, take time before you post here.
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#69 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 07:55 AM
 
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Hey I hope I haven't offended anybody earlier by mentioning my "straigh-dar" and how inaccurate it cannot BUT be. My post was tongue in cheek, but I often forget that my name isn't as familiar as it was a few years ago, when everybody who'd have read my post would have known. I'm glad I found this post in TAO, I rarely go here anymore exactly because of what tao and a few other forums have become, and it's so relieving to find a thread like this. And it just cracks me up that people still believe that lesbians can be recognized by their body type and gay men by their grooming.

But I'm queer and here. And I'm glad this thread is back where it's safe.

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#70 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 08:12 AM
 
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You don't REALLY think gone = forgotten, do you simonee? We know you.
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#71 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 08:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Look how many replies now since it was moved. I wonder how many are actually gay.
For the record... definitely queer here. You can check out my original intro post in Pleased To Meet You where I outed myself. I just happened to see this thread in TAO... thought it was neat at the time to see a friendly "gay related" post out in the general chat area but I can definitely see where that would be disconcerting if that isn't where it started.

Me: married to my :fireman Mama to my littles: Toby 8/04 and Elina 10/08
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#72 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Adina. I did fly off the handle last night. Maybe more than I should have, but I was rather shocked to see this thread in TAO. Yea, it was a little more fluffier, but still totally queer related. Right? How does this thread not relate to queer parenting? We are mom's trying to figure out who else out there is gay and how we can somehow let others know we are gay so we can find partners. It is a difficult situation. No one thinks a mom is gay. Right after I tell chics that I am a mom it seems like their attitude switches a little and I have to outright say.... YES, I am indeed GAY, I know I have kids, yes I've been with a man, but I'm GAY. It is hard. It is a queer parenting issue.

Anyone can come here if they feel like discussing QP topics. That is fine. I really didn't want to announce to everyone on TAO that I was gay. I really didn't. I'm not ashamed or even hiding it because I do post here. All of my friends here know I'm gay. There is just A LOT of people in TAO and I don't know half of them. This is just something I want to share with friends and other queer-folk, not to every person that wanders into TAO who are obviously going to click on a thread entitled *GAYDAR*.

*sigh*

I'll get over it. It really isn't as big of a deal as what I went through last night. I was slapped hard on the ass by some jerk in the bar. We got into a screaming fit and he says the stupidest things... None of my other chic friends care... ME: You don't even know me! Him: I'm sorry, I didn't know ME: Yea obviously you didn't know HIM: Your just different than everyone else I know ME: I don't get what that means, you think you own all women and can just violate their bodies whenever you want? HIM: Are you a lesbian ME: what the fuck does that have to do with anything HIM: Well, maybe that explains why your so pissed ME: Yea, I am a lesbian, and I would be just as pissed if a chic slapped my ass if it was in the same situation. HIM: Oh your a dyke, yea that is why your so pissed ME: NO. IT is not because I'm a dyke that I'm so pissed, it is because you touched my body when I didn't want you to.

On and On and On.

And I got him kicked out of the bar. I'm sobbing in the bar. My bouncer friend was just telling me to let it go. I'm like MAN... you SAW him slap my ass. You are the bouncer. This is your job, to keep everyone safe and happy in the bar. I feel very unsafe and violated. This is *MY* bar, all my friends and your going to let some asshole do this to me. I thought you were my friend. After that he looks at me, gets up and kicks him out. I'm so proud of him.

And the girl I'm dating told me I just need to get over it. I'm so pissed at her. How could she even say that to me.

So now knowing the full story behind my evening, maybe you can understand why I flipped so bad. It was just the last thing I could take. I'm sorry to be so completely bitchy, I could have done that better. I was a major bitch last night after that chain of events.

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#73 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 04:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wemoon
We are mom's trying to figure out who else out there is gay and how we can somehow let others know we are gay so we can find partners.
That is why I moved it back. Now that I understand that is the intent of the thread - I agree it should be in here.

We have had other Gaydar threads in the past and they have ended up in TAO. Hence the voe and the confusion etc, etc, etc.


Quote:
I'll get over it. It really isn't as big of a deal as what I went through last night. I was slapped hard on the ass by some jerk in the bar. We got into a screaming fit and he says the stupidest things... None of my other chic friends care... ME: You don't even know me! Him: I'm sorry, I didn't know ME: Yea obviously you didn't know HIM: Your just different than everyone else I know ME: I don't get what that means, you think you own all women and can just violate their bodies whenever you want? HIM: Are you a lesbian ME: what the fuck does that have to do with anything HIM: Well, maybe that explains why your so pissed ME: Yea, I am a lesbian, and I would be just as pissed if a chic slapped my ass if it was in the same situation. HIM: Oh your a dyke, yea that is why your so pissed ME: NO. IT is not because I'm a dyke that I'm so pissed, it is because you touched my body when I didn't want you to.

On and On and On.

And I got him kicked out of the bar. I'm sobbing in the bar. My bouncer friend was just telling me to let it go. I'm like MAN... you SAW him slap my ass. You are the bouncer. This is your job, to keep everyone safe and happy in the bar. I feel very unsafe and violated. This is *MY* bar, all my friends and your going to let some asshole do this to me. I thought you were my friend. After that he looks at me, gets up and kicks him out. I'm so proud of him.

And the girl I'm dating told me I just need to get over it. I'm so pissed at her. How could she even say that to me.

HOLY CRAP!!! That sounds awful! I probably would have slugged the guy. I hate people like that. I am glad he got kicked out! I would be pissed and shaken about it too if it had happened to me.

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#74 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 04:33 PM
 
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Oh wemoon that really sucks. big lezza hugs to you
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#75 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 04:39 PM
 
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Wemoon - Holy geez about that guy. And about your friends not supporting you. That sucks big time.

Adina - I would have moved this thread too, before really "getting" why mamas want it here.

Simonee -

Kama - Nice sig! :LOL
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#76 of 76 Old 05-08-2005, 07:11 PM
 
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wemoon. I'm so sorry you went through that.
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