Wow! That is quite a bit of information! I don't really have anything new to add, only my own story, and how we came to the decisions we did. When we first decided to TTC, we thought about asking a close friend of ours. We had casually mentioned it to him, but not really discussed it, but then changed our minds for several reasons. One, as close as we are, we were afraid that it would be difficult for him, and us, to not see him as a "father," and felt that it would be unfair to him, and that it may be more difficult for him than he would think beforehand. (does that make sense?) Also, since he really is a closer friend of mine, and people have thought things in the past with us anyway, and since I would be carrying the baby, that my dp would feel resentment at some point, or that it would be too difficult for her to separate him from his sperm. So we decided to go through a sperm bank, one that our Dr. used regularly. And we decided to go with the the non ID release donor, because, we felt it would be confusing to ds when he gets older, to tell him that donor is not "father" in any way, but he can locate and contact him. We felt it would blur the lines too much, and by taking away that possibility, we would prevent ds from having to make that kind of decision. I'm not saying it was right or wrong, but I feel it was right for us. Our ds will always know who his parents are - not the same as parents who gave us dc for adoption. Which leads me to my last point - now that we are working on the adoption - had we used a known donor, it would be a lot more difficult to get through the second parent adoption, as he would have to give up his parental rights first.
All in all - I am happy with the way that we decided to go about this. Our dr. was excellent, and talked us through each decision without any bias at all. We were very fortunate, as I needed no fertility drugs, and was able to conceive after one try. And we have been blessed with a beautiful, happy, healthy ds, who just turned 1 on Saturday, and has already changed our world, and the world of those around us, by proving that two women can raise a child just as well, or even better, than a man and a woman.