Single queer mamas? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 45 Old 07-15-2005, 07:43 PM
 
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Wow! Finding this thread is so exciting!!

I feel like one of the only single lesbian Mums in the universe! I've been single for years and I love being a single Mum, I can't imagine sharing this.

As for the libido (or lack of it) I had plenty of fun during my pregnancy but since I had my beautiful baby boy 4.5 months ago my sex drive has gone AWOL. This has never happened in my life before so it's a bit odd but probably a blessing really!

I have to agree that Elwyn is just about the most adorable little boy I've ever seen - apart from Jessy of course! It's also fantastic to see another Mum who dresses her boy in pink. I get a lot of strong reactions because Jessy wears pink (along with lots of other colours!)

Well, he's squirming around and sucking my neck so it's time to go!
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#32 of 45 Old 07-15-2005, 08:21 PM
 
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welcome!!

i think its silly to segregate colors for boys and girls.. why should he wear pink and striped tights if he likes? im glad to hear that there are other moms out there that agree with me.. most of the time i get odd looks when someone says "what a beautiful little girl you have" and i say.. " oh, hes a boy" meanwhile he is wearing pink or a dress.. :LOL he likes it and so do i so.. who cares!

but back to being single and queer..

im excited about this weekend.. but i have a feeling its going to be the same as usual.. i go and everyone assumes im happily married with kids.. arg. how does one get around that . i dont want to be so obvious that im screaming it out or having it tattoo'd on my head either..

 

 

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#33 of 45 Old 07-15-2005, 09:40 PM
 
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Go for it! Seriously, before I had a kid I used to make t-shirts before going ot with such classics as "Trick" and "Toybox" "for Sale" and "ho ho ho" (at the holidays). Cheesy to say the least (the very least lol). Anyhow after Bliss was born I made him a "made by dykes" onesie and a "future feminist" one and I made myself a "dyke activist mama" shirt for marches and whatnot. So why not make one saying "single dyke mama" or whatever terms you id with??? It sure eases things for those who meet you and is terrific advertising. If I had any cool thing to go to I think I would do the same.
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#34 of 45 Old 07-16-2005, 12:00 AM
 
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I am intersted in the Rainbow Parents group though. (In a totally platonic, not triggering my commitment issues kinda way. )
Medusa, LOL I was kidding about the friends set up. But the Rainbow Parents group is cool! PM me and I will send you the link. It's a yahoo group website.
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#35 of 45 Old 07-16-2005, 06:36 PM
 
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Hi, thanks for the welcome.

It sounds like you guys have lots of great events to go to. Where abouts are you? I lived in San Francisco for 3 months and I would have absolutley loved to live there and raise a child but I don't think it's possible for me. I came back to the UK to get pregnant which is the best thing I've ever done, but I don't feel I have access to the same kind of culture here.

I haven't been in touch with my active feminist side since I left University nearly 5 years ago. I do know a few other gay Mums but no-one who is immediately local. You are suddenly thrown into this very straight world and I find myself with people talking about their husbands and their latest kitchen extension and how they wouldn't breastfeed a baby past 4 months old...

Mamafern, I wish I knew someone like you and we could take our little pink boys out together! Jessy isn't old enough for me to know whether he likes pink but I don't see why he shouldn't get to enjoy all colours. People always say things like, 'oh poor Jessy' or 'what are you doing to him??' I'd be too scared to take him out in a dress for fear that someone would report me to social services!!

Anyway, this doesn't have a great deal to do with single queer parenting specifically - I'm just still excited to have found some others so I'm rambling on about anything. Hope you don't mind.
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#36 of 45 Old 07-16-2005, 09:05 PM
 
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My son wears dresses, he began picking them off the sale rack at Target when he was about 13 months or so. They are definately easier than pants. This summer he isn't as interested but I still offer them as a choice regularly. He wears lots of pinks and even glitter. Loves my glitter lipgloss and looks sooo cute in it. Bright and shiney and glittery are fun for a youngster regardless of the gender and I think it's so sad when I hear moms saying "you can't do that" and "no sweety, dresses are for girls" at stores sometimes.

In reference to what you were saying Lucy, I found that while a common denomonater that I enjoyed pre-child was being around other queer dyke feminist types, or even just gayhood in general, post-child it became quickly clear that the important commonality was going to be parenting beliefs. I went to some rainbow families picnics and was stunned at some of the parenting styles. I don't know why I thought gay should equal my own beliefs but I did. LOL Now I have with my AP mama friends and my GD mama friends. I wish I knew some gay mama's in my groups, every so oftn a bi one comes through, but I definately feel the shift in priorities in who I want to hang with.
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#37 of 45 Old 07-17-2005, 02:35 AM
 
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I just had to tell someone I FINALLY got pics on my sig of bliss
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#38 of 45 Old 07-17-2005, 02:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bleurae
I just had to tell someone I FINALLY got pics on my sig of bliss
He's beautiful! One of these days I need to get a pic album but first I need to get some pic's of dd and I together. That's the one thing that sucks about being single, no one to take pic's for you! We only get them if we go to picture people

Seriously?
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#39 of 45 Old 07-17-2005, 07:22 PM
 
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Hi,

You're certainly right that things change. I do feel that it's more important to me to hang out with other Mums. Luckily I know one Mum who parents in the same way as I do, but with all the others I find myself either biting my lip or ranting on as they sit and talk about how they could never breastfeed a baby past 4 months old and look at me blankly when I talk about slings. I do have a La Leche League griup which I get to occassionally and that keeps me sane!

I'd love to feel that I could buy Jessy a dress. He has a cute little white nighty with frilly sleeves and he looks so cute in that but I really don't think I would dare to take him out in a dress even though I really believe I should be able to. I would be genuinley worried that I might run into difficulties with a health professional or something.

Bliss is adorable! I can't even work out how to get a signature let alone a picture! I have a gorgeous picture of Jessy I'd love to show you.
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#40 of 45 Old 07-17-2005, 07:30 PM
 
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lol, I am pretty ok with puter stuff and I had such a time of it getting the sig done ...and then adding the pics link??? HAHAHAHAH You should of heard the expletives coming outta my mouth at 10:30 at night last night. lol

I would love to see Jessy, feelfree to pvt me for email.
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#41 of 45 Old 07-20-2005, 03:26 PM
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bleurae, the pigtails pic totally cracked me up. Bliss is beautiful - your whole family is!!
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#42 of 45 Old 07-20-2005, 06:47 PM
 
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wow, gee thanks crystal made my day! (damn I am easily pleased)
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#43 of 45 Old 07-31-2005, 09:42 AM
 
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So how's everyone?
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#44 of 45 Old 07-31-2005, 01:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Everyone is good over here! Still dating

How about yourself?

coffee-drinking caffix.gifsocial worker in HIV/AIDS ribbonred.giflady-loving ribbonrainbow.gifbike-riding bikenew.gifmom of two twins.gif
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#45 of 45 Old 08-01-2005, 10:17 PM
 
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I dressed ds in a pink-flowered sleeper when he was tiny, only because it was a nicely worn cotton and it looked super comfy.

DS looks amazing in pink and lavender, since his skin is a warm brown color. He also wants to wear makeup in the morning like his mommy, so I pretend to put the eye crap on him and then paint his lips with gloss. He says he feels "pretty." What difference will it make? He's very much a boy and there's not much I can do to change that! He also likes my studded pointy-toed goth girl heels.

btw, I dated a male for about a month but lost interest very, very quickly. Nobody interests me at the moment. Too much f'ing work and my son brings me far too much joy. Based on experience, dating a woman isn't all that different, though I wouldn't mind a little 'fun'
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