Any stay-at-home-moms out there? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-19-2005, 03:01 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi --

I'm A SAHM for a very active toddler. My partner is a professor and works a lot -- has a lot of international travel as part of her job, so is sometimes gone for weeks at a time. I've got a great mom's group that is really supportive, but all straight women. And we know some other lesbian couples with babies -- but all are couple with both women working full-time, mostly who have adopted, so their experiences are very different.

My daughter is 14 months old and I am still breastfeeding (not unusual to y'all, but it is to many of my friends and the general public). She has a lot of food allergies, including to dairy and soy, so I will be nursing her until she can tolerate dairy products or soy, which may be a few years.

Some people set out on a natural aprenting path -- I was redirected there by my baby. We bought a crib before our daughter was born, but it has never been used because for the first several months of her life she could only sleep if she was being held -- skin to skin contact with me. The cosleeping just seemed to work best for us, and so we've kept it up.

I'd love to find a part-time job that was interesting, would help my career and paid well, but no luck so far. (no big surprise there!!) I am trying to find ways to make being a SAHM work for me. And my partner.

I'd love to hear the experiences of other parents out there -- how are things working for you? How do you balance child care and household tasks? How do you find time and energy to maintain your romance (or what passes for romance)?

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#2 of 6 Old 09-26-2005, 09:08 PM
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I'm also a stay at home mom of an active 17 month old. . my partner is a financial consultant and I take care of a friend's little one who just turned one. I love being and sahm but it can be challenging when my partner comes home and is just as exhausted as i am we're in seattle awaiting the day when we can legally be recognized, and currently ttc baby two through my partners also qweer, brothers donation.

:2bfbabe: : GIZMO : Lil Princess :
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#3 of 6 Old 09-28-2005, 12:28 AM
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I'm a SAHLM to a 13 month old. It is really hard sometimes because my DP works full time and is also continuing her education, so she's in class 4 nights a week right now. I'm finding the most challenging thing to be fitting into the mom scene here in my ultra conservative area. I don't currently belong to any play groups or anything, in part because I'm so paranoid that I'll encounter someone who feels they need to do their "religious" duty by getting my child taken away. (You have that baby in bed with both you women? You're still breastfeeding that child? among other things) Anyway, it makes for a kind of lonely lifestyle, especially with DP gone so much right now.

Things have been a bit hectic around here because we're getting ready to move, but typically ds loves to "help" with any of the chores I'm doing. He plays in the garage while I do the laundry, or I give him pots/pans to play with in the kitchen if I'm working in there. I try to get my chores done while playing with him throughout the day, because I need the time during his naps to take a break and have "me" time. Things take a bit longer to get done, and if he needs more cuddles/nursies/storytime from me on any day then the chores just have to wait.

DP and I have us time after DS is down for the night and she's home from class. We talk, enjoy a glass of wine, play cards or a board game, just kind of catch up on each other. Our evenings are important, and when things get too crazy and we don't get that for awhile our relationship suffers a bit.

We also found ourselves on the AP path without quite knowing how we got there. Actually, many of the ideals we had, we didn't even realize there were names for! Everything just sort of fell into place as what felt natural, and it was through talking on more mainstream messageboards that I realized a lot of my ideas weren't shared by many people. I happened to stumble across this messageboard, and it was like a lightswitch went off in my head. :LOL

Me: married to my :fireman Mama to my littles: Toby 8/04 and Elina 10/08
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#4 of 6 Old 09-28-2005, 01:23 AM
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Another SAHM here, been at it for over a year now. I mostly love it, there are moments of course. My partner works nights as a nurse, which in some ways works wonderfully, and other ways makes it more difficult. Things work really well for the most part, my partner is very helpful around the house so not all the housework falls on me. My son is almost 2 now, so some things are better, he is more helpful, and other things are worse, he is always into everything and makes messes constantly. Luckily he likes to help clean up. I am pretty active in a couple of mom's groups, one AP, one mainstream. I am the only lesbian in the mainstream group and one of two or three in the AP group. For the most part they are friendly, though I always joke that I feel like an alien mom in either one of them for varying reasons.

We are still cosleeping and loving it, almost weaned our son as we are trying for another now, and AP in lots of other ways as well.

As for romance, things are not so great on that front. Bit of a bad patch in the relationship right now, though we are trying to work it all out. Overwhelmed with stuff right now and need to focus on each other more.
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#5 of 6 Old 09-28-2005, 08:53 AM
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Another sahm here. Been at it for 3 years. I took a year off when ds was born, then brought him to work with me for about a year before quitting when pg with dd. Partner travels a lot, but we talk everyday and try to pass the phone around the dinner table so everyone gets a chance to talk with her. And the kids will tell her soooo much more than they will tell me, so I can eavesdrop and get the scoop on school, etc.

Not much time to write, but glad to see others here.

Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

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#6 of 6 Old 09-30-2005, 12:47 AM
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Me, me, me!

I'm a new SAHM (just lost my part time job) and have a 3 yo DD. It's fun, but quite challenging. I'm still getting the hang of a routine for us. It's easiest when we spend part of the day out doing things --

I'll keep an eye on this thread. Great to "see" you out there.
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