Is it "okay" to be Bi?? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-30-2005, 04:39 PM
 
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I dont think it matters if you are married or not or if you are monogamous or not. I think being bi is so much more than that. As for the cheating part, that is something different between every couple. It's not cheating for me as long as I let him know before hand, if applicable, or right after.
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Old 11-19-2005, 10:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Konur's Mom
I dont think it matters if you are married or not or if you are monogamous or not. I think being bi is so much more than that.
:
bi is what you are, not what you do.

susan
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Old 11-19-2005, 11:17 PM
 
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I'm married to a woman and I consider myself bi not a lesbian. For me it's an internal identity thing.

And IMO "cheating" is breaking an agreement. So whether an action is cheating depends on the agreement you have with a current partner.
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Old 11-20-2005, 04:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max_4477
I'm married to a woman and I consider myself bi not a lesbian. For me it's an internal identity thing.

And IMO "cheating" is breaking an agreement. So whether an action is cheating depends on the agreement you have with a current partner.
:

Replace "married" with "unmarried", "woman" with "man" and "not a lesbian" with "not straight", and I could have written that.

I tried writing a bit on the question of "what's cheating?" and then thought "Wow, I really sound like a slut when I write it down like that. Stupid cultural baggage and impossible madonna/whore dichotomy!" so let me try putting it this way: my partner was the first person I ever kissed (leaving aside kindergarten), he's not the only person I've ever kissed or been sexually playful with, I'm bisexual, we're monogamous, I've never cheated on him, and I don't think any of those statements are contradictory.
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Old 11-21-2005, 02:13 AM
 
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Sexual orientation doesn't have anything to do with relationship type or status. I'm bi, in an open marriage, but haven't ventured outside my rel w/ DH in several years. Mostly because I was in a stage that was as much "nonsexual" as anything else, focused on the baby. With my libido waking up, I've still been too busy for "outside pursuits", as has DH. So I am monogamous and in a hetero relationship by default, not because that's what my relationship boundaries or orientation actually are.

I went through a period where I had to "come out" a second time as bi, because I came out as Lesbian when I was 16 then joined the Navy and noticed the readily available opposite sex. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know that how I identify myself is as much a sociopolitical statement as anything else.

If I hadn't gone so baby-crazy in my early 20's, and hadn't been in an environment where the male-to-female ratio was 10:1, I might never have really admitted to myself that "boys on the side" were possible relationship centerpieces.

And while I identify as bi, I don't think that shuts me off to attraction only to the 2 standard genders. I had a huge crush on a MTM transexual woman when I was 16 (right before I came out as a lesbian, lol).

One of these days, I hope to wade back into the dating pool. I've never been in a relationship with a woman, yet. Someday I hope that changes.

breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!

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