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Old 10-01-2005, 09:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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im not sure if this is the right place to post this, but i figured this was the most appropriate place bc im sure we face a lot of the same issues you all do. my dh is a crossdresser. he "dresses up" occassionally to go out at night- this only happens like once every 4-6 months now that we are parents lol! but he also dresses in semi drag almost every day- by that i mean he wears "feminine" cut shirts and jeans, but doesnt do the whole makeup get up thing. his style is actually very scrubby and thrift-story, with a lot of punk rock thrown in (he used to be a hard core diy anarchist punk BC, and is still all that stuff except more toned down. i would love it if he would wash his hair more often but that is another thread). since i am a natural style (no shaving, no makeup etc) type person, im glad that this is his style, because i am sure i would never have been attracted to him if he did the whole "glam" cross dresser thing. his cross dressing is very subtle. if that makes sense.

ANYWAY! i love him and we have a great relationship. he is a wonderful father. im just wondering if there is anyone else out there who is in a similar relationship.



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Old 10-02-2005, 01:27 AM
 
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I'm not in a similar relationship, but so glad that you are supportive of your dh expressing his true self! I wish all partners were as supportive.
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Old 10-02-2005, 04:27 PM
 
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My partner is transsexual, and FTM to boot, so my situation isn't really like yours. But, I wanted to say hello and send a big "You Rock!" your way. A lot of women would have a hard time supporting their partners like you do. But, when people find out about my situation I get a lot of, "I couldn't do it! How do you do it?", when the reality is you don't know until you've been there. I know this will sound corny, but when you really love someone, some of this stuff just isn't that big a deal (after you process it )

And, your dh sounds very stylin.
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Old 10-03-2005, 01:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tara
My partner is transsexual, and FTM to boot,.
Yay! My partner id's much more male than female. Our relationship seems so damn straight (at least when it somes to gender expression) Nice to see someone in a similar situation.
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Old 10-03-2005, 11:37 AM
 
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It's great to see others in this situation - it's been during my pregnancy that my "female" partner has really had her gender issues come to the forefront...something about impending parenthood and having everyone ask her "what will the baby call you?" (somehow knowing that she's not the "mommy" type...). So as well as dealing w/ pregnancy and the major challenges that has brought, as well as fearing/desiring the big changes parenting will bring, we've been dealing with the "will you have a sex change now" discussion.
DP is back and forth on desire to surgically change her sex to match her gender. Our GENDER roles are very traditional (butch/femme) and everyone seems to get that. But then the whole lesbian visibility thing has made the general public feel they can interlope on our relationship -- and you know that will only get worse w/ parenting (since everyone is full of advise when you're a parent).
PS - homemademomma - thanks for being brave enough to stay in your relationship, support your partner, and raise kids together - and to start this thread!
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Old 10-03-2005, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yay, thanks for the positive responses! i thought i would get some support here. i htink it was pretty easy for me to become okay with this because me and dh lived together and were great friends before we got involved, so we knew each other well. the first 2 times we went out together with him in full drag was kind of hard, but now i have to admit that i like it. he looks SO good in girl-style tank tops. i never thought i would fall in love with someone like him, but i did and now it seems like the most natural thing in the world. my mom knew about his crossdressing before we got together, and when i told her we had "moved in" ( ie he moved his stuff from his bedroom down the hall into mine) she freaked and said i was irresponsible, that she was dissapointed in me, that i was going to get HIV because he must be gay (wtf?!?!?!), etc etc. i couldnt believe she freaked like that. it really pissed me off. i t hink they were kind of stupefied when we got married/had ds. but they are supportive, if slightly distant with dh now.

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Old 10-03-2005, 02:34 PM
 
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Ugh, parents. Mine are actually fabulous, but my dingbat mother still messes up pronouns. Now that my partner would never be mistaken for a woman, my mom just looks senile. Heck, maybe she is.

And, hiya, seedgirl! I hear you on the 'straight' thing. That has been the single most difficult thing for me about my partner's transition - suddenly I'm invisible. We actually both feel really, really queer, but the world doesn't see us that way. Bleh.
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