Bi and married and pregnant, confused questions - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 12-17-2005, 03:01 AM - Thread Starter
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oh, wrong forum!
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#2 of 9 Old 12-17-2005, 11:37 AM
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I'm sorry you have found yourself in such a difficult place (((hugs)))

i once found myself in such a place...only married, pregnant, and gay. unfortunatly it's not anything that anyone can just hand you answers for.

there is a place though that might help. it is a support group for married lesbians and bi's. it is support oriented not picking up chicks oriented so it might be a good place for you to be able start sorting out your feelings with women who absolutly understand

good luck and many many (((hugs)))
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#3 of 9 Old 12-17-2005, 01:35 PM
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Hugs, I hear you. Bi and married, and definitely wanting to be with women. It's been over a year now and I miss it so much. I'm trying to get DH to come around with the idea of me having a gf, but so far, its a no go. The only thing that he's open to is a triad type of relationship, which are hard to come by as it is. I hope you can talk to him and he'll be open to considering your feelings on this one,

Unassisted birthing, atheist, WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids 17, 11, 6, 3
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#4 of 9 Old 12-17-2005, 03:19 PM
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Hugs, it sounds ilke you're having a hard time! I know what you mean about pregnancy increasing the frequency of erotic dreams about women, mine have been more graphic than at any other time in my life, and fairly frequent. I think that the hormones have something to do with it?

In any case, I'm sending supportive thoughts your way. Being bisexual and monogomas (spelling?) is a difficult path. I think it's important that you explain your feelings to your DH in a non-combative way so that he knows the difficulties and conflict you are feeling internally so that he doesn't feel he's doing something 'wrong'.

Thankfully, my DH is open to my having relationships with women, it's just finding one that's the hard part, what with a toddler and new baby on the way, and living rurally most of the time.

Take care!
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#5 of 9 Old 12-21-2005, 01:06 AM
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hi there
sounds like it is a strained place for you and your DH.

I just wonder if you really prefer to be with women - how come you ended up married?? I completely understand that life is easier in a marriage hetero relationship. I guess the question is not really about sex, but if you were to choose a primary relationship would it be with a man or a woman?

If the answer is a woman, and you don't want to leave your DH - what do you two need to do/work on, so that everyone is getting their needs met??? Couple counselling?

I don't have the answers, but I wish you the best........... take it easy on your self it's a difficult place to be......
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#6 of 9 Old 12-21-2005, 05:36 AM
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I understand where you're coming from.

In my experience, I was 22 and felt like getting married to a man and having kids was what I was "supposed" to do. I've always felt more comfortable with women - including sexually. However, being open and honest, as well as some couples counseling, could clear up any questions or ambiguous ideas about your relationship.

to you! This is a tough spot to be in, but keep breathing, take it one day at a time and be gentle on yourself.
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#7 of 9 Old 12-23-2005, 08:45 PM
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Wish I had some great words of wisdom for you.

I'm kind of the opposite from you. I've been with more men than women and as far as relationships go, I find relationships with men much easier. I found my fantasies in general more intense while pregnant and I truly think it is hormonal. When it came to having the opportunity to act upon them, I was not into it at all - it felt as if that was somehow unfair since I was growing a child created by dh and me.

Pregnancy is a crazy time. Hang in there, do your best to open up and be honest and loving with your dh. This is a very intense and special time for you as a family.
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#8 of 9 Old 12-27-2005, 12:20 PM
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I'm in exactly the same boat (I actually came onto this board hoping to get some advice), only that I'm not pregnant at the moment, and not married (but living in a long-term relationship with the father of my children).

It is really starting to get to me, and eat away at me, and I feel terribly unsettled and unhappy and... well, there's just something missing, and I feel as though I'm ignoring a huge part of who I really am. Not to mention that sex is getting more and more unbearable and infrequent, which isn't fair on him.

Feel free to PM or email me if you want. I'd like to talk more, but I'm not entirely comfortable doing so on a public forum. I'm not sure that there is an answer, but it certainly helps to talk about it.

((( HUGS )))
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#9 of 9 Old 01-04-2006, 12:38 PM
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I'm here and married and pregnant and cravin' a woman like you wouldn't believe!! It's an unbelievable craving that surpasses all food! Yet the time and effort it would take for me to actually find a woman is way beyond my capacity. Sooo, I just have to watch the L-Word that my dh so lovingly and understandingly downloads for me on the computer and live vicariously through that show!!
Hormones definately play a huge roll in how we feel sexually durring pregnancy but I think it is something deeper than that too. I think that we know in our hearts how nurturing female relationships are and when we are pregnant we seek or crave these relationships in our lives. In our heads and in our dreams it may be very sexual but in our hearts it's the closeness, the bonding, the understanding and the need to be nurtured by our female companion. I think even straight women experience this. They reach out more to moms and sisters and friends and even join forums to interact with other women for the primary desire of connection.
It's all so very primal and very normal. And very lovely.

chicken3.gifbelly.gifwow...i'm gonna have another one!!!
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