It felt like she proposed!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 01-16-2006, 10:21 PM - Thread Starter
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This weekend, DW invited us to have another baby. And when she looked me in the eyes and said it, it really felt like she was proposing! We never really had much to discuss about having our first. We knew we'd have kids (though that never really meant plural) after our first week of being together, I think. But after the first, it's never been certain whether we'll have another. We went back and forth together, and for the past year or so, it's been me wanting to and DW not sure. So now it's decided that we're going to do it. We still won't start trying until the summer, but it's like our whole household has changed. We keep talking about all the minute details of what it's going to be like and each time we talk about something little, I get excited all over again. I'm so excited I"m going to get to be pregnant again!

DW has mentioned that she would like to think about nursing this next one too. Does anyone here have experience with non-bio mom lactation. She doesn't want to do it if it involves a whole lot of drugs, but we both think it would be really amazing if she could do it.

Mostly just wanted to share. I"m sure she'll read this soon and add her own two cents!

Katie, DW to Megin, Mamma to Quinn (7y.o.) and Wylie, born 07-04-10
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#2 of 5 Old 01-16-2006, 10:56 PM
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How wonderful for you two! And good timing I think.
I birthed our first baby (who is now 17 months). My DP will birth our second. I have been reading a lot about induced lactation. Here's what I've gathered...

The protocol with the highest milk output is to take the birth control pill Yasmin without stopping (no placebo pills) and a digestive supplement called Domperidone (that you order on-line from Canada) for 3 months (or more if more milk is desired - 6 months for a closer to full supply of milk). This builds up the breast tissue and makes the body think it's a little bit pregnant. As far as taking the Yasmin, it is 3mg of progesterone per day. In comparison, women take progesterone suppositories/pills while TTC are usually at a dose of 150mg... so the Yasmin is not "pumping you full" of hormones at just 3mg. Regular birth control pills have 1mg so you want to go for the Yasmin.
6-8 weeks before baby is born, you stop the Yasmin. You keep taking the domperidone and add other herbals such as milk thistle and fenugreek. And you pump at intervals throughout the day. This protocol is said to bring in 50% to 75% of baby's milk needs.

If you as the birthing parent plan on BF... it would be a waste for her to induce that much milk. Because if baby was getting that much from her, then your supply would diminish. So there are less agressive protocols.. which are a lot easier! For example, she could do just the domperidone and herbs and not even bother pumping... but put baby to her breast often for comfort sucking and also supplemental feeding with a Lact-Aid. Adoptive moms with no prior notice of getting a baby have been able to induce a 25% milk supply in this way, with no prior pumping and no hormones. The domperidone and herbs are essential, though.

A great, easy, low-committment first step would be to look at her using your expressed breast milk in a "supplemental nursing system" or "lactation aid". Simpler than it sounds. Basically she would put baby to breast and a tiny tiny tube taped to her nipple would supply breastmilk from a little expressed container. The baby's frequent sucking would induce her breasts to produce some milk (especially if she takes domperidone and herbs). There are some videos of moms using a "lactation aid" on the net. The Lact-Aid brand is about $45.

Even if she doesn't do anything to induce lactation, she could breastfeed baby using the lactation aid and your expressed milk. The little plastic tube is so tiny that she could BF in public and folks not have any idea she was using it. Baby need never have a bottle.

Sorry so , I have was researching this all week!

P.S. if you do a google with the words "adoptive breastfeeding" you will hit support sites and message boards, etc!
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#3 of 5 Old 01-16-2006, 11:50 PM
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Yay Katie! I'm excited for you both to start thinking about expanding your family more. We're still working on #1, our first insem was supposed to be tonight, but it didn't work out. So, now we're hoping to be able to do it in the morning and catch the eggie before it's frustrating.

Anyway, my wife will be carrying and she's planning to BF. I thought about inducing lactation but I don't think I will since I want to carry #2 and have messed up cycles already. BF would probably make it that much harder. So, I'm most interested in the lact-aid and will check into it more once we get pg.

I do know that lots of lesbian couples do it sucessfully though, so best of luck to you!

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#4 of 5 Old 01-17-2006, 05:26 AM
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Hello, all!
Our DS is 9 weeks and DW wanted from the beginning to be able to nurse (I am bio-mom). Due to some meds she is on though it is a really bad idea, so we went with the Lact-Aid - it works like a charm! She loves it because it allows her to nurse Keagan, and he loves it because he can nurse on twice as many breasts
As for the non-nutritive suckling that was alluded to by a PP, we tried that and it just pissed Keagan off royally after my milk had been in for a few days. I think it scared him to be attached to the breast but not able to get anything - probably scary to think that it was gone!!! My midwife did say that she knows of children this has worked for, mine is just not one of those. At any rate, I also highly recommend the Lact-Aid system. Google it and it should come right up - most likely you would only need their basic system. Also, the lady who answers the phone when you call is sooooo sweet!!! We called two or three times the first time we tried "loading" it - she patiently walked us through it and at the end of the call each time said to call again if we were still having problems
Good luck!

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#5 of 5 Old 01-30-2006, 03:34 AM
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I actually do non-nutritive nursing for my girlfriend's baby, who is about a week old now. She likes to suck alot and will take a pacifier, but if I'm around, she gets the breast. I have nursed before and it seems like when I have her at my breast alot, I start to feel tingling at the top of my breasts. Crazy!

It's a sweet feeling to know that she gets another breast rather than a pacifier at times. Though I don't know if she cares much - she just wants to suck!
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