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#61 of 117 Old 05-18-2003, 02:08 PM
 
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I never share my personal info with just anyone, so I assume you mean when you are telling friends. When I told my friends they were all pretty cool with it. One friend said it was easier to accept me being bi than me CDing. :LOL I have never had a weird/negative reaction. But I guess if they freak and reject you for this one thing, they were never really a true friend to begin with. KWIM? Wish I had more to offer on that one.

For online meeting groups (not hook ups) I searched and searched and searched through Yahoo for a group. I have just recently found one that is not all about hooking up. It is a group in NH that is for bi woman (single, married -most of the group is-, whatever) to hang out and chat. I have been talking through the e-group with the ladies (first in person meeting is next friday) and it is nice to have someone who is like you and just understands. Ya know?
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#62 of 117 Old 05-18-2003, 02:33 PM
 
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it is nice to have someone who is like you and just understands. Ya know?

Exactly!!! I've been checking around but mostly what I have found is people looking to hook up. that is not where I am right now. I'm just trying to sort it all out. LOL. And most of the sites don't have much for commited married bisexuals. :

regarding friends: LOL easier to accept than cloth diapering now that is funny.
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#63 of 117 Old 05-19-2003, 12:30 PM
 
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.
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#64 of 117 Old 05-20-2003, 01:20 AM
 
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Ok, my header sounded dumb. : )

Im married to a woman but occasionally need to hook up with a man, just for fun. We have always in our 8 plus years had an open relationship.

I dont identify as "bi", I usually joke that Im part gay. I dunno, it just sounds lighter to me.

My wife passes a lot, just until people get about 2 feet away and realize that we really ARE this dyke couple with three kids. Its so interesting, and infuriating, to be out with a man and some number of my kids and get so much love from people that treat my wife and I with such snootiness and ignorance. Sigh... even here in he Bay Area...
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#65 of 117 Old 05-20-2003, 01:33 AM
 
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thanks ceramae :-)

And Welcome to MDC seedgirl!!
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#66 of 117 Old 05-20-2003, 03:27 AM
 
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Quote:
I felt "allsexual" because for me it was the person I was attracted to and not their image.
Okay, for some reason, this brought tears to my eyes. Maybe because for me it is so true. I have had a hard time (and still do) iding myself. I feel like a phony saying I'm bisexual and I feel like a phony saying I'm hetero. I'm confused as to what to call myself but I know how I feel. It's funny how words can get in the way of true meaning.

I also found it interesting that many here say that they think that everyone is bi on some level. I've always felt that way but I never have expressed that especially to my outspoken "hetero" friends as in those that say (I LOVE men! or I am NOT gay!!)

I've always been attracted to both the female form and the male physique. The attraction is very different though. It sends a different kind of surge throughout my body but both are sexual. I've never had the chance to speak to anyone about my sexuality. It's hard to explain to those who refuse to recognize it.

Congrats to you Arduinna for coming out!! And it's wonderful that your dh is being so supportive!!

Kylix
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#67 of 117 Old 05-20-2003, 05:48 PM
 
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edited, as it contained geographical info.... unwise to post.

I just happen to like apples, and I am not afraid of snakes. ~Ani d.
These dolls and toys confuse me so; Confound it all, I love it, though!~J. Skellington
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#68 of 117 Old 05-21-2003, 06:29 PM
 
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Thanks Kylix and Sarah!!

yes, the piercing is healing great!!

anyone else notice once you open the door whoa, all of a sudden a flood of feelings come out. It's been a pretty intense time here.
But I'm feeling and doing good. Even if I do tend feel nuts with the wild back and forth emotions. As a result I haven't been posting much on the boards.
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#69 of 117 Old 06-02-2003, 09:24 PM
 
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Hey, another "bi with guy" and I am SO happy to find you all! I am a university instructor and a scholar and my work is with queer theory and transgender activism. When I got pregnant a colleague who did not know that I identify as bi asked me how all the queer people I work with feel about having a "breeder" around. I am very bummed. Having a baby seemed to signal something very straight about my relationship that I am not totally comfortable with.

So, I am very happy to have found other bi mommas!


Megan Davidson, Labor & Postpartum Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, Anthropologist, Mom to August (9) and Clay (4), Partner to Shawn.

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#70 of 117 Old 06-03-2003, 11:12 AM
 
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Hey, megan! Welcome! I can really relate to what you write - I am kind of femmey and have often passed as a straight woman until I open my mouth. But having a baby just makes me feel invisible everywhere, especially since my partner is male. The straight folks think I'm the hippest straight chick around and the queer folks either think I'm an ally or an interloper. Luckily, I have lots of queer friends for me to feel queer with!

ps: I'm digging your area of study - what kind of work do you do around trannie activism (my partner is FTM)?
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#71 of 117 Old 06-03-2003, 11:20 AM
 
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I totally agree, since having my ds, I feel like I can fade into the background too. But I am forturnate to have other queer mommas as friends to keep me from feeling totally detatched from the local queer community. Not to mention this board, LOL.

My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
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#72 of 117 Old 06-03-2003, 12:12 PM
 
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yay for this thread!

I am realizing as I read y'alls posts that I think about my sexuality alot, and am actually finding myself in a very questioning place about it.

I am bi (no questions there) and have been in a mono relationship w/ my dh for 2 years now. we had a baby together 2 1/2 mo. ago.

when we started seeing one another, I wanted to keep it open, and though he said he did, he really was much more conflicted about it. long painful story short, he "cheated" with another woman (who interestingly enough was gay, and had no other male experiences) about 2 mo. into the relationship. I say cheated b/c he got together with her during a conflict we were having when we were not speaking for a few days, and then lied about the extent of the interaction to me later which I abosolutely felt was NOT ok, and definitely not open.

we reconciled and with much therapy I healed enough to trust him again.

he is also bi, and we have at various times discussed opening the relationship up again. though I trust him in our mono relationship, I can't help feeling unsure how we would safely navigate another person (take them to therapy with us, to make sure communication is clear??) and now there is our baby to consider. we are interested in both women and men.

how do you other mamas navigate exploring their bisexuality while in a relationship and/or while mama-ing?

ok, am sorry if I've hijaked the thread.... there is more to my story, but I think I will stop there.

-Lau
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#73 of 117 Old 06-03-2003, 12:20 PM
 
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Lau - if you wanna chatter let me know. I am a poly queer momma with a hubby (he's bi too) and gf. I am more than happy to share what I have observed and dealt with in my life.

My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
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#74 of 117 Old 06-04-2003, 09:54 PM
 
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Birthinglau, I can really relate to those issues, too© I would also be interested in hearing/talking about the things you brought up© If hijacking is the worry, maybe we could use a thread separate from the basic 'roll call', rather than going off-board? Just a thought©©©
alsoSarah

I just happen to like apples, and I am not afraid of snakes. ~Ani d.
These dolls and toys confuse me so; Confound it all, I love it, though!~J. Skellington
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#75 of 117 Old 06-04-2003, 10:13 PM
 
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I can relate as well. Maybe a new thread is in order?
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#76 of 117 Old 06-04-2003, 10:20 PM
 
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I'd be interested in talking about this more too. In another thread if that is appropriate.
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#77 of 117 Old 06-04-2003, 10:23 PM
 
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What shall we call the thread?

My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
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#78 of 117 Old 06-04-2003, 10:30 PM
 
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that was my problem, I would have started one, but couldn't think of a title. LOLOLOL
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#79 of 117 Old 06-04-2003, 11:20 PM
 
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indigo, alsosarah, nicke, arduinna, and anymama else...

ok, this is not the most bestest thread name, but it covers everything:

mamas exploring bisexuality while in relationship(s)

our new thread, so we don't have to keep hijacking this one.

I would link to it, but I don't know how, and am feeling too lazy to figure out.

thanks for the support, looking forward to continuing the discussion in there.

-Lau
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#80 of 117 Old 06-04-2003, 11:24 PM
 
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Thanks Lau
The thread is here.
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#81 of 117 Old 06-06-2003, 05:29 PM
 
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I am bi and married to my dh who is totally understanding. I choose not to persue my "other" side while married b/c it would just cause complications for me emotionally. Luckily I havent felt desparate to do so. I have spoken to dh about the possibilty of things happening and he is pretty open-minded about it.
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#82 of 117 Old 06-19-2003, 12:29 AM
 
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Arduinna...congrats on coming out. I'm struggling with all the emotions myself. Admitted to myself a year or so ago I'm bi, then came out to my husband 6 months ago. I love my life and my husband and I am trying to be honest with folks about who I am but I feel like I'm doing this bass ackwards...getting married, having kids THEN realizing I'm attracted to women, too! THe last year has been a jumble of emotions...sometimes bordering on being a pubescent teenager but I'm understanding ME much more now. And I have to honestly say, my therapist is a big help!

As for books...I've read Married WOmen Who Love WOmen and Lesbian Epiphanies and found both kind of depressing because they involved stories of women who came out in mid-life who usually ended up leaving their husbands. Not an option I wanted. BUt I recently picked up Bi Any Other Name...edited by Lorraine Hutchins and someone else I can't remember...and it was way more enlightening and fulfilling to read than the other two books...it was more about me and how I defined myself.

I don't get to MDC very often but anyone should feel free to PM me to chat!
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#83 of 117 Old 06-21-2003, 11:17 PM
 
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I was going to explore with a friend in hs ..but her little brother woke up and killed it
this post is the first time I have gone any public of any kind so I guess I have officially outed myself..
dh knew I had "leanings" when he married me.
We just recently learned about polyamoury
However I doubt I will find anothe woman willing to have a middle age often ill cranky woman in a triad or quad...

In the meantime I just shake nervously when I imagine what might happen if it ever did happen kwim??
and I live vicariously through this board
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#84 of 117 Old 06-22-2003, 12:34 AM
 
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Congratulations on your "outing" CerridwenLorelei!

I think we all are a little nervous at the thought of being with our first woman, or being in out first triad/quad or whatever the case may be. It is different. Not an every day thing, kwim? But I must admit it is exciting!
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#85 of 117 Old 06-22-2003, 01:18 AM
 
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thanks
I was very scared to do this but did it

Exciting ? Maybe more if I thought there would ever really be a chance lol
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#86 of 117 Old 06-23-2003, 03:11 AM
 
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hello,

i am new here.

i am bisexual, going through a divorce from my dh.
i think that the human body is beautiful , why limit yourself when you feel otherwise kwim?

Jenny ing HippieMomma. 3rd podling due sometime in July
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#87 of 117 Old 06-24-2003, 11:52 PM
 
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I've had two experiences with a woman and have since considered myself bi not only b/c of the experiences but b/c since I've been attracted to women. I have not came out to my family but my fiance is well aware. My experiences were with a woman he and I both knew only months before he and I got together. He is straight but is completely open to my bisexulity. Yet sometimes I think thats only b/c he hopes to have a threesome someday.
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#88 of 117 Old 07-04-2003, 01:03 AM
 
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Hi all.

I am a new member here, but I am a proud BI mommy.
I 'lean' more towards women, but am married to a man. lol
well..just wanted to say "HI"
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#89 of 117 Old 07-04-2003, 02:36 AM
 
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Hi Jenn

Thanks for sharing with us and welcome to the boards!
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#90 of 117 Old 07-04-2003, 02:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nicke
Hi Jenn

Thanks for sharing with us and welcome to the boards!
Thanks so much.
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