bi mama roll call! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 117 Old 04-03-2003, 01:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It's been a while since we've done this, and we have lots of new members.



So I'll start. I am a proud bi mama!
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#2 of 117 Old 04-03-2003, 04:16 AM
 
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Bi here as well. I'm married to another woman.

Sierra

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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#3 of 117 Old 04-03-2003, 12:10 PM
 
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Bi here, too. Though I prefer to just identify as 'queer'. I'm married to a transgendered man - he transitioned a few years into our relationship. We've been together for 9 years, married for 5 and we have one gorgeous toddler!
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#4 of 117 Old 04-07-2003, 03:53 PM
 
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I'm one too!

I'm married, and dh and I are poly.

breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!

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#5 of 117 Old 04-07-2003, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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oh come on! When we did this a year ago or so, we had tons of replies. Where are all the bi mamas???

Come out come out, wherever you are....
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#6 of 117 Old 04-07-2003, 08:56 PM
 
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Hello

I'm bi, married to Michael for 5 years, with a sweet little 2.5 year old boy. I have recently started outing myself in my new small town community. Its kind of strange "coming out" all over again- I thought I was done with that a long time ago.

-jeanie
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#7 of 117 Old 04-07-2003, 09:56 PM
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I'm bi....though not a mama yet. Married to dh for two years. Was actually looking for a woman to date when he found me....funny the way life works out sometimes!

winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg

 

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#8 of 117 Old 04-08-2003, 07:23 AM
 
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I'm Bi as well! And depending on how you look at it, will be a mommy in a few months, or am a mommy now (hey I'm still mothering this kiddo just a little... differently... as it grows! ) I've been married for a year and a half, and with my Dh for almost 4 years now total...

I'm not sure what to call us because we aren't quite poly (as in we don't actually have/are open to having full fledged romantic relationships with others... ok more like my Dh isn't... I'd LOVE to be part of a triad!!) but the term 'swinging' just doesn't explain us either (sounds too casual and party orintated to describe us)... We ah, are intimate with some very close, very loved friends... so whatever that is...

Ok sorry if that made totally no sence... I'm typing at 3:30am cuz I can't sleep and I'm stained from head to toe from tie dying oh 30+ diapers and assorted other goodies (yes, I have advice here, do NOT tie dye naked. bad bad idea... :LOL).

Glad to join the role call!

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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#9 of 117 Old 04-08-2003, 01:07 PM
 
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I am bi too. DH and I are poly.

Lisa, I like the way you describe it "we are intimate with some very close, very loved friends".
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#10 of 117 Old 04-08-2003, 01:11 PM
 
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Sounds poly to me. I'm in a long-distance intimate friendship with a couple--over spring break we went on a road trip, me, them, their three kids and two dogs, lol. The intimate part never fully kicked in, because the one night we got 2 hotel rooms, I had a nasty cold I'd caught from their 2yo!

We might get into a triad or something sometime in the future, but with the baby on the way and other upheavals in our lives, we're pretty focused on just us for right now, but that doesn't make us mono, kwim?

breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!

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#11 of 117 Old 04-08-2003, 01:35 PM
 
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I am bi too, married 4.5 years, with DH for 9 years, and have a 9 mo old DS. I haven't been with a woman since before I met DH, not sure how I or he would feel about the poly thing.
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#12 of 117 Old 04-11-2003, 03:42 PM
 
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Being Bi and being Poly ARE two separate issues. So no worries.

breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!

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#13 of 117 Old 04-11-2003, 07:36 PM
 
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I just got this list info emailed to me and signed up, and this is the first thing i see
I'm bi, engaged to my bi same sex partner, and mom to 2 year old. also poly, but that's another thing entirely.
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#14 of 117 Old 04-11-2003, 11:14 PM
 
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another "bi with a guy" here. been married to dh for going on 8 years (together for 12), but have also been intimate off and on with one very close friend (she's also bi and married to a guy, and a mama). she's prolly the only woman i'll ever be with again, and we'll prolly do it once every few years. it works out really nicely and both our dh's feel good about it (they are not interested in taking part in our action or having any of their own ouside of the marriages).

i love how different we all are and how diverse our situations. i was totally out at my last job, and try to be out to all my friends and just in general, but usually it doens't come up (folks tend to make a lot of assumptions when you're a mama with a wedding ring...)

nice to see y'all here...
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#15 of 117 Old 04-11-2003, 11:31 PM
 
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You can find me on Facebook. PM for info.
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#16 of 117 Old 04-11-2003, 11:52 PM
 
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Not a mama yet, nor am I in any relationship at the present...but bisexual nonetheless...

I haven't come out to anyone yet..Don't think I ever will to some...Sad to say :

Kylix
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#17 of 117 Old 04-12-2003, 12:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by bunny's mama
i was totally out at my last job, and try to be out to all my friends and just in general, but usually it doens't come up (folks tend to make a lot of assumptions when you're a mama with a wedding ring...)
Aint that the truth? I feel invisible sometimes. It's a pain in the a$$ to come out as the bi partner of a trannie. Much easier to just say, "my partner... she" in conversation and out yourself as a lesbian (I'm not saying coming out as a lesbian is easy, but having done it for years, I prefer it to my current routine!). Everyone I am close to knows, but I have this circle of mama acquaintances (through play groups and whatnot) that don't know. I'm not ashamed and I don't hide it, but it's just not a simple thing to share...
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#18 of 117 Old 04-12-2003, 06:59 PM
 
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by tara
I'm married to a transgendered man - he transitioned a few years into our relationship.

tara, forgive my confusion, does this mean that your partner is now a man or a woman?

i am mostly not out to the other mamas in my playgorups, unless the topic comes up. the other day i was with one of them and her dd and we were talking about how we have acted silly in front of people we have had crushes on, and i was telling her about how i just used to lose any kind of intelligent conversation around this woman i used to work with. and she said "oh, are you bi or something?" and i said "yes" and she said, "don't worry, i won't tell anyone" and i said "oh, that's okay. you can tell whomever you want. i'm fine with everyoen knowing." and that was that. no biggee. so that's how folks generally find out, just thru casual conversation, and i guess, getting to know me better.

it is a constant thing with being bi, i think, that people make all kinds of assumptions about us being straight if we are partnered with a man, or being a lesbian if we are partnered with a woman. i fully acknowledge that those of us who are partnered with men carry a lot of privilege (perhaps part of the reason why many in the gay community reject us) because we can "hide" it if we need/want to, and they can't. but at the same time, it is very upsetting sometimes to really want to be a part of the GLB community and not feel welcomed and/or like i belong (i used to go to pride weekend in SF with my female friend {the one i mentioned in my earlier post} because both of us wanted so badly to have that feeling of being a part of the GLB community, even if it was just for a weekend, or even just for the parade.)
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#19 of 117 Old 04-13-2003, 12:11 PM
 
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Hey, bunny's mama. I am totally open to questions. Don't mind at all. Transgendered man means my partner is now male but started out in a female body.

And, I totally hear you on the privilege thing. And the wanting to belong in the queer community thing. I've been going to a queer family playgroup for a few weeks now and everyone there assumes my partner is female (as they should, I suppose) and every single time it comes up I have another exhausting coming out moment. Sometimes I wish I had a card I could flash. You know, my queer card, with all the punches on the back for every Pride march I've attended, every girlfriend I've had. Truth is, my relationship is 'queerer' than most! But, I also have lots of privilege since I pass everywhere I go. The first time my partner and I were affectionate in public after he transitioned and got sweet smiles from an elderly woman, it totally threw me. We were always affectionate, even as lesbians, and just got used to not getting approving smiles from most people. And here a little testosterone makes the difference? Outrageous. Wanna know something more outrageous? Now we are legally married. Same damn people. But now we can marry. Ugh.

Didn't plan on hopping on that soapbox.
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#20 of 117 Old 04-13-2003, 09:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tara
We were always affectionate, even as lesbians, and just got used to not getting approving smiles from most people. And here a little testosterone makes the difference? Outrageous. Wanna know something more outrageous? Now we are legally married. Same damn people. But now we can marry. Ugh.
:
So many things I want to say but just can't put into words. People can be so ignorant and hypocritical.
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#21 of 117 Old 04-14-2003, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Toby Adams-I remember how pleased I was to find the queer parenting forum the first day I came here.

I'm bi with a guy too, and while I'd love to join a queer family group, I'm afraid that I wouldn't be really accepted, and that maybe my presence would really annoy people.
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#22 of 117 Old 04-14-2003, 05:06 PM
 
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I had the same though amy mama. I would love to go to a rally or group event, but I feel like I might be shunned because I am "only" bi and have a man in my life.
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#23 of 117 Old 04-14-2003, 06:14 PM
 
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#24 of 117 Old 04-14-2003, 07:41 PM
 
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alsoSarah--I LOVE your sig line...it motivated me to change mine to another fav Ani quote of mine

Kylix
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#25 of 117 Old 04-15-2003, 01:51 PM
 
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Thanks, Kylix!

It's always really cool to find another Ani listener out there...

Since we're veering just a bit OT-- is Kylix your name IRL? If not, may I ask where it's from? If so, how'd you get such luck in the name lottery?

peace,
alsoSarah

I just happen to like apples, and I am not afraid of snakes. ~Ani d.
These dolls and toys confuse me so; Confound it all, I love it, though!~J. Skellington
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#26 of 117 Old 04-15-2003, 07:27 PM
 
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Kylix is not my real name IRL...it's a type of classical ceramic cup, I believe...they're really gorgeous...you can do a search online and get picks of them...

I also chose this name because it's the name my sister said she'd name her son if she ever had a boy. It's pretty cool, eh?

I'm not comfy using my real name online just yet....

"Kylix"
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#27 of 117 Old 04-18-2003, 11:11 AM
 
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I just happen to like apples, and I am not afraid of snakes. ~Ani d.
These dolls and toys confuse me so; Confound it all, I love it, though!~J. Skellington
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#28 of 117 Old 04-19-2003, 02:13 AM
 
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i'm on the flip side of some of the folks here.. already a mom but not bi yet

it's my hope at some point to find (outside of a bar) an average-jo kinda person for those experiences

but i'm sure the h not going to ask at the local mother's group

"little dottie cut her tooth at nine months and by the way you're so cute are you bi?"


women have told me they can "just tell" who's bi -- is there some sort of membership tattoo or something?
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#29 of 117 Old 04-19-2003, 04:21 AM
 
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Aren't they though, Roxanne?

As for the membership tattoo...I can't tell myself...

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#30 of 117 Old 04-19-2003, 12:25 PM
 
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Terri,
I was "backwards" too. I was a mom before I was with another woman (physical and in a relationship). I knew I was attracted to women long before, but I did not get a chance to act on it until after I was a mamma.
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