I'm a bi woman married to a bi man. It helps balance in some ways, but in reality he will never be a woman so the types of feelings a woman brings are not fair to ask of him, just like I can never be a man for him. I don't think that any one person can meet all of my (or anyone else's) emotional and physical needs. We do our best and we got a lot of love, so it's alright with me.
As for coming out...if it's safe for you to do so, it's the best thing you can do.. Just be patient and kind with yourself.