Titles for more than one mom or dad? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 25 Old 12-03-2006, 11:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm curious what you all use for your kids to call their second mom or second dad. We're looking for some creative ideas. Thanks!

Mom to ds 10/12 and dd 2/05 ribbonrainbow.gif

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#2 of 25 Old 12-04-2006, 05:33 AM
 
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not creative at all, mama and mommy. I am sure mommy will get shortened to mom at some point. I like that it's universally recognized by anyone if he calls either of us, and it's especially fun when he uses both in the same sentence in public, keep em guessing!

Honestly, I am of the belief that both names should be recognized easily as names of parents. Like Dad and Papa, Mom and Mommy, Mama and Mom, you get the idea. Why? Because when it's a more obsure thing, others get confused and might not acknowledge the parent with the less obvious name as a parent to the child. For example, in my friends neighborhood, Ema is recognized, but not where I live. So here I think it would confuse people, and the parent might not be recognized easily as a parent. So when someone asks my son about his mom and mama, he understands, and so do they, they recognze that person as a parent.
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#3 of 25 Old 12-04-2006, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, that's somthing I really hadn't thought about with others not recognizing the name.

Our situation is a little different from two partners raising a child though. If the woman we are interested in ends up moving in with us with her daughter, it would be our daughter, living with her bio mom and dad and another mother, and her daughter living with her bio mother and my husband and I, and her father being int he picture, but not living with him primarily. So we'd like a title of honor, but one that still distinguishes the bio parents, the other daughter especially, we wouldn't want to take away his title of daddy. We thought about looking into names from other countries and such.
Melody

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#4 of 25 Old 12-05-2006, 11:30 PM
 
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Like JoAnne & Mary, we are Mommy and Mama (both Mother and Mom). Many gay men I know do Daddy and Papa.

I know a number of Jewish women who do mom and Ima (mother in Hebrew - father would be Aba). I don't know any other languages, so can't help there.

I wonder of step-parenting would provide a guide for appropriate titles? I'm no help there, either... both of my parents remarried after I was an adult, so I just use first names, which is most comfortable for all.

Good luck!
- Cyndi
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#5 of 25 Old 12-06-2006, 02:53 AM
 
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Mama & Ima here!
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#6 of 25 Old 12-07-2006, 01:22 PM
 
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We are called Mama and Mommy.. DS who just turned two last week seems to call us both mama right now. But sometimes he'll say mommy..

FT mom, FT wife & FT employee.. DS - 11-2004 and second DC due 7-2010
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#7 of 25 Old 12-07-2006, 03:56 PM
 
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I suspect we'll be EA (AY-uh) and Mama.
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#8 of 25 Old 12-11-2006, 02:03 PM
 
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Hmmm.... one poly family I know with one dad and two moms, the non-bio mom gets called "Nonny". When my ds first started speaking, he called my girlfriend "NuhNuh". Later he called a boyfriend "Deedah". He made these up himself, but he was also really young at the time. He had thought them out though because they have nothing to do with the people's names and were instead variations on "Mama" and "Daddy".

Another thing I've heard is "Mama" or "Papa" followed by the person's name. Hence, "MamaRhi". It drives my DP crazy when my own kids call me this, but it's an option for any child with another bio mom who's in my life in that way. (I let my kids call me this though.)

When my aunt and her female partner were starting to have kids they tried to se the English and Chinese versions of Mama, but they were too close sounding. I've never heard their kids call either of them anything but "Mom" or "my other Mom".

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#9 of 25 Old 12-14-2006, 04:20 PM
 
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I love in "The L word" they use Momma "B" (Bette) and Momma "T"(Tina).

Christine. Unschooling mom to Hollis, Zobey, Zeda, Anna, and Wednesday. We have a lot invested in this whole family thing with marriage kids and a mortgage. You don't just give up on the whole deal when it gets difficult.
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#10 of 25 Old 12-14-2006, 04:23 PM
 
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DD is 16 mos & has just started calling me (bio mom) "Mama" & dp "Mommy".

Proud WOHM veggie mom to Alina 7/29/05 & partner, Jackie, since 2001, m/c 1/2009
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#11 of 25 Old 12-14-2006, 05:26 PM
 
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We had planned on doing Mommy and Mama, but our son had a different idea and did the mommy L and mommy J thing.
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#12 of 25 Old 12-15-2006, 09:49 AM
 
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To our 3 kids we're both Mum. If they want to talk to one of us in particular they use our first names. To both of us at once its "hey Mums"
We had concerns that when one name is more socialy acceptable as a parents title than the other's title it can create a hierachy were one mother is seen as the 'real' mother or the more valid mother.
Although these days we both have had a turn at birthing when we first became parents we were concerned about the biases my partner would face.. folks seeing her as a "non-bio mum" or "honourary mum" instead of seeing her as just a mum, no different to me. So we do not differrentiate, not on official forms (where we write "Mother" over the printed "Father"), and such like. Plus we always introduce ourselves/describe ourselves as the kids' mothers.
Its not like we consiously suggested what our kids would call us, it evolved that way I guess and we didn't direct any new names..
Although this hasn't happened in years I do not like folks who have only just met us asking who birthed, as if they are trying to find a way out of viewing us both as equal mothers.
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#13 of 25 Old 12-23-2006, 03:19 AM
 
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For right now I am mommy and DW is mama but DS is only 13 months, so who knows what he will call us when he starts talking

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#14 of 25 Old 12-23-2006, 11:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by etsba View Post
We had concerns that when one name is more socialy acceptable as a parents title than the other's title it can create a hierachy were one mother is seen as the 'real' mother or the more valid mother.
Although these days we both have had a turn at birthing when we first became parents we were concerned about the biases my partner would face.. folks seeing her as a "non-bio mum" or "honourary mum" instead of seeing her as just a mum, no different to me. So we do not differrentiate, not on official forms (where we write "Mother" over the printed "Father"), and such like. Plus we always introduce ourselves/describe ourselves as the kids' mothers.
Its not like we consiously suggested what our kids would call us, it evolved that way I guess and we didn't direct any new names..
Although this hasn't happened in years I do not like folks who have only just met us asking who birthed, as if they are trying to find a way out of viewing us both as equal mothers.
I could have written this word for word. This is exactly how we feel also!

-Rachel

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#15 of 25 Old 01-07-2007, 02:03 AM
 
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Our daughter calls me mum, mama, mummy, mother (the latest) and my partner by her first name or dad which was her idea. OUr niece who lived with us together when she was a young adult also calls dp dad and calls me by my firstname - knickname which is what I use as my MDC name.
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#16 of 25 Old 01-07-2007, 02:07 AM
 
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We plan to be mommy and mama. DW, who will be the non-bio parent, will be called mommy. I like the idea of DW being mommy, especially since she is not the birth mother. Well, that is what I tell her. I really just like the idea of being called mama.

Then again, that is simply our pre-children plan. Our future kids may very well have their own ideas about what they would like to call us and we will probably go with it.
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#17 of 25 Old 01-25-2007, 09:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well our daughter seem to be solving the question themselves. My daughter calls me Mama and her Mommy, hers so far is using them interchangeably. We refer to ourselves as Mommy M____ and Mama A_____ some too but the kids are only 2 so can't pronounce too much yet.

Her DD hasn't called my husband anything yet really, we'll see what she comes up with.

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#18 of 25 Old 01-31-2007, 11:57 PM
 
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I am Mommy and my DP is Mama. Our 2 year old definitely distinguishes between us. Our 1 year old is starting to use the word Mommy, but hasn't really figured out the distinction. We also have a 4 week old who, well, isn't talking.

I absolutely FORBID them to EVER for ANY reason call us by our first names or Mommy A and Mommy B. When they are older, I guess we will be Mom and Mama? Or just Mom?

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#19 of 25 Old 03-11-2007, 06:09 PM
 
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My older kids call our partner Kristy, mainly because she moved in with us when they were 4 and older. My youngest calls me Mumma, and he calls DP Mumma Kristy.
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#20 of 25 Old 03-11-2007, 10:03 PM
 
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dad is just dad, as there is only one...

the mom names go from ama, mom, mommy, our given names, etc...we answer to all of them...we are a blended family, having had children before we got together, then had a child when we got together...and we never insisted that the children call us a certain name...whatever they are comfortable with...

in public, or when they are asked, its mom and dad...and they are proud to state that they have 2 moms and 1 dad...

peace...

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#21 of 25 Old 03-13-2007, 10:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by etsba View Post
We had concerns that when one name is more socialy acceptable as a parents title than the other's title it can create a hierachy were one mother is seen as the 'real' mother or the more valid mother.
Ditto!
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#22 of 25 Old 03-13-2007, 12:21 PM
 
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We use "Mama (first name)" and "Mama (first name)". Our daughter just says, "Mama" or "Mom" if she's with one of us; to other children, she refers to her "Moms" or "Mommies"; she made up her own versions of our first names that she uses if she wants to specify one of us; and sometimes if she wants both of our attention, she says "Mamma (my first name)(partner's first name)" all run together!

It was important to us that we both be identified as her mother, but also that she knows we have first names and are people too. There was a huge thread on MDC a while back about kids calling parents by their first names, so I know people have varying strong opinions about this!
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#23 of 25 Old 03-13-2007, 03:42 PM
 
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My wife and I are planning on mum for me and mama for her. My first suggestion was madre for my wife, but she didn't like that idea. It is going to be interesting explaining who the "bio" mother is since I'm carrying and we used my wife's eggs.
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#24 of 25 Old 03-13-2007, 05:17 PM
 
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Mommy and Amma. When I show up after work at something they're doing, dd1 loves to say loudly, "This is my other mom."
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#25 of 25 Old 03-14-2007, 12:48 AM
 
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My boys call DP Kimmy (her name is Kim). They are my bio kids from a prev. relationship, my youngest son was only 2 when we got together, older son was 4... I think their father would have FLIPPED if they would have called her mom. Of course, he wasn't happy about a lot of things back then. Anyways, Kimmy stuck. It's kinda cute, I like it, and she doesn't mind. What's funny is her daughter, who's around the same age as my youngest son, calls me mom most of the time just cuz the boys do. Nothing really set in stone, just whatever!

We will begin to ttc our own bundle of joy together soon... I guess we need to get the name thing figured out. I'm not sure how she would feel about her bio child calling her Kimmy! We'll see!

Do any of you have children in the same house who call each of you different names? Some input would be great!
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