I had a girlfriend, that DH was aware of and knew as his friend (she was NOT bi), up until the wedding. But, the stress of me preparing for a wedding while choosing to make a much more serious commitment to him than to her really put the shits on that relationship. I think she wanted more from me and at that time, I wanted to marry Travis and not Nicole as people, not sexes.
I was so burned out by the breakup with Nicole that it was not too hard at first, and I have certainly gone through times when it was. I think DH *might* go for it if I were visibly really miserable - but I'm just not - kwim? I go up and down like any bipolar gal
but in the end I put my energies into being the best friend to myself, partner to him, and mother to DD.
On top of it we live in the military world - I have a lot of friends who know I'm a *bleeding heart liberal* but our sexual orientations don't come up often, and when they do I always end up having to give the "I'm bi but chose the person not the penis" talk. I don't mind doing it here - but with my DH's boss's wife who I'm only being friendly to socially since we have nothing in common - sometimes I'm just too tired.
I am lucky though, DH is a a super Dad who really nurtures DD as much as I do and as I am now lying in bed on day 4 of the stomach flu I have no doubt she is perfectly happy not to be with her crabby Mommy.
I agree with you though - he can take over and "mother" DD but he is only so/so at doing it for me....I guess as a Mom I've given up on being the one "mothered."