love this topic..delurking as I was posting a link to queer parenting for a friend, never checked it out before...
Anyway, I have a 6 yo DD who was shocked when she learned that some people beleive only girls can do some things and vice versa. She hasa very machistic Grandpa who she rarely sees and she knows how he is...but just milks him for gifts when he shows up and then leaves it...telling us he has some issues... I have worked with her alot when times came up since school started with "only girls/only boys" stuff. Yet kids notice her indifference to this and have actually not played with her b/c she seemed weird to them...sad but true. I do have to be careful b/c she is sooo accepting that a -albeit very sweet-developmentally disabled approx. 16yo boy was dropped off at the park and started playig with her. She did not judge him and played, but although he was well mannered I had to push the "we don't touch so much rule" cause a 16yo boy and a 6yo boy are different... This is where lines get weird.
Anyway, to my 2 yo DS, admirerer (sp?) of his big sis. Oh I hear it all. It was never an issue when DD played with trucks, sports, etc. but with DS it started with his hair. "Why don't you cut it? He looks like a girl!" I respond, "A pretty girl, I know!" Or when I threw on Big sissy old shirt and he looked "pretty" and then Itold admiring people yes, he is a boy...but he likes girls clothes too..lmao..ahh the fun. I admit I goof with it. Who cares,?!?! Those who make a deal Ijust say" If he wasa girl few would care if he like STEREOTYPICAL boy stuff, shed be a cute "tomboy" . Of course Ican repress it and he will be a 40 yo in the closet cross dresser-like I see at my job..." Ya had to see what isaw at work..some men must have snuck out (I worked 3rd shift) for the thrill..and annoyance when I didn't care.
Anyway, my view is don't stress it, but explain that some people do jusge based on sex/color/etc. but you do not..etc.