Oprah's show on DI today - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 05-22-2003, 03:43 PM - Thread Starter
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today's show features issues of kids searching for their roots . . .something tells me it won't be a positive slant.
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#2 of 3 Old 05-22-2003, 08:33 PM
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So, did anyone see it?

I can imagine it's the same points being made over and over - the rights of the child to know it's origins vs the rights of donor anonymity.

There isn't a "win-win" as the situation stands right now. There needs to be a whole paradigm shift in how DI and infertility are viewed before things can change. There is so much secrecy and shame! Why should someone feel shame for having a low or no sperm count??? It's not like it's something someone can control!

Until donor insemination is open, in the same manner as open adoption, then problems like these (donors donating anonymously, children growing up without information, parents lying to their children about who their bio family is, of people just thinking biology doesn't matter) will keep occuring.

This is why I have chosen to use a willing-to-be known donor. I will get to meet my donor and get all his information WHEN MY BABY IS 3 MONTHS OLD, not 18 years. *Anything* can happen in 18 years! And the kid grows up knowing nothing of his/her bio family/origins. I used a very unusual sperm bank, and am more than pleased with the way my pregnancy is progressing. I look forward to meeting the donor and introducing him to his bio-child; and to meeting the half-siblings and the donor's wife. There is also the possibility of meeting the other women who have formed their families by using this donor's sperm. I am not a big proponent of anonymous DI - I do think children have the right to know their bio history and bio family - *I* would ALSO like to know - and thank him/them for helping me to have my much wanted and beloved child. I do honestly believe that with DI, I think the harshest truth is easier to deal with emotionally than being told the kindest lie. Not that I think there's anything "harsh" about known DI - it's very similar to open adoption, without the trauma that removed a child from a home/relinquishing trauma. In my opinion, known donor insemination is the closest to a "win-win" that exists!

Unfortunately, the laws do not reflect this, and that makes it very difficult to arrive at this "win-win" situation without extreme planning measures and some element of risk - especially if you use a known donor without going through a sperm bank.

My 2 cents.

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#3 of 3 Old 06-02-2003, 03:42 PM - Thread Starter
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Madison, your $.02 was a bargain . . .you hit the nail on the cliched head. If you don't mind, what bank did you use? That sounds like a great option. I have dealt with Cal. Cryo. and would like to pursue a similar option as the one you described.

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