anyone else done this?
My dw was not interested in breastfeeding our kiddos. She did let our twins latch on a couple times as babies, and a few more times as toddlers, but she didn't like the way it felt.
I think it is a really cool idea.
I would urge anyone considering sharing the breastfeeding to be cautious, and to work hard to maintain the birth mother's full supply. I know one couple who decided that they would both breastfeed their twins--two moms, two babies--makes sense, right? The non-birth mom induced laction before the babies were born, and her milk came in wonderfully. They both shared the nursing of the babies pretty much right from the start, and couldn't imagine how any one woman could breastfeed twins. About six weeks later, the non-birth mom went back to work, and the birth-mom no longer had enough of a supply to breastfeed her babies on her own. They ended up giving up and switching to formula.
A non-birth mom can also comfort nurse the baby without inducing lactation. We have friends who have used an SNS or lactaid (supplemental nursing devices) with expressed breast milk from the birth mom. They use it the same way some moms use an occassional bottle of expressed milk, only the baby sucked on the non-birth mom's breasts instead of a bottle nipple.
Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 5, 6, 8, 9, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
Good luck to you!
Joan 39, single mama by choice to 10yo boy and 7yo girl
Thanks for all of the replies. I am really glad to see that other ladies have found this joy. I would love for A to consider it, but I just don't see how she will.
For those who have, how hard was it to get the milk to come in?
I will say that the couples I have worked with who have had the best success/least frustration are when the non-birthing partner using the SNS with pumped breast milk from the birthing mom, and not focusing on actually inducing lactation (as LexBeach described). IMO and experience, I think a lot of moms honestly don't realize the time and energy (ongoing!) it will take to induce lactation, and how stressful the newborn period is anyways. The non-bio mom can still experience the closeness of nursing and the baby can get breastmilk this way, and she may even begin to produce a bit of milk of her own.
if you have any questions about it, feel free to email me privately...
Homeschooling Ama to boys (ages 10 and 6) and my SoldierGirl who is serving in the US Army, StepMom to three crazy teens. I'm married to the love of my life.
Love is an action word.
Words have power...use them wisely.
Who you are is just enough.
I had a breast reduction ten years ago so I assumed I'd have nothing, but I now have a little - like 8-10 oz a day. So we're supplimenting and soon I'll stop.
One thing - our lactation consultant insisted that I not nurse the baby, that it would "hurt partner's feelings" while she continued to try to get her milk to come in. By the time partner stopped trying, the baby had gotten used to the bottle and now she won't nurse on the breast. So I have to pump. It's ridiculous. Overall we've had a great experience but I would say this was a big "trust yourself, not the expert" moment for us both.