Doing IUI at home? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 04-03-2007, 11:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

This is my first post, though I have been reading everyone's really helpful comments to one another. I'm excited to be part of such a dynamic community!

I'm a single dyke hopefully-soon-to-be mom. I'm planning to start ttc in June, with frozen sperm, and now in the process of charting my temp, ovulation, etc. I'm planning to do at-home inseminations, mainly for financial reasons, but am concerned that I'm lowering my chances of conception. (I'm 30.) Has anyone here tried an at-home IUI? I'm curious about how complicated it is, and whether anyone has had success this way. (I know about washed v. unwashed sperm, etc.)

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!
Angela

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Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#2 of 16 Old 04-03-2007, 01:40 PM
 
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We did at-home IUI with the help of a midwife--you might start looking for midwives in your area who could do this for you.
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#3 of 16 Old 04-03-2007, 01:41 PM
 
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You can do at-home IUI if you are comfortable accepting the increased risks of infection (you must use sterile catheters, proper hand-washing technique, and have your location as clean as possible) and cervical/uterine puncture (from a non medically-trained person inserting the catheter through the cervix on an angle or just too far inside).

That said, I opted to do so. However, I have a degree in Equine Breeding, and have performed countless inseminations on million dollar show horses using vials of sperm that cost upwards of $10,000 per vial. I felt confident that I could safely instruct my partner.
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#4 of 16 Old 04-03-2007, 10:53 PM
 
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I'm pretty sure it would be impossible for you to do it yourself, but there's no reason why a midwife, or someone else who had been trained in the procedure, couldn't do it for you. Personally, I always felt sooo stressed out when it came time for the inseminations (mostly I'd be stressed about the timing, wondering if we'd gotten it right, but I'd also be stressed about the spermies, and if they'd thawed correctly, and how they were doing, etc.) that I really needed to know that the person doing the IUI was well-trained in the procedure and had done it many times. Once I had it done by someone who didn't do them as frequently (I'd go to the clinic for my IUIs--I've had 8 total in my life), and I absolutely could tell the difference. It was much more painful, and I felt much less sure, and I did not get pregnant that cycle.

It's absolutely true that it's more expensive to have a professional do the IUI, but I think it's worth it. It's not hugely expensive, compared to some other fertility treatment stuff. I believe my IUIs cost about $140 each. Sometimes there are ways to trick insurance companies into paying for them too, if you can get them to believe that you've already been trying for a year at home without success, or if you have any sort of condition that could get you a diagnosis from your OB/GYN. I had an ovarian cyst that was discovered after my second cycle of ttc for baby #3 (I had pain and thought maybe it was an ectpoic, so they did a u/s and found the cyst). It was totally harmless, and I got rid of it with acupuncture. But because of the cyst, my insurance then paid for u/s monitoring of my next cycle (the doctors could argue that they were checking for cysts), which really helped with the timing of the IUI, but which I never would have paid for myself (and I DID get pregnant that cycle!). Anyway, it's something to look into!

Welcome to MDC! Sending lots of your way!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 6, 7, 8, 10, 12 & 12) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#5 of 16 Old 04-04-2007, 10:53 AM
 
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A doctor trained my steady-handed partner to do IUI's at home so we could get the timing right on a couple of weekends when the clinic was closed - it's not rocket science, as they say. I have to say, my partner was "better" at it than a few of docs I used. As long as you have sterile equipment, it's certainly possible for a layperson to do. I don't think you could do it to yourself, however.
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#6 of 16 Old 04-04-2007, 12:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone, this is really helpful. I do have a friend who is a nurse who is willing to actually do the insemination, and hearing everyone's feedback makes me feel like this is a do-able option.

Thanks!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#7 of 16 Old 04-04-2007, 10:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CynicalStar View Post
However, I have a degree in Equine Breeding, and have performed countless inseminations on million dollar show horses using vials of sperm that cost upwards of $10,000 per vial. I felt confident that I could safely instruct my partner.
I am never going to complain about the cost of sperm again. :

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#8 of 16 Old 04-05-2007, 02:43 AM
 
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Angela, that is great that you have a nurse friend willing to do it for you. My partner is a nurse and will be learning how to do IUI at home with our next cycle (if this ICI doesn't work that is). Good luck!

Queer poly family trying since October 2006. Currently using a known donor and no medical interventions.
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#9 of 16 Old 04-05-2007, 02:52 AM
 
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Twylight Dove, how many cycles have you been trying? I noticed you are in PDX like I am. I am doing ICI's right now as well.

I just have to say, which I am sure the OP knows, for anyone else curious - make sure to use washed sperm when performing actual IUI's (not ICI's). IUI's need washed sperm, otherwise the semen going into the uterine cavity could cause it to spasm at minimum!!

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#10 of 16 Old 04-05-2007, 04:36 AM
 
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Ah, another in PDX! Hello!
I'm on try#3. In fact I'm in my tww. We are not thinking about this cycle and just planning on the next one where we start on IUI at home. If I had to go to a clinic to do IUI I think we would wait until our 6th try.
BTW, I facilitate a Queer ttc group at the Q Center on the last Monday of every month starting at 7:30. We are just getting started so the group is small but growing.

Queer poly family trying since October 2006. Currently using a known donor and no medical interventions.
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#11 of 16 Old 04-08-2007, 10:11 PM
 
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I know women who got prego doing iui alone at home but I took the much easier route and did ici at home and got prego both cycles I tried it. You need to be flexible and being on the thin side helps too but its quite doable to do home iui alone.

Seriously?
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#12 of 16 Old 04-17-2017, 10:23 PM
 
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For those of you that successfully conceived via at home IUI using frozen donor sperm from a cryobank, did you have any trouble getting both spouses on the birth certificate or any other trouble regarding both moms being legal guardians? My wife and I are ttc and when I read that some people are doing IUI at home I was immediately interested, but we're both hesitant since legislation states that only medically assisted insemination falls under the legal regulations that protect parents and even if a dr signs off to allow the cryobank to deliver the specimen to our home instead of their office, we don't know if it would be considered "medically assisted" or not. The articles I was able to find seem to be for same sex couples who use a known donor rather than an anonymous donor through a cryobank. We are about to move to eastern New Mexico (my wife's job on the wind farms is moving us since her current site is turning over) where I did read that per their laws, same sex couples who are married before the birth will be considered the parents and put on the birth certificate. Does this mean that whether we do it at home or at a doctor's office that we will both be the legal parents and guardians of our child? Thank you in advance for any help or advice you may have. Reading this thread has already been helpful for me.
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#13 of 16 Old 04-19-2017, 09:35 AM
 
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Getting the sperm from a bank works the same as being medically assisted in terms of the donor giving up their rights. When the donor goes to the bank, they give up their rights to any offspring. You should not have any trouble putting both of your names on the birth certificate. You will need to do a second parent/step-parent adoption after the child is born. An adoption decree has the full faith and credit of the US and is recognized in all states and a legal document of parentage. A birth certificate is only a record of a birth. When you go to do the adoption, you will need to send in a letter from the sperm bank saying that you purchased from them, etc. That's all you need to show the donor has no rights. Good luck!


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#14 of 16 Old 04-26-2017, 11:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by pokeyac View Post
Getting the sperm from a bank works the same as being medically assisted in terms of the donor giving up their rights. When the donor goes to the bank, they give up their rights to any offspring. You should not have any trouble putting both of your names on the birth certificate. You will need to do a second parent/step-parent adoption after the child is born. An adoption decree has the full faith and credit of the US and is recognized in all states and a legal document of parentage. A birth certificate is only a record of a birth. When you go to do the adoption, you will need to send in a letter from the sperm bank saying that you purchased from them, etc. That's all you need to show the donor has no rights. Good luck!
thank you for your response. If a birth certificate is only a record of birth, then why do heterosexual parents not have to complete second parent adoptions when a child is born in order for both parents to have legal rights to the child? Ive read both that a second parent adoption would be needed for us and this both names on the birth certificate would be enough to give both parental rights, so I'm very confused by all this.
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#15 of 16 Old 04-27-2017, 09:28 AM
 
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I believe it is because assumed parentage is determined by state law not federal law and some states may not assume that same-sex parents are the legal parents because their names are on the birth certificate. Marriage is recognized across the country but states have different laws regarding parentage. I attended an event with a family law attorney who told us why it is so important to do the adoption. I have also heard from NCLR that you must do it. I trust their expertise. I live in California where our rights as parents are protected and recognized, but I don't know that the same applies in other states or countries.

http://www.nclrights.org/wp-content/...T_Families.pdf


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#16 of 16 Old 05-20-2017, 10:45 PM
 
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just did home IUI by myself

Hi friends,

ive been following this thread for a while and i appreciate it. I'm single queer woman, trying to conceive with a known donor (a friend from growing up). I had a miscarriage in december (conceived using the turkey baster method) and haven't been getting pregnant since, so i decided to try IUI.

I'm a former homebirth midwife, so I felt pretty comfortable with the procedure and keeping stuff relatively sterile and finding my cervix and stuff. A friend was gonna come over after I washed the sperm to help me insert the catheter. Good plan, but then she had an emergency and couldn't come help me, and I didn't want to miss my ovulation window or let the washed sperm get too cold, so, ummm, here's what happened, I kinda want to brag a little :>

#1 My donor friend left his donation in a sterile, sealed cup inside a small lunch bag, the kind with the insulation, which we lined with 3 microwaved hot packs, making a really nice warm little storage environment. That way, I can walk my dog while his thing happens and he's gone when I get back to my apartment but the semen is at something like body temperature but I am not walking around with semen in my bra and I can wait enough time to make sure I dont walk in on anything.

#2 I washed the sperm, using the centrifuge method and a centrifuge i got for 50 bucks on amazon. happy to describe the washing process in more detail if anyone wants :>

#3 At this point, my friend was gonna come over, but her emergency happened, so there I was on my own, and i didn't want to waste sperm, or a cycle. I loaded the sperm into the syringe, took the needle tip off and put the sperm syringe back into its little warm lunchbox, which i swear is not a euphemism and put the lunchbox down on a chux pad with my other equipment next to my bathtub on my bathroom floor.

#4 I duct taped a hand mirror to the outside of my bathtub (built in to the wall, not clawfoot, so it had a flat surface) and got a headlamp flashlight and then put a towel on top of a footstool about a foot back from the tub. thank god for duct tape

#5 I inserted my speculum (with a little bit of pre-seed on the bills cuz I figured Id be moving around more than one usually does with a speculum inside her and wanted the lubricant). I was laying on my back on the floor next to the tub while I inserted the speculum.

#6 Then, and here's where it got slightly weird, I positioned myself so my legs were over the side of the tub, with my feet almost touching the back wall above the tub, and my vagina facing the hand mirror. I put my head up on the footstool and turned my headlamp on so that the light was pointing at the mirror. Then I had to readjust my positioning a little bit to be able to see my cervix in the mirror. In other words, I was perpendicular to the tub, with my butt in the air, my legs over the side of the tub and my head slightly raised up on the footstool so I could see my cervix in the mirror. Once I got the position right, and made sure I could see well, I reached over to the chux pad with my supplies and put on my gloves.

#7 Using the mirror to see what i was doing, I guided the catheter into my cervix. Remembering that the mirror image thing was happening and so what looked like left was actually right was rough, especially because I have a math learning disability that makes directions and spatial stuff really hard for me (diagnosed when i was 30 and in graduate school, cuz no one cared much about learning disabilities when i was in school in the 80s and they would just let me read during math class, but i digress). I was going really slow and could feel the catheter going in, and a little bit of resistence, which i pushed through. Once the catheter was in, which I definitely felt, it was harder to see what I was doing because the catheter was almost blocking my view. But at that point, I could feel what i was doing, so I knew I was getting it right.

#8 I didnt want to push the catheter in too far, so I stopped as soon as I felt the tiniest bit of resistance. At this point, I was a little scared to move at all, because I was worried it would dislodge the catheter, but I needed to get the syringe of sperm out of the lunchbox and attach it. So I took the risk of moving my right hand slightly to the right to pick up the lunch bag (luckily it had a handle) and put it on my upper stomach like an otter.

#9 The catheter didnt move at all during this process, or when I opened the lunch bag and tapped the syringe to remove any air bubbles, and that convinced me that the catheter was in until I removed it, which made me feel better. So I carefully attached the syringe to the external end of the catheter, and slowly (very slowly) pushed the syringe plunger AND F-IN' INSEMINATED MYSELF!!!

#1 0 I sat there feeling like a badass for another few minutes, then pulled the catheter out of my cervix, then took my speculum out. I stayed laying with my legs on the tub and my uterus higher than my stomach for a few minutes, at which point my legs were getting kinda tired, so I lay back down on the floor.

#1 1 My dog had been ignoring me this entire time, which is kinda odd for her, because she's a very bonded, cling to me like glue little pit bull, but she came over and started licking my face and trying to sit her 60 pound body on my lap, so I got up and got us both some ice cream.

And that is my home, by myself, necessity is the mother of invention, hopefully it works IUI story.

Not sure I'd recommend this method to others, but wanted to share in case its helpful. Actually, i'd totally recommend it, if you're cool with the risks, which I am, personally, because I seriously do feel pretty badass right now.

Oh, and I drew up the syringe of refrigerated sperm wash, removed the needle and stuck it in my bra while my friend was doing his thing so that it would be body temperature by the time I was adding it to sperm, which I've heard is important, having the sperm wash be body temperature.

It really didn't hurt during the actual IUI and I started having some mild cramps maybe 20 minutes later, which are gone by now (its been over an hour)

Good luck to everyone trying to get knocked up, and thanks for listening!
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