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#121 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 02:58 AM
 
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I would say that I'm a lesbian-leaning bisexual. That said, I keep it in the closet more or less when dating a woman, since the lesbian community is a bit put-off by the idea that I could go that way, and if I date a man (but that hasn't happened in a long time) I tend to also keep the bi-ness on the down low, since that tends to elicit comments and images -- not necessarily by the dude, but his friends and whatnot. It seems that BI=slut in many ways to both hetero and homo communities. I hate that part, it's like I always want to scream "but it's not about the sex, really! it just means I can handle both sets of parts!" At any rate, I continue to be single, mostly because all the (very beautiful) women around here seem to be mentally ill. And the men, well, maybe someday.
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#122 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 03:15 AM
 
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I would say that I'm a lesbian-leaning bisexual. That said, I keep it in the closet more or less when dating a woman, since the lesbian community is a bit put-off by the idea that I could go that way, and if I date a man (but that hasn't happened in a long time) I tend to also keep the bi-ness on the down low, since that tends to elicit comments and images -- not necessarily by the dude, but his friends and whatnot. It seems that BI=slut in many ways to both hetero and homo communities. I hate that part, it's like I always want to scream "but it's not about the sex, really! it just means I can handle both sets of parts!" At any rate, I continue to be single, mostly because all the (very beautiful) women around here seem to be mentally ill. And the men, well, maybe someday.
Wow, it's like I wrote that post. I prefer women but it's not like I go out of my way to avoid men. Having said that, I hate coming out as bi, and what I hate even more is that I hide it so often. You're right that bi=slut in msot cases to people. Now that I have a baby, people automatically assume I'm straight, when really, I couldn't care less if I never date another man. Women on the other hand, I wouldn't feel whole if I never dated women again.

Your comment about the mentally ill women made me laugh. I can relate (although, who knows, maybe I'm one of them :-)
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#123 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 05:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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nevermind
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#124 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 08:06 AM
 
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But I'm curious. How may ppl would prefer a regular bi parent chat to dating or poly....?
I'm really trying hard to answer your question, but unfortunately, I can't figure out what you are asking. This may be because its early and I just got up. So I WILL answer it.. maybe after a few others have, and I can figure it out.
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#125 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 09:20 AM
 
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heket I could also use some clarification. though I cant claim 'too early in the morning', I'm gonna throw my lot in the 'too late at night' as my excuse for not understanding

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#126 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 10:36 AM
 
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heket I could also use some clarification. though I cant claim 'too early in the morning', I'm gonna throw my lot in the 'too late at night' as my excuse for not understanding
I think maybe she means she wants a chat for monogomous bi people?

Momma to DS1 4/5/06 nursed with IGT to self-weaning at 27 months, DS2 1/20/09 still nursing, DS3 due late November - planning to tandem with IGT and SNS
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#127 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 11:35 AM
 
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I didn't get her question either.

There's already a poly thread, right? I have a hard time accepting the poly lifestyle because everyone assumes that since I'm bi, I'm also poly. Like I can't be monogamous. I have a friend that is poly with her husband (he is not, which seems totally unfair) and she always tells me how great it is and she can't believe I haven't tried it (I'm single now, but back when). It pisses me off. I'm bi, and that doesn't mean that I have to have men and women at the same time.
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#128 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 01:32 PM
 
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A straight up (haha) 'bi' thread with all it's colors is what I would prefer. This thread has been lovely, I've learned a lot and it's the first time I've ever felt like I had real community for this aspect of my life.

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#129 of 142 Old 07-27-2007, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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heket I could also use some clarification. though I cant claim 'too early in the morning', I'm gonna throw my lot in the 'too late at night' as my excuse for not understanding
heh, that's my excuse for the vague question as well!

Okay, now that I've slept a bit...I'm just gonna go remove my last post. I really should learn not to be up late posting... :
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#130 of 142 Old 07-28-2007, 02:01 PM
 
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Heket, I wish I knew what you said. It might have articulated something useful for me. I have felt uncomfortable posting to this thread and am having trouble explaining why.
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#131 of 142 Old 07-28-2007, 02:05 PM
 
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Heket, I wish I knew what you said. It might have articulated something useful for me. I have felt uncomfortable posting to this thread and am having trouble explaining why.


I wish you didn't feel uncomfortable! If you'd like to PM me on a more personal level you can
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#132 of 142 Old 07-28-2007, 02:13 PM
 
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Please don't feel uncomfortable! I love your posts on other threads, and it would be wonderful to have you come join us here!

By the way, I've grown up with Belgians. My mom (we live in her basement) has a Turv now. They are cool dogs.
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#133 of 142 Old 07-28-2007, 09:09 PM
 
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heh, that's my excuse for the vague question as well!

Okay, now that I've slept a bit...I'm just gonna go remove my last post. I really should learn not to be up late posting... :
oh, dont remove your question! Personally, I'm not particularly monogamous, (but my DP is, so that kinda means I am!) and I'm not particularly poly either; I'm just a little green majik faerie.

I'm happy to have a thread that is for bi mamas, its been really nice chatting. I'm also not too thrilled about the prevalent idea that bi=poly and REALLY miffed about the continuation of poly=sleeps with everyone.
I'm bi and I DONT sleep with everyone. (I dont sleep with men )

and, for the record, if we're gonna ban 'up too late' posting, then I might as well just hand in my MDC membership right now

BSD dont be uncomfortable. try an ergonomic chair...

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#134 of 142 Old 07-29-2007, 12:15 AM
 
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Thanks! Well I'm not totally sure what's bothering me. I am just wary, due to prior bad experiences I guess. My experience with the bi discussion online is fraught with lots of drama.

OK I just wrote out my story and erased it...I guess I am still afraid of being judged, not necessarily by people in the queer forum but just in general. The position I am in is hard for most people to understand and I'm always afraid of being negatively judged or given well-meaning advice that kind of implies there's something wrong with where I'm at. Not to be cryptic or anything. Well ok if anyone can get the references I drop to Dworkin and Stoltenberg, Stieglitz and O'Keefe, and Leonard and Virginia, drop me a line. :
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#135 of 142 Old 07-29-2007, 12:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry ladies, I'd love to reformat the question. The problem was that night, I was er, um... : So I'm kinda at a loss as to what the original question in my mind, at that time was... :
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#136 of 142 Old 07-30-2007, 07:23 AM
 
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BSD, you mean about Andrea, woolf, et al?

so heket, what is the $64M question? is the answer 42? (or maybe 69?)

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#137 of 142 Old 07-31-2007, 06:02 AM
 
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Whoa, dang, I gotta come to this forum more often. Actually I've been away from MDC for the most part, for awhile. Anyway, nice to see this thread.

I identify more as queer, though I am bi with a straight male partner. Fun times. I also ID as poly, but he does not. More fun times.

I am very interested in talking to others that have been in a similar situation as mine. It's a very long story, but basically DP does not like this about me. He knew I was bi and poly from the start, and in fact met me when I was living with my boyfriend and girlfriend, at the time. The girlfriend being a long-time friend of his. Neither of those relationships worked out, and I ended up being with him instead. He does not want me to be with anyone else, and is very sensitive about it. There is one other specific special lady in my life (Hi J, if you see this ) that I would be honored to be with. When we were going down that path, or at least trying to (with DP fully aware of what was going on), he suddenly freaked out. I had to stop, and work on my relationship with him instead, but that meant not seeing this good friend of mine any longer. At least for the time being. It's all a mess. Though at the same time, our relationship is a lot better now. We see the same counsellor, though separately... and have learned lots of things about communication and other such things.
But he is still very sensitive about it, and hates that he can't be everything to me (in a way-- at least that's how he sees it). I don't want to freak him out, but I will never be complete and feel right in just a relationship with a man. I know now all bi people feel this way, but I definitely do. I feel like I'm pretending, all the time-- Denying a part of myself. Sometimes it makes me a little crazy. I love DP very much, but it's just not about that.

I'm just trying to be patient and make sure my relationship is where it needs to be before trying to go any further, again. But it's hard. Has anybody else experienced this? I need some companionship in my pain, I guess... :\

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#138 of 142 Old 07-31-2007, 06:23 AM
 
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bjorker; I can share your pain...
been through something similar with my DP;
I had a GF for a while, he knew about it and was ok with that, but slowly he hurned sour... we had to end it.
I was seeing this gf, mostly out of a feeling that I really needed to fulfil some part of me that a male partner just cant do. anyway, here I am, still with the male partner, still feeling unfulfilled.

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#139 of 142 Old 07-31-2007, 11:06 PM
 
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majikfaerie. If you ever wanna talk sometime, I'd be totally interested. This is hard to do alone. I'm on AIM as bjorkgasm or YahooIM as bjorkgasms. gee, I wonder what music artist I totally crush on? hehe.

I'll just say, if you're not interested, that's cool too. I've just been a little dumbfounded about where to turn with a problem like this. Very happy to see this thread!

The silly thing is... I always wondered if I'd find the right [female] person. Especially because it's not exactly easy to find someone your own gender to be with, when you're already in a relationship, and have (a) kid(s).
And then I did, and she felt the same way. How wonderful, right? Except I can't do anything about it, anyway.
I'm really not interested in seeing anybody else. I think that'd be it. And I'm stuck.
(I'm slightly embarrassed, because she's on MDC too... but at the same time, it's all good, because she knows how I feel. hehe)

Hopefully this is all making sense... it always sounds so confusing when I try and explain this stuff.

Weirdo Mama to amazing Aurelia, age 9 & Ember Roslyn, age 3!
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#140 of 142 Old 07-31-2007, 11:26 PM
 
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Hopefully this is all making sense... it always sounds so confusing when I try and explain this stuff.
I always say the best way to confuse an issue is trying to explain it

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#141 of 142 Old 08-01-2007, 02:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#142 of 142 Old 08-13-2007, 01:19 PM
 
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bumping for a friend
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