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#181 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 02:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 2happymamas View Post
How long did all of you ladies wait to test? Today is 7DPO and the overwhelming urge to test has just now hit. I really, really want to test tomorrow, but I am scared. I am so scared to get a BFN. I was not prepared to be this emotionally invested. I mean, I obviously KNEW that I wanted to get pregnant, but I do not think I am prepared to get a BFN. I think I will be much more upset than I ever anticipated if I get a BFN. I know that part of it likely has to do with this being our first cycle TTC, but I am going to be very disappointed and upset if it did not work.
I tested at 7dpo. : In my defence, I was using dollar store tests so I only wasted a dollar. And I told myself that I would know if I get evap lines, and what they look like, by testing that early. It was okay and even a good experience for me.

I got a BFN, obviously. At 7 dpo, that is pretty much a sure thing. Same at 8 dpo. If you are not prepared for a BFN, do NOT test, because that is absolutely what you will get.

For me, I just needed to pee on something.
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#182 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 02:23 PM
 
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Hey, I'm also 7dpo!

And, officially going crazy.

Honestly, I cannot do a lick of work. Completely useless. And vascillating between wild hope that maybe this is it, and wild despair as I convince myself that it can't be.

I have weird, AF-like cramps today, but it's at least four days too early for that. I'm still poking at my boobs to test for tenderness. I think that they are slightly more sore than normal, but less sore than when I was pregnant. Of course, maybe they're always like this and I just don't notice.

You guys, I am just so disheartened at the thought of trying again next month. I know that I shouldn't be- this is only my third try, and I was prepared for it to take longer than this. I don't think I realized though what an emotional toll it was going to take on me. I really wanted to be pregnant before my birthday next month. I really wanted to be pregnant with this donor (I just used the last vial). This process is hard because I'm such a planner and a perfectionist. And ttc is all about letting go, making peace with ambiguity. I find this really, really challenging.

Hope everyone else is in better spirits than I! And may the BFPs start rolling in soon...

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#183 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 02:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 2happymamas View Post
How long did all of you ladies wait to test? Today is 7DPO and the overwhelming urge to test has just now hit. I really, really want to test tomorrow, but I am scared. I am so scared to get a BFN. I was not prepared to be this emotionally invested. I mean, I obviously KNEW that I wanted to get pregnant, but I do not think I am prepared to get a BFN. I think I will be much more upset than I ever anticipated if I get a BFN. I know that part of it likely has to do with this being our first cycle TTC, but I am going to be very disappointed and upset if it did not work.
I'm waiting at least till 9-10 dpo but my luteal phase is always just 10 days for the most part. From your post, I don't think you should test so early, 2hm, but that's just my opinion. Sounds like you've got a lot riding on this and 8 dpo is really too early. Could you hang in there for at least two-three more days so when you do test it will be more conclusive?

Sending out happy, positive thoughts to everyone! Oh and

-Rachel

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#184 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 05:16 PM
 
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And, officially going crazy.




You guys, I am just so disheartened at the thought of trying again next month. I know that I shouldn't be- this is only my third try, and I was prepared for it to take longer than this. I don't think I realized though what an emotional toll it was going to take on me. I really wanted to be pregnant before my birthday next month. I really wanted to be pregnant with this donor (I just used the last vial). This process is hard because I'm such a planner and a perfectionist. And ttc is all about letting go, making peace with ambiguity. I find this really, really challenging.
sending you a

it's hard. wouldn't it be nice to "oops!" be pregnant!

it took 3 months to get my wife pg with #1, and the first two attempts were timed very poorly. i *know* that it will most likely take a few months for me to get pregnant; hopefully only a few, but it doesn't make it any easier. there really isn't a way to be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster. i find myself thinking about it all day, every day. yuck.

i sometimes try and figure out what the lesson in it all is. what god is trying to teach me. occasionally i find myself saying things like "give yourself over to this process like you have to give ourself over to parenting in the middle of the night!" but then i just roll my eyes and think "whatever, this sucks. i don't want to learn from it, i just want to get pregnant!"

hang in there! glad we all have each other

Used to be stay at home parent to our two lovely girls, survived nursing school with family intact, about to graduate and looking for a job! I low-supply nursed my bio daughter for 3 years. 

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#185 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 06:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really relate to what all of you are saying. The investment emotionally, the inability to think about anything else - it's full on!

I am still not bleeding (14dpo) and have gone from POAS addict to POAS phobic because I fear that it will come up negative and dash all the hopes I had. If I'm not bleeding by tonight (it's only 7.30 in the morning here), I will test.

I do have horrific nausea and related gassy pains which has been getting worse for a couple of days now. And I definitely don't have PMS. Tell me it's looking good people???

2happymamas - DON'T TEST! Take it from the woman who first tested at 4dpo (then 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12dpo ) - I was so demoralised by the BFNs that I'm now scared to test at all!

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#186 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 07:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MujerMamaMismo View Post
I really relate to what all of you are saying. The investment emotionally, the inability to think about anything else - it's full on!

I am still not bleeding (14dpo) and have gone from POAS addict to POAS phobic because I fear that it will come up negative and dash all the hopes I had. If I'm not bleeding by tonight (it's only 7.30 in the morning here), I will test.

I do have horrific nausea and related gassy pains which has been getting worse for a couple of days now. And I definitely don't have PMS. Tell me it's looking good people???
Mujer, that does look promising!! Please keep us posted.

I also relate about all of the emotional ups and down.s We went in saying that we would be shocked if we got it on the first try, but not getting pregnant right off the bat was still disappointing. We start the countdown to insem #3 this week, and if we get it this time that will still be pretty darn fast, so lets hope. I think what scares me is seeing how long it took some of our friends and how stressful it was for them and really not wanting it to be like that for us. In the end, our friends who had the toughest time did finally conceive and carry to term and their daughter is so precious, so maybe the time doesn't matter that much in the long-run.

Well, all that, and the money sucks!
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#187 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 07:51 PM
 
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Wow, I feel the agonizing suspense on this thread increasing by the minute. I also was completely useless the whole 2ww. Couldn't concentrate, couldn't work, searched the internet all day at work for symptoms and success stories.

Just wondering - For those of you who have been through this for a little while - Could you tell me if the first 2ww is the worst? I hope so. Does it get easier/ harder/ the same?

I'm rooting for you all I want someone to get a BFP soon and break the tension!!!!!!!!!!
Pranava

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#188 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 07:58 PM
 
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I want to know if the first 2ww is the worst too! I was lucky enough to get pg the first time, both pregnancies, although I had two tries last year that didn't take. I can't remember if the second was easier though, it all blends together.

I too was a mess. I woke up thinking: I just have to get through today and x more days until I can know... Like, the days where I was waiting held no promise in themselves and were just time in the way of my answer. Ugh.
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#189 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 08:13 PM
 
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Wow, I feel the agonizing suspense on this thread increasing by the minute. I also was completely useless the whole 2ww. Couldn't concentrate, couldn't work, searched the internet all day at work for symptoms and success stories.

Just wondering - For those of you who have been through this for a little while - Could you tell me if the first 2ww is the worst? I hope so. Does it get easier/ harder/ the same?

I'm rooting for you all I want someone to get a BFP soon and break the tension!!!!!!!!!!
Pranava
For what it's worth, I do think this month was a little easier. Discovering the cheapie hpts at the Dollar Tree helped a lot. I know that some find getting the bfns disheartening, but it gave me something concrete that I could DO. I'm also not charting, so I think the BFNs late in the cycle actually allowed me to get used to the idea that af was coming, perhaps in the same way that seeing the temp drop tips off the charters.

But I'm only at two tries so far. I think I can find a way to not drive myself crazy for a few more tries, maybe even several, but if things go on a very long time I'm sure it will be harder.

How's that for an answer? Clear as mud, right!? Take heart Pranava, it's bound to happen for both of us.
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#190 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 09:07 PM
 
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Wow, this is some serious lesbian-bonding action happening right now!

MMM, I don't want to jinx you but it does sound very good that you're preggers! I can't wait to hear about your tomorrow!

I feel like I have the longest time to wait. I'm only 3 dpo. And boy are you guys reading my mind. I'm pretty much all-consumed with this. DW thinks I'm nuts and I'm not getting any work done. I had to force myself to work on a video project today so that I could say I at least started something at work. Augh!

We were also one of those people that went into this thinking we had a few tries ahead of us. But it's got to get better. It can't be like this every time, can it? :

I'm really starting to think I'm nuts. I'm only 3 dpo and my breast are tender. That's not even possible, right? To my own defense and what is helping me stay somewhat sane is that the past few periods I've had I've noticed that my breast do get tender. So it's not a sign I can really count on and because technically (because I have a 10 day luteal phase) I should start my period in a week. Man, I WHOLE WEEK! We are going out of town for Labor day with friends, so I'm hoping that will help occupy my brain for a day or two.

I'm also having a issue with how to look at this situation. I'm a positive thinking person and I tend to believe that like-attracts-like. But I'm so confused as to my position on this whole thing. I want to think positive, "I'm so preggers!" but then I risk a MAJOR let down with a BFN. Then again do I jinx myself by counting out hope? So far I'm somewhere in the middle and flip-flop between positive "Yeah!" and negative, "Probably not" on a minute by minute basis. Anyone else going through this? Any advice is welcomed.

BTW, small survey here. How many people have you told you're actively TTC? Most of our close friends knew we planned to start in Nov. But no one knows we started early. I kind of like it that way.

Have a good night ladies!

-Rachel

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#191 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 11:43 PM
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I am still not bleeding (14dpo) and have gone from POAS addict to POAS phobic
I can totally relate!!! In July I tested 3 times and August I held off in total fear. Good luck Mujer, in your POAS and getting through your whole day today without POAS...ahhh the wonders of TTC (damned if you do, damned if you don't)


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BTW, small survey here. How many people have you told you're actively TTC? !
EVERYONE--(well except our parents, as I've said before, neither DP nor I can handle either of our mother's if they were on this "roller coaster" with us)
That is one of the problems the longer it takes the more people I tell--I just keep increasing the pressure--My mom will known soon if these zygotes don't get sticky!!!

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#192 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 11:47 PM
 
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fyi, a really good place to get cheap pregnancy tests is saveontests.com

they even have opks as well.
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#193 of 201 Old 08-30-2007, 11:53 PM
 
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Just wondering - For those of you who have been through this for a little while - Could you tell me if the first 2ww is the worst? I hope so. Does it get easier/ harder/ the same?
for me it got easier, because even if I did end up pregnant I could lose it early on, I have had 3 miscarriages, one before our son, two since. So for me the stress was put more on if I could get pregnant AND stay pregnant. It also didn't help to spend a bunch of money on pregnancy tests, or even stress about it until very close to day 14, because it would just drive me and my partner crazy. The longer you do this, the more desperate you get, the more you just can't bear another let down. Especially when you get to be my age. Reality starts to set in, and not to mention you are spending so much money (I am doing injectibles with IUI AND donor sperm), and the next phase of trying would be at least four times as expensive. My last cycle I tried (before this one), when I didn't get pregnant, some other stuff with my doctor's office happened, and I went over the edge. I was a basket case. I couldn't talk to or see my friends who just had babies, babies made me really sad, and I was just beyond desperate. It took probably 2 months to get over it. I just mostly try not to think too much, try not to stress. Stress isn't good, right?

Anyway, I hope that offers some insight, probably too much. I started my period today as well.
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#194 of 201 Old 08-31-2007, 02:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm out too. And while I'm certainly disappointed, I'm mostly just feeling incredibly relieved to be out of limbo la la land. I really hope the first 2ww is the worst.

So, I have 6 weeks now (can't insem in Sept 'cos donor is going to Italy) to do all those things I'd planned on doing before TTC this time around like getting back to the gym and eating more leafy greens

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#195 of 201 Old 08-31-2007, 10:22 AM
 
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MujerMama- I'm sorry. Stupid AF. I took a month off after my first try too, and it was frustrating, but also nice to drink wine with dinner and eat sushi and not be constantly worried about whether or not I was pregnant. Your body will be so ready by next time!

BurtsGirl- I actually did have very swollen, tender breasts by 4dpo the first time I insemmed, when I was (briefly) pregnant. This could definitely be a sign! I'm still frustrated by the lack of soreness in mine now, at 8dpo. (Yes, I'm still poking them obsessively...)

In terms of who I've told...pretty much everyone knows at this point! My mother answered the phone the other day by saying, "Have you inseminated yet??" Thank god I'm not straight- these questions would become waaaay too personal. My friends have been very involved in this process from the beginning- looking at donors with me, researching birthing options, and sometimes being present for my inseminations. That has meant that there's no way I could wait until I was three months pregnant to tell people. Though I know that that would make a lot of people uncomfortable, for me it has been really great. When I lost my first pregnancy, I had an incredible network of support, and I honestly don't know what I would have done without it.

In other news, I just had my 21 day progesterone test today (I decided to wait, and not take the supplements until I knew what my levels were), so I should find out this afternoon how that's looking.

In the meantime, I'll procrastinate a bit more and obsess about pregnancy instead of working on my dissertation...

Good luck (future) mamas!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#196 of 201 Old 08-31-2007, 11:26 AM
 
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I'm out too.
sorry to hear that enjoy the next six weeks of wait-free glory and all those leafy greens.

i'm happy/nervous/excited to report that i got a big faint positive this morning. tried desperately to take a good photo with every photo taking device, but they all failed to pick up what we could (faintly) but clearly see. incidentally, this is how my wife's pregnancy with our daughter began. please pray that it's healthy and it sticks!

Used to be stay at home parent to our two lovely girls, survived nursing school with family intact, about to graduate and looking for a job! I low-supply nursed my bio daughter for 3 years. 

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#197 of 201 Old 08-31-2007, 11:49 AM
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I'm out too. And while I'm certainly disappointed, I'm mostly just feeling incredibly relieved to be out of limbo la la land. I really hope the first 2ww is the worst.

So, I have 6 weeks now (can't insem in Sept 'cos donor is going to Italy) to do all those things I'd planned on doing before TTC this time around like getting back to the gym and eating more leafy greens
Mujer--sorry 'bout AF, but I do think you're headed in the right direction, the month was definitely a blessing in disguise for us. I like the eating more greens part, and I'll let y'all in on a little secret I Heart greens soo much that we've decided this lil babe (whenever it comes) will be named Kale

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i'm happy/nervous/excited to report that i got a big faint positive this morning. tried desperately to take a good photo with every photo taking device, but they all failed to pick up what we could (faintly) but clearly see. incidentally, this is how my wife's pregnancy with our daughter began. please pray that it's healthy and it sticks!
YEAH YEAH---drink lots 'o fenugreek seed tea--get as sticky as you can!!!
Congrats on the B"faint"P!!!

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#198 of 201 Old 08-31-2007, 12:13 PM
 
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JoAnne, that was good to here! Thank you

MMM, Dangit!! I'm sorry AF showed. I love your perspective on taking the month off that's a great way too look at it! Use this month to reflect and be better prepared for next month!

Quote:
I actually did have very swollen, tender breasts by 4dpo the first time I insemmed, when I was (briefly) pregnant.
Angela, it's not nice to tease a possibly pregnant girl and the very least one that's on PMS. How did the progesterone test look? I really need to get one done myself. Can you get one even though you might be pregnant? Or will that mess with the results? We are planning on inseming next month also and if that doesn't work I'll go to the RE for a full work up and we'll start IUI with him in Nov. I'm praying we don't have to go that far! But if needed we're prepared.

For pdxmomazon - : : :

-Rachel

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#199 of 201 Old 08-31-2007, 03:38 PM
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OMGoddess Y'all I just got a faint+opk...guess I'll get to insem twice in August...

But of course I can't find KD!!!! I had it arranged for Sat, Sun and Mon thinking Sat was early---ok quick help

If I -OPK at 11 pm last night and (faint )+opk at noon today what does my window look like??? I'm thinking I'm not gonna catch KD before his dinner shift at the restaraunt but I should for sure get to come over after work tonight right?? and then again tomorrow right...eeeeeekkkkk

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#200 of 201 Old 08-31-2007, 04:51 PM
 
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Kjm, what is normally your range of faint lines before you get a positive? I normally have 2-3 days of faint OPK's before I get a definate positive. GOOD LUCK!!

-Rachel

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#201 of 201 Old 08-31-2007, 04:51 PM
 
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I've posted the new Queers TTC in Sept thread come check in!

-Rachel

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