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#61 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 05:54 AM
 
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majikfaerie - um....I'd be in shock for such an email too!

But first - HI! I'm back online after a month - OMG it's hard to be offline!


We are unsure on Halloween - just settling in here in Hawaii and trying to find our groove. Luckily I've managed not to run into any exes yet - there are way to many of both sexes living on this island!

My first "big" step was to list my "connection" as "we dated" with an ex girlfriend on Facebook where other family members have also linked me. Let's see if I hear anything about it....

Your User Agreement here at MDC, read it and make it your friend and read the FAQ to answer all the questions of the (MDC) world.
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#62 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 06:57 AM
 
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I believe tomorrow is National Coming Out Day. As much as I'd like to say I'm going to make some grand jesture... it's just not happening. I'll wear my rainbow tie-dyed shirt, but... it's been a shitty month. That's all I can muster.
I'm actually currently wearing a rainbow tie-dyed shirt

For Halloween, DS#1 is being Jengo Fett and the baby is going to be Yoda. They both look ADORABLE!! At Adam's (DS#1) request we're going to try to be Padme or Leia and a random Jedi. I think I'm making the costumes and I haven't decided whether I want to attempt Padme or Leia yet lol!

My myspace is www.myspace.com/rainbowbright215 It has nothing in regards to sexuality as I haven't told most of my very judgemental family. My brother knows but family wise, I think that's it.

ALL of my friends know. I'm very out, just not with my family or DP's family. My parents have made it known that they're "borderline homophobic" so I try my best to keep it from them. DP's family just gives off a very homophobic vibe so I don't even want to attempt that discussion. I'm in a hetero mono relationship so our families don't need to know that I'm not straight.

I am about SICK of hearing about how being bi or gay is a choice. It's driving me INSANE. My father keeps going on about how people CHOOSE to be that way and I've run into so many people who say it's a sin for people the CHOOSE to live that way. I do not know one single bi or gay person who CHOSE to be bi or gay. You choose to come out yes but IME, this is something you are born with. I realized I was bi when I was 8? Something like that. Anybody else tired of the "choice" comments?
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#63 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 08:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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majikfaerie -- I wish I had something truly comforting to tell you, but dang... I don't know, that just sounds difficult.


As for me, I've been fuming all night about this:
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/200...WS01/710130053
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/...al_antigay_mil

I live in Lynnwood. I consider it my home town. I've lived in the area my entire life. I've already written a letter to the city and addressed it to every applicable email address I could find, but I'm so outraged that this is happening here that I can't seem to put it to rest long enough to go to bed. Making things worse, I don't know what else to do. I can show up in protest, but I feel like I'd just be egging them on. I'm so sad right now. :

Danielle-- I hear ya. Most of my family is ultra-conservative, and that's just no fun at all. There's an article in the current issue of Mother Jones magazine addressing the importance (or lack of importance) of the "belief" that sexuality is inborn or not. Personally, I can't imagine it being a choice. Who would chose to take on that kind of hatred and intolerance? Especially in regards to bisexuality. I'm proud of who I am, because that's who I am, but damn if it doesn't make things exponentially more difficult.

Kulia-- I'm very glad to see you around again! Enjoy settling in.


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#64 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 08:31 AM
 
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hi kailua, welcome back!

hi danielle well, obviously. we can even choose our hair and skin colour these days. so of course you're choosing to be bi :

bjorker...
OMG.
is there a smilie for speechless?

just ignore them and they'll go away.

It was lately front-page in news in my area (cant find the article now) that some minister was offering a guaranteed 12-step program cure for gays!
where's the little angry smiley with a baseball bat when you need one??

anyway, they hardly get any credibility, even with other conservatives if they're gonna go around saying the holocaust was perpetrated by gays. I'd love to see them go up to sme nazis and say that. or some jews for that matter. Heck, the germans would be offended. so would the polish. and the russians, and the blacks... and pretty much everyone who was affected by ww2. which is everyone. especially me.
okay, I'm coming over, we're gonna storm the place. pick me up at the airport, will ya!


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#65 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 12:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bjorker View Post
majikfaerie -- I wish I had something truly comforting to tell you, but dang... I don't know, that just sounds difficult.


As for me, I've been fuming all night about this:
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/200...WS01/710130053

http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/...al_antigay_mil

I live in Lynnwood. I consider it my home town. I've lived in the area my entire life. I've already written a letter to the city and addressed it to every applicable email address I could find, but I'm so outraged that this is happening here that I can't seem to put it to rest long enough to go to bed. Making things worse, I don't know what else to do. I can show up in protest, but I feel like I'd just be egging them on. I'm so sad right now. :

Danielle-- I hear ya. Most of my family is ultra-conservative, and that's just no fun at all. There's an article in the current issue of Mother Jones magazine addressing the importance (or lack of importance) of the "belief" that sexuality is inborn or not. Personally, I can't imagine it being a choice. Who would chose to take on that kind of hatred and intolerance? Especially in regards to bisexuality. I'm proud of who I am, because that's who I am, but damn if it doesn't make things exponentially more difficult.

Kulia-- I'm very glad to see you around again! Enjoy settling in.

I couldn't even read all of that first article, it had me fuming for you! People are so stupid.

Ya know, I raised the same question to my dad. I know I wouldn't CHOOSE something like being bi bc people are so cruel. Sure I like to be different and I've been known to do things INTENTIONALLY to rebel against the mainstream society but I wouldn't do anything that could potentially make people violently hate me! His response was pretty much that "those people" don't care that people will hate them at that sometimes they do it for attention. Ok yeah- some stars and kids in highschool will CLAIM to be gay or bi when they're really not just for attention but they admit the truth pretty damn quick when they start to feel the hate. Nobody would ever choose to be treated the way some gays or bis are treated so it's a ridiculous notion. Sometimes I want to scream over the phone "I think I know more about being bi or gay than you do damn it!" but that would obviously lead to me coming out to him so I suck it up and always try to present the opposite side of the argument. He doesn't violently hate gays and bis btw, he just thinks it's wrong. Which I still can't see how it can be wrong when it's not a choice. Wrong indicates making a bad choice. When it's not a choice, how in the world can it be WRONG?

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Originally Posted by majikfaerie View Post
hi kailua, welcome back!

hi danielle well, obviously. we can even choose our hair and skin colour these days. so of course you're choosing to be bi :

bjorker...
OMG.
is there a smilie for speechless?

just ignore them and they'll go away.

It was lately front-page in news in my area (cant find the article now) that some minister was offering a guaranteed 12-step program cure for gays!
where's the little angry smiley with a baseball bat when you need one??

anyway, they hardly get any credibility, even with other conservatives if they're gonna go around saying the holocaust was perpetrated by gays. I'd love to see them go up to sme nazis and say that. or some jews for that matter. Heck, the germans would be offended. so would the polish. and the russians, and the blacks... and pretty much everyone who was affected by ww2. which is everyone. especially me.
okay, I'm coming over, we're gonna storm the place. pick me up at the airport, will ya!

Hmmmm...a 12 step program eh? I think emphatically, that he needs a 12 step program for ignorance
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#66 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 03:31 PM
 
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Okay, I have a problem...

I just got an IM from an ex GF...
(quick background: She's an american living in israel, I met her there, we dated for a little while, DP was trying really hard to be okay with that, she was being really nice to him, but in the end, it was just too challenging for DP and anyway it didnt really seem to be working out with the gf: she is just a 'city girl' and I'm a feral hippy. It was fun, we didn't really 'break up' but it just petered out)

Anyway, she just IMed me, asking how much is a plane ticket to australia... why does she want to know???
coz she's still madly in love with me, cant stop thinking about me and has to see me.

she even said she'd be nice to my DP, though she can't stand him (!)
of course, I had no idea she hated DP, and I didnt know she was so in love with me, even when we were together.

she said she thought I knew, and when she asked me to move in with her it was her way of saying she loves me...

anyway, now (more than a year since i've seen her) she says she's in love with me and wants to come here, and even mentioned having a baby with me.



Seriously, I dont know what to think.

help?
eek.....what are your feelings about her? if its something you don't feel isright because of your dp etc, then be as honest with her as you can.
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#67 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 03:34 PM
 
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You choose to come out yes but IME, this is something you are born with. I realized I was bi when I was 8? Something like that. Anybody else tired of the "choice" comments?
OMG! yes, I am so sick of it, whats worse, is that my FIL is an evangalical pastor of 45yrs.: so I am still closeted pretty much. I don't know if I have and exact age I knew I was bi...... I just always was, but I was in my early teens when I learnt there was a word for it.
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#68 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 03:38 PM
 
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As for me, I've been fuming all night about this:
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/200...WS01/710130053
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/...al_antigay_mil

I live in Lynnwood. I consider it my home town. I've lived in the area my entire life. I've already written a letter to the city and addressed it to every applicable email address I could find, but I'm so outraged that this is happening here that I can't seem to put it to rest long enough to go to bed. Making things worse, I don't know what else to do. I can show up in protest, but I feel like I'd just be egging them on. I'm so sad right now. :
as much as I hate them, I know that we have to give them their chance and right to speak, because if we didn't let them do it, we wouldnt have the freedom to do our own public speaking etc. Me and dh have tryed to explain this to the ultra conservative christians we have known, especially when they complain about howard stern and music blah blah, he reminded them, that if they take stern off because they dont like his content, all christian radio is at risk of being taken off the air as well, because that wouldnt be freedom of speech.

If you can organise a nice little protest then I would go, maybe make it a silent protest with just signs and people gathered together.
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#69 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 03:43 PM
 
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we can even choose our hair and skin colour these days. so of course you're choosing to be bi :

It was lately front-page in news in my area (cant find the article now) that some minister was offering a guaranteed 12-step program cure for gays!
where's the little angry smiley with a baseball bat when you need one??
I have been thinking this over for a few years, and I have noticed with just the Bi side..... there does seem to be a small group that CHOOSE to act/be bi, but mostly for show/attention/to turn guys on. I mean how many new hollywood starlets etc are caught kissing in a nightclub for show/effect.

my dh went to a christian college, and he has known people firsthand who supposedly were "cured" through some of those programs, one for sure was just a down-low gay man instead. And one other married, had kids, and 4 yrs later divorced telling his wife he was gay.
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#70 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 04:39 PM
 
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I have been thinking this over for a few years, and I have noticed with just the Bi side..... there does seem to be a small group that CHOOSE to act/be bi, but mostly for show/attention/to turn guys on. I mean how many new hollywood starlets etc are caught kissing in a nightclub for show/effect.

my dh went to a christian college, and he has known people firsthand who supposedly were "cured" through some of those programs, one for sure was just a down-low gay man instead. And one other married, had kids, and 4 yrs later divorced telling his wife he was gay.
but they're NOT bi- that's the thing. They're CHOOSING to do that for attention not bc they're actually attracted to the same sex. This is the point I tried to make my father see and to him, even if you "act" like you like the same sex, you're bi or gay :
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#71 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 05:42 PM
 
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but they're NOT bi- that's the thing. They're CHOOSING to do that for attention not bc they're actually attracted to the same sex. This is the point I tried to make my father see and to him, even if you "act" like you like the same sex, you're bi or gay :
true, very true. Some people just never get it though. They are so stuck in their men with women only attitude and have never felt any different feelings in their ownselves, that they can't possibly wrap their head around it or open the blinders to try and understand it.
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#72 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 07:24 PM
 
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but they're NOT bi- that's the thing. They're CHOOSING to do that for attention not bc they're actually attracted to the same sex. This is the point I tried to make my father see and to him, even if you "act" like you like the same sex, you're bi or gay :
EXACTLY!!!! :

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#73 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 07:33 PM
 
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okay... firstly, I'm flattered by ex-gf.
hey, its flattering. somebody loves me. and I'm human. (not to mention deprived in certain aspects of my bi-ness )

secondly, she's a very demanding needy person. I'm not sure I want to get back together with her.
but OTOH, she's GORGEOUS... and fun, and intelligent. and with CURVES

however, if she actually doesnt like DP (and she admitted that she was pretending to like him the whole time we were dating - like 3 months - just so she could be with me) then it poses a problem.

sigh.
I dont know

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#74 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 08:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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as much as I hate them, I know that we have to give them their chance and right to speak, because if we didn't let them do it, we wouldnt have the freedom to do our own public speaking etc. Me and dh have tryed to explain this to the ultra conservative christians we have known, especially when they complain about howard stern and music blah blah, he reminded them, that if they take stern off because they dont like his content, all christian radio is at risk of being taken off the air as well, because that wouldnt be freedom of speech.

If you can organise a nice little protest then I would go, maybe make it a silent protest with just signs and people gathered together.
I struggled with that at first. I am definitely a huge proponent of free speech. I really feel that this goes beyond the scope of just free speech.
This group has been implicated in the death of a man in Sacramento last summer. They are known to preach violence against homosexuals and "homosexualists"-- those that "enable" or are sympathetic to gay people. I don't want these people doing this in my town in the same way I wouldn't want a KKK "conference" in my town. I don't see how it's any different, except that it's bashing gay people, which is still more accepted than bashing black people. If that's the position my city is going to take, then I really don't want to live here anymore.

It's definitely not about religion or even impeding on their right to hold a belief. It's about allowing them to congregate HERE to preach hatred about a whole group of mankind.

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#75 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 08:30 PM
 
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#76 of 137 Old 10-16-2007, 09:39 PM
 
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It's definitely not about religion or even impeding on their right to hold a belief. It's about allowing them to congregate HERE to preach hatred about a whole group of mankind.
but if they couldnt congregate to do their stuff, we couldnt have gay pride parades etc. It really does suck that they spread hate, and certain members have commited crimes, that i hope are dealt with accordingly, but it is part of free speech and the constitution for them and us to be able to congregate about anything, even hating the president (even though the president likes to try and squelch it)
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#77 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 01:59 PM
 
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Hi, bi-mom of 2, closeted for most part, 37 year old. I am out to my dh but it is not an open relationship. Unfortunately I have fallen for a friend of mine who is bi and single. We got really close and then we both sort of fell apart and haven't been spending much time together due to the danger of it all. It hurts a lot to not have her as part of my life but it's the way it has to be or I will be cheating on my family. So anyhow, just need to talk to others to help me deal with these feelings.
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#78 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 03:43 PM
 
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Hi, bi-mom of 2, closeted for most part, 37 year old. I am out to my dh but it is not an open relationship. Unfortunately I have fallen for a friend of mine who is bi and single. We got really close and then we both sort of fell apart and haven't been spending much time together due to the danger of it all. It hurts a lot to not have her as part of my life but it's the way it has to be or I will be cheating on my family. So anyhow, just need to talk to others to help me deal with these feelings.
talk away, we are here to support you.
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#79 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 08:16 PM
 
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Hi, bi-mom of 2, closeted for most part, 37 year old. I am out to my dh but it is not an open relationship. Unfortunately I have fallen for a friend of mine who is bi and single. We got really close and then we both sort of fell apart and haven't been spending much time together due to the danger of it all. It hurts a lot to not have her as part of my life but it's the way it has to be or I will be cheating on my family. So anyhow, just need to talk to others to help me deal with these feelings.

to the thread!
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#80 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 09:47 PM
 
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Yipee a place where I actually belong

I just wanted to stop by and give a quick intro before I go back to lurkdom. I'm a Mama to 3 homeschooled kidlets, married to the most wonderful and understanding man around and obviously I'm Bi. I'm not really closeted but not really out either. While I have no problems telling people, I also don't volunteer it either.

Big hello everyone.
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#81 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 09:49 PM
 
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elcome I'm sorta the same way, if it comes up in conversation then it does, but i dont run around waving my GLBT flag to show the whole world.
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#82 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 10:01 PM
 
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Hi to all the new mamas!

I had an interesting conversation with my mom this past weekend. She knows I am queer, and she has never acknowledged it, just changes the subject when I bring it up, which I do occasionally. Anyway, she came out and asked me if after I have kids I plan on leaving Shawn for a woman. I said, no, why would I? She said, well you are a lesbian aren't you? So I laughed and told her I had come up with the phrase "lesbian leaning bisexual woman married to a man" then we discussed how its odd that people need labels, and can't just accept people as they are. Then she told me I should put my rainbow sticker on my car (I was telling her how I was concerned about coworkers/family/etc seeing it, and having to deal with them) because I shouldbn't feel afraid, and should not let others intimidate me.

A big change for her, and I was really happy. She's always been pro gay for anyone other than her daughters, so this was nice. We also discussed how I might come out to extended family, so that my cousin whom we think is gay will know he has an ally. We already make a point of bringing up gay issues around him and he seems to ave opened up a bit.
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#83 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 10:20 PM
 
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Hi to all the new mamas!

I had an interesting conversation with my mom this past weekend. She knows I am queer, and she has never acknowledged it, just changes the subject when I bring it up, which I do occasionally. Anyway, she came out and asked me if after I have kids I plan on leaving Shawn for a woman. I said, no, why would I? She said, well you are a lesbian aren't you? So I laughed and told her I had come up with the phrase "lesbian leaning bisexual woman married to a man" then we discussed how its odd that people need labels, and can't just accept people as they are. Then she told me I should put my rainbow sticker on my car (I was telling her how I was concerned about coworkers/family/etc seeing it, and having to deal with them) because I shouldbn't feel afraid, and should not let others intimidate me.

A big change for her, and I was really happy. She's always been pro gay for anyone other than her daughters, so this was nice. We also discussed how I might come out to extended family, so that my cousin whom we think is gay will know he has an ally. We already make a point of bringing up gay issues around him and he seems to ave opened up a bit.
thats so awesome!!! It seems maybe more of her concerns might have been if you were living a lie in your marriage or what your relationship would be like with your husband etc. I'm so glad that you had such a nice experience!
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#84 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 10:26 PM
 
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thats so awesome!!! It seems maybe more of her concerns might have been if you were living a lie in your marriage or what your relationship would be like with your husband etc. I'm so glad that you had such a nice experience!
Maybe. I think its also likely that she finally accepted that I mean it, that I am attracted to women and not going through a phase, but mire importantly that that is not a change and the world still turns normally, and I still love my husband. That if I have managed to balance my sexual orientation in my life, that she could stop worrying.
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#85 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 10:52 PM
 
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thats great

I have a gay cousin who came out (in college) and he never knew about me - because I was already married and not "close" with him until we lived near one another post-his-college. I felt bad I could not support him earlier but my gaydar was just not on at family reunions with my younger male cousins who I still think of as five years old although they are far older

I'm having lunch next week with a childhood friend who came out as a lesbian long after I moved away and part of me would like to tell her I'm "in her club" in a way - but how strange would that be? Hi - we were friends in diapers and now we are both in our adult life and you married a woman and I a man but I'd like to tell you that I think of boobies a lot. Yeah - nope. Only if it comes up casually.

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#86 of 137 Old 10-20-2007, 11:39 PM
 
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Hi - we were friends in diapers and now we are both in our adult life and you married a woman and I a man but I'd like to tell you that I think of boobies a lot. Yeah - nope. Only if it comes up casually.
Just say its good to be around someone you don't have to be closeted around, that you don't get the chance very often anymore.
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#87 of 137 Old 10-21-2007, 07:04 AM
 
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Hi to all the new mamas!

I had an interesting conversation with my mom this past weekend. She knows I am queer, and she has never acknowledged it, just changes the subject when I bring it up, which I do occasionally. Anyway, she came out and asked me if after I have kids I plan on leaving Shawn for a woman. I said, no, why would I? She said, well you are a lesbian aren't you? So I laughed and told her I had come up with the phrase "lesbian leaning bisexual woman married to a man" then we discussed how its odd that people need labels, and can't just accept people as they are. Then she told me I should put my rainbow sticker on my car (I was telling her how I was concerned about coworkers/family/etc seeing it, and having to deal with them) because I shouldbn't feel afraid, and should not let others intimidate me.

A big change for her, and I was really happy. She's always been pro gay for anyone other than her daughters, so this was nice. We also discussed how I might come out to extended family, so that my cousin whom we think is gay will know he has an ally. We already make a point of bringing up gay issues around him and he seems to ave opened up a bit.
wow, that's so wonderful!
I love it when things work out like that.
I came out to my parents as a lesbian when I was still a teenager (well, I didnt tell them, I just openly had girlfriends), so they were really happy to hear that i'd married a man and had a baby (honestly, DP could be a devious bikie drug dealer and they wouldnt mind, as long as he has a penis ) but I've never come out as bi. I think they all just assume that I "got over" the phase.
Whatever. I'm not in contact with my family any more, so it totally doesnt matter. But I do love hearing stories of positive 'heart-to-hearts' with family

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Originally Posted by KailuaMamatoMaya View Post
thats great

I have a gay cousin who came out (in college) and he never knew about me - because I was already married and not "close" with him until we lived near one another post-his-college. I felt bad I could not support him earlier but my gaydar was just not on at family reunions with my younger male cousins who I still think of as five years old although they are far older

I'm having lunch next week with a childhood friend who came out as a lesbian long after I moved away and part of me would like to tell her I'm "in her club" in a way - but how strange would that be? Hi - we were friends in diapers and now we are both in our adult life and you married a woman and I a man but I'd like to tell you that I think of boobies a lot. Yeah - nope. Only if it comes up casually.
if it comes up casually...
yeah.
man, I just love that line "I think of boobies a lot" :

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#88 of 137 Old 10-22-2007, 06:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a new one that I'm struggling with over here. Really, it never ends...

So, normally I have the opposite problem than this, so the fact that this is a "problem" is kind of amusing to me. Anyway... how do you deal with someone that more than likely thinks you're gay? Personally, I'd much rather be thought of as gay, at least as opposed to being thought of as straight, and wouldn't have thought that I would ever think this was a problem. But let me explain why it's growing to be a problem. This woman herself is gay. I'm not on any sort of friendship-level with her, but somehow she's only seen the gay parts of me. Erg, I'm totally not explaining this well. Alright, I'll stop being vague. She's a coworker-- knows I read lesbian books, watch lesbian movies, and saw me at a gay-related event. None of this was intentional on my part, it just happened that way. So now I feel like I'm hiding something, because my relationship with my very-male DP has never been brought up. Does that make any sense at all? We don't really talk about our personal lives, so again not intentional on my part, but now I feel supremely weird about not having mentioned him. And if I did, I'd feel weird too, in a different way. Like I was trying to hide something before, when I wasn't. I think I'd just be terribly confusing at that point. It was just coincidental that she happened to see those parts of me without any knowledge of DP, when usually it's the other way around. I guess it doesn't really matter, but it's kind of bugging me for some reason. I think it's just part of the conundrum of considering myself queer, while still being in love with a man. I guess I feel kind of guilty for it. I relate best to her, but I guess I'm afraid that she'll think less of me if she knew I wasn't gay? That sounds pretty dumb to me when I type it out. eh, I don't really know what I'm trying to say. :

Weirdo Mama to amazing Aurelia, age 9 & Ember Roslyn, age 3!
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#89 of 137 Old 10-22-2007, 08:35 AM
 
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bjorker...
that's a toughie.
Well, I guess I dont have anything helpful to say, but I do totally understand how you feel. I've found myself in similar situations.
I wish I could just accept myself as bi and stop feeling guilty for not being a "real" lesbian.

anyway, if this chick thinks less of you for not being gay, then she's so not worthy of your time. Just because you're married to a man does not make you less queer. Don't forget the B in the GLBT sandwich. and dont forget that you are beautiful. not to mention a wickedly wacky rainbow pillow goddess :nana:

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#90 of 137 Old 10-22-2007, 02:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by majikfaerie View Post
anyway, if this chick thinks less of you for not being gay, then she's so not worthy of your time. Just because you're married to a man does not make you less queer. Don't forget the B in the GLBT sandwich. and dont forget that you are beautiful. not to mention a wickedly wacky rainbow pillow goddess :nana:
i agree!!!

i think you should casualling bring it up, and tell her, "i dont want you to get the wrong idea or be misled, so I wanted to be upfront with you. I know you have seen me at "blah blah event", I am not a lesbian, I am actually bisexual. I hope this won't change our freindship, because I really enjoy your company." or something along those lines.
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