Queer TTC November 2007 - Page 13 - Mothering Forums
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#361 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 04:53 PM
 
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"nuts, sad, ugh, etc." Yep, that pretty much covers it!

2happymamas: i wish you the best in your next cycle. i think it's wonderful you're listening to your body. hang in there.

megincl: the only wisdom i can give you is that after my last cycle, i am LESS sure about opks and monitors. someone on this board recommended we try looking at my cervix this cycle, and we actually did. I found it soooo much easier and assuring, and plan to rely on that more than the the others in the future.

scalpel: good luck with all your monster follicles!
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#362 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 04:54 PM
 
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We gotta make this happen. I think my sanity is riding on it.
To the degree that you can, don't let your sanity ride on it. You are more than this.
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#363 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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anyone else planning an IUI around Dec 9th? This month's BFN and ensuing weird . hasn't been so fun (not to mention X spending thxgiving w/her new lover) : Would be great to have a cycle buddy for next month
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#364 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 05:57 PM
 
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To the degree that you can, don't let your sanity ride on it. You are more than this.
Frog, you are so wise. More than just 2HM's need to here this. Thank you for sharing your brilliance and experience with us. It's so easy to let this roller coaster control your life but it's nice to have a voice to tell you you're really driving instead of just being a passenger.

Megin, technically you can get a +OPK and not ovulate.

-Rachel

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#365 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 06:38 PM
 
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I said out loud "oh please oh please" when I saw you were the most recent poster, hoping that you were coming to report a positive test.

I'll hold out hope and send hugs your way no matter. Know that we're thinking of you hear from the "big city" of cambridge....

be well,
megin
I was so touched to read this, megin--thank you for thinking of me with such positive thoughts!

I've been out of town, so haven't gotten a chance to update, but I did start another cycle, so no luck last try, unfortunately. I'm planning to fly out to our donor for the next cycle, so that's exciting if exhausting (I have been travelling a lot for work and otherwise for the last couple of months, with no end in sight until January--sigh. I think I will try to meditate for the whole plane trip next week ).

Thinking of you all with high hopes...
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#366 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 06:42 PM
 
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Hi, I'm in my first TTC 2WW, waiting waiting waiting. did 1 ICI and 2 fresh ones over the thankgiving holiday... julie
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#367 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 06:46 PM
 
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Frog, you are so wise.
I don't know about that, BG, but I have the gift of perspective, a gift for which I did NOT register, and I suspect I could have benefited from being reminded in the throes of ttc that there was more to me than my ability (or inability) to conceive and carry a child.
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#368 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 06:49 PM
 
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No matter how hard it is, I am going to start TTC again on my very next cycle.

We gotta make this happen. I think my sanity is riding on it.
I'm glad you have made a decision you're comfortable with. Take care of yourself. And though easier said than done, don't put all your sanity in one basket. The heartbreak is just too much.

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anyone else planning an IUI around Dec 9th? This month's BFN and ensuing weird . hasn't been so fun (not to mention X spending thxgiving w/her new lover) : Would be great to have a cycle buddy for next month
I expect that I'll be inseming around then but I'm just going the DIY fresh sperm route. We can still be cycle buddies though

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Hi, I'm in my first TTC 2WW, waiting waiting waiting. did 1 ICI and 2 fresh ones over the thankgiving holiday... julie
and good luck :

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#369 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 06:50 PM
 
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I don't know about that, BG, but I have the gift of perspective, a gift for which I did NOT register, and I suspect I could have benefited from being reminded in the throes of ttc that there was more to me than my ability (or not) to conceive and carry a child.
Heh. no one got truly wise from reading a book. Wisdom comes from stress, worry, heartbreak and experience.

How's turtle?

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#370 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 06:57 PM
 
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How's turtle?
She's good. Cooking all sorts of fabulous things for us. We're plotting our next tadpole-creating maneuvers. Details as they're available.

And Ducks? She's well?
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#371 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 07:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Did I mention this all makes me nuts, sad, ugh, etc?
What blows my mind - as well as the mind of a friend of mine who is infertile and has adopted one and is now in the book for #2 - is the number of children who are conceived despite their birth parents not really trying - or not even caring. And I'm not just talking about the effortless pregnancies ("Oh my hubby and I decided to play 'catch the egg' this month and it worked! On the first try!!"), but the kids who are the unintended by-products of having a good time.

Kids of queers (both bio and adopted) and kids who are adopted, in my book, are the most wanted children in the world. Yay us

That balance of wanting a child so much and yet staying sane yourself is so hard to find. My wife said with our first kid that if I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did, she would have forced me to take a cycle off because I was turning into a freak. I didn't know I was such a freak. I like to think that this time I've taken a gigantic breath and am just believing that it will happen when it's meant to happen, but I'm really getting no external feedback on it from anyone since I don't hang a lot with the other moms in my neighborhood and I'm not keeping anyone else really up to date on when we're doing insems, etc except for a few close friends. Even my wife isn't really following my cycles, etc - she just sorta nods when I tell her I've got an insem the next day. (Kind of weird but also kind of nice - it makes me feel like our lives aren't revolving around it, kwim?) We have been having fun arguing about names, though, so I do know that she is looking very forward to #2.

baby_baby_mommy I should (?) be insem'ing around that time - my body is never 100% predictable but that's about my window, I think. Happy to be your buddy

hey snoopy do you wanna be included on the list on the 1st page?

2happymamas wow, it sounds like you're really be moved from within on this one. Way to listen to your gut. Good luck and may your conceiving the next baby be just as easy it was for Tina on the L Word (with, of course, none of the relationship drama...)

Every time I read what frog writes I think "wow... I wish I were that deep and insightful." ("What is art?... who am I?")

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#372 of 384 Old 11-28-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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Okay, for better or worse, I'd like to be moved to Waiting to Know :

I made the trip to Chicago Monday night and we insemmed that night. The next day things still looked good so we waited until the evening to do the last vial. My temp rose a little today, and fingers crossed that it rises again tomorrow to confirm the O.

I'm so glad I found this forum...the advice and wisdom here is just priceless. I've been talking quite a bit with a good friend of mine who is currently pregnant, but hers was of the hetero "oops" variety, so she doesn't have much advice for me until I'm actually pregnant.
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#373 of 384 Old 11-29-2007, 11:35 AM
 
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Snoopy13

Jen, I totally agree with you. I think our children (LGBTQ Kids) are so intentional it's ridiculous how much we want them, how much we've planned for them, and how much time, energy, care, emotions, and money we put into conceiving them. Lucky kiddos, I'll say! But with that said it does make sanity a little difficult at times.

astraphell and eveyone else in the 2ww - coming at ya!

I did create a Taking a Break from TTC - Dec thread in the TTC forum for those interested I would love for you to come join me. I thought we needed a place that was just ours to talk about what we're doing with our time now that we're not all-consumed, to organize our goals if we have them, and to share our similar experiences. I WILL still be over here and posting just as much as always and sending out , :, and to those that need them and to keep track of all the BFP's we are going to get in Dec!

-Rachel

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#374 of 384 Old 11-29-2007, 07:23 PM
 
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Temp down again today. Looks like pos OPK with no ovulation.

What tests should we be considering?

We have new insurance through school now, so it means a new doc. I have to figure out all the stuff as the pregnancy manager, so tell me what I need to ask for!!!!

thanks!
megin

ps -- ugh.

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#375 of 384 Old 11-30-2007, 12:58 PM
 
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I expect that I'll be inseming around then but I'm just going the DIY fresh sperm route. We can still be cycle buddies though



and good luck :
baby_baby_mommy and MujerMamaMismo, I'll be insemming then too, if all goes according to plan (follicles, flights, child care... ). DIY fresh this time, between 12/6-12/10.
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#376 of 384 Old 11-30-2007, 10:25 PM
 
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Hey Jen!

Can I please be moved to waiting to know.

This was our second month trying and we did 2 IUI's (Wed and Thurs). Last month we had issues with the sperm count only being 6.2 mil and 9 mil. This month we changed donors, this one is from New England. Our first IUI he had a post washing count of 2.2 mil (i cried) and for the 2nd IUI we had them use 2 vials, so his count was 12.6 mil.

I looked at several different banks and they all have about the same guarentee, 15 mil for ICI samples. Is there something we should be looking for when choosing a donor that we are missing?? : What I wouldn't give for someone with a 10-20mil count in 1 sample!!

Thanks!!
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#377 of 384 Old 11-30-2007, 11:59 PM
 
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Ok, just have to briefly come back to queer space... as I often do, I read Burtsgirls post very incompletely, and didn't see that the thread about taking a break was in the TTC forum, not the queer parenting forum. I was a little surprised at how many straight folks were posting, but I didn't think much of it until I came back to queer parenting to try to find the thread... I finally went back to BurtsGirls post and did the more careful reading that DW teases me about not doing. Alas, it was indeed in TTC. And boy, it makes me realize how different the issues are for straight folks. I think taking a break is very different in queer parenting... usually having different reasons, and the bottom line is you don't have the goods on hand any old time, so you have to be resourceful!

Katie, DW to Megin, Mamma to Quinn (7y.o.) and Wylie, born 07-04-10
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#378 of 384 Old 12-01-2007, 12:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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travelgirlz for some reason I already had you in the waiting to know column -

Speaking of columns and lists and teams etc tomorrow is the 1st of December - does anyone want to take over keeping the thread? I'm happy to do it but if someone's hankering to do it, I'm also happy to hand over the reins...

So my son is sick and either he has his grandma's cold that she went home with on Monday or he's coming down with the chicken pox. either way it should be a delightful weekend. :

I think this whole waiting to ovulate thing is harder than waiting to find out if you're pregnant! UGH! Let's go, ovaries!

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#379 of 384 Old 12-01-2007, 12:58 AM
 
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Hey Jen!

Can I please be moved to waiting to know.

This was our second month trying and we did 2 IUI's (Wed and Thurs). Last month we had issues with the sperm count only being 6.2 mil and 9 mil. This month we changed donors, this one is from New England. Our first IUI he had a post washing count of 2.2 mil (i cried) and for the 2nd IUI we had them use 2 vials, so his count was 12.6 mil.

I looked at several different banks and they all have about the same guarentee, 15 mil for ICI samples. Is there something we should be looking for when choosing a donor that we are missing?? : What I wouldn't give for someone with a 10-20mil count in 1 sample!!

Thanks!!
Don't worry about the guarantee- before you place the order, ASK about the count for the available vials for each donor you're considering. I use TSBC, which guarantees 20 million, but it wasn't until I started specifically asking when I called that I got a donor with the high numbers. The bank will tell you- just ask them! Also, in 6 cycles, I conceived twice, and both times it was numbers over 40 million. If the bank you're using won't give you a post-thaw count, switch banks. This is important information and you have the right to know BEFORE you buy.

Good luck!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#380 of 384 Old 12-01-2007, 09:26 AM
 
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Speaking of columns and lists and teams etc tomorrow is the 1st of December - does anyone want to take over keeping the thread? I'm happy to do it but if someone's hankering to do it, I'm also happy to hand over the reins...

December thread is here.
I figure since we're not pursuing swimmers or temps or anything just now, it's a good time for me to host.
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#381 of 384 Old 12-03-2007, 12:08 PM
 
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Kids of queers (both bio and adopted) and kids who are adopted, in my book, are the most wanted children in the world. Yay us
Just so you know, I had my first before I came out of the closet, and he was a big surprise, but I love him with all my heart, and he is very wanted. When I found out I was preggers, even though I had broken up with the "father", I was very excited and looking forward to having my baby. I put a lot of effort and consideration into the pregnancy and birth. I know you aren't trying to be mean, but please choose your words more wisely in this respect. That hurt my feelings.

placenta.gifeat.gif I'm a queer / trans-activist / poly / pagan / (dis)abled  / crazy / crunchy partner to fsonj; we're mamas to our unschooled/freeskooled 10yo, and co-breastfeed our sprightly toddler love.gif born Nov '10! (Ask me about how to supplement at the breast!)

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#382 of 384 Old 12-03-2007, 03:38 PM
 
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Kids of queers (both bio and adopted) and kids who are adopted, in my book, are the most wanted children in the world. Yay us
This kind of sentiment has never really made sense to me. And I've heard it several times--not trying to single you out Jen! But who's to say that any one child is more wanted than another, regardless of who the child's parents are? Every single parent I know, regardless of sexual orientation or biological status has very wanted children.

My dw and I certainly weren't "wanting" to have twins before I got pregnant. And it worked out perfectly in the end and we certainly want them now, but even with queer pregnancies, you can't plan everything. Dw was rather ambivalent about having a third child, and while she certainly loves him to death now that he's here, and she was supportive of me along the way, she would have been quite happy to just have the two kids. So to say that our third baby was among "the most wanted children in the world" would be false, at least in regards to my dw's feelings before the pregnancy.

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#383 of 384 Old 12-03-2007, 07:38 PM
 
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Kids of queers (both bio and adopted) and kids who are adopted, in my book, are the most wanted children in the world. Yay us
I agree with you Jen.

My partner and I went on an rfamily cruise and it was life changing. It was amazing to hear the stories of what some people were willing to sacrafice to have children. Others went through months of emotional ups and downs in efforts to have bio kids. The stories that moved me the most were those of gay men who were trying to have bio children with a surrogate; these men were spending upwards of $100,000 to become fathers.

I understood Jen's statement to be that these were children that didn't just happen after one lucky evening, these children were planned. They came from sacrafice and effort. You can really say that for all children. While I would not discredit anyones "wanting" of their children, I took this to mean the before the child arrived, not after it arrived, of course they were wanted once they were here.

terese
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#384 of 384 Old 12-03-2007, 11:30 PM
 
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I understood Jen's statement to be that these were children that didn't just happen after one lucky evening, these children were planned. They came from sacrafice and effort. You can really say that for all children. While I would not discredit anyones "wanting" of their children, I took this to mean the before the child arrived, not after it arrived, of course they were wanted once they were here.

terese
Yes, but there are *many* more straight couples who struggle with infertility (and thus have very planned pregnancies) than there are queer parents all together! I mean, if queers are only 5% of the total population, what percentage of parents are queer? I live in a really queerly-populated place, and there are a ton of lesbian families here (not so many gay dads), but I'm guessing that overall, we are a small minority.

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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