Queer TTC December 2007 - Page 11 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#301 of 369 Old 12-21-2007, 05:51 PM
 
baby_baby_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: four rooms
Posts: 390
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just want to write, in case anyone on the list lurking or anyone dropping in to read has bipolar disorder or any other mental health issue, that you are welcome here and that I believe the negative talk around here lately has to do with those who are not receiving treatment for their mental health issues. I fully support those who have chosen not to have toxic people in their lives, whether those toxic people have a medical disorder or not. I also want to support those here or dropping in who have mental health issues and who are dealing with them in a positive way.
baby_baby_mommy is offline  
#302 of 369 Old 12-21-2007, 06:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
frog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: where footprints dance in the snow
Posts: 9,229
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't mean to pan folks with mental illness. I deal with depression, myself, and have a complex PTSD diagnosis, for what it's worth.
frog is offline  
#303 of 369 Old 12-21-2007, 06:19 PM
 
snoopy13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: new england
Posts: 114
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i can confirm that my mom is not under any treatment for her mental health issues, although treatment is frequently and unfortunately not very helpful for people dealing with borderline stuff. i certainly don't want anyone to feel unwelcome. i also know that people are not generally born borderline -- they are made that way through terrible abuse -- and my venting about my mother and concerns about how it has and will affect my family does not capture the tremendous sadness i feel for what she's had to deal with. i wish there was a place that she felt welcome and where she could get the support she could benefit from.
snoopy13 is offline  
#304 of 369 Old 12-21-2007, 08:22 PM
 
Hulahoop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i know it's almost the end of the month, so sorta a moot point, but could i be moved to waiting to know tomorrow? Gonna do a last-minute home insemination tonight before we leave for Mexico!
Hulahoop is offline  
#305 of 369 Old 12-21-2007, 08:36 PM
 
Twylightdove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 132
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Snoopy: As a child of an unstable mother my heart goes out to you and yours. I understand the particular pain involved in trying to decide how much to involve an unstable parent with your future child. My mom was reasonably stable during my growing up but had a breakdown suddenly when I was 17. It was like all of the trauma of her childhood finally caught up with her. After that she was never the same. She refused to seek treatment for almost 13 years. During that time I estranged myself from her and agonized over what I would do about future children. She was too unstable and her life too chaotic for me to feel safe spending more than an hour with a kid. But I knew she would be completely thrilled to be a grandmother and love the kid completely. I always hoped she would get treatment and then it would be easier to find a middle ground. I never had to make that decision. She committed suicide two years ago. I'm still working on the guilt I feel over feeling relieved that I don't have deal with that problem anymore. But I know now more than I every knew when she was alive that it would have been completely right to severely limit her access to my child. A lot of the abuse that happened to her as a kid continued way after discovered because the abuser was "family." As parents we should never feel guilty for protecting our children from unhealthy situations.

I'm sorry that is was kind of a downer post but I wanted to put it out there for support of other people who's lives are effected by the mental illness of others.

On the positive side (and addressing baby_baby_mommy's post), I am a very well managed chronic depressive. I work very hard to stay stable. I'm off meds while I ttc and plan on staying off to breastfeed (hopefully for a good long time). I have a whole collection of coping skills that I pull from when I have a depressive cycle. With the up and down of ttc it does make things more challenging but I'm making my way though. I'm more than happy to talk more about any of this if people want to PM me.

Queer poly family trying since October 2006. Currently using a known donor and no medical interventions.
Twylightdove is offline  
#306 of 369 Old 12-21-2007, 08:48 PM
 
snoopy13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: new england
Posts: 114
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Twylight Dove: Thank you so much for sharing your story. You write about it so powerfully and clearly, it's really helpful to me though i am so sorry you have had to experience the loss of your mother in multiple ways. It's great that you are doing well with coping skills without meds during TTC, that's really inspiring.

JD
snoopy13 is offline  
#307 of 369 Old 12-22-2007, 01:30 AM
 
JenInMpls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: wishing I had it all together
Posts: 3,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wanted to say that all of you who are dealing with mental health issues with your folks are very inspiring. You must be very strong. I am lucky to have a mom who is solid as a rock. My wife's dad was a depressive alcoholic and committed suicide in 1995. For my dp it wasn't so much getting over the guilt and sadness of his death but the anger at his siblings who didn't do anything even after she warned them that he needed their help (she was in the middle of finals and she also felt that he needed support from more than her).

I just can't imagine dealing with mental health issues/illnesses of the grandparent with a grandchild in the mix. I will count myself blessed in that regard, I guess.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
JenInMpls is offline  
#308 of 369 Old 12-22-2007, 03:11 AM
 
JenInMpls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: wishing I had it all together
Posts: 3,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just watched my WHOLE "L Word" Season 4 disc 3 DVD

was really fnarkin' therapeutic!!!!!

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
JenInMpls is offline  
#309 of 369 Old 12-22-2007, 11:28 AM
 
simplelah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hate waiting to know. Can I test yet?

Thankfully the holidays will keep me busy this 2ww.

I want to test on NYE but it will be 12DPO. Too soon?
simplelah is offline  
#310 of 369 Old 12-22-2007, 05:55 PM
 
baby_baby_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: four rooms
Posts: 390
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by simplelah View Post
I hate waiting to know. Can I test yet?

Thankfully the holidays will keep me busy this 2ww.

I want to test on NYE but it will be 12DPO. Too soon?

Tough to answer! If you are okay with seeing a BFN, then sure, why not test? Some folks find it hard to see a BFN, even if it's just too early for the BFP that's coming to show up yet. I thought I'd be fine with seeing early BFNs, but admittedly it is hard to see! I think it depends on how long your LP is, too. For example, some ppl get their . at 12dpo, so for them it's not so early. Is that enough of a non-answer?

I'd pretty much written myself out for this month (coming to the end of the 2ww), but for some reason today I have renewed hope.
baby_baby_mommy is offline  
#311 of 369 Old 12-23-2007, 11:30 AM
 
JennM1021's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OK...I'm officially waiting to O again. AF came this morning with a vengance...and early at that. I knew it was a long shot...try #1...but you just have to be hopeful and optomistic. So, it's a bummer. But...we're on to planning next month and I'll hopefully be just as optomistic!

Good luck to all those still 2ww!!!

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
JennM1021 is offline  
#312 of 369 Old 12-24-2007, 08:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
frog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: where footprints dance in the snow
Posts: 9,229
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just a reminder that we need a January threadkeeper--please post here if that's you!

:
frog is offline  
#313 of 369 Old 12-24-2007, 12:16 PM
 
simplelah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are we going to have ANY December BFPs??

Oh and I'd love to be a MAYBE for Thread Keeper. Let me make sure all of the kinks with my internet are worked out. If not, could someone else take it on?
(My home net just got moved to the new place but it isn't working... ew)

Still resisting the urge to test. It's too soon. It's a waste of a test. I don't feel pregnant. I just feel... :Puke

My "it could be my period or I could be pregnant" syptoms of the day:
Sore (like hot coals in my bra) boobs= I never get this way.
Tired = It could just be all of the running around like a crazy person getting ready for the Holidays OR it could be a symptom.
Spotting = I get this before my period, but usually much closer to it. This was on like 5DPO and very very faint. Usually I get spotting 2-3 days prior to my period and it's darker. Weird.
Did I mention the sore boobs? = Holy cow. I want to dieeeeeeeeeee!

I will wait to test. Maybe.
simplelah is offline  
#314 of 369 Old 12-24-2007, 12:28 PM
 
lemurmommies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: ON everyday, but PQ in my heart
Posts: 1,865
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by simplelah View Post
Oh and I'd love to be a MAYBE My "it could be my period or I could be pregnant" syptoms of the day:
Sore (like hot coals in my bra) boobs= I never get this way.
Tired = It could just be all of the running around like a crazy person getting ready for the Holidays OR it could be a symptom.
Spotting = I get this before my period, but usually much closer to it. This was on like 5DPO and very very faint. Usually I get spotting 2-3 days prior to my period and it's darker. Weird.
Did I mention the sore boobs? = Holy cow. I want to dieeeeeeeeeee!
The "hot coals in my bra" feeling was how I knew I was pregnant even before I got to 14 days DPO. It was such a strange and totally out-of-the-ordinary feeling for me that I was just sure. And I was right. Here's to hoping for a BFP!!!

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
lemurmommies is offline  
#315 of 369 Old 12-24-2007, 02:19 PM
 
simplelah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemurmommies View Post
The "hot coals in my bra" feeling was how I knew I was pregnant even before I got to 14 days DPO. It was such a strange and totally out-of-the-ordinary feeling for me that I was just sure. And I was right. Here's to hoping for a BFP!!!
I hope so (and I hope this feeling passes soon, owww!). Now I've gone from thinking "it probably isn't this month but it would be great if it was" to "oooh i have to be pregnant!"

Sigh. I will not test. It's far too soon. 7 days.
That isn't too long, right?
simplelah is offline  
#316 of 369 Old 12-24-2007, 02:20 PM
 
Scalpel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: midwest
Posts: 438
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dp has really sore boobs however she always gets them since weve been using follistim so its hard to say if its real hormones or the injected ones........I think we will test tomorrow morning for fun and maybe a surprise?

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
Scalpel is offline  
#317 of 369 Old 12-24-2007, 06:04 PM
 
simplelah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd love to take over thread keeper. Internet at home is UP AND RUNNING!

YAY!
simplelah is offline  
#318 of 369 Old 12-25-2007, 05:22 PM
 
tiggerkong22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 54
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Feeling blue today because I am ovulating 3-4 days earlier than usual and because of Christmas, I was planning on ordering sperm tommorow. Now, I have to wait another month, but I guess everything happens for a reason. Just needed to get that out. Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday.
tiggerkong22 is offline  
#319 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 11:53 AM
 
Scalpel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: midwest
Posts: 438
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
WE DID IT!!!!! My dp tested on christmas and we got a very clear . (11dpo)
We tested again this morning and another positive result. This has truly been the best christmas ever. I am still on cloud 9 and can't believe it. I dont want to get overly excited because its still so early but we've never gotten a positive past day 8 before so we are happy.

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
Scalpel is offline  
#320 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 12:31 PM
 
pranava's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 933
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Scalpel - I'm so happy for you!!!! :

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

pranava is offline  
#321 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 01:35 PM
 
BurtsGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: SC, USA
Posts: 2,303
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Scalpel - CONGRATS!!!! That is so great! WOO HOO! : :

We are done with our break and I'm on CD4 now. Ultrasound set for Jan 3rd.
Frog could you please move me to Waiting To O

-Rachel

BurtsGirl is offline  
#322 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 01:51 PM
 
simplelah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
CONGRATS!

Finally, someone broke the December curse.





PS: I broke down and tested yesterday. BFN but I have hope. It is still too soon to tell. Testing on NYE.
simplelah is offline  
#323 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 04:29 PM
 
travelgirlz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 46
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congrats Scalpel!!

That makes for an unforgetable christmas!! I am so glad we finally got a BFP in December!! :

Can I please be moved to waiting to know We did our iui this morning and had good numbers and I am thinking we had the timing a bit better. Here's hoping, as we are testing on my wife's birthday!! What a perfect gift!
travelgirlz is offline  
#324 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 04:44 PM
 
KnittingTigers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,704
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: : Congratulations Scalpel!!! : :

What wonderful, wonderful news! I'm so happy for you and your DP, and am sending lots of sticky baby thoughts your way!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

KnittingTigers is offline  
#325 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 04:56 PM
 
katharinerose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Tacoma, WA
Posts: 254
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
First: Congratulations Scalpel! Merry Christmas to you!

Second: As we now have the swimmers in deep freeze quarantine, can I be added to the Waiting to be Ready list? First insem should be in July, with first test just about on our 4 year wedding anniversary.

Living with my DW, ourcat.gifAstrid, my mom and dad, and their dog and cats, too.  Hoping to start TTC with my OSO as baby-daddy soonish!

katharinerose is offline  
#326 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 04:57 PM
 
Scalpel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: midwest
Posts: 438
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you all so much....yes I am glad to break the curse too haha...thanks for the sticky vibes. Good luck to all and I hope for many January BFP's!!!!

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
Scalpel is offline  
#327 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 05:01 PM
 
JenInMpls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: wishing I had it all together
Posts: 3,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
congrats scalpel

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
JenInMpls is offline  
#328 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 07:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
frog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: where footprints dance in the snow
Posts: 9,229
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scalpel View Post
WE DID IT!!!!! My dp tested on christmas and we got a very clear . (11dpo)
We tested again this morning and another positive result. This has truly been the best christmas ever. I am still on cloud 9 and can't believe it. I dont want to get overly excited because its still so early but we've never gotten a positive past day 8 before so we are happy.
frog is offline  
#329 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
frog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: where footprints dance in the snow
Posts: 9,229
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think I've gotten all of the updates to here--please PM me if I missed you!

frog is offline  
#330 of 369 Old 12-26-2007, 07:51 PM
 
MujerMamaMismo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: Congrats Scalpel! That's wonderful news and such a lovely Christmas gift!

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

MujerMamaMismo is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off