Queer TTC December 2007 - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-21-2007, 06:51 PM
 
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I just want to write, in case anyone on the list lurking or anyone dropping in to read has bipolar disorder or any other mental health issue, that you are welcome here and that I believe the negative talk around here lately has to do with those who are not receiving treatment for their mental health issues. I fully support those who have chosen not to have toxic people in their lives, whether those toxic people have a medical disorder or not. I also want to support those here or dropping in who have mental health issues and who are dealing with them in a positive way.
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Old 12-21-2007, 07:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I didn't mean to pan folks with mental illness. I deal with depression, myself, and have a complex PTSD diagnosis, for what it's worth.
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Old 12-21-2007, 07:19 PM
 
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i can confirm that my mom is not under any treatment for her mental health issues, although treatment is frequently and unfortunately not very helpful for people dealing with borderline stuff. i certainly don't want anyone to feel unwelcome. i also know that people are not generally born borderline -- they are made that way through terrible abuse -- and my venting about my mother and concerns about how it has and will affect my family does not capture the tremendous sadness i feel for what she's had to deal with. i wish there was a place that she felt welcome and where she could get the support she could benefit from.
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Old 12-21-2007, 09:22 PM
 
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i know it's almost the end of the month, so sorta a moot point, but could i be moved to waiting to know tomorrow? Gonna do a last-minute home insemination tonight before we leave for Mexico!
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Old 12-21-2007, 09:36 PM
 
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Snoopy: As a child of an unstable mother my heart goes out to you and yours. I understand the particular pain involved in trying to decide how much to involve an unstable parent with your future child. My mom was reasonably stable during my growing up but had a breakdown suddenly when I was 17. It was like all of the trauma of her childhood finally caught up with her. After that she was never the same. She refused to seek treatment for almost 13 years. During that time I estranged myself from her and agonized over what I would do about future children. She was too unstable and her life too chaotic for me to feel safe spending more than an hour with a kid. But I knew she would be completely thrilled to be a grandmother and love the kid completely. I always hoped she would get treatment and then it would be easier to find a middle ground. I never had to make that decision. She committed suicide two years ago. I'm still working on the guilt I feel over feeling relieved that I don't have deal with that problem anymore. But I know now more than I every knew when she was alive that it would have been completely right to severely limit her access to my child. A lot of the abuse that happened to her as a kid continued way after discovered because the abuser was "family." As parents we should never feel guilty for protecting our children from unhealthy situations.

I'm sorry that is was kind of a downer post but I wanted to put it out there for support of other people who's lives are effected by the mental illness of others.

On the positive side (and addressing baby_baby_mommy's post), I am a very well managed chronic depressive. I work very hard to stay stable. I'm off meds while I ttc and plan on staying off to breastfeed (hopefully for a good long time). I have a whole collection of coping skills that I pull from when I have a depressive cycle. With the up and down of ttc it does make things more challenging but I'm making my way though. I'm more than happy to talk more about any of this if people want to PM me.

Queer poly family trying since October 2006. Currently using a known donor and no medical interventions.
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Old 12-21-2007, 09:48 PM
 
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Twylight Dove: Thank you so much for sharing your story. You write about it so powerfully and clearly, it's really helpful to me though i am so sorry you have had to experience the loss of your mother in multiple ways. It's great that you are doing well with coping skills without meds during TTC, that's really inspiring.

JD
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Old 12-22-2007, 02:30 AM
 
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I just wanted to say that all of you who are dealing with mental health issues with your folks are very inspiring. You must be very strong. I am lucky to have a mom who is solid as a rock. My wife's dad was a depressive alcoholic and committed suicide in 1995. For my dp it wasn't so much getting over the guilt and sadness of his death but the anger at his siblings who didn't do anything even after she warned them that he needed their help (she was in the middle of finals and she also felt that he needed support from more than her).

I just can't imagine dealing with mental health issues/illnesses of the grandparent with a grandchild in the mix. I will count myself blessed in that regard, I guess.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-22-2007, 04:11 AM
 
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I just watched my WHOLE "L Word" Season 4 disc 3 DVD

was really fnarkin' therapeutic!!!!!

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-22-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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I hate waiting to know. Can I test yet?

Thankfully the holidays will keep me busy this 2ww.

I want to test on NYE but it will be 12DPO. Too soon?
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Old 12-22-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by simplelah View Post
I hate waiting to know. Can I test yet?

Thankfully the holidays will keep me busy this 2ww.

I want to test on NYE but it will be 12DPO. Too soon?

Tough to answer! If you are okay with seeing a BFN, then sure, why not test? Some folks find it hard to see a BFN, even if it's just too early for the BFP that's coming to show up yet. I thought I'd be fine with seeing early BFNs, but admittedly it is hard to see! I think it depends on how long your LP is, too. For example, some ppl get their . at 12dpo, so for them it's not so early. Is that enough of a non-answer?

I'd pretty much written myself out for this month (coming to the end of the 2ww), but for some reason today I have renewed hope.
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Old 12-23-2007, 12:30 PM
 
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OK...I'm officially waiting to O again. AF came this morning with a vengance...and early at that. I knew it was a long shot...try #1...but you just have to be hopeful and optomistic. So, it's a bummer. But...we're on to planning next month and I'll hopefully be just as optomistic!

Good luck to all those still 2ww!!!

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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Old 12-24-2007, 09:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just a reminder that we need a January threadkeeper--please post here if that's you!

:
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Old 12-24-2007, 01:16 PM
 
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Are we going to have ANY December BFPs??

Oh and I'd love to be a MAYBE for Thread Keeper. Let me make sure all of the kinks with my internet are worked out. If not, could someone else take it on?
(My home net just got moved to the new place but it isn't working... ew)

Still resisting the urge to test. It's too soon. It's a waste of a test. I don't feel pregnant. I just feel... :Puke

My "it could be my period or I could be pregnant" syptoms of the day:
Sore (like hot coals in my bra) boobs= I never get this way.
Tired = It could just be all of the running around like a crazy person getting ready for the Holidays OR it could be a symptom.
Spotting = I get this before my period, but usually much closer to it. This was on like 5DPO and very very faint. Usually I get spotting 2-3 days prior to my period and it's darker. Weird.
Did I mention the sore boobs? = Holy cow. I want to dieeeeeeeeeee!

I will wait to test. Maybe.
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Old 12-24-2007, 01:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simplelah View Post
Oh and I'd love to be a MAYBE My "it could be my period or I could be pregnant" syptoms of the day:
Sore (like hot coals in my bra) boobs= I never get this way.
Tired = It could just be all of the running around like a crazy person getting ready for the Holidays OR it could be a symptom.
Spotting = I get this before my period, but usually much closer to it. This was on like 5DPO and very very faint. Usually I get spotting 2-3 days prior to my period and it's darker. Weird.
Did I mention the sore boobs? = Holy cow. I want to dieeeeeeeeeee!
The "hot coals in my bra" feeling was how I knew I was pregnant even before I got to 14 days DPO. It was such a strange and totally out-of-the-ordinary feeling for me that I was just sure. And I was right. Here's to hoping for a BFP!!!

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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Old 12-24-2007, 03:19 PM
 
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The "hot coals in my bra" feeling was how I knew I was pregnant even before I got to 14 days DPO. It was such a strange and totally out-of-the-ordinary feeling for me that I was just sure. And I was right. Here's to hoping for a BFP!!!
I hope so (and I hope this feeling passes soon, owww!). Now I've gone from thinking "it probably isn't this month but it would be great if it was" to "oooh i have to be pregnant!"

Sigh. I will not test. It's far too soon. 7 days.
That isn't too long, right?
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Old 12-24-2007, 03:20 PM
 
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My dp has really sore boobs however she always gets them since weve been using follistim so its hard to say if its real hormones or the injected ones........I think we will test tomorrow morning for fun and maybe a surprise?

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
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Old 12-24-2007, 07:04 PM
 
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I'd love to take over thread keeper. Internet at home is UP AND RUNNING!

YAY!
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Old 12-25-2007, 06:22 PM
 
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Feeling blue today because I am ovulating 3-4 days earlier than usual and because of Christmas, I was planning on ordering sperm tommorow. Now, I have to wait another month, but I guess everything happens for a reason. Just needed to get that out. Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday.
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Old 12-26-2007, 12:53 PM
 
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WE DID IT!!!!! My dp tested on christmas and we got a very clear . (11dpo)
We tested again this morning and another positive result. This has truly been the best christmas ever. I am still on cloud 9 and can't believe it. I dont want to get overly excited because its still so early but we've never gotten a positive past day 8 before so we are happy.

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
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Old 12-26-2007, 01:31 PM
 
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Scalpel - I'm so happy for you!!!! :

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

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Old 12-26-2007, 02:35 PM
 
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Scalpel - CONGRATS!!!! That is so great! WOO HOO! : :

We are done with our break and I'm on CD4 now. Ultrasound set for Jan 3rd.
Frog could you please move me to Waiting To O

-Rachel

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Old 12-26-2007, 02:51 PM
 
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CONGRATS!

Finally, someone broke the December curse.





PS: I broke down and tested yesterday. BFN but I have hope. It is still too soon to tell. Testing on NYE.
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Old 12-26-2007, 05:29 PM
 
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Congrats Scalpel!!

That makes for an unforgetable christmas!! I am so glad we finally got a BFP in December!! :

Can I please be moved to waiting to know We did our iui this morning and had good numbers and I am thinking we had the timing a bit better. Here's hoping, as we are testing on my wife's birthday!! What a perfect gift!
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Old 12-26-2007, 05:44 PM
 
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: : Congratulations Scalpel!!! : :

What wonderful, wonderful news! I'm so happy for you and your DP, and am sending lots of sticky baby thoughts your way!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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Old 12-26-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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First: Congratulations Scalpel! Merry Christmas to you!

Second: As we now have the swimmers in deep freeze quarantine, can I be added to the Waiting to be Ready list? First insem should be in July, with first test just about on our 4 year wedding anniversary.

Living with my DW, ourcat.gifAstrid, my mom and dad, and their dog and cats, too.  Hoping to start TTC with my OSO as baby-daddy soonish!

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Old 12-26-2007, 05:57 PM
 
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Thank you all so much....yes I am glad to break the curse too haha...thanks for the sticky vibes. Good luck to all and I hope for many January BFP's!!!!

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
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Old 12-26-2007, 06:01 PM
 
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congrats scalpel

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-26-2007, 08:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
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WE DID IT!!!!! My dp tested on christmas and we got a very clear . (11dpo)
We tested again this morning and another positive result. This has truly been the best christmas ever. I am still on cloud 9 and can't believe it. I dont want to get overly excited because its still so early but we've never gotten a positive past day 8 before so we are happy.
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Old 12-26-2007, 08:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I've gotten all of the updates to here--please PM me if I missed you!

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Old 12-26-2007, 08:51 PM
 
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: Congrats Scalpel! That's wonderful news and such a lovely Christmas gift!

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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