Queer TTC December 2007 - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-09-2007, 09:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JenInMpls View Post
OvuQuick is a very sensitive OPK. Hard to find in ordinary drug stores, can sometimes find at clinic pharmacies, easiest to find on the internet, cheapest at americarx.com (which I have found through lots of looking and price comparison).
Thanks again for the info. I'll definitely look into those if this one doesn't take. I'm wondering specifically about HPTs too, though. Does anyone have any recommendations for particularly sensitive ones?

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Originally Posted by kk_davey View Post
I never got a single positive OPK, but I got pregnant fine. FF said that it means you have a fast peak then drop. But I was even testing twice a day and still nada. Must be a VERY fast peak! Fortunately for me my temps were textbook so I could go from them. Else I woulda' been up sh*t creek because my CM is bollocks. Doesn't do anything like what it should.

Anyway, the only definite sign that you've ovulated is the temp rise after. Since the OPKs use the LH surge before ovulation it's possible to get the surge but not ovulate. But it's not possible to get the post-O temp rise without ovulating. Useful for hindsight but not so useful for planning insems around!
Well, that does make me feel a bit better, thanks! I'm sure I actually ovulate because I have a definite temperature shift. My first cycle I was doing the tests two or three times a day and dehydrating myself as per instructions. This month I was a bit more lax about it, so it definitely could have happened quickly when I wasn't testing.

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Originally Posted by sprout's futuremom View Post
Af just arrived. So, i guess that means we won't be trying until prob. March. due to financial reasons. We are going to meet with a known donor that is a friend of a friend, but even if that works, it would take a couple of months to create a contract and make sure everyone s comfortable.

I just feel like such a failure, that if I were different this would have already worked. In my saddest moments, I feel like it's a sign from the universe that I would be a lousy parent. I know that's completely not true for anyone else that it is taking a while for, so I know it's flawed thinking. I guess I'm just really sad.

Good luck to everyone who is still in the tww.
So sorry to hear that, Sprout. I have a pretty big tendency toward negative thinking, and take most of the blame on myself. My partner (the therapist!) tries to get me to do some positive thinking, but it's really hard when you feel so out of control of your own body. Be sad, but try not to let it consume you. (I know, easier said than done.)


As for my own progress, I'm on the roller coaster every day in this 2ww. I've had days with lots of crazy symptoms, and days with practically nothing. I've been really emotional yesterday and today, but I usually get sad and irritable just before AF starts. I'm 11DPO right now and got a BFN yesterday and today. I should be seeing AF on Tuesday or so, if this isn't the month. I'm actually really hopeful that this is it, but I'm so scared of getting my hopes up and having them crushed. Sigh...
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Old 12-09-2007, 09:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I still haven't found the words to talk about why we want to be parents, but number of kids/spacing I can do. We'd love to have three over the course of maybe 8 years.

I've got a brother and turtle has a sister and we really want our kids to have sibs, as well as for their children, should they have them, to have the possibility of first cousins. My brother and I were raised closely with three of our cousins and it's been a huge blessing.
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Old 12-09-2007, 11:06 PM
 
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I've always wanted to have children and treasure the opportunity to give someone else a chance at life.

On a related note, I have a question re sperm #s for all of you well-versed: are the #s you talk about for the sperm before it's frozen and before it's washed? I'm assuming you can't know the unthawed #s 'til you unthaw it yourself or have someone else do it, yes? Thx!
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Old 12-09-2007, 11:50 PM
 
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On a related note, I have a question re sperm #s for all of you well-versed: are the #s you talk about for the sperm before it's frozen and before it's washed? I'm assuming you can't know the unthawed #s 'til you unthaw it yourself or have someone else do it, yes? Thx!
I use The Sperm Bank of California (TSBC), and they will give you a post-thaw count before you buy. I think that for every batch they freeze, they set aside a small bit, freeze it, and then thaw it, so they can tell you the numbers for each vial. So yes, the numbers you get are in fact the numbers after it has been frozen and thawed again. I've discovered that not all banks do that, and I have to say, it's made me a huge fan of TSBC. As I've said here before, for me, sperm count made a difference.

Hope that helps!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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Old 12-09-2007, 11:58 PM
 
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Mine are post-thaw #s but I am doing insems at a clinic.

Astraphell sorry for the repeat info, I wasn't sure which tests you were talking about so I erred on the side of redundancy As for pregnancy tests I would gather that if your period doesn't show up and you're getting suspicious, a blood test at the dr or midwife would be the most sensitive... although when I got pregnant with my son, the clinic told me that they don't have anything that's really much more sensitive than what's on the market. So I don't know, but I am sure that someone here does

I have felt nauseated all day but I'm trying really hard to not put a lot of stock in it since I am also awfully sick with a cold and am eating a lot of cough drops, which is putting a lot more sugar into my system than it's used to. Still, with both pregnancies (first one chemical, 2nd with my son), I was starting to feel queasy about 5 dpo... and it's 4 dpo today. We'll see.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-10-2007, 01:11 AM
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seeing as though our "taking a break" thread got over run with people wishing they were taking a break I've abandoned it--Thanks anyway Rachael--you tried

so here is my update on my taking a break:

The most frustrating part has been that despite the fact that I haven't insemed this month my "early pregnancy symptoms" have continued...yup ALL of them. I have had consistent morning nausea, heightened sense of smell, and in came the sore boobies today!! Hmmm...my hope is that when I get back to TTC I will understand these to be normal human experiences NOT signs that I ma pregnant

I have an appt with a fertility OB/GYN this Thursday. Moll has agreed to go with me, just to show him that we are a force to be reckoned with. My biggest fear is that I will be bowled over and will be talked into a whole slew of western medicine interventions that I don't want at this point--so yeah Moll is my back-up. We're just gonna meet him and tell him that we want a dye test and we want to figure what is going on with my ovulation.

Oh yeah update on my wacky adventures in Ovulation--check this:
I took 22 OPKs (FTM Papa--you're my inspiration) and here is what I learned--I got my first "possible" positive on CD 14 I continued to get "possible" positives all CD 15 and CD 16--it was ta that point that I consulted Peeonastick.com where I found out that the Answer strip can only be considered positive when more than 50% of the test line is darker then the control. This new info made my first "actual" positive until CD 16. These "actual" positives continued all day CD 16, got slightly darker CD 17, and the morning of CD 18 was the DARKEST OPK line I have ever seen!!!! CD19 and CD20 test were negative.

What the heck does all this mean!!???? Peeonastick.com says that if ovulation doesn't happen then LH can continue to surge one on top of another?? and maybe I just gave up by CD18?? Or maybe I didn't actually ovulate until CD18 and all those other tests were not really positives??

Either way this is a big time info!! As the instructions say I have always tested until I got my positive and then I've stopped testing for that cycle and it is clear that many things occur after I get my first positive OPK. huh?? I should've known better then to read and trust directions huh???

ETA--oh yeah so even if I am happily ovulating on CD 18? I have NEVER insemed later then CD 15--I have insemed anywhere between2 days before predicted O, day of positive OPK and a few times day after positive OPK, so if I don't ovulate until 3 days after my last insem, even with fresh that might be greatly reducing my odds

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:10 AM
 
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KJM-- I feel ya' on the taking a break thread. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was annoyed by that! I have to say, though, it was a bit refreshing, if just for a few days, to have a predominantly straight forum be dominated by queer posts.

Like you, I have used some of my previous taking a break cycles to notice some aspect of my cycle that I had been using as evidence of pregnancy that are really just normal cyclical symptoms. For example, this summer, when I was CERTAIN I was pregnant, I kept getting these pulling sensations in my uterus. I was worried (since I had already had 2 miscarriages) that it was somehow indicating a possible miscarriage. Then the next cycle when we were not inseminating, I got to notice the exact same pulling feeling about 5-7 DPO, showing me that this is totally normal, and I don't have to freak out about it when we do insem...

In terms of how I"m doing with my list of what I said I'd do on the break...I think I"m doing a decent job of taking care of DW. I think that's good for both of us.

Katie, DW to Megin, Mamma to Quinn (7y.o.) and Wylie, born 07-04-10
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Old 12-10-2007, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The most frustrating part has been that despite the fact that I haven't insemed this month my "early pregnancy symptoms" have continued...yup ALL of them. I have had consistent morning nausea, heightened sense of smell, and in came the sore boobies today!! Hmmm...my hope is that when I get back to TTC I will understand these to be normal human experiences NOT signs that I ma pregnant.
That was a huge learning experience for me, too. There was one cycle in particular after we quit ttc where I was charting and I had a TEXTBOOK "pregnant" chart. I was participating in The One Thread at the time and made all of them look at it. I'm not sure they were that pleased with me.

ETA: It's the July 19, 2007 cycle, if you're dying to know.
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Old 12-10-2007, 01:08 PM
 
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Yea it looks like our thread just wasn't meant to be. Oh well. KJM I'm so glad your learning a lot over your break. That's definately a BIG find. Have you thought of charting for a month? I've had quite a few very personal epiphanies myself.

We went hiking yesterday. Yep, two weeks before xmas and we're hiking in 70 degree weather! It was much needed. As for my list of goals, I'm still not charting which I am thoroughly enjoying. I'm getting close to where I normally O and I have been tempted to just temp to see when I O but I'm not gonna. I haven't read anything baby-related outside this thread. I got the dye test. I haven't gotten that massage yet but I'm thinking maybe before the insem early next month would be a good time to get one. I have been trying to take better care of DW and it's really helping our relationship. I didn't realize just how much I was taking from her while we were trying (this was one of the realizations). It's nice to be able to give some of that back.

Hope everyone is getting ready for the holidays! Good luck to those in the TWW!

-Rachel

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Old 12-10-2007, 01:12 PM
 
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How kewl are the new smilies!! : : : : : : : :

-Rachel

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Old 12-10-2007, 01:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yea it looks like our thread just wasn't meant to be.
You know, you might try starting it in the Queer Parenting forum. I suspect it would take, here, since "taking a break" has a very different meaning for us.
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:02 PM
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:
What is that supposed to be??

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What is that supposed to be??
Naked wizard?
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:04 PM
 
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seeing as though our "taking a break" thread got over run with people wishing they were taking a break I've abandoned it--Thanks anyway Rachael--you tried
Let's start a new Taking A Break thread here - taking a break is very different for queers.

I'm still on my break - and I've been really absent lately, not just from MDC, but from my life in general.

I had a car accident just before US thanksgiving, and I totalled my poor purple maxivan of wonder, and there were assorted complications and I am now carless, so I'm moving out of my rural apartment where there is no bus service and into Northampton, to live with my two sweet boyfriends.

Life is a little complicated. My break may be a little longer than previously thought.

to AngelaM though! I'm very excited to hear the news!

Keely - sounds like you've discovered something very important - OPKs are cheap, and fun to pee on. But, more importantly, it may mean you've been a little hasty on the insems and there may be nothing the matter at all. Have you tried charting temps?

The OPKs really don't tell you if you're Oing, they just tell you that you have enough hormones to O - and sometimes it doesn't happen, for unexplained reasons. I wish there was an easier way to confirm ovulation, because you could just start inseminating when fertile mucus shows up, or at the first possible OPK, and then keep going until you know for sure. Have you thought about that? Since you're using free-flowing sperm, inseminating every two days from +OPK for many days?

I'm tired of being on a break, anyone else? I'm gonna go start that thread. . .

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:16 PM
 
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This one's me :

I must be getting old or something, every year winter seems colder and less enjoyable to me...

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This one's me :

I must be getting old or something, every year winter seems colder and less enjoyable to me...
Dude, you're in the Twin Cities. You have EVERY RIGHT to be chilly. Sheesh!

(I'm a St. Kate's alumna.)
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:24 PM
 
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Naked wizard?
Intentionally ironic baby dust? I would like to see one of a dusty baby getting shaken off or something. . . no more fairy and her magic wand!



This one is my favourite - though it's not new, it's realistic! :Puke

And geeks, represent! :

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:48 PM
 
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What is that supposed to be??
Good Vibes. Like: I'm sending : your way.

-Rachel

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Old 12-10-2007, 02:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've added a link to Queer Taking a Break from TTC to the opening post of the thread.
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Old 12-10-2007, 03:02 PM
 
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Good Vibes. Like: I'm sending : your way.
In the context of this thread I like to think of it as the magical bearer of "all-you-can-use/need" sperm.

:
megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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Old 12-10-2007, 03:04 PM
 
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Good Vibes. Like: I'm sending : your way.
I'm seeing more of "I'm putting a spell on you."

Accio embryo?</harry_potter>

Personally I think I need to investigate the google ad for "insane frog ringtone". Good stuff pops up with a threadkeeper named frog who smells sane.

frog: I was *almost* a st kate's alumna but was moved at the last moment to go to the U. Something about coming up with $9000 tuition per year after a work-study job. I was accepted and everything. Thought that having the same last name as one of the res halls was a good sign, but alas. Still I don't think I have much of a right to be : when it's 20 degrees! That's nothing!!

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-10-2007, 03:05 PM
 
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In the context of this thread I like to think of it as the magical bearer of "all-you-can-use/need" sperm.
ooooo I LIKE that!

-Rachel

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Old 12-10-2007, 03:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ifrog: I was *almost* a st kate's alumna but was moved at the last moment to go to the U. Something about coming up with $9000 tuition per year after a work-study job. I was accepted and everything. Thought that having the same last name as one of the res halls was a good sign, but alas.
Can you hear me cruising through the res halls in my brain, trying to figure out your last name?

I loved my time at CSC--it was VERY much the right decision for me, even with the debt I incurred! It's not for everyone, though, that's for sure! I'll be in town in June for my 15-year reunion. We should meet up!
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Old 12-10-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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Thx to those who responded re sperm count #s. I'm frustrated b/c our KD's fresh count was completely awesome (got pg with those high #s, no problem) but the frozen isn't as much, in part b/c they've divided each sample into 2 - 3 separate vials and they only use 1 vial per IUI I feel like having words with the clinic but maybe that's just what they do and I should be fine with a low motile # after they divide the specimen in 2 or 3, freeze it, thaw it, and wash it?
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Old 12-10-2007, 05:43 PM
 
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: it DOES look like someone zapping a lot of swimmers! I think we have to co-opt that for our own purposes here.

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Can you hear me cruising through the res halls in my brain, trying to figure out your last name?
you go right ahead. Small first year residence near the library.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-10-2007, 06:04 PM
 
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Hello all...newbie here. I am so glad to have found this site! And most of all to see that I am not the only one out there who obsesses over TTC! Wow...what a crazy (and wonderful) process. Well...like many of you...I am currently TTC...and it's driving me absolutely nuts!! I just need to try to stay away from the internet as much as possible right now...because I'm obsessing over looking up all there is to know about the process...my odds of conceiving...and what to do/not to do. Wow...I'm stressing just thinking about it. It's also difficult to read all the..."i've been trying for 6 months...a year...two years" stories and not feel a bit discouraged. Although...I have no reason to be...I just started myself. But...I'm one of those people. I need to have control over everything...and this is one thing I can only have so much control over. So..tell me...how do you other control freaks handle this??? We charted for a couple of months...and just gave it our first try this weekend. I got my positive 'surge' on Saturday and we inseminated Saturday and Sunday using frozen sperm. Sooo....I'm only at the beginning of my two weeks of torture!

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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Old 12-10-2007, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome, Jenn!
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Old 12-10-2007, 06:29 PM
 
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JennM

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So..tell me...how do you other control freaks handle this???
From a self-id'ed control freak. Everyone handles this process differently but I would suggest to stay close to your partner and friends, come here to let everything out, blogging or journaling can also help and is a great record of the process, be kind to your body and control what you know you can control- outlook, eating habits, exercise, meditation, stress management, etc.

Good luck and sending : and to you during your wait. (Yea, I had to use it, I just LIKE it.

-Rachel

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Old 12-10-2007, 06:53 PM
 
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Thanks for the advice! I think having a place like this to come to and just get everything out going to be very helpful.

Thanks for the welcome!!

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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Old 12-10-2007, 07:31 PM
 
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Jenn from another Jen (with just one less 'n' but hey that's good - people can tell us apart that way )

I find this thread to be a real sanity saver because you can come here and analyze and pick apart and claim that every little thing is a symptom of pregnancy and people are just like "heck yeah! : to you!" which is a lot nicer than people who tell you that you're just imagining it. People here are patient and tolerant and understanding of the crazy-making and just plain positive and don't tell you to stop being a freak... because we're all freaks in this business, I'd say!

Anyway, welcome, I'm in the 2ww too...

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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