Queer TTC December 2007 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 09:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks to JenInMpls for keeping last month's thread!

September Queer TTC can be found here

October Queer TTC can be found here

November Queer TTC can be found here

Queer Taking a Break from TTC is here.


:A Rainbow of options!:

Waiting to O
BurtsGirl
JennM1021
mahrens77
JenInMpls
Twylightdove
tiggerkong22
2happymamas

Waiting to O on a day when swimmers can actually be shipped
Zyla

Waiting to Know... Braving the 2WW
pranava
mhiccup
travelgirlz
Hulahoop
tigermiep
snoopy13
simplelah
simcon
baby_baby_mommy
Amigone
Sugerson
Cookie70

Waiting to Implant
starling&diesel

Taking a Break
MujerMamaMismo
astraphell
osker
Sprout's futuremom
FtMPapa
kjm
ktcl (and DP megincl)
QTRANDI
Sugersen

Waiting to be Ready
katharinerose
knit_grrly
Coco99
matchterr
lemurmommies
wannabemoms
frog
erthe_mama

Waiting to be healthy / WTF is going on with my Body?
whoop whoop we like it when this column is empty!

December BFP
: Scalpel :


November BFP!!!

mamimapster
AngelaM
solejean
lmh222 (actually was a BFP in September, but hey! it's a queer BFP! Let's celebrate!)
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#2 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 11:15 AM
 
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*curtsy* my pleasure.

I'm hoping for a super Christmas present - just like in 2003!

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#3 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 12:13 PM
 
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thx for being threadmistress, frog here's to lots of BFPs this month!
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#4 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 01:00 PM
 
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frog -- thanks for doing this! can't wait to hear the witticisms and wisdom that you impart as threadkeeper.

megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#5 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 03:35 PM
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thanks for hopping on this frog--sorry I couldn't resist

so in the spirit of tackless self-promotion here, tomorrow is my 31st birthday. I need extra love and support as last year (on my 30th) I vowed to turn my back on cigarettes and booze, coffee and all other forms of self abuse. I made a commitment to Moll and the spirit that is to become our baby. I promised I would prioritize getting healthy, getting better and loving myself more in order to prepare for motherhood. I hoped that by this time this year I would be ready to start trying-- And being the dutiful dyke I am I hopped on that FAST and got all my ducks in a row, and started 6 months early

All this said tomorrow is my birthday and according to my OPKs my date of Ovulation...Damn Damn Damn--there are a handful of reasons why we cannot inseminate tomorrow but it is still really really hard.

I'm gonna enjoy my lady, take a soak in an outdoor hot tub during the predicted snow storm and love my freedom, but I'll probably still be a bit sad and ill-adjusted

so please friends, I shamelessly beg for you kind words, poetic wisdoms and endless encouragement

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#6 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 04:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kjm View Post
thanks for hopping on this frog--sorry I couldn't resist

so in the spirit of tackless self-promotion here, tomorrow is my 31st birthday. I need extra love and support as last year (on my 30th) I vowed to turn my back on cigarettes and booze, coffee and all other forms of self abuse. I made a commitment to Moll and the spirit that is to become our baby. I promised I would prioritize getting healthy, getting better and loving myself more in order to prepare for motherhood. I hoped that by this time this year I would be ready to start trying-- And being the dutiful dyke I am I hopped on that FAST and got all my ducks in a row, and started 6 months early

All this said tomorrow is my birthday and according to my OPKs my date of Ovulation...Damn Damn Damn--there are a handful of reasons why we cannot inseminate tomorrow but it is still really really hard.

I'm gonna enjoy my lady, take a soak in an outdoor hot tub during the predicted snow storm and love my freedom, but I'll probably still be a bit sad and ill-adjusted

so please friends, I shamelessly beg for you kind words, poetic wisdoms and endless encouragement
(one day early...)

: Happy birthday, Keely! :

Girlfriend, you have accomplished SO MUCH in this past year! So, as you're welcoming in the new year, also take the time to congratulate yourself on everything that you've already done. Making your body a healthy habitat, figuring out how to get the process of ttc underway, managing to maintain an awesome loving relationship with Mollie in the process - these are no small feats. And for all of that, I just know that the year ahead is going to be even better.

Have a great day, enjoy that hot tub, and all of the loving people in your life!

xoxo
Angela

P.S. You know, I actually ovulated and inseminated on my birthday this year, and was convinced that I would get pregnant just off of the symbolism alone. As you know, it didn't happen. I was crushed at the time, but now, it really doesn't matter. Take the day for yourself and the community you already know and love. Strengthening these things is the best way to welcome in that new life, which is going to find you before you know it.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#7 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 06:00 PM
 
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I just o'd a couple days ago so I'm in the horrid 2ww. Can I be moved to waiting to know? I'm due to bleed on the last day of Hanukkah (Dec 11th) so I'm hoping for something better than Hanukkah gelt this year! (Hanukkah gelt are chocolate coins use to play dreidle.)

If not this time then I'll be due to insem again on Christmas, an issue since our donor is Christian. Also, my partner's mom will be visiting that week and doesn't know we are using a kd now. I really hope I don't have to deal with those logistics!

Queer poly family trying since October 2006. Currently using a known donor and no medical interventions.
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#8 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 09:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Can I be moved to waiting to know?
It is done.
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#9 of 369 Old 12-01-2007, 09:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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frog -- thanks for doing this! can't wait to hear the witticisms and wisdom that you impart as threadkeeper.
Heh. No pressure!
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#10 of 369 Old 12-02-2007, 11:58 AM
 
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Hi all,

thanks kmj for helping me find this thread. Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 33 year old dyke ttc since march 07 with frozen sperm. I have been with my amazing partner for 11 years. This is our 6th try, the first three were home inseminations with frozen sperm. We will be taking a break if this one doesn't work for financial reasons, which will be really sad if that happens.

I'm in the dreaded tww, now 8 days past insemination. I'm trying to be calm about it all, but am pretty obsessive.

Anyway, thanks for welcoming me, and good luck to all.

ps. frog, i love your blog. sorry not much of a poster though...
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#11 of 369 Old 12-02-2007, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome, Sprout's futuremom. And thanks for the nice comment about frogblog.

May your stay here be short and productive!
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#12 of 369 Old 12-02-2007, 08:37 PM
 
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Happy birthday, kjm!

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Originally Posted by sprout's futuremom View Post
Hi all,

thanks kmj for helping me find this thread. Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 33 year old dyke ttc since march 07 with frozen sperm. I have been with my amazing partner for 11 years. This is our 6th try, the first three were home inseminations with frozen sperm. We will be taking a break if this one doesn't work for financial reasons, which will be really sad if that happens.

I'm in the dreaded tww, now 8 days past insemination. I'm trying to be calm about it all, but am pretty obsessive.

Anyway, thanks for welcoming me, and good luck to all.
Good luck! :
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#13 of 369 Old 12-02-2007, 08:56 PM
 
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May the battles, laughs and loves of the year gone give you the strength to make your 32nd year the best (and most fertile) yet.

: Happy Birthday:

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#14 of 369 Old 12-02-2007, 10:59 PM
 
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Keely,

Happiest of birthdays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Been thinking of you today. Hope you're getting some peaceful snow out there too.....

be well,
megin (and katie and quinn!)

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#15 of 369 Old 12-02-2007, 11:39 PM
 
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Very, very, very happy birthday think of how much your body thanks you that you have given up so many things that toxify it! I especially commend you on the quitting smoking; my wife quit as soon as I got pregnant and I know what a battle that is and probably continues to be. So BIG KUDOS to you.

Hope your baby's right time is SOON!

jen

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#16 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 12:18 AM
 
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I am taking this month off, financially we need a break and traveling plans make it difficult for our kd. We do have it set to fly him up to us in January...hopefully that makes all the difference!

Happy Birthday to Keely! I have always loved that name - a friend from college - wonderful person that never judged anyone! Enjoy the month without the 2ww!

To all others trying this month... ...for you! I know I do not post much, but I try hard to keep up with the many different lives...
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#17 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 12:47 AM
 
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Hi everyone I think I've posted here before, or maybe just read. I'm in the middle of my Tww and going insane!
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#18 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 11:00 AM
 
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Frog- thanks for the new thread!

KJM- : HAPPY Birthday!!! know I'm late but I hope you had a wonderful birthday surrounded by those that love you. DW and I gave up smoking 3 yrs (in Jan) ago. It not easy but we both feel so much better for it. You are such an amazing person, Keely and I hope your day was just as amazing!

Sprout's futuremom -

Angela- How is pregnancy treating you, mama?

Katie- (from the Nov thread) You're certainly right about our situations being different from hetro couples when we take a break. They can "have an accident" on a break, we can't. Sorry there was a mix up but I hope you'll continue to post over there also. I put the thread there because I thought it would be bigger with more people accessing it.

Those in the 2WW- :

I've scheduled my HSG Dye test for Thursday and I'm scared to death. They told me to take 4 advil and their going to give me a valium in the hopes that I won't have another vagal response.

This weekend was nice and relaxing for us. DW got a new truck and we took it for a spin up to the mountains. We also made and canned homemade soups for xmas gifts this year. They were yum-o! Hope to see lots of BFP's come out of this thread!!!

-Rachel

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#19 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 12:15 PM
 
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Burtsgirl -- Good luck with the dye test... I'm : for you to not get another vagal response.

placenta.gifeat.gif I'm a queer / trans-activist / poly / pagan / (dis)abled  / crazy / crunchy partner to fsonj; we're mamas to our unschooled/freeskooled 10yo, and co-breastfeed our sprightly toddler love.gif born Nov '10! (Ask me about how to supplement at the breast!)

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#20 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 12:53 PM
 
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erthe_mama from the Nov thread: I stand by what I said. I know plenty of mamas who get pregnant without trying and are shocked but thrilled. My good friend got knocked up after a bender the evening of a bad court case brought against her by her ex bf, and she loves her daughter with all of her heart, and it's blatantly obvious to me that there is nothing more important to her than her daughter.

What I said was that the kids of glbtq folks (and children who are adopted) are the most wanted. Perhaps I should have added on the words "before we get pregnant with them", maybe I should have said "are conceived with the most intention", but that leaves out the folks who adopt. At any rate, I still believe that is true. Before we conceive our kids, we desperately want them and many of us have to really work to conceive them. Many of us change how we live and care for ourselves long before we ttc, and a great number of us empty our bank accounts and go into debt just for the want of a baby. I did not mean that all other kids conceived by straight folks are not wanted - even those that are surprises - but you have to admit, there are a lot of people out there who get pregnant who weren't planning on it and - yes - don't want to be. And of course they, too, end up loving their kids. Another friend of mine got pregnant while using 2 forms of BC and her first words upon seeing those two lines were "F* F* F*ITY F*!!". And now she has two children and loves them more than life itself. But when she got pregnant, she really wasn't planning to, and she wasn't happy about it at first. And this is just what I find ironic: when women get pregnant without trying and without wanting to while we are struggling like crazy just to get that BFP and want it more than anything else, so much so that it makes us crazy.

And it still does get me - no, in fact it breaks my heart - to see the number of children out there whose parents don't really want them and just tolerate them when there are so many of us who are trying to get pregnant and struggling and going broke to do so. It is a strange, strange world in that regard. I believe that children come to us - not just randomly but are meant to come to the right person/people at the right time - that is my spiritual belief and whatever anyone else wants to believe is just fine by me - but it makes me wonder what the h* is going on cosmically when a child is born to a woman who doesn't give a damn about it when there are so many people who want children so badly. That I will never understand.

I am sorry that you were hurt by what I said, that was not my intention. I hope you can see the angle I was coming from.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#21 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 02:56 PM
 
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happy belated birthday, KJM. Since TTC'ing (the past four months), I've quit caffeine and soda and cut way back on alcohol, and that alone has been super hard. I've heard that quitting smoking is the hardest of all--so good job! it's amazing you've done all that!

Welcome, sprout's futuremom. I'm newish here, too, and am very happy i came out of lurkdom. this board is saving my (and my partners') sanity this 2WW.

burtsgirl, best of luck at your dye test. sounds like your doctor is taking your situation seriously and doing everything they can to make the process as easy as possible. sometimes i think that's half the battle!

thinking good thoughts for everyone....
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#22 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 08:28 PM
 
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Driving 32 hrs and working 20 in 4 days time is not much fun, so I'm glad to be back home Well, today's O day, but with no insem - kind of depressing. I am happy to report that the Vitex seems to be changing my cycle for the better. I had a stronger + OPK this month than ever before, and I have EWCM today. Normally I get EWCM 5, 4, and 3 days prior to O, then I dry up. So things look promising for next month.

Happy belated B-Day KJM! :

Good Luck BurtsGirl!! I hope all goes smoothly

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

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#23 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 08:42 PM
 
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Happy happy big big 31st (?) birthday kjm! I hope you soaked up your health, happy love with Molly and all birthday and happy related things!

I hope the taking a break thing didn't eat in to your day too much. If you think that you could still be back there on the wild side of life, with no aspirations for a family and a hangover every other day, or you could be where you are now, living a healthy, true existence with someone you love, and thinking about your future family, I don't think it's hard to choose. Even with all the trials and tribulations of ttc. It's a privilege to be in a position to be even trying. That's how I felt anyway, given my history. And I couldn't believe my life was such that a man wanted to give me his sperm and two people wanted to start a family with me.

Re the kids of glbtq folks (and children who are adopted) being the most wanted. My experience with this was that my twin sister (whose straight) got pregnant accidentally, while I obviously had to plan it and go through all the temp charting etc etc. Our attitudes to the first trimester were so amazingly different. For her, it was this idea that was sprung on her, and she was adjusting her future plans to cater for. She wasn't at all paranoid about miscarrying in the first trimester because, although it would have been sad, she would have gone back to her original plans for her immediate future. Obviously the longer she carried the baby the more she became attached, but in the first weeks. For me, it was my future plan. So I spent my first trimester (of which I'm now nearing the end) in utter paranoia. We talked about this difference, and how it stemmed from her surprise pregnancy and my planned pregnancy.

Of course now her son is her life. But I don't think that's what Jen's trying to say at all. There's no judgement being made on how mothers love their kids. Just the difference in the intention and initial stages.
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#24 of 369 Old 12-03-2007, 10:06 PM
 
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How long should you temp before ttc? We just started temping and were curious how long we should wait before we start? Not sure how long it takes to see a good pattern. Suggestions?? Thanks!
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#25 of 369 Old 12-04-2007, 12:24 AM
 
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Re the kids of glbtq folks, etc

It's still a generalisation. Although I respect your opinion about it.

Also, I had always wanted a baby before I got pregnant. It was unintentional at the time it happened, but it was still a very exciting time. And yes, I did worry that I would miscarry (I'd done so twice before that). I'm not trying to downplay your experiences or the time and effort you put into ttc'ing, but it just doesn't seem fair to judge who wanted their kid more than who. Kwim?

placenta.gifeat.gif I'm a queer / trans-activist / poly / pagan / (dis)abled  / crazy / crunchy partner to fsonj; we're mamas to our unschooled/freeskooled 10yo, and co-breastfeed our sprightly toddler love.gif born Nov '10! (Ask me about how to supplement at the breast!)

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#26 of 369 Old 12-04-2007, 12:36 AM
 
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Ok so I've been trying not to get my hopes up too much but i can't deny how incredibly sore my breasts have been for the past four days. When I say sore I mean SORE! Like hot pokers going right into the nipples. I know, lovely imagery right? FF says I'm 5DPO right now but I'm wondering what you all think. How do I link my chart here for you to see?
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#27 of 369 Old 12-04-2007, 12:44 AM
 
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I am not judging. I am marveling at what I see as a strange, ridiculous irony. And gosh, I thought I could at least say it here where I am surrounded by other people who are trying as hard as I am to get knocked up, where we are all walking in similar shoes, if not the same.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#28 of 369 Old 12-04-2007, 12:56 AM
 
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Angela- How is pregnancy treating you, mama?
Hey, I'm back lurking! Pregnancy is... actually, kind of terrifying. It's funny, I spent sooo long trying to get pregnant, and now that it's happened, I feel sort of emotionally shell-shocked. (I've just started blogging about it- there's a link in my signature.) I think that part of the problem is that I'm afraid to get my hopes up in case something goes wrong again, so instead of being excited, I'm just sitting around with all of my fears and anxieties. Not so fun. And man these hormones make me cry all of the time!

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I've scheduled my HSG Dye test for Thursday and I'm scared to death. They told me to take 4 advil and their going to give me a valium in the hopes that I won't have another vagal response.
Fingers crossed that it's a safe and productive experience! I have several friends who've gotten pregnant in the cycle following the HSG. I'll be thinking of you!

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Originally Posted by pranava View Post
Driving 32 hrs and working 20 in 4 days time is not much fun, so I'm glad to be back home Well, today's O day, but with no insem - kind of depressing. I am happy to report that the Vitex seems to be changing my cycle for the better. I had a stronger + OPK this month than ever before, and I have EWCM today. Normally I get EWCM 5, 4, and 3 days prior to O, then I dry up. So things look promising for next month.
Hey Pran, good to hear from you, and I'm glad you're safely back home after all those travels! Here's hoping the Vitex does the trick, and that you're all set for a fertile next cycle!

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How long should you temp before ttc? We just started temping and were curious how long we should wait before we start? Not sure how long it takes to see a good pattern. Suggestions?? Thanks!
Matchterr, I started charting three months before my first insemination, but the first month of charting was kind of a bust, so I wish I'd started a month or so earlier. Of course, by the time all was said and done, I charted nine months, and quite frankly, I never want to take my temperature again, especially not at 6:30 in the morning. I'm sure you've read lots about charting, but these are the two things that made a big difference to me- a good thermometer, and a consistent wake-up time. I'm a big fan of the BD Flexible Tip Rapid Response thermometer (and I own six other brands, so I've definitely done some comparison shopping...). It gave me the most consistent readings. The first month, I charted with a CVS brand "basal" digital thermometer, and I thought I was having an anovulatory cycle, my temps were so crazy! Also, take it at the same time every day, even if you just wake up for a minute, take your temp, and roll over and go back to sleep.

The other thing that I found really helpful was using a speculum to look at my cervical opening. I didn't start doing this until after I had started inseminating, and it was such good information that I really wished I'd started sooner. Brill's Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, etc. has good instructions on to look at your cervix if you haven't done it before.

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Originally Posted by astraphell View Post
Ok so I've been trying not to get my hopes up too much but i can't deny how incredibly sore my breasts have been for the past four days. When I say sore I mean SORE! Like hot pokers going right into the nipples. I know, lovely imagery right? FF says I'm 5DPO right now but I'm wondering what you all think. How do I link my chart here for you to see?
Ooh, good luck! Both of my pregnant cycles included sore breasts at 4 to 5 dpo! Fingers crossed!

And to everyone else, much baby dust!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#29 of 369 Old 12-04-2007, 10:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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matchterr, I've been charting for something like three years, pretty much all the time. I think I'd charted for just over a year when we tried for the first time. It's not necessary, but I liked having the data.
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#30 of 369 Old 12-04-2007, 11:21 AM
 
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Thanks for the well wishes and support for Thursday everyone!

Quote:
Originally Posted by matchterr View Post
How long should you temp before ttc? We just started temping and were curious how long we should wait before we start? Not sure how long it takes to see a good pattern. Suggestions?? Thanks!
I charted around 7-8 months before we started inseming. I'll second Angela's advice on temping consistantly and at the same time every morning. I have my own *special* alarm clock on my side of the bed that's just for me to roll over, stick the them. in my mouth, wait for beep, write down temp, roll back over, sleep. I also agree with frog it's not necessary to temp for X number of months but the data is nice to have as a comparision.

Quote:
Originally Posted by astraphell View Post
Ok so I've been trying not to get my hopes up too much but i can't deny how incredibly sore my breasts have been for the past four days. When I say sore I mean SORE! Like hot pokers going right into the nipples. I know, lovely imagery right? FF says I'm 5DPO right now but I'm wondering what you all think. How do I link my chart here for you to see?
Astraphell, that is so exciting!! To link your chart when you post to the thread there is a button with a World symbol and a chain link on it. Highlight the text you want to link. Then click the button. Copy and paste your chart link into the box and hit ok. Make sure your using your homepage from FF and not the page you logged into.

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Originally Posted by pranava View Post
Driving 32 hrs and working 20 in 4 days time is not much fun, so I'm glad to be back home Well, today's O day, but with no insem - kind of depressing. I am happy to report that the Vitex seems to be changing my cycle for the better. I had a stronger + OPK this month than ever before, and I have EWCM today. Normally I get EWCM 5, 4, and 3 days prior to O, then I dry up. So things look promising for next month.
Good Luck BurtsGirl!! I hope all goes smoothly
Pran, Wow what a schedule you have, sister. What do you do that requires such travel? I'm so glad I'm not the only one with this EWCM problem. I get the good stuff 1-2 days before O and then dry up. So glad the vitex is working well for you, next month is so our month!

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Originally Posted by AngelaM View Post
Hey, I'm back lurking! Pregnancy is... actually, kind of terrifying. It's funny, I spent sooo long trying to get pregnant, and now that it's happened, I feel sort of emotionally shell-shocked. (I've just started blogging about it- there's a link in my signature.) I think that part of the problem is that I'm afraid to get my hopes up in case something goes wrong again, so instead of being excited, I'm just sitting around with all of my fears and anxieties. Not so fun. And man these hormones make me cry all of the time!
Awe, That baby is so sticky it's not even funny but I can see how your feeling a little worried. I'm sure everything is going to be just perfect and your little cub will be with you right on time. *off to read your blog!*

-Rachel

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