Mother's Maiden Name (or is it Mothers'?) - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 8 Old 01-10-2008, 07:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all -
I'm just currious how it works when someone official asks for your kid's mother's maiden name for identity verification? (I was asked about myself by the bank and it occured to me to wonder about DS!)
Do the banks and what-not use something objective or is it self-reported? (ie do they look at a birthcert or do they ask you when you sign up and just go for consistency?) So - which mother would they use? Neither of us changed our names, so our current last names are our maiden names, which seems like it's less helpful as a security/identity precaution. Also, DS has a hyphenated last name - so his last name has both of his mothers' maiden names... also, not so helpful to verify identity. DS came into our family by adption and we do know his birthmom's maiden name, so I suppose we could use that, but we don't have an ongoing 2-way relationship with her so that might be odd. And, the way adoption works, she's not on his birthcertificate anymore, so if it's "objectivally chosen" that wouldn't work.
Anyone know any more about this or have any ideas?
Thanks!
Cyndi
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#2 of 8 Old 01-10-2008, 07:51 PM
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I think they just ask as a screener question to be used next time,
Kinda like a pin #?

So I think what is important is that he remember to give the same answer next time---BUt really how old is he??? I would think that this question is become more and more obsolete?? I mean, maybe it *used* to be secretive info but even Het couples hyphenate nowadays.

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#3 of 8 Old 01-10-2008, 08:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah - I don't think it will be relevant any time soon - DS is only 2yo. I don't remember when the question started coming up for me... maybe college? I was just thinking about it today and wondered what others thought and are doing.
Thanks!
C
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#4 of 8 Old 01-10-2008, 10:25 PM
 
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You just need to give the same answer every time.

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#5 of 8 Old 01-10-2008, 10:53 PM
 
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LOL! I never give that name, I actually give the name of my first car. I have a bio-mom with long maiden name, and foster mom/partner who both use their maiden names-so which one would I use?
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#6 of 8 Old 01-11-2008, 09:56 AM
 
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My mother doesn't have a maiden name, & I have her surname anyway, so I've always given my dad's surname when they ask for mother's!
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#7 of 8 Old 01-11-2008, 10:00 AM
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I know Bank of America now asks "Mother's maiden name OR password" when doing customer service calls. I have never used my mother's maiden name as a password, because it just reminds me of her father, who was a very bad man. I usually use my paternal grandmother's maiden name, which is German and pretty obscure.

But really, he could use ANY word. He could use "hippopotamus" if he wanted.
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#8 of 8 Old 01-18-2008, 03:07 AM
 
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I'm terribly offended by the concept of 'maiden' names, and I'm manifesting the whole damned thing to be over very, very soon.

I think most banks and such are getting a bit more progressive about this issue.
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