Queer TTC March 2008 - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 08:47 AM
 
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want2bmoms & Tigermiep ((((((((((((((((comfort hug))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry....

Gee, this really IS a rollercoaster ! One that goes really high and reallllly low !

Yesturday (10DPO) I was low, my temp had dropped a bit and tested BFN.... and all day I was extremely emotional and I thought... PMS ? But I dont usually get PMS this bad... now this morning (11DPO) my temp rose back up to the highest its been this month... so I shot back up the rollercoaster ! But I am NOT testing today... maybe tomorrow...

Maybe thats why we end up getting naseous....

Coco
xxx

Celebrating the arrival of our twins twins.gifCharlie & Chloe, born Jan 28th 2011 !

 


 

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#122 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 10:02 AM
 
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Maybe thats why we end up getting naseous....
Totally possible!

I'm thrilled to report that the snowstorm is mostly going to miss us--we'll get a couple inches and it's supposed to push 50 by late next week.

Nothing to report regarding ttc. Still hangin' around, waiting for the egglet.
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#123 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 11:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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tigermiep- I'm right there with you. This sucks... been really crabby the past couple days, so it's been pleasant around here as you can imagine. :

want2bmoms, sorry this cycle didn't work out for you and your wife.

Coco, still holding out hope for you! Your signs sound very positive. :

megin and ktcl, hang in there. Here's some more for you.

2happymomas, I really hope this cycle is the one for you!!!!

frog, I'm glad the snow storm is missing us! I finally got shoveled out from Tuesday in preparation for the 6-8 inches they were calling for, and then today I saw that they cancelled the storm watch. Yay!! I'm waiting not so patiently for warmer weather to get here...

Loving partner to smartycat  ribbonrainbow.gif  . Enjoying life with our DS's- 4/5/09 and 10/29/10 love.gif!  Moms to three dogs and four cats.
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#124 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 11:33 AM
 
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Another BFN this morning. So, we're out for this cycle and really needing to figure out what we'll do next.

Ugh. I feel shut off to emotion at this point, which sucks.

megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#125 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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megin and kt. :

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#126 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 11:41 AM
 
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Well, I might be out for this month.

It's only 10 DPO but I had a temp drop this morning, and I'm having some major cramps. It's strange because my LP is usually 12 days like clockwork. And I almost never get cramps before CD 1 actually arrives. I don't have any spotting yet, but we'll just wait and see what the day brings.

Sucks.
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#127 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 11:44 AM
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Meg & Katie sorry ladies...this stuff sucks sometimes!!
I'm thinking of your family today and sending truck loads of love East on Route 2!!

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#128 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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: to megin, kt, and astraphell.

Thanks, coco and quasar. I'm somewhat more lucid today, but still way under teh weather. I think I'll go curl up on the couch with some tea...

Do you ever second-guess your decision to ttc? Every couple of days, I get nervous that it's not the right time, that I'm too selfish, that there's too many other things I want to do with my life, and that it would be unfair to a child to bring hir into the world when M and I can't be at home to take care of hir all the time... I will get 8 weeks paid leave, and I have up to 3 mos of disability, but we'll have to find childcare, as M will be working 40 - 60 hours a week from march through november, and probably full time in the intervening time...

But the rest of the time, I'm excited to see who is waiting to join our family. we'll be using a different donor this cycle, and I'm hoping he's the one.

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
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#129 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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Well, I can be officially moved to waiting to know. This morning's insem was MONSTROUSLY UNPLEASANT, the doctor said my cervix was very, very anterior and he had to try 3 different specula to see it (no big deal), then had to use a clamp (OW) to hold the os open, and then he used another thing called an 'os finder' to try to locate the entrance to the uterus. He still wasn't certain that he got the swimmers in the uterus, but he said nothing came back out and he thought that was promising.

Another one tomorrow... let's hope it goes better because this morning's experience was really not fun. First time I've ever had an insem take longer than 10 minutes max, too.

feeling a bit gloomy, sorry not responding to everyone individually... definitely sorry to those who are out for the cycle,

jen

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#130 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 01:12 PM
 
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Sorry your insem was so unpleasant Jen! I do my first IUI next month...and I'm so fearful of that as well because my cervix is really high and uncooperative. Thus...the reason DW wasn't able to do the DIY IUI. Well...as unpleasant as it was...it's done right?!

Tigermiep...there's nothing wrong with the way you feel about that. In fact...that is the one thing that worries me in this whole process. I wouldn't say I second guess the decision...but that is constantly a worry for DW and I. Of course we wish one of us could be a SAHM...but it's just not feasable. We've accumulated way too much debt in student loans and some rental properties we have purchased to ever consider eliminiating one of our incomes. Would we have made different decisions if we knew then what we know now? Sure. But, all we can do now is deal with it the best we can. I think everyone has different challenges when it comes to parenting. Your concern just shows that you truly want what's best for your child. And in the end...that's having a family that loves and adores them. I'm sure you can handle that!!

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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#131 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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Oh, Jen. Hang in there. And be the tree! :
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#132 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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INSTRUCTIONS FOR A BOARD-WIDE BLESSING:

:
To all you: mamas / wimmin / womyn / genderqueer folks...

1. Grab your: talisman / holy book / partner / child / rosary beads / womb
2. Assume your: meditation pose / prayer stance / pleading position....
3. Appeal to your: higher power / desperation / happy place
4. For: your heart's desire
5. When you're done say: thank you / amen /hurry up, already

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#133 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 02:28 PM
 
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starling&diesel, has anyone told you lately that you rock?

If not, I'm telling you now! Not only was that fantastic and necessary but it was funny to boot. THANKS!

Jen :

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#134 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 03:13 PM
 
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starling&diesel, has anyone told you lately that you rock?

If not, I'm telling you now! Not only was that fantastic and necessary but it was funny to boot. THANKS!

Jen :
Ditto !!!!!

Celebrating the arrival of our twins twins.gifCharlie & Chloe, born Jan 28th 2011 !

 


 

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#135 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 03:40 PM
 
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Starling and Diesel - that was awesome!

JenInMpls - sorry your insem sucked - but yippee for finally surging...

Frog - glad the storm missed you... those swimmers sound awesome!

Coco - that's awesome that your temps are back up...

I am sending out GIGANTIC hugs to all who got BFNs the past few days...

I am pretty much cursing the silly RE for talking me out of doing a 2nd insem, as I am pretty sure we blew the timing. BUT - I was obsessing that I wouldn't O at all - and I did O at least. So that's somewhat comforting. My mind is alreayd on the cycle #3... Just gotta wait the 13 days for AF and off we go. (I'll also be in Florida by the pool with my in-laws running around after Oliver for hte last week of my 2WW - whoohoo.)

Hugs all around...
T
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#136 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 03:43 PM
 
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I just had to drop in to say that I am SO glad we are on a break.

I started my period a few days ago. On CD21, which is when I usually ovulate.
What? Why? Ew.

Anyway, started Vitex. Started temping. Even if we are waiting quite some time to get started again, we can at least be confident doing it when we start again. It gives us plenty of time to get my cycles figured out.
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#137 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 03:44 PM
 
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I'll also be in Florida by the pool with my in-laws running around after Oliver for hte last week of my 2WW - whoohoo.)
hey, Im in Florida! (Although nowhere near the pool!)
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#138 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 03:53 PM
 
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I've been away all week and I'm just checking in now. It's amazing how much happens in one week...I don't think I can do justice to the goings-on here with one posting, so I'll just say that I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all of you amazing, strong people, at whatever stage of the journey you're at.

Our first REAL (as in, we're actually going to do an IUI) cycle started yesterday. The RE has been notified, and I'll be calling the bank later today to get the swim team shipped out next week. We're doing an US on the 17th. We are very excited. I want to tell everyone I know that our baby's egg is growing RIGHT NOW!!! (But I'm not, because that would just be crazy).
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#139 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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All my love to the cl family. You're in my prayers today.
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#140 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 04:07 PM
 
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Ok ... here's something funny.

We're arranging to set up the implant date for the FET, which means some more bloodwork and drugs for me. But we got blood requisitions for both DP and myself in the mail (we live waaaaaaaaaaaay out in the boonies, faaaar from the Fertility Clinic).

Hmm. Why DP? She's a big ol, tattooed bulldagger who has NO intention of her feet ever being in stirrups ... unless there are leather chaps involved.

So I phoned:

ME: "Hey, just wondering why DP needs bloodwork done if she's not doing the carrying?"

Receptionist at the clinic: "(Cough.) Um ... because we assume you are still having relations."

ME: Hahahahahah! HAHAHAAH! : "Riiiiiiiiiight."

HER: "Makes sense now? Communicable diseases, etc?"

ME: "So did you just come up with 'relations' on the spot? Or do you use quaint Victorian euphamisms all the time?"

HER: "Well, with male/female couples, I tend to say 'intercourse.'"

ME: "So, do you get a special queer inservice where they suggest more inclusive alternatives?"

HER: "Nope. Came up with it on the spot. How'd I do?"

ME: "You aced it! Although 'intercourse' would've been fine too."

HER: " HAHAhahahahaha! I guess so."

ME: "But I like the quaint Victorian euphamism better."

And THEN we had to drive to the next town, where there's a lab, and the doctor wasn't listed and so the admin clerk hollered across the crowd of injured and hungover ski accident victims ... "What kind of doctor is this?"

So I gleefully hollered back, "A fertility doctor!" And then DP melted into a puddle beside me, and I put her in a bucket and we went upstairs to where the lab tech dug in her fully-tattooed arms for a vein. Good times, folks. Good times.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#141 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 05:08 PM
 
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That's AWESOME, s&d. LOVE it.

AAM: Freakin' delivery service claims our HOUSE is "closed to deliveries'' so they took the swimmers back to the warehouse. :

Xytex Man is calling them right now to tell them to get their sh*t in a pile and make the delivery, already.

ETA: I just got a text message from turtle that said, and I quote, "Jizz is in da house."
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#142 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 05:38 PM
 
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And now I can't stop singing "jizz is in da house" to the tune of "groove is in the heart."
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#143 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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speaking of getting their sh*t into a pile:

nurse from my clinic called.

There is no 2nd sample from my donor in the freezer.

nurse looked at paperwork.

saw that nurse who does the ordering from sperm bank wrote down that she ordered 2 vials.

called sperm bank who said that when the ordering nurse called, she only ordered one.

so only one was delivered.

and only one was charged to my credit card.

And I suppose that the blame will fall to ME, because I didn't check my card statement to notice that they made a mistake (It's just coming due right now anyway).

But I'm !

Because I'm working with a big clinic attached to a big hopsital (sic) that has protocol for absolutely freaking everything, there is no way I could get uppity and demand that they order another vial right this very second, have it couriered right this very minute to the clinic and get it processed, because the nurse who orders the swim teams is off today, everyone who does the sperm processing goes home in 7 minutes and it wouldn't be ready until tomorrow afternoon if it were actually ordered today (which it couldn't be because the nurse who does the ordering is off today), and if it were actually ordered today (which it couldn't be) and arrived today and processed tonight (which it couldn't be) it wouldn't be ready until tomorrow afternoon and it's impossible for them to do an insemination at any time other than 8 IN THE F*ING MORNING.

So who's at fault here, and are there any good suggestions as to any form of recompense I could seek? Since I'm not out any more money, really, I'm saving myself the cost of the wigglies, the processing and the appointment, all of which I will have to pay next time anyway... the only loss to me, really, is possibly a pregnancy this cycle, and maybe a couple of months' time (if it's another 14 days til I get my period and then another 40 til I ovulate again, ha!).

Really, it boils down to human error, and I suppose I should be forgiving, but I just feel like pulling my hair out, especially considering how long it takes me to ovulate.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh...

sorry, another self-centered post.

s&d, great story, gonna forward that to my wife who reacts to any suggestions that she might carry a baby with 'HELL, NO!', if you don't mind.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#144 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 06:48 PM
 
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But I'm !
Jen:
Understandably ...
I can honestly say that I am not good with human error when it comes to all this, so I'd be your cheerleader if you want to go right ahead and beat the bahoozies out of a pillow. That's what I'd do. Or eat a tub of ice cream.

(ps. feel free to forward the story ... the more the merrier)

And Frog ... thanks to you and your D-Lite flashback, I am reliving several lopsided nights at the dyke bar, mid-nineties. Blech.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#145 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 06:50 PM
 
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And Frog ... thanks to you and your D-Lite flashback, I am reliving several lopsided nights at the dyke bar, mid-nineties. Blech.
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#146 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 07:10 PM
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I just got some bad bad bad $$ news

:::::ran t:

I live in Massachusetts and we are required by law to have insurance (even though the companies are not required by law to make it affordable)

I make a fair income, but was still deemed eligible for state subsidized insurance. I pay just over $100 a month for insurance--not bad, but more than I usually use in services, as I rely mainly on holistic NOT western medicine.

Way back before I pursued any testing I called to see if I had any infertility coverage. The rep referenced me to the "family planning" coverage stating that family planning is covered 100%. I pointed out that usually "family planning" means abortions, birth control, getting you tubes tied, etc. She said "yeah, but it should cover trying to make a family too, as long as you are being treated by an OB in our network."

So I went FULL STEAM AHEAD!! I had it ALL!!! and now they are sending me ALL the bills!!!

Today I fought with the billing supervisor who kept talking down her nose at me saying "The government isn't going to HELP you have kids!"
and I shouted "No they won't BUT they sure will help me sterilize my-deemed "lower income" self wont they!!! This is a government eugenics program they are running here huh? They want to be sure that poorer women abort, prevent and sterilize themselves!!! YUP they sure will pay big bucks for that, but they have decided that I don't make enough money to have agency over my reproductive health!!!"

I pointed out to the supervisor that I have not be diagnosed infertile, I simply had my OB run a battery a tests to be sure that I am in optimum reproductive health and as a woman being required by my government to purchase heath insurance my reproductive system should be covered!!!

Meanwhile KD's sperm count was completely covered by the same health plan!! Because men have a right to know the vitality and motility of their sperm? But I have no right to know if my progesterone level is low???

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#147 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 07:13 PM
 
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kjm, I wish I had a bag for you to punch, alas, there is no such smilie... really sorry for the obnoxiousness!!! I've been in a similar situation with a different health issue... good luck!

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#148 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 07:21 PM
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I know Jen--I feel like you and I both are drowning in red tape but alas NO smilie for that either

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#149 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 07:40 PM
 
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Stacia if you're stalking do you have any friends in Minnesota who do what you do?

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#150 of 554 Old 03-07-2008, 08:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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WTF is going on here today with all the craziness!? So sorry for you Jen, that is beyond sucky. kjm, just simply infuriating!!

Thanks for the smiles frog and s&d .

Loving partner to smartycat  ribbonrainbow.gif  . Enjoying life with our DS's- 4/5/09 and 10/29/10 love.gif!  Moms to three dogs and four cats.
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