Queer TTC May 2008 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-02-2008, 05:30 PM
 
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Greetings!

I'm new around here, but will be having a first go at insemination this month. I'm glad I found this board; I've been trying to find a place to chat with other people who are going through the same experience. Seems like a nice group of folks around here to share in the experience with. Still trying to figure out all the lingo!

We're using my partner's brother as a known donor. Which, so far, has been surprisingly easy. He seems to be right on the same page with us. Here's to hoping it stays that way!

Yesterday, by the way, was a pagan fesitval of fertility. That bodes well for the lusty month of May. May this be a fertile month for all!
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Old 05-02-2008, 05:32 PM
 
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I bought some fancy-pants digital OPK for next time, so here's hoping. (Anyone have any thoughts on the Clearblue digital?
I started using these about two or three month ago and I love them. I never go through an entire box in one cycle because I only test once a day. If I'm feeling particularly POAS happy I'll start out with cheap OPKS then move to the digital when the line starts getting darker. I normally only use 2-3 digitals a cycle and there are seven in a box. The only thing I've found is one of my readers didn't work and fortunately I still had the reader stick from the last box and was able to use that one. If I hadn't I would have taken it back to the store for a refund. I love these mainly because they take the guess work out of it completely. Either you are or you aren't. Plain and simple, and anything I can get to make this process a little more plain and/or a little more simple, I'm all about it!

I agree with everyone else on the BBT. I thought it was worth it to get a more accurate temp.

-Rachel

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Old 05-02-2008, 05:33 PM
 
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heart-n-bones!

-Rachel

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Old 05-02-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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Yeah, I have a bunch of cheap OPKs from that site, but they require peeing in a cup so I only use them for fun/unofficially. (I bought a 40-pack of them, with 10 bonus pregnancy tests, when we first started charting. I'm not OCD at all.) I use a fancier grocery store generic my "official" daily tests, which are often at work. I do one "official" test in the a.m. in time to call the bank, and then one unofficial test in the afternoon, in case my surge is < 24 hrs long.

Even with all that, I've been having trouble catching my surge, so my midwife suggested getting a name brand this time around, hence the digital. Cycle one we inseminated on day 16, and according to FF I O'd on day 20; cycle two we inseminated on day 18, and according to FF I O'd on day 16. Oy!

Add to the mix that the bank we're using (and have our hearts set on) only ships in dry ice, which lasts about 24 hours. So not only do I have to order it the exact morning my OPK turns, but due to the constraints of FedEx I have to O between Tuesday and Saturday. And have the IUI within 6-12 hours of Oing. People actually get pregnant this way? *sigh*

This next time we may go all out, and use a basal thermometer, the digital tests, and clomid. Considering the cost of the little swimmers, not to mention the pain of the IUI given my funny little retroverted self, I guess it makes sense.

Mom to DS (3) and a new baby!  Geeked to be married to my love love.gif

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Old 05-02-2008, 05:37 PM
 
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heart-n-bones!
I second that!

Mom to DS (3) and a new baby!  Geeked to be married to my love love.gif

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Old 05-02-2008, 06:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yesterday, by the way, was a pagan fesitval of fertility. That bodes well for the lusty month of May. May this be a fertile month for all!
Hi Heart-N-Bones! I will add you to our list on page 1 of this thread. You are waiting to O (ovulate) I assume? I'm excited to find out about this pagan fertility festival! I hope it means bfp's (big fat positives) for us all

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Add to the mix that the bank we're using (and have our hearts set on) only ships in dry ice, which lasts about 24 hours. So not only do I have to order it the exact morning my OPK turns, but due to the constraints of FedEx I have to O between Tuesday and Saturday. And have the IUI within 6-12 hours of Oing. People actually get pregnant this way? *sigh*
Wow, pigirl! That sounds very nailbitingly tough! I will not complain again about timing with a nitrogen tank

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

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Old 05-02-2008, 08:54 PM
 
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Welcome heart-n-bones!

Secondly...how do some of you deal with "coming out" in regards to ttc? People at my work know my partner and I are planning a family, but they want to know every detail! They don't ask the straight people ttc these questions: I know they're curious, but with anyone's pregnancy - it's private. And, as with most, we'd like to announce it after the first trimester. I can't get away from the questions though. "Are you yet?", "Did you try last month?", "Are you trying this month?", "Any food cravings?" It's overwhelming. No one bothered my boss like this when she announced her and her husband were trying.
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Old 05-02-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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Erica, I answer the questions that people ask. Now, mostly, it's the Small Friends who want to know the nitty gritty details (they're 7 and 9, now), but I'll answer whatever people ask. That's how I handle it.

Kate, I've got family in GR. I'm hoping to get over that way sometime this summer--if that happens, I'll shoot you a PM. Maybe we could meet up for coffee?

AAM: Had my ultrasound today and, according to the RE, my ovaries are "beautiful" and my uterine lining is "excellent." So we're on for next cycle. Now I just wait to bleed.
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Old 05-02-2008, 09:08 PM
 
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Erica, I also answer all questions. We've kept out TTC away from people who would ask too many questions and those we've told we're trying we also inform them not to ask about it that we will inform them or update them when we're ready or able to.

ETA: Frog that is so awesome! Congrats on the beautiful pictures. I just have a feeling next month is so your month. I hope to join you.

-Rachel

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Old 05-02-2008, 09:52 PM
 
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On the subject of coming out ttc:

Our situation is so unique -- 'adopting' frozen embryos created by dear friend and an unknown donor ... they have two children from the same 'batch' -- that the details either beg to be ignored, or plead to be explained.

I have several tiers of information that i can choose from when sharing.
For close friends and family, they know it all.
For paramedic coworkers, I am selective. I've told my dearest fellow paramedics the ins and outs.
For everyone else, I share whatever i feel comfortable sharing.

We are very protective of our timeline, however. I don't want people watching the calendar and then asking how it's going. If it doesn't work out, we want the opportunity to grieve privately, together, before we share our loss, if we decided to share that aspect at all.

We're about two and half weeks away from our first try, of perhaps two tries total. We're hunkering down and holding fast to each other and playing our cards very close to our chests and praying for the baby to join our family.

I'm with frog ... if they ask, I'll usual tell. I admire curiosity, and I admire people bold enough to ask. And for the most part, we're happy to share the story of how we're building our family.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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Old 05-02-2008, 10:34 PM
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so Moll and I are separating y'all, yup wish it wasn't true, but thats what it looks like. We are still in love with each other but we are chasing opposite dreams, leaving our relationship in pursuit of someone we have yet to meet. I want a baby and she wants polyamory. This situation can/does work out for some families, but I'm not in place where I can start sharing my partner mid-TTC-coaster.
It sucks!! Neither of us can afford to/ want to move out of our new house so we are taking baby steps. Our office will become a bedroom and we will start pursuing our dreams separately. sucks sucks sucks sucks!! I swear if I get a BFP this month I'm gonna be one distraught TTCer maybe I should suspend all future insems for the moment?



Re: Erica's question

I've seen our process of TTC as political as it is personal. This is NOT how it is for all families, but for me it is important for me to educate people along the way. So yeah, I tell everyone! and I answer ALL questions.

It was hardest at the Apollo (you are ex-Apolloer no?) mostly because Casey was soo damn supportive and because he and Laura had a hard time getting Gus--so yeah you would think he would know better, but sometimes the ones that have been through the process are the worst he always asked. So, whatever you do, don't tell Casey and Kim!! Nahh they've been great, But then again I don't work their anymore so who knows how I would feel if they were still asking after 1 year? At my new job, they never ask. They all know and I answered all their questions in the beginning and I told them "I'll tell you when I'm knocked up!! Don't ask!" Friends & our Moms' mostly ask "How are you two?" and we know what they are asking

Of course in light of our recent break up this will severely complicate things!! Everyone knows, and now here comes the judgment that I am unexpectedly a single parent by choice and still trying and of course it will be really really painful when people keep asking her!!

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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Old 05-03-2008, 12:14 AM
 
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Damn, kjm. I hope you're able to find some peace as you work through all of this. My thoughts are with you. And you've got support from us Western MA folks if you need anything locally.

Mom to DS (3) and a new baby!  Geeked to be married to my love love.gif

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Old 05-03-2008, 12:26 AM
 
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Kate, I've got family in GR. I'm hoping to get over that way sometime this summer--if that happens, I'll shoot you a PM. Maybe we could meet up for coffee?

AAM: Had my ultrasound today and, according to the RE, my ovaries are "beautiful" and my uterine lining is "excellent." So we're on for next cycle. Now I just wait to bleed.
Awesome news about the ultrasound, Frog!

I'd love to get together next time you're over this way. Let me know!
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Old 05-03-2008, 12:29 AM
 
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Oh, kjm, I'm so sorry to hear that.

I hope you're both able to find what makes you happy.
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Old 05-03-2008, 01:24 AM
 
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keely : That's such sad news. I'm sorry to hear it. Be kind to yourself, indulge a bit and use us as a sounding board or shoulder to cry on if you need it.

Man this TTC thing in taxing isn't it? The upheaval is crazy before a bub is even conceived!

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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Old 05-03-2008, 01:43 AM
 
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kjm I'm so sorry that things have worked out this way for you. May the two of you have a loving separation.
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Old 05-03-2008, 04:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So sorry KJM I hope you find peace in your decision and you both remain supportive friends.


As for coming out about ttc - I post occasionally on another board, and one couple relayed a story about a coworker who really thought there was some kind of loadable strap on that you put the sperm in and then they would be ejected in "the act". In light of this, I will always answer every question with the facts. People can get some crazy ideas in their heads. I have been asked if I was having sex with the donor I had to set that straight right away!

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

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Old 05-03-2008, 05:24 AM
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Life is crazy

been up all night sobbing

finally passed out 1 hour ago

phone just rang

my friend is in labor

off to the hospital we go!!

wow

loss and new beginning

crazy
life

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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Old 05-03-2008, 08:11 AM
 
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kjm: Wow, that is horribly sad news about your breakup. I don't know what to say other than we are all here for you.
And then the baby news. Life does go on in crazy ways.

Frog: Congrats on the ultrasound!! : I am so hoping this coming month is it for you (and maybe quasar and whoever else wants to join!!)


Coming out about TTC:
I am an open book, but I am about pretty much that way about everything. People probably know way too much about my body functions as it is. I had to keep my boss up to date on our plans and he has been very excited for us and is very open about it with everyone. I have found so far that most of the questions are very kind and filled with the best wishes for us. I haven't shared with anyone outside of you guys and a few close friends that I might personally join the TTC train and that quasar and I might do it together. But I am sure I will become more open about that as I start going through testing.

Heart-N-Bones: Welcome to the board. We are a wealth of information and support. Hope your TTC (trying to conceive) journey is a short and happy one!!

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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Old 05-03-2008, 08:58 AM
 
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Oh, kjm. I'm so sorry about you and Moll.
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Old 05-03-2008, 10:44 AM
 
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Hello

I am pretty new to this board.
We are starting our first IVF cycle this month. Lupron injections start on Tuesday. If all goes well we will be doing the egg retrieval and transfer by the end of the month.

Loving wife to Kate. So in love with Amelia. Born August 14, 2009
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Old 05-03-2008, 12:18 PM
 
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So no one thinks its weird that we might try to get pregnant simultaneously?? To me that is the weirdest thought that I am having but it is the option that really interests us the most right now.
I don't think it's weird at all! We seriously thought about it when trying to conceive E, but decided against it because of the high incidence of multiples in DP's family. The thought of us both being pregnant at the same time, with one of us possible having multiples, was too much for us. I was mostly worried that we'd go into labour at the same time!

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OK. There is way too much excitement on here for me, now relegated to the lowly lurker role.

But, I MUST know what YA books you've written, S&D. I'm a fan of the good YA stuff, as a teacher/former teacher....dying to know over here!

(Oh, feel free to pm if you don't want to reveal your ID publicly, or to just make me guess if it's too much to ask).


megin
My curiosity is totally piqued now too! I'm a Canadian children's/teen librarian. Sooo dying to know...

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so Moll and I are separating y'all, yup wish it wasn't true, but thats what it looks like. We are still in love with each other but we are chasing opposite dreams, leaving our relationship in pursuit of someone we have yet to meet. I want a baby and she wants polyamory. This situation can/does work out for some families, but I'm not in place where I can start sharing my partner mid-TTC-coaster.
I'm really sorry kjm.

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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Old 05-03-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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Oh Keely, . I'm so sorry your having to go through this and that you guys weren't able to work it out. I think you should listen to yourself right now on whether or not to take a break, regardless you have us behind you. We are all here for you, sister. Feel free to let us know if there's anything we can do. Sending supportive, healing vibes up your way and wraping you in our love. :

-Rachel

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Old 05-03-2008, 12:45 PM
 
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Hello

I am pretty new to this board.
We are starting our first IVF cycle this month. Lupron injections start on Tuesday. If all goes well we will be doing the egg retrieval and transfer by the end of the month.
Welcome!

Mom to DS (3) and a new baby!  Geeked to be married to my love love.gif

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Old 05-03-2008, 01:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi DM360! Welcome! I hope your retrieval goes well.

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

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Old 05-03-2008, 05:06 PM
 
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Thanks for the welcome!

KJM: So sorry to hear about your breakup. May you find much love and support in those around you during this time.



Coming out about TTC: Most folks I know don't ask me. Especially at work. I think they'd rather not know. When we got married last year, they never asked anything about that either, unless I brought it up. Kind of a mixed blessing, I guess. I don't have to answer any awkward questions, but I also don't really get to share my excitement.
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Old 05-03-2008, 05:44 PM
 
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Hello

I am pretty new to this board.
We are starting our first IVF cycle this month. Lupron injections start on Tuesday. If all goes well we will be doing the egg retrieval and transfer by the end of the month.
Hi DM630!! Hope your IVF goes well! Do keep us updated!!

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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Old 05-03-2008, 06:40 PM
 
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kjm
I took a deep, calming breath on your behalf.
You and the baby you haven't met yet are in my prayers.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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Old 05-03-2008, 08:25 PM
 
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hi all-

kjm - I'm so sorry to hear about your news. Sending you many warm wishes as you get through this painful time. Wishing you peace....

Frog- congrats on your beautiful ovaries!!!

Welcome to heart-n-bones and DM630!




I've been lurking to see how everyone is doing but not posting much. I'm in OPK hell - one day they seem to be getting darker, the next day they are light again. I'm terrified I'm going to miss my surge and have to sit another cycle out. I guess only time will tell.

Hugs to all -

T
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Old 05-04-2008, 07:56 AM
 
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I'm in OPK hell - one day they seem to be getting darker, the next day they are light again. I'm terrified I'm going to miss my surge and have to sit another cycle out. I guess only time will tell.

Bad OPKs

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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