Queer TTC May 2008 - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 534 Old 05-05-2008, 04:09 PM
 
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simplelah, my cycle loves me too. This month I had the most absolutely beautiful positive OPK. The line showed up even before the control, so there was no mistaking it. CP was good and CM was ok. I just felt like things were really in line. The only thing 'off', is my cycle is long this time, for me. All last year it was right around 28 days. Ever since TTC the cycles have been 29-33 days. Makes timing the tank delivery kinda difficult. I'm thinking maybe my body is actually being nice to me this time, and making this one a longer cycle since our donor is still in quarantine. Maybe it's waiting till the samples are released. At least that's what I want to believe anyway.

Tash, : for a definite positive OPK!!

LOL! The great college debate! Oh, man, smartycat and I can argue about that at the drop of a hat. All I know, is I'm right.

Dang, if I had inseminated this cycle, I would have been all excited about my little temp dip yesterday and slight rise today....

Loving partner to smartycat  ribbonrainbow.gif  . Enjoying life with our DS's- 4/5/09 and 10/29/10 love.gif!  Moms to three dogs and four cats.
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#122 of 534 Old 05-05-2008, 04:14 PM
 
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quasar - I hear ya. I've had people say that to me too. I have nothing against adopting - in fact, I'm a pregnancy counselor working with women who are placing their children for adoption - but I want to try carrying a child just like any other woman might want to.
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#123 of 534 Old 05-05-2008, 04:58 PM
 
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Hi everyone,

I'm new to the motheriming boards and wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 32 year old single lesbian woman who will start TTC with a KD in August 08. Are there any others out there waiting to begin? I'm finding it SO difficult to wait, but need to because of a couple of work related factors. I've been charting for over a year and consulting with a midwife about a couple of pre-conception issues. I'm also wondering if there are any other single lesbian moms or mommas-to-be out there?

Fiona
Hey Fiona! I am already pregnant (after spending a year getting ready, and seven months hanging out on this board trying), but, as a queer single parent by choice, I wanted to say hi, and to say that yes, we're out here! (Or at least, I'm out here...) Welcome to MDC, and feel free to send me a message if you have questions about single parent stuff.

Angela

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#124 of 534 Old 05-05-2008, 05:09 PM
 
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LOL! The great college debate! Oh, man, smartycat and I can argue about that at the drop of a hat. All I know, is I'm right.
No, I'm right! Go Spartans!!

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#125 of 534 Old 05-05-2008, 06:35 PM
 
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Thanks for the welcome!

KJM: So sorry to hear about your breakup. May you find much love and support in those around you during this time.



Coming out about TTC: Most folks I know don't ask me. Especially at work. I think they'd rather not know. When we got married last year, they never asked anything about that either, unless I brought it up. Kind of a mixed blessing, I guess. I don't have to answer any awkward questions, but I also don't really get to share my excitement.
You know, it's funny, I felt that same way when we got married. That, I wanted to talk about! I hated that feeling of not being able to share. Especially since I worked with so many other women my age that had/were getting married. It sucked! TTC has been different...they want to talk about it.
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#126 of 534 Old 05-05-2008, 07:58 PM
 
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Hey Fiona! I am already pregnant (after spending a year getting ready, and seven months hanging out on this board trying), but, as a queer single parent by choice, I wanted to say hi, and to say that yes, we're out here! (Or at least, I'm out here...) Welcome to MDC, and feel free to send me a message if you have questions about single parent stuff.

Angela
Thanks for the welcome Angela and congratulations on your pregnancy. I just checked out your blog and noticed you're writing a dissertation. I just finished my PhD and I'm now busy turning it into a book. Completion of the book is my pre-baby deadline now. How have you found the stresses of research and a single mom pregnancy? I am now one year into a position as an Assistant Professor and I do worry about how I'm going to manage all the stresses of research, teaching and baby. I'll have 12 months maternity leave (which I know is such a luxury to most Americans, I'm in Canada) and I know my career will just look different after the baby, but sometimes I get worried about whether other people will accept my new career goals.
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#127 of 534 Old 05-05-2008, 08:11 PM
 
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Thank you for all of the "welcomes"

There are a few topics I want to comment on:

Timeline: Knit_grrly, I am also very stubborn and I don't want to think about giving up. DP is the practical one, worries about money.blah blah blah. I feel that I am willing to do what ever to get pregnant. We have talked about taking a break if this IVF cycle doesn't take, but I am not willing to entertain the thought of stopping for good yet.

Adoption:The question about adoption frustrates me. the comments "Have you given up yet, Why don't you just adopt" It is hard when the comments are coming from family. I have nothing against adoption, I just really want to be pregnant. We have had to explain to our family that it is a biological child that we want at this time, but maybe in the future we will consider adoption if we are unsuccessful ttc.

Loving wife to Kate. So in love with Amelia. Born August 14, 2009
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#128 of 534 Old 05-05-2008, 10:15 PM
 
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The Newbies are taking over!!

But that's good... someone needs to keep this thread alive while all us veterans get pregnant and leave it to the next generation of queer mamas to be.

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#129 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 10:36 AM
 
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No, I'm right! Go Spartans!!
<stabs eyes with spork>
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#130 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am still in OPK h-e-l-l. The stick was getting a little darker today (cd 19) - so I freaked out and agonized over whether I should schedule the IUI even though it wasn't quite dark enough, because I'm so scared of missing it again! But I restrained myself.
Hang in there Tash! I hope you get a clear beautiful + today :


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My body hates me. Seriously.

After MONTHS of crazy and unpredictable cycles, the month we step back to chart and just check things out, my cycle is perfect. PERFECT. Text book. So normal.
Simplelah - the same thing happens to me! Every break cycle. It's a conspiracy I think



12dpo - another temp drop today. Just waiting around for Grrrr. . . Now What?

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#131 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 11:42 AM
 
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<stabs eyes with spork>
:

Quasar and I both LOL'ed heartily at this. Will you still love me even though I am a Spartan?

Pran, I was just stalking your chart and was very sad to see the temperature dip.

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#132 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 11:51 AM
 
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So I've been lurking around for the last few months and thought I'd say hi.

First, congrats to all the recent graduates . . . April so rocked!

Second, to all those who need them. May you all find the peace you need in your lives.

Third, for all those currently TTC - I expect you all to be graduated by the time Willowbean, Fiona, and I start this summer. I also expect you to hang around anyway to enable us.

My update: We finally called the sperm bank yesterday to inquire as to the status of our sperm. (For those just joining, our KD lives far away and visited over XMas to deposit at a local bank for us.) I was pleasantly surprised to find out we have 18 vials on ice! KD only made two "deposits," so I was hoping for maybe 10, if we were lucky. The quarantine should be up about June 23, at which point KD will have to submit another round of blood tests. If we can get those done speedily enough, we're looking at a first insem about July 1.

I have truthfully been in serious avoidance mode regarding anything baby-related for a few months. DW has been doing things like researching cloth diapers and buying book on AP and I just haven't wanted to look at any of it. Which I feel bad about, but I figure even if we get pregnant on the first try, we'll have 9 months to decide all that . . . I'm sure my obsession will kick back in once we start actively trying.

Oh, and I have a question for you all. Is there any downside to taking Vitex? I tend to ovulate around CD 19 of a 28-30 day cycle, and my fertile CM seems fairly scant, so I'm thinking of starting now.

Living with my DW, ourcat.gifAstrid, my mom and dad, and their dog and cats, too.  Hoping to start TTC with my OSO as baby-daddy soonish!

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#133 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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Oh, and I have a question for you all. Is there any downside to taking Vitex? I tend to ovulate around CD 19 of a 28-30 day cycle, and my fertile CM seems fairly scant, so I'm thinking of starting now.
There was no downside for me.
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#134 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 12:53 PM
 
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My update: We finally called the sperm bank yesterday to inquire as to the status of our sperm. (For those just joining, our KD lives far away and visited over XMas to deposit at a local bank for us.) I was pleasantly surprised to find out we have 18 vials on ice! KD only made two "deposits," so I was hoping for maybe 10, if we were lucky. The quarantine should be up about June 23, at which point KD will have to submit another round of blood tests. If we can get those done speedily enough, we're looking at a first insem about July 1.
Wow, cool! It's so exciting to be getting so close.

Since we're geographically proximate, and if you don't mind me prying too much - how much does it cost to do that kind of thing with the bank? Is there a sperm bank local to us, or did y'all go to Boston?

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#135 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 01:13 PM
 
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Thanks for the welcome Angela and congratulations on your pregnancy. I just checked out your blog and noticed you're writing a dissertation. I just finished my PhD and I'm now busy turning it into a book. Completion of the book is my pre-baby deadline now. How have you found the stresses of research and a single mom pregnancy? I am now one year into a position as an Assistant Professor and I do worry about how I'm going to manage all the stresses of research, teaching and baby. I'll have 12 months maternity leave (which I know is such a luxury to most Americans, I'm in Canada) and I know my career will just look different after the baby, but sometimes I get worried about whether other people will accept my new career goals.
Thanks Fiona, and congrats on finishing your PhD! At one point, I had hoped to be finished with most of my writing before the baby came. I've long since given up on that dream, but am trying to get all of my research travel completed in the next month or so. Luckily, I'm on fellowship all next year, so I'll have a very flexible schedule for writing and caring for baby.

Yes, I too worry about balancing a career and parenthood, though I'm probably not going on the academic market, so at least I don't have the pressures of tenure publications breathing down my neck.

Anyway, good luck! I had opened a thread on queer single parenting here at one point, which sort of died out after awhile, but feel free to PM me or start a new one if you have other single-parenting questions. There are a few of us who hang out here, for sure.

Everyone else, I'm lurking here keeping tabs on you all. Big for Pranava- I really, really, really had a good feeling about this month for you. I'm so sorry to see that temp dip...

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#136 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 01:50 PM
 
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Anyway, good luck! I had opened a thread on queer single parenting here at one point, which sort of died out after awhile, but feel free to PM me or start a new one if you have other single-parenting questions. There are a few of us who hang out here, for sure.
Yep--thismama is wandering around here, too, and is close to giving birth to her second child, if she hasn't already. I should PM her...
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#137 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 02:05 PM
 
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HI all -

Thanks for all of your good OPK mojo! It worked! I got a BEAUTIFUL surge today, so we're happily back in the game tomorrow. Whoohooo!

Pranava - I'm so sorry about the temp dip... but I'm not giving up for you yet. I stubbornly believe that it will go back up! Hang in there.

Simplelah - I had to sit out last cycle and had the most beautiful chart I've ever had, and the shortest, most regular cycle. Grrrr to that. I agree with Pran - total conspiracy!

Welcome katharinerose....sounds like you're just about ready to start!!

Lol to the college debate! DP and I can't get past public school versus private lefty school (and we are moving to a province where all schools are funded, even private or "charter" schools").

Talk to you all later!

Tash
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#138 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, and I have a question for you all. Is there any downside to taking Vitex? I tend to ovulate around CD 19 of a 28-30 day cycle, and my fertile CM seems fairly scant, so I'm thinking of starting now.
No down side for me at all. In fact, I'm now a Vitex pusher! It has lengthened my luteal phase and made my O day consistently 15 dpo ( used to be 15, 16, 17 dpo) No negative effect on CM.

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

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#139 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 04:13 PM
 
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Crampy. Achy. Migrane.

I love my period. I guess it's a good thing because it's a countdown to trying again.
We still haven't decided if we are on for this month or not.
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#140 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 07:03 PM
 
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Oh, and I have a question for you all. Is there any downside to taking Vitex? I tend to ovulate around CD 19 of a 28-30 day cycle, and my fertile CM seems fairly scant, so I'm thinking of starting now.
It did awesome things for me...after 6 weeks on it, I was pregnant. Under naturopaths instruction, I just stopped taking it at 8 weeks pregnant.

I have heard though that it can sometimes affect your FSH so if you have a prob with that, then I wouldn't touch it.

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#141 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 07:38 PM
 
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Wow, cool! It's so exciting to be getting so close.

Since we're geographically proximate, and if you don't mind me prying too much - how much does it cost to do that kind of thing with the bank? Is there a sperm bank local to us, or did y'all go to Boston?
Not at all. It's costing around $3500, which breaks down to about $200/vial for us. We're using NECC in Boston, but as we're really in Central MA, it's drivable for us so we won't have to have things shipped. They are, however, increasing their fees (the 2nd round of testing that was supposed to be $750 - which seemed steep to start for running blood work - is going to be $1300. Ouch. But since they won't release the sperm without it, what can you do?)

Thanks all for the Vitex advice - I'll probably pick some up this weekend.

Living with my DW, ourcat.gifAstrid, my mom and dad, and their dog and cats, too.  Hoping to start TTC with my OSO as baby-daddy soonish!

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#142 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 09:20 PM
 
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IIRC, your donor is a student, so this is probably a no-go, but is there any chance his insurance would cover the testing? That's how we dealt with the bloodwork, etc, and he didn't get any questions from his insurance company.

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They are, however, increasing their fees (the 2nd round of testing that was supposed to be $750 - which seemed steep to start for running blood work - is going to be $1300. Ouch. But since they won't release the sperm without it, what can you do?)
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#143 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 10:10 PM
 
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It was hardest at the Apollo (you are ex-Apolloer no?) mostly because Casey was soo damn supportive and because he and Laura had a hard time getting Gus--so yeah you would think he would know better, but sometimes the ones that have been through the process are the worst he always asked. So, whatever you do, don't tell Casey and Kim!! Nahh they've been great, But then again I don't work their anymore so who knows how I would feel if they were still asking after 1 year? At my new job, they never ask. They all know and I answered all their questions in the beginning and I told them "I'll tell you when I'm knocked up!! Don't ask!" Friends & our Moms' mostly ask "How are you two?" and we know what they are asking
Crazy!! How did you know I worked at the Apollo?? Small world.
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#144 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 10:16 PM
 
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Had a hysteroscopy today.
Nearly passed out when they 'clamped' me.
They should warn you about how awful that procedure is.
I'm a pretty tough cookie and I very, very nearly passed out.
If I'd known I would've taken Rescue Remedy ... or heck, a handful of ativan!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#145 of 534 Old 05-06-2008, 10:47 PM
 
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So I've been lurking around for the last few months and thought I'd say hi.

First, congrats to all the recent graduates . . . April so rocked!

Second, to all those who need them. May you all find the peace you need in your lives.

Third, for all those currently TTC - I expect you all to be graduated by the time Willowbean, Fiona, and I start this summer. I also expect you to hang around anyway to enable us.

My update: We finally called the sperm bank yesterday to inquire as to the status of our sperm. (For those just joining, our KD lives far away and visited over XMas to deposit at a local bank for us.) I was pleasantly surprised to find out we have 18 vials on ice! KD only made two "deposits," so I was hoping for maybe 10, if we were lucky. The quarantine should be up about June 23, at which point KD will have to submit another round of blood tests. If we can get those done speedily enough, we're looking at a first insem about July 1.

I have truthfully been in serious avoidance mode regarding anything baby-related for a few months. DW has been doing things like researching cloth diapers and buying book on AP and I just haven't wanted to look at any of it. Which I feel bad about, but I figure even if we get pregnant on the first try, we'll have 9 months to decide all that . . . I'm sure my obsession will kick back in once we start actively trying.

Oh, and I have a question for you all. Is there any downside to taking Vitex? I tend to ovulate around CD 19 of a 28-30 day cycle, and my fertile CM seems fairly scant, so I'm thinking of starting now.
I've been taking vitex for about six months. My midwife recommended it and is pretty adamant it can only be good for me.

As for CM, have you tried actually checking inside? I also thought I had quite scant CM until I learned how to use a speculum and discovered there was tons! You can also check with two fingers to draw it out.
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#146 of 534 Old 05-07-2008, 09:43 AM
 
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Quasar and I both LOL'ed heartily at this. Will you still love me even though I am a Spartan?
Naturally!
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#147 of 534 Old 05-07-2008, 09:44 AM
 
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CD1

And please pray for Jess, she has a job interview today that would be big for us. We need her to get this job!
:
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#148 of 534 Old 05-07-2008, 10:15 AM
 
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:

Quasar and I both LOL'ed heartily at this. Will you still love me even though I am a Spartan?
I suppose it's time for me to stop hiding and come out of the closet with my head held high.... I too am a Spartan!

And let me tell you, it's not easy being an MSU fan most of the time. We've developed pretty thick skins over the years.
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#149 of 534 Old 05-07-2008, 10:19 AM
 
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LaH, we're cycle buddies. I'm at CD1 today also.

"The Plan" for now
Also taking this month off. I'm going to get some Vitex today. Acupuncture, charting, and will be doing OPKs at home this month. Next month we're inseming at home with a new (this will be our third) donor.

I had the longest cycle ever this last one. It was 31 days! Coming off those fertility meds after 4 months of being on them really wasn't too bad but my cycle was majorly weird. I didn't O until after CD20. Hoping this cycle with the help of vitex will help me level out.

-Rachel

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#150 of 534 Old 05-07-2008, 12:08 PM
 
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LaH, we're cycle buddies. I'm at CD1 today also.
Yay! We are still unsure if we are a go for the month or not or if we are sitting it out to see how my cycle looks. So, we may be "on a break for this cycle" buddies as well.
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