The Queer & Pregnant thread -- June, July, and August - Page 13 - Mothering Forums
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#361 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 10:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by tigermiep View Post
it's my birthday
Happy Birthday!

Any special plans or fun outings for today? At least tell me you are going to get some really, really good food.

How is your pregnancy going?
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#362 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 11:10 AM
 
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What's that you say miep, it's your birthday?

:

I'm gonna call you about possibly bringing you some birthday clothes out of that bag I was scrounging through at my neighbor's.

Yes. That song: definitely catchy. Almost as catchy as Stephen Sondheim for me... but maybe I'm the only person who gets Sondheim stuck in their head for days after listening. Darn 6/8 time. "Pack up the luggage, la, la, la, unpack the luggage, la, la, la..."

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#363 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 11:35 AM
 
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Welcome, lemurmommies! Woo hoo! :

And happy birthday, miep.

Dude-- we had that birth control song on *record* when I was growing up (dyke mom and sister); I used to sing it to friends and have NO ONE know what on earth I was talking about. Heh.

Hey, lemurmommies, is there a good lemur story behind your name? I ask because when I was in high school, a girlfriend decided that I should secede from the human race and become an indri indri lemur instead. I've had a fondness for them ever since, and your name always makes me smile.

Mom to DS (3) and a new baby!  Geeked to be married to my love love.gif

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#364 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y
: : :M I E P!: : :


And curses to you Jen!! I kept waking up in the middle of the night with that song in my head!!

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#365 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 12:13 PM
 
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And curses to you Jen!! I kept waking up in the middle of the night with that song in my head!!
Yeah, well, I feel your pain, SO DO I.

I guess you can just soothe yourself by looking at quasar and smiling at the thought that the love of a strong, hairy man didn't turn your head and instead of spending your last $10 on birth control and beer, you spent it on pickles and ice cream for your preggo wife.

My week-long blood sugar testing experiment is OVER and my chart is on its way to the midwives. I hope it's just the answer they were looking for. Blood sugars in the 90s look fairly appropriate to me.

To get your mind off of Two Nice Girls, may I propose contributing your top picks for a labor/birth soundtrack? Jo's planning on loading up her iPod. My doula and I are going to be rocking out to 80s music in early labor. Jo will be hiding her head under a pillow and moaning during that. (As payback for the 80s music, I know that there will be some "Ultimate Dance Party 1997" showing up in the mix, because she thinks that really bothers me... even though it doesn't. OK, so I wasn't a clubber like she was! I don't hate the music...)

So stop honky-tonking and share some ideas!

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#366 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 01:26 PM
 
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i hope i don't offend anyone because i plan on listening to some rap music. i mean, michael phelps listens to lil wayne, and he's won sooo many gold metals. i figure it can help me deliver a baby.

i also plan on watching funny movies like superbad and the like.

giggle - mommy to GP born 3.16.09 and parter to liberty (GP's mama). hoping to have 2 under 2 in the very near future via DP's ute!
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#367 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 01:43 PM
 
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Well, I was a rave kid, so as a grown up rave kid I've been aiming the big fuzzy earphones at the baby and playing things like downbeat trance and ambient grooves, like DJ Tiesto's mellower stuff, and Air and Aphex Twin and Juno Reactor and Zero 7. But then I'm balancing out that with good old Chopin and Bach. And then of course there's the phalanx of women singer-songwriters. Can't do without the Indigo Girls, and KD's "Hallelujah" and a couple of Ani tunes, Sweet Honey in the Rock, Lucinda Williams, Ferron, heck, maybe even some Phrank. Anyone remember Phrank?

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#368 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 02:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pigirl View Post
Hey, lemurmommies, is there a good lemur story behind your name? I ask because when I was in high school, a girlfriend decided that I should secede from the human race and become an indri indri lemur instead. I've had a fondness for them ever since, and your name always makes me smile.
When we first met, we quickly realized that her nickname (Ru) and my nickname (Mel) combined together and written backwards spelled lemur. When we got pregnant with E, we called him "the lemur" for our whole pregnancy, because we didn't want to know what we were having and it was cute and gender neutral. That's how I became lemurmommies everywhere.

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Originally Posted by JenInMpls View Post
So stop honky-tonking and share some ideas!
I had a birth mix loaded up onto my iPod when I went into the hospital to have E. Sadly things went so poorly that it never got called into action. It had lots of Ani. Angry, early Ani. And some Alanis. And I honestly I don't remember what else.

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Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post
Can't do without the Indigo Girls, and KD's "Hallelujah" and a couple of Ani tunes, Sweet Honey in the Rock, Lucinda Williams, Ferron, heck, maybe even some Phrank. Anyone remember Phrank?
That's my idea of a good mix right there! And of course I remember Phranc. <hums> "I'm calling up my surfer-dyke pal..."

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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#369 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 02:21 PM
 
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Oh, and Happy Birthday Miep!

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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#370 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 06:23 PM
 
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So, as most of you know, my dp has been cheating. She is leaving for her new fling. I'm utterly heartbroken and don't even know how to begin grieving this huge loss. She says that she still wants to co-parent our baby. Part of me says - no you don't deserve to have anything to do with the kid. But that seems like a slap in the face to lesbian relationships. If we were straight it would be her biological baby and she would of course be a parent. The other part of me says - damn right you're paying child support and taking the baby every other weekend so I can have some fun times too.

What do I do?

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

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#371 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 08:05 PM
 
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oh my, i'm so sorry she's leaving you!

custody issues - that's tough. one the on hand, you both "conceived" this baby but on the other she cheated on you and is leaving you for the new woman... i don't know what i would do in the same situation. how far are you willing to go with the whole co-parenting thing? second parent adoption? some legal paperwork? payment of child support? none of the above? are you financially ok to raise your baby as a single mother? are you ok with your ex's new love being part of your baby's life? i think those are some important areas to consider.

i wish you the best in deciding what to do though. i can't even imagine!

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#372 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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Oh Pranava,
I'm so sorry to hear that your news is not happy.

Has your DP made her feelings on custody/access known? It's a really tough place to be for you - obviously she has no legal recourse if you want to deny her access but by the same token, she has no legal obligation to contribute child support and I can see it all getting very messy if you don't approach it very carefully.

What were your plans for parenting as a couple? Were you both going to continue working outside the home? Was someone planning to SAH? Were you dependent on your partners income?

My suggestion to you for now, is to give it a few weeks or even months, before you think about where you take your parenting relationship. You have a while to go, so honour yourself and your beautiful babe and take some time to find stable ground as an independent, soon-to-be Mama.

Do you have some good support around you? I hope you've got some real life friends/family with strong shoulders. Thinking of you and sending you love Pranava

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#373 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 10:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post
Anyone remember Phrank?
Hell yeah! I have this sad feeling that it may have been one of the CD's I recently culled. And now I really need to listen to Bulldagger Swagger!

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Originally Posted by smartycat View Post
And curses to you Jen!! I kept waking up in the middle of the night with that song in my head!!
Duly warned...I am not going to watch that video! I've just been on a 2 hour drive and the radio in our car has died - hence, I've already got more than enough silly songs running through my head. Eye of the tiger, anyone?

: miep

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#374 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 11:11 PM
 
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I've already got more than enough silly songs running through my head. Eye of the tiger, anyone?
I see you the "Eye of the Tiger" and raise you one "Come on Eileen" :


Oh pranava, I am so heartbroken for you. I don't know what to tell you. I know my initial reaction is heck no! You can't have your cake and eat it too. But I agree with MMM that you should maybe take some time to sit back and think about it. Also, I am trying to remember, but how is it that you are connected to your KD? If it is a friend of your ex-DP, that could get sticky too if they side with her. Bleh, this sucks. I just can't get over how horrible this all is. Please know you have been in my thoughts and I wish I could offer more than just a cyber

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#375 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 11:42 PM
 
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So...I don't know how I'm supposed to do this, but I'm joining this thread! I'm 13 dpo and have had about 7 positive HPT tests of various stengths:!

I can't wait to get to know all of you and hear your stories and plans!
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#376 of 468 Old 08-22-2008, 11:55 PM
 
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Thanks for all the birthday wishes! It's been a good day, and a nice evening -- my dad took DW and me out for fabulous dinner. :

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
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#377 of 468 Old 08-23-2008, 12:42 AM
 
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Duly warned...I am not going to watch that video! I've just been on a 2 hour drive and the radio in our car has died - hence, I've already got more than enough silly songs running through my head. Eye of the tiger, anyone?
I did aerobics to that song in 6th grade. I remember it vividly.

You can watch it tomorrow.

miepie where'd you go eat dinner huh huh??? Sorry I never got to calling you today... was one of those days.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#378 of 468 Old 08-23-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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So...I don't know how I'm supposed to do this, but I'm joining this thread! I'm 13 dpo and have had about 7 positive HPT tests of various stengths:!

I can't wait to get to know all of you and hear your stories and plans!

Welcome its a great place to be!!!:

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
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#379 of 468 Old 08-23-2008, 11:24 AM
 
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Hi, Jen. my dad took us to Chambers Kitchen. Very swanky, very good.

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
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#380 of 468 Old 08-23-2008, 11:31 AM
 
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Welcome LoveMyFamily!! ::

Ha! 7 HPTs at 13 DPO... You way out-did us! :

Scalpel, you are getting soo close!! How do you feel?

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#381 of 468 Old 08-23-2008, 01:04 PM
 
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Welcome LMF!

I still have my collection of 5 HPTs ... the lines are still there!

As for us, I'm 15w1d today and finally feel like I can be in the house while DP is cooking. I still have a major aversion to meat though, which sucks, because apparently my iron is super low. I told my MW that I'd been gorging on chard and kale and spinach (which this baby LOVES!) but she told me to go get some Floradix.

She also told me to go get some magnesium ... Natural Calm ... to try to help the restless legs that are contributing to my insomnia. It works! Two nights now and the legs are not a-kickin'. And Rescue Remedy Sleep spray for the insomnia in general ... also miraculous! So there are three goodies to go get if any of you are dealing with similar symptoms.

We had dinner with our donor embryo mamas and their two girls this week ... I was trying to imagine what our babe will look like compared to his or her genetic siblings. They're very different, so perhaps ours will be different again? It was great to see them all, and it made us all that much more excited to meet our little bijou.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#382 of 468 Old 08-23-2008, 10:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pranava View Post
So, as most of you know, my dp has been cheating. She is leaving for her new fling. I'm utterly heartbroken and don't even know how to begin grieving this huge loss. She says that she still wants to co-parent our baby. Part of me says - no you don't deserve to have anything to do with the kid. But that seems like a slap in the face to lesbian relationships. If we were straight it would be her biological baby and she would of course be a parent. The other part of me says - damn right you're paying child support and taking the baby every other weekend so I can have some fun times too.

What do I do?
Is your ex-dp really committed to co-parenting? It has to be a 100% commitment. But, I agree with the others, just take some time and decide on all of this later. Sending you hugs.
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#383 of 468 Old 08-24-2008, 10:57 AM
 
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good morning, everyone! It is a sparklingly lovely day here in the midwestern suburbs. I have recovered from my birthday, and have an 18-item to-do list for the week, which is only going to get longer, I fear...

Our little guy has been kicking and dancing up a storm this weekend. I'm going to the clinic on Tuesday to see the NP for a checkup, but that may be my last visit there. They only deliver at one hospital, and DW and I weren't impressed with the tour we had of their maternity ward. Oh, very clean, very up-to-date, but it felt a little dismal. We'd like to have a homebirth. That means, then, that we have to start interviewing and choosing midwives right quick, and I have to tell my stellar, sweet, wonderful OB that we're switching care providers.

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
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#384 of 468 Old 08-24-2008, 11:02 AM
 
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miep, I have good references from my first doula, if you want them.

Plus I don't think you could have a BETTER location in (unlikely) case of hospital transfer.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#385 of 468 Old 08-25-2008, 10:44 AM
 
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Oh, the queasiness has started in. Yesterday, I was fine as long as I was lying down, but the minute I got up and started walking my stomach was doing flips! This morning, more of the same. And I'm EXHAUSTED. I could barely walk the dog for 10 minutes this morning.


But I am so happy to be having this instead of trying to chase down KD right now to get another donation!
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#386 of 468 Old 08-25-2008, 11:06 AM
 
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Yesterday, I was fine as long as I was lying down, but the minute I got up and started walking my stomach was doing flips! This morning, more of the same.
This was so me during the 7th week of pregnancy with E. Only the 7th week. It was so odd. I wonder if the same thing will happen this time around?

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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#387 of 468 Old 08-25-2008, 03:24 PM
 
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Pranava -

Ouch, what tough news. I am so VERY sorry! Honestly, my first reaction is that yes, it may possibly be seen as a blow to the integrity and validity of lesbian relationships by some, but it is your life, and your baby's, so you need only make the right choices for you.

One of my biggest fears was that my partner would leave me when I was pregnant, she came close but she didn't. I don't know where I would be now if she had. Very scary, and I am so sorry you are in the middle of the reality of my biggest fear. I hope you find a way to make things work out to your best advantage and that of your baby.

upon
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#388 of 468 Old 08-25-2008, 04:29 PM
 
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Poor Quasar... she has been very lucky and avoided any m/s but this afternoon it hit and it hit hard. And of course, it happened one hour into a 9hr shift that she got called in for today. So right now, she is hiding out in the bathroom hoping to feel well enough to drive home and strand me at work. At first I was all like... aw... her first puke-y Then I quickly realized that it really sucks.

Must be going around today. First h-n-b and then quasar.

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#389 of 468 Old 08-25-2008, 05:04 PM
 
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Hi All!

Thanks so much for the warm welcomes! I'm sorry to those of you going through tough times! I'm pretty hormonal right now, but that's it (no queasiness or anything...yet!). DP and I got into an argument the other night, so I need to try to keep that in check! :

I'm 13 DPO (14 DPIUI) today and went in for a blood test. My HCG is 197. Is that on the high side? I have another appointment on Wednesday to see if it doubles. Can you all give me your numbers? I probably read way too much into it...

Thanks again!
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#390 of 468 Old 08-25-2008, 05:07 PM
 
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...Anyone remember Phrank?
Bustin' in to say that's Phranc, and OF COURSE I do! I get to hang out with her in February. :

<returns to lurkdom>

ETA: pranava, I'm so sorry. You're in my prayers.
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