The Queer & Pregnant thread -- June, July, and August - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 468 Old 08-08-2008, 10:35 AM
 
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Don't even ask me about hypnobirthing. I was a hypnobirthing flunkie. You have to be very out of your brain for hypnobirthing to work, and I'm a very in-my-brain sort of person. For instance, listening to the "deep relaxation" CD, I was not relaxing, but rather noticing that the guy with the cheesy voice said "deeper and deeper" approximately 68 times through the course of the CD. And if anyone tried to tell me that those contractions (a very brainy word, because it describes exactly what is happening, your uterus is contracting) are not painful and are instead "powerful surges", well, you go through them for me, then.

And remember, just from a statistical point of view... what percentage of people giving birth who have done hypnobirthing training do NOT successfully use their hypnobirthing during birth? (And they're not going to put a video of their failed hypnobirthing on YouTube, either.) I'm not saying this only as a means to bash hypnobirthing, because I am intensely jealous of the women for whom it works. I saw all those videos in my hypnobirthing class, too. But I just think that they are really slim minority of the births out there.

We are going to try Birthing from Within this time at the recommendation of my doula who is also a labor and delivery nurse. She said she finds it way more realistic for the majority of women. She made a face at Bradley for us because she said that my partner is not cut out for 'coaching', that a birthing woman doesn't need a coach anyway, and that even if we had a Bradley instructor who was inclusive or even taught classes that were specifically for queer couples, there would be no getting away from their trademarked by-line "husband-coached childbirth" and, even if you are certain you can put that out of your mind and use the methods, it will nag at you unconsciously.

I don't know if I can get my wife to go with me to Birthing from Within classes unless my doula talks privately with her and tells her to go, because my wife will do whatever our doula says when it comes to birth and birth preparation (no, seriously, she will), so maybe I will go by myself. They also have a 'healing from birth trauma' class that i think will be very useful for me in clearing my head and preparing myself for a completely new birth experience.

miep, if your wife won't go for birthing from within, I think that, knowing her, hypnobirthing will be an EVEN longer stretch. Mine went only because I made her because I was certain that hypnobirthing was THE class for me. I'd offer to give you the materials so that you could look them over, but I'm pretty sure I committed them to the cleansing fire I had after T was born (along with my birth plan).

Honestly, not trying to just be the devil's advocate here...

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#242 of 468 Old 08-08-2008, 12:04 PM
 
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Jeninmlps - I wish they had a healing from birth trauma class here, I really need to take it. For that matter, they don't have anything available where I am, I just checked. I actually posted a question in my DDC asking if anyone is trying to get past a previously traumatic birth in hopes of a better time this go round -- and how they plan to do that. Not too many people have replied. I am really scared things will go badly again. I sure hope that the classes help you. After my daughter was born, I met with Pam England twice, but she was in the middle of moving, so I am not sure she was very focused on me and my situation. It didn't help too much. Ah well. I still think she has valuable information.
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#243 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 12:08 AM
 
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Still no baby. Just in case you're all as interested in this situation as I am.

On the bright side, I started having irregular contractions during sex this morning, which lasted throughout the day. I went swimming, which seemed to keep them coming, and then we went to a weird straight wedding where I danced a lot, which also seemed to help spur them on. However, now they seem to have petered out a bit, so I'm a bit discouraged. Thinking of trying more nipple stimulation tonight (sorry, is this so much TMI??), but honestly, my nipples are getting kind of sore. Sigh.

In other news, my father, who had previously announced that he'd decided to come up and visit right after the baby is born, instead bought a one-way ticket to Greece. Leaving this week. Thanks, Dad. :

Okay, an update in the morning. Sleep tight, everyone.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#244 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 06:47 AM
 
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one way??? that's nuts. unless he's greek, in which case it's slightly less nuts, and just a little bit rude. ok. a lot rude.

i am awake. it's around 4:45 here. my hands are itching again. I have had an itchy rash on the middle and ring fingers of my right hand and ring finger of my left hand for about 8 weeks now. I get these little blisters that burst and itch more. then the skin dries up, cracks, bleeds, heals, and it starts all over again.. agh!!!!

and I can't sleep.

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
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#245 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 10:20 AM
 
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Angela that's good!!! Your body is practicing, getting ready. Sleep as much as you can and go out and buy a tube of homeopathic caullophyllum (that may be too many L's but the spelling is very close to correct!). IF your body is ready, it will push you over the edge into labor. If it's not, it won't do anything. Try 3 doses, 20 minutes apart and see what happens. (I was in a similar situation and a homeopath had me do the same with pulsatilla, but you don't seem like you need pulsatilla unless you're weepy all the time - are you weepy all the time?)

Are you doing all your nipple stim with the aid of a breast pump? Might

Cheering for you!!

miep, sorry for your itchies

AAM: my son was up at the crack of dawn, of course, because his mommy and I stayed up and watched the opening ceremony of the olympics. He is in fine form, dumping @!%* everywhere, we have no bread in the house besides pita bread and so I can't make us any toast, and we had cereal for dinner last night so that's out, too. Today is the Irish Fair and we had big plans to go to it and spend much of the afternoon there but I frankly now want to just go to bed. Oh, and my wife plans on spending the morning PAINTING the outside of the house which means that I will, as usual, be on kid duty. Because 5 days a week is not enough. But I know the outside of the house needs painting so I am trying to not be a crab about it.

Off to go clean up the kid's mess and put it out of his reach, since it is impossible for him to follow instructions when I use the computer. And i can't blame him...

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#246 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 11:39 AM
 
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well, I stayed up til 7:30, went back to bed for an hour, and now I'm up-up. DW has gone out to coffee with a friend.

I think the black tea I drank while watching the olympics last night is at fault. we were up til 10:30 or 11 giggling like fiends over ridiculous naming possibilities for the baby (NERO!!! BRUTUS!!! POMPEY!!! POMPEII!!! ROMEO!!! STORK!!!)

Thanks for the feedback on the birth classes. PArt of me says, $#!*, my body knows how to do this! Maybe we just need a knowledgeable doula...

so hungry...

JeninM, I had wanted to go to the Irish fair, too, but we might end up skipping it -- dunno how DW's back is doing today. She was in agony last evening, and with my interrupted sleep, I'm a zombie. How will I surive motherhood?!?!?

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
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#247 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 01:07 PM
 
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We watched a show offa the beeb about a month ago and this family had children named Romeo, Venus, Angel, Isis, Achilles, and a new baby named Caesar Augustus Constantine.

Wife is painting and child is outside painting the sidewalk with water, so I am going to go take my nap opportunity while I have it.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#248 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 02:24 PM
 
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Okay, here's the update-

Contractions still irregular, but definitely getting stronger- they kept waking me up last night. And, this morning, some bloody cervical mucus! It's funny how at the end of nine months you get excited about seeing blood again.

So, I slept late, got some rest, and am just hanging out now. My birthing team is on high alert, and some friends are coming over for tea this afternoon. I feel like the baby is coming this weekend. Very exciting!

Tiger- Yes, my father is Greek, but still... My bitterness about this has to do with its recurrence as a pattern in my life. Big event = absent father. What's funny is that when I first told me father that I was ttc and using an anonymous donor, he got really upset, saying that children need to know who their fathers are. Ironic, since he's been so profoundly absent from much of my life. Anyway, he came around on the sperm bank thing, and eventually even got interested in the donors, etc., so I'm not sure what hang-up is manifesting itself now. I'm also a little bitter because my cousin in Greece (with whom I share a name) just had a baby last week, after accidentally getting pregnant and then marrying the dude. She was not happy about any of it- baby or husband. My father just made a big deal about how he needs to have enough money to make them a big wedding present. I, meanwhile, wanted this baby more than life itself, and have gone into serious debt to get it. So yeah, I guess I'm kind of angry that he's going to see her and her baby before he sees mine, and that her sloppy heterosexuality is being rewarded monetarily. I mean, I don't want my dad's money, it's just the principle of thing. Grrr. Sorry, rant...

On the bright side, my sister is flying up tomorrow night, so hopefully she'll get to spend some quality time with the baby.

Jen- I hope you're getting lots of good sleep, RIGHT NOW!

Hope everyone else is doing well out there. I'm off to make a peach cobbler with some of my farmers' market bounty...

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#249 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 03:03 PM
 
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She's in pre-labor, and she's baking peach cobbler. : your birthing team is gonna LOVE you.

Here's one more to add to your list when you're done with your peach cobbler: scrub the floor on your hands and knees. Very good for contractions!

: patient vibes...

ps: didn't get to nap... child squirted dw with a hose and got dumped unceremoniously inside the house.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#250 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 04:36 PM
 
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Okay, peach cobbler is done, and my birthing team is still not all here. I do not suggest making a woman in labor wait too long for her cobbler, just FYI. If they don't show up soon, I am going ahead with the treats!

Jen, I'm sorry you didn't get to nap. May things improve! I did run to the health food store and got some caulophyllum. Taking it now, will keep you posted.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#251 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 05:30 PM
 
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Angela, how exciting! I LOVE cobbler!

Just kidding - GOOD LUCK with your labor and birth! I can't wait to hear all about your new little one!
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#252 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 08:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AngelaM View Post
Okay, peach cobbler is done, and my birthing team is still not all here. I do not suggest making a woman in labor wait too long for her cobbler, just FYI. If they don't show up soon, I am going ahead with the treats!
Just wanted to pop in and say that I hope you're holding a happy, healthy baby in your arms really soon! Good luck!

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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#253 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 08:36 PM
 
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Yeah, Angela!! How very exciting!! I'll be on the edge of my seat till I hear more :

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

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#254 of 468 Old 08-09-2008, 08:51 PM
 
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GO ANGELA!!!

COME ON, BABY!
::::

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
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#255 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 07:31 AM
 
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ooo, AngelaM - it's been a while now. Can't wait for news!!! :

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#256 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 10:50 AM
 
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Hey, I like waking up and not seeing any updates from Angela. But still, people used to say that about me and it was really only that I hadn't gotten to the computer yet that morning.

And I hope you ate that whole darn cobbler, Angela!

:

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#257 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 07:27 PM
 
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Angela ...? How are you doing, hon?
If you're snuggling with your wee sproglet, that's wonderful ... just get one of your many fabulous supporters to drop a quick birth announcement this way when they've finished the cobbler.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#258 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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Oh ... and as for us, we went to a fabulous queer wedding on the island a couple of days ago and it was the first event we attended where we actually told people that we were pregnant. The folks there are mostly DP's old friends from her bad ass baby dyke years, so she went around with her peacock feathers ablaze, proudly announcing our baby news to all her butch buddies ... many hearty slaps on the backs and shoulder punches later, she was feeling pretty chuffed. It was awesome to see her friends be so supportive and excited to see her become a papa to our bijou. Makes me tear up. Which I've been doing a lot of lately.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#259 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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Just had to pop in here to say that, Angela, I keep checking here for news about you and last night I had a completely vivid dream about you giving birth -- it was fast and peaceful. I hope I was right! Can't wait to hear news.....:

megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#260 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 09:02 PM
 
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... she went around with her peacock feathers ablaze, proudly announcing our baby news to all her butch buddies ...
Were there any comments about her virile checkbook? Mine got those all the time from her butch pals.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#261 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 10:20 PM
 
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Angela, hope things are going well.

In the meantime, I'll just sit here and :

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#262 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 10:36 PM
 
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Still thinking muchly about you and your beautiful bub Angela. Can't wait for the news.

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#263 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 10:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We just got back from vacation. Lake Sunapee in NH was pretty nice. Unfortunately, the weather was not great. It was overcast and rainy all week.

We went to P-Town for one day...spent a few hours at Herring Cove Beach and ate delicious seafood.

We stopped off in Northampton on the way home for a few hours. We ate at WoodStar Cafe and went to a cool little boutique that sold baby stuff.

Overall, it was pretty relaxing. A lot of good food, naps, reading, and playing board games. It was wild to think that when we go next year, we will have a 7 month old with us....the drive out will certainly be much different next year!

Our 20-week ultrasound is tomorrow at 12:30. We have decided to find out the sex and I cannot wait! Really, I am just anxious to make sure everything is okay...I have not felt the baby move yet and want to know all is well. Plus, I want to start calling the baby by his or her name.

I guess it is time to read through the tons of pages from the past 10 days and make changes.....I will update with the sex and health tomorrow. When I do, I will do personals!
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#264 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 11:46 PM
 
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very quick, one-handed message-

baby arrived at 1:17 this morning, after 9 hours of intensely painful but successfully all natural labor!

my birthing team was amazing, and we managed to get out of the hospital by this afternoon.

holding baby (no name yet) and falling asleep. full story tomorrow, with pics.

thanks for all the support, kids!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#265 of 468 Old 08-10-2008, 11:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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very quick, one-handed message-

baby arrived at 1:17 this morning, after 9 hours of intensely painful but successfully all natural labor!

my birthing team was amazing, and we managed to get out of the hospital by this afternoon.

holding baby (no name yet) and falling asleep. full story tomorrow, with pics.

thanks for all the support, kids!
Welcome, new baby! I can't wait to read the story and see the pictures! ::
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#266 of 468 Old 08-11-2008, 01:04 AM
 
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yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaah hhhhhhhhhhhhh!
: : : : : :

Congrats, Angela, you are an inspiration and I can't wait to hear the whole birth story.


: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#267 of 468 Old 08-11-2008, 02:03 AM
 
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Angela ...
So thrilled to hear that you and babe are doing well!
Much babymoon bliss to you and your family!
:

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#268 of 468 Old 08-11-2008, 06:07 AM
 
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Congratulations Angela! :
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#269 of 468 Old 08-11-2008, 06:12 AM
 
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:: Yay Angela ::
So glad that you achieved the birth you wanted.
Welcome BabyGirl

venustx - how are you going? you must be next?

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#270 of 468 Old 08-11-2008, 09:11 AM
 
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Yippee! Congrats Angela! :

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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