I don't have anything more inspiring to add than these great women have already said but I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you. Please take care of yourself and the little one. You are what's most important right now.
Again, all of this is my completely out-of-left-field opinion, but I wanted to put it out there, along with all my love and support. I hope you're able to take really good care of yourself as you work through all of this, and find family and friends to support you too.
Mom to DS (3) and a new baby! Geeked to be married to my love
I am so very sorry about what you are going through right now. I can not imagine the heartache
I am : for you
Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013. If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Please take care of yourself and know that you'll be fine -even though it doesn't feel that way now.
Some of the things your DW is saying sounds scary. Please be careful and protect yourself.
check out www.survivinginfidelity.com for some great articles and message boards.
Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass is a great book.
Sounds like your partner is in what is called the "fog" in infidelity circles. Until she feels true remorse and is willing to do WHATEVER it takes then being together isn't a good idea. She's being a cake-eater right now too.
I am actually impressed that she told you so quickly--that is pretty rare.
DH and I took a couples' communication class a while back, and the facilitator (a marriage/family counselor) said that she gets lots of people in for "marriage" counseling without their spouse/partner and that it can be immensely helpful. She also mentioned as an aside that sometimes the one person starts going, but that it is not long before the partner ends up finally coming too.
I really can't imagine what you must be going through and I hope things get better soon, one way or another. ::::
I haven't posted on this board for ages but read it still on and off.
I'm so so sorry that what should be a lovely time in your life and your relationship is so crappy right now.
I have no more words only
I know I should not let her have the power in this situation. I should choose, but I only have one choice to make, and I don't know if I'm strong enough to tell her to leave. I cry over everything I think of - we were supposed to grow old together. She's saying really terrible things like she hasn't been happy for the past 8 years, but I know that's not true. I was there too. I think she's focising on every negative situation we've ever encountered and has completely forgotten the positives. Her view of reality is skewed becuase this new infatuation feels so perfect. It doesn't help to know this new girl is 24. DP is 42 - mid-life crisis?
I haven't been on here in forever, but logged in today and saw your post. I can't begin to know what you're going through right now and won't try to put out more than what these other wonderful women have given you, but like several others have said, right now, you and the little one you are carrying are more important and you need to look out for the two of you. Easy...no. but for the best outcome of having a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wonderful gift! Good luck with everything!
Tracee dp to Melissa, moms to Kasey, Amanda, and Jesse:
I am so, so sorry mami. Broken hearts suck so very badly...been there many, many times myself.
I know that, in the moment, it is incredibly and exquisitely painful and that strength and healing seem a billion miles away...
But mami, I promise you with everything I am that someday, someday soon, you WILL get there. Hold onto that precious one in your belly and dig in your heels...you will survive to love another day!
Still, details are irrelevant IMO (or not very relevant) - being in love is being in love, and pregnancy is pregnancy, and having one's partner suddenly take up with a new person and express (implicitly &/or openly) that the new person is more important to them than all the intimacy you two have shared together. ... Well. What is there to say about that. I'm thinking it is a fairly common thing to happen unfortunately, and when it happened to me it was like being knocked to the ground and kicked around until everything hurt, and I could not breathe.
Pregnancy made it emotionally worse I'm SURE, IME definitely. I have been dumped before and since, but that time was worst b/c of pg and how I felt about X, I was a mess. He took a short time to "make up his mind" supposedly, but once the cat was out of the bag, it was only a short time before he told me we were over, because he chose her. I think within six months they were married & she was pregnant. I literally could not stand up straight, for weeks, months. I was at sobbing uncontrollably, buckets, even at work but could not take off (without really inconveniencing others) due to my maternity leave was going to begin very shortly thereafter, and I needed to meet with co-workers that would be covering for me. I don't think any of them asked what was wrong ... guess they figured I didn't want to talk about it ... which was TRUE for sure.
Got to admit ... this happened long ago - the kid I was pregnant with then, is now taller than I am ... but it still stings a bit sometimes. Particularly lately, as we recently had some stressful stuff happen that challenged our sorta longstanding coparenting truce a bit (led to arguments with X which made me feel pretty bad).
Btw the coparenting between us, & his parenting of ds at all, only exists at all b/c for years, I more or less forcd X to have a relationship of sorts with our child, b/c his wife "wouldn't let him" since she feared I would seduce him? which wasn't going to happen - the reason I was with him was b/c I didn't know about her until I did - but he allowed her to control him way lots IMO. But anyway, that's going a little OT but to complete my thought - Ds and his father are really close now but that certainly wouldn't be the case if I hadn't facilitated it for like 100% of the effort, the first several years, and I know it wasn't my job to see that X got to see his son frequently, but I'm really glad (for both their sakes) that I did it - well - Usually.
Of course - the marriage he left me for - didn't even last, maybe 3-4 years tops. Whatever! I did see that coming for sure.
OP - I hope you feel better soon ... and I think it does also help to be pg at such a devastating time, not only makes it harder. At least for me, it kinda forced me to take care of myself in a way I probably wouldn't have, had I not been carrying a baby.
Not sure what that smiley means but I hope it's something about wishing you some good vibes, love & light, because that's why I used it.